Originally Posted by
somethingeasy
Story Three - Sour Times
ROTFLMAO! It’s been a long time since I’ve read a really good and funny Lana-bashing fic. Lana-bashing is admittedly fun (to write as well as to read), but it’s been done so many times that it’s hard to find a new angle to write and/or read. Which is why I loved this ficlet, which actually made me laugh out loud, enjoying Lana’s specially prescribed torment. ROTFL!
The fic started out with me suspecting that it was a Lana-bashing fic, considering that our Chlex couple seemed completely unconcerned, and even a little amused, when they saw Lana approaching them in distraught hysteria.
The plot got even funnier when Lana revealed her complete inability to comprehend the real world when she showed that she can’t even read proper official documents, much less plan a response to them. LOL! She needs the ‘smartest people she knows’ in order to understand a simple renter’s contract? The fact that Lana thinks she needs ‘super-smart’ people in order to read the notice from her landlord suggests, in itself, how completely clueless and oblivious she was to official papers and contracts. She doesn’t seem to realize that she could have approached even Clark or Lois or anyone, and they would have been able to help her in ‘translating’ that scary piece of paper. BUT, she obviously saw the official documentation as so arcane and inexplicable, that, in her view, it required a genius to understand and translate it.
I know that her Aunt Nell was trying to make life easier for her, but it might have been kinder to just shoot Lana as a teenager rather than provide the kind of ‘help’ that Aunt Nell did.
heh… it was rather satisfying (albeit implausible) fun to find out that all of Lana’s previous homes had been given to her for obscene renting fees. That is wasn’t the incandescence of her company that had people falling over themselves offering her a place to stay… it was the thousand dollar checks that she represented that had people welcoming her into their homes.
I was ROTFLOL imagining how Lana represented a new bathroom, Chloe’s universities fees, Clark’s new milking machine and all other kinds of lovely accessories to people. So THAT is the reason why people smiled at her so darned often. It wasn’t because she was sooo pretty or such good company. It was simply because she came with a mess of money to sweeten the deal, ROTFL!
ROTFLMAO! The punchline was a killer. Especially the final line ‘will accept the best offer’… as if Lana truly accepted there to be a deluge of responses from people begging to have her in their homes, and she was going to have the luxury of picking the best offer from the bunch.
Actually, I think it might be a good idea for Chloe, Lex and/or Clark to keep an eye on her… just to make sure she doesn’t sell herself into slavery or something. The only type of person to respond to an ad like that would be someone who is interested in procuring a pretty girl in order to exploit her, and Lana is just foolish enough to go along with such an offer without realizing the danger she’s in until it’s too late.
We don’t like the girl, but that doesn’t mean we want her raped and murdered… right?
Great fic. Funny as heck. Thanks for posting!
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