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Thread: NS Monthly Challenge - #11 July 2010 - "Competition" - PG stories

  1. #11
    Wannabe Superhero Ultra's Avatar
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    Re: NS Monthly Challenge - #11 July 2010 - "Competition" - PG stories

    Quote Originally Posted by somethingeasy View Post
    Story 1: Know Thy Enemy

    This was a hilarious fic. I actually sensed that it was going to end in a humourous punch line right from the beginning. Lex’s planning seemed a tiny bit over the top, and he seemed to be ‘mwaa ha haa’-ing a little more than usual while gloating over his inevitable victory over his weaker, worthless and undeserving opponents.

    There was also the fact that Lex was acting distinctly uneasy in hiding the details in what he was doing from his loving wife. Perhaps I’m a softy, but I usually find it hard to imagine Lex being truly evil when he’s in a loving relationship with Chloe. His guilt and uneasiness showed that he was doing something that Chloe would disapprove of, but I was quite certain that it was some kind of petty, underhanded cheating that Lex was indulging in rather than outright evil. Chloe would disapprove, but she would only scold him and call him an idiot rather than leave him because he was a monster.

    I loved, LOVED the lines where Lex was musing over his daughter… how brilliant, vibrant, amazing and precious she was to him. I LOVED the line where Lex noted that he no longer wanted to simply conquer the world for himself, but wanted to take it over and hand it over gift-wrapped to his beautiful girls.

    The ending punch line was awesome! I should have known that the competition was somehow related to Lex’s obsessive need to ‘win the world’ for his daughter. ROTFL! Apparently taking over the world ALSO entails winning every event during father/daughter picnics as well, ROTFL!

    LOL! Poor Chloe. She has an obsessive husband who sometimes crosses over into idiocy over the silliest things. It was good to see her reassuring Lex that Lily will NOT mind if her father ends up coming in second, third or even dead last on every gaming event during the picnic. But I’m sure Chloe knew that her words were NOT sinking in, and that Lex was going to be brooding and snarling before every event trying to intimidate the competition into backing off.

    Chloe at least knows how to fight her battles properly. She will NOT blackmail the other fathers into agreeing to lose the race… but she will ALSO make sure that ‘certain fathers’ don’t use unfair advantages to claim victory. I can’t imagine Clark Kent actually using his powers to cheat, but it’s best to be certain, lol!
    Thank you so much, Sabrina I really wasn't sure if this story was going to work out. Building up all the evil tension and then smashing it with the gag that it was all such a simple and ridiculous thing sounded like an awesome idea in my head, but I had no idea if I could pull it off on the page. Seems I managed it though

    I think there is still a real danger that if Lex became a loving husband and father he would still forever be trying to remain a good person, because he's still going to want everything, albeit for Chloe and their offspring rather than just for himself. I'm glad I made him loving enough as well as competitive; that was important to me. As was showing that Chloe was equally determined and not to be messed with when it came to her family. I mean sure, Clark Kent most likely wouldn't cheat at such an event, but against Lex, you don't think he might just be tempted? I certainly think he might, and I think that would occur to Chloe too.

    Really grateful for the feedback - always wonderful to have your opinions and praise

  2. #12
    Happy-ending addict Senior Member lexie's Avatar
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    Re: NS Monthly Challenge - #11 July 2010 - "Competition" - PG stories

    Quote Originally Posted by Zannie View Post
    I was pretty sure you were the writer of the second one, lexie! I always like fics where Chloe and Lex try to outmaneuver each other - particularly when Chloe comes out on top!
    It's nice to know one's work can be recognised- even though these challenges are supposed to be anonymous- since it means one has a unique identity and style which can be identified even when going darker or fluffier or when dealing with a subject matter unusual to one's repertoire.

    I tend to lean towards the introspective and the bittersweet in my one-shots so I imagine your having read mainly those stories of mine which fall into that category made the identification easier.


    Quote Originally Posted by Zannie View Post
    It's really brave for folks to do these battles - it's hard to put your work out there anonymously for people's comments! I'm impressed.
    These challenges might be a double-edged weapon, I suppose, because readers feel freer to express their ideas on the entries and, at the same time, a lot of people who don't usually read one's work get to do it. I'd say the latter's what I enjoy the most. Sometimes readers don't approach certain fics or subforums and are suprised when they discover they can actually enjoy an author they'd never given a chance to. So, it's a nice way both to introduce yourself if you're a newcomer and you're nervous to put your work out there to be judged and also if you're a regular poster and you're looking forward to being read by a "new audience".

    The perk is getting Sabrina to comment on my works. LOL.

    Quote Originally Posted by somethingeasy View Post
    Story #2: THE ART OF WAR

    I loved how the chapter began describing the major references that Lionel had used in training his son. Art of War, The Prince and Nietzsche’s philosophies would be considered pretty frightening bedtime reading material for most children… except for a Luthor. That was a great way to set up Lex’s psychology and character in the first paragraph… and an excellent way to set the tone for the fic as a whole.
    Chess and its symbology have been used pretty much in the past, but I've read only one Lex-centric fic with The Art of War as inspiration and I'd say it's suprised me not to find more; its principles are so fascinating and they can be seen so clearly reflected on Lex's behaviour and outlook on life.

    Thanks a lot for your extensive review. It's always a pleasure to read your feedback and know you enjoy what I write.
    Last edited by lexie; 4th September 2010 at 18:33. Reason: grammar mistake
    Thxs to beeej for the avi

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  3. #13
    walking with cavemen Senior Member Zannie's Avatar
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    Re: NS Monthly Challenge - #11 July 2010 - "Competition" - PG stories

    Quote Originally Posted by Ultra View Post
    Thank you so much, Sabrina I really wasn't sure if this story was going to work out. Building up all the evil tension and then smashing it with the gag that it was all such a simple and ridiculous thing sounded like an awesome idea in my head, but I had no idea if I could pull it off on the page. Seems I managed it though
    You know, a few years ago I had an idea for working in something like this concept into one of my fics. I can't for the life of me remember what it was now, but it was Lex being all dark, intense and Lex-like and then it was revealed all that emotional investment was for something trivial or funny. I wish I could remember what I was thinking about. Anyway, I'm really glad you wrote the story since it proves to me the concept can be done really well.

    Quote Originally Posted by lexie View Post
    It's nice to know one's work can be recognised- even though these challenges are supposed to be anonymous- since it means one has a unique identity and style which can be identified even when going darker or fluffier or when dealing with a subject matter unusual to one's repertoire.

    I tend to lean towards the introspective and the bittersweet in my one-shots so I imagine your having read mainly those stories of mine which fall into that category made the identification easier.
    I can't tell for sure (since identification like this is often instinctive for me, rather than a series of distinct steps) but I think it was your sentence/paragraph-level writing style I recognized rather than the mood or tone. In fact, that the story dealt with the characters in a way I'm not used to seeing from you actually threw me for a while! That must be part of the fun of these battles - doing things readers would never expect!

    Heh. Maybe I'll enter the next battle and write a completely non-Zannie period piece just to see if I can disguise my style!

  4. #14
    Happy-ending addict Senior Member lexie's Avatar
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    Re: NS Monthly Challenge - #11 July 2010 - "Competition" - PG stories

    Quote Originally Posted by Zannie View Post
    I can't tell for sure (since identification like this is often instinctive for me, rather than a series of distinct steps) but I think it was your sentence/paragraph-level writing style I recognized rather than the mood or tone. In fact, that the story dealt with the characters in a way I'm not used to seeing from you actually threw me for a while! That must be part of the fun of these battles - doing things readers would never expect!
    You know, actually, this is the kind of thing I write 99.9.% of the times when the fic is a one-shot. I'm given to introspection and switching of POVs in long fics too; although my multi-chaptered stories have a very distinct personality, which isn't the one that characterises my ficlets.

    Quote Originally Posted by Zannie View Post
    Heh. Maybe I'll enter the next battle and write a completely non-Zannie period piece just to see if I can disguise my style!
    That'd be fun. I hope you will.
    Thxs to beeej for the avi

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    "PERMANENT" WIPs (UNLESS MY CHLEX MUSE AWAKENS AGAIN AND I GET A LONG-NEEDED CLONE OF MYSELF)

    "Choices"May 30 '11

    "At Second Sight" August 21 '11

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  5. #15
    Spunky Chick Senior Member hfce's Avatar
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    Re: NS Monthly Challenge - #11 July 2010 - "Competition" - PG stories

    Both stories were great. I loved story #1. Lex as a dad cracks me up. LOL! It is a dang picnic for gosh sakes. The world better be ready for a spawn of Lex. She will be as crazy as her dad. LOL! Thank God she has Chloe in her too otherwise the world will be in big trouble. LOL!

    Story # 2 is just brilliant. Lex is so certain he got Chloe where he wants her. But he should know Chloe is no Blana she is always one step ahead of him. I wish we could see part 2 of this. It would be fun seeing Lex look like a fool. LOL!
    "Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. "

  6. #16
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    Re: NS Monthly Challenge - #11 July 2010 - "Competition" - PG stories

    Wow, two very different entries. How fun!!!

    The first one:
    This was hilarious. I love his papers spread everywhere as he plots to be the very best. Knowing his wife would never approve, but yet he's still doing it. Trying to prove himself to the world...as the best father. The icing on the cake...Chloe is no better...she's planning to bring the Kryptonite - LOL!

    The second:
    Ahhh, games. Does anybody really win? Sometimes, but man it takes so much longer when you don't just come right out and go for it when you are talking about love. Well played on both ends, but they are wasting precious Chlex time....oh wait, that's one of the things we love about these two isn't it? Their inability to just come right out and tell each other what they really want.

  7. #17
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    Re: NS Monthly Challenge - #11 July 2010 - "Competition" - PG stories

    Great fics

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