These last few updates I have missed are great. I really want Lex to know the truth of what happen to him and not some lie from Lionel. Great scene here with Lex and Clark and Lionel as well. Offscreeen SV is so much better.
Update soon.
These last few updates I have missed are great. I really want Lex to know the truth of what happen to him and not some lie from Lionel. Great scene here with Lex and Clark and Lionel as well. Offscreeen SV is so much better.
Update soon.
I remember TheAmazingApe mentioning that this fic provided for some good 'therapy' in writing whenever she's getting the blues. It's still available, AmazingApe... AND you don't have to pay some quack $300 per session to get your psyche harmoniously untwisted. Just pour ALLLL of your concerns into Lex's and Lionel's waiting ears, and they'll be MORE than happy to tell you how to make your life aaaaallllll better(there are worse ways to live than being brainwashed by a Luthor).
please reply soon!
This is such a good story................I hope you continue it.
Been busy, but I have definite plans to update this in the next day or so.
Sorry about the delays
Please Update Soon!! I'm dying to know what is going to happen!!....
Just posting a half-chap for now as it's hard to concentrate. I'm working on the rest of it and should have it up tomorrow.
Chapter 13A
Lex racked them up again. It was him against him. And it looked like he was winning. At least he had that going for him.
He grabbed his scotch from the edge of the table and took a long sip. It was a hell of a celebration of life. He wondered what getting out of the hospital after a near-death experience was like for normal people. From TV, it seemed to involve mylar balloons with cartoon characters, a meal accompanied with jokes about how bad hospital food was, and a large, hand-painted banner when he got home.
He'd had none of these things after any stay in any hospital. He didn't exactly want them, plebeian as they seemed. But sometimes he wondered just what it would be like. To have his life celebrated.
You are as alone as anyone could be, for all your money and power. If you died tomorrow, half the world wouldn't care. The other half would throw a party.
"Bitch," he muttered, putting his scotch down to break. The words had been said months ago, moments before she'd taken him in and changed everything. He'd never absorbed the words then. But they came home to him tonight. Her words haunted him because... despite that he'd survived, despite the progress he'd made with Kara, gaining her wary trust, it meant nothing. He was still alone tonight.
Does it ever bother you that absolutely no one wants to be around you?
Not no one. Gina had been waiting with the bottle of scotch he was halfway through. Did that count?
Let's not count the help
No. he supposed it didn't. He'd just taken the bottle and told her to go home till Monday. He said the same thing to his staff members, after the many forced recitations of "Welcome home, Sir." He didn't want to ring in a new start on life with his employees. He wanted... He wanted things he couldn't have. It wasn't as if he wanted to go back, say power didn't matter, just live some normal life somewhere, but... He wanted those things that came with normal life. Mylar balloons and a messy banner and a large table at Applebee's with people who weren't paid to be around him. Maybe he did want those plebeian things.
But that would mean a plebeian life. A life where he wouldn't have seen what he had. Wouldn't have done what he did. And maybe being alone was just the price of, one day, being remembered as the hero. The one who had figured out if Kara Kent was a savior or a warning. And if Clark Kent was...
He tried to push Clark from his mind, just focus on the game. He'd just sunk three solids. He'd have a real job keeping up with himself now.
It was so hard to even think of it. So hard to think of Clark (nice kid, kind, clear eyes, never judged him... once upon a time) as someone not to be trusted.
He'd stared across his desk at Clark today and... Trust me, Lex, there's nothing that's lost that can't be found again.
Perhaps he was getting drunk and sentimental, but what if...
What if he'd stood, come around the desk, asked Clark to sit. Told him everything. About Reeves Dam and the army he'd been building to defend the earth. About Kara and the fact that he knew --- he knew --- she saved him in the river. About how everything he did, he did because it was needed.
And what would have happened?
Clark would have lied. Clark would have called him silly and paranoid. Clark... Clark knew more than he was telling. The fact that the very girl who he was sure (he was fucking positive) pulled him from the water showed up as Clark's cousin from out-of-state only confirmed that Clark knew. Whether it was more than just knowing...
And Chloe... He had a feeling that whatever Clark knew, Chloe knew.
"Fuck em," he muttered, sinking a stripe. "Fuck em both." He chuckled as he realized he was still behind himself.
Because he wasn't going to have a normal life. He wasn't going to gain Clark's friendship again by lying to himself. And he wasn't going to have her in his bed again because he refused to stop.
He was on a path now. He was closing in on the truth. He felt it. No one was going to stop...
He straightened. His study door was open. He could feel the air at his back and the light scent of honeysuckle that accompanied it. It couldn't be her. She didn't wear perfume.
He turned slowly, eyes widening as he saw it was her. Standing in the middle of one of the double doors. "Chloe?"
She stared back at him from the doorway.
He turned back to the table. "I won't even ask how you got in. Between you and Clark, my house has always been wide open." He took another sip of his scotch. "Remind me to beef up security." Remind me not to give security a whole fucking weekend off.
He waited, but no snarky response came.
"What are you doing here?" He set his glass down and lined up to sink another stripe. "I thought Clark's lecture was sufficient. Come to make sure I'm properly contrite?" He placed the cue between his fingers and pulled back as the silence dragged on.
"Why would I do that?"
Her voice startled him and his cue scraped against the felt. He tossed it and turned to her. "Because I knew where Kara was. Because I found her and never said. Because I obviously did all that for some dastardly purpose."
She stared back calmly. "Yes. You did all that," she said. "And obviously for some nefarious reason of your own. But you forgot something."
"Oh? What else did I do to upset your little cabal?"
She stepped forward. "You didn't show."
He furrowed his brow.
"It was Friday," she said, as if that explained everything.
He shook his head, so bleary. "And?"
She stepped forward again. "And you didn't show," she repeated.
His head cleared as he stared at her, coming closer. "And you did? I never thought you would."
She opened her mouth several times. "Is that what you think of me?" She narrowed her eyes. "You nearly died. I'm not supposed to be... concerned?" she finally finished, her face red.
"No, you aren't," he shot back.
"Why?"
"Because I... Because you aren't supposed to be. Period. Do you know what this is?" He gestured between them. "This is not just hate sex. This is loathing sex. You fuck me because I am the worst possible choice and I fuck you because..." his voice stopped. He found himself panting.
"Because?"
"Because I want to know." He rushed forward. When she didn't back away, he grasped her shoulders, pushing her against the one door that still stood closed. "I want to know what it is about you that makes you so far above me. I want to know why I can't stop..." He grabbed fistfuls of her sleeves hard, as if that would make thinking easier. "I want to know what it is about you and... all of you. But... mostly you." He relinquished her sleeves and slid his hands up her shoulders to her neck. Such a pretty neck... He grasped either side of her head. "I want to see into that mind of yours Sullivan. It's not just that you're here, you know. That you can be here in spite of what I did. But I want to know what exactly I did."
She only stared back, her eyes steady, not wide and frightened. Why the fuck wasn't she frightened? He sure as hell was. From the minute he saw her there. Because he wanted her to be there so badly. Too badly.
Ask him years ago and he wouldn't have thought they would be here, either fighting or fucking. There was a time when she worked beside him, a witness against his father. He hid her. He sheltered her then... "We... walk this line now." His hands softened on her and he ran them over the hair behind her ears. Some of it came undone, still slightly wet. "There's this gulf between what you know and what I know. we're on these opposing sides and I don't know why. what happened? How did we even fucking get here?" How did I? Can I ever go back?
"Lex..." He saw hesitation so clearly. She was measuring, somewhere in there. What to say and what not to...
"No." He grasped her by the shoulders again, pressed her against the door. "You tell me." Something changed somewhere. If he wasn't fucking her, he might not have the right to ask. But he was inside her... yet never really there. "When did I become the fucking enemy?"
Her hands came up between them, pushing. "Maybe when you kidnapped me and my mother, it put a damper on..."
"Bullshit," he growled, gripping the forearms that pushed against him. "It was two years before that. Suddenly I was..." What? The bad guy? He'd been the bad guy long before. He knew that. But she'd had no way of knowing, way back then. "Suddenly I was dirt under your heels," he breathed. "And I never knew what changed."
"If you're talking about when you dragged me by force to the Kawatche caves..."
"It started before that. You were sneaky."
"You mean you were." Her eyes narrowed. "Always trying to..." Her voice trailed off and he shook her.
"To what? What was I too close to, Chloe? What do you know?"
The hands that were pushing at him suddenly grasped his shirt, nails scraping his skin through the fabric. "Stop... talking... shop," she growled, before pulling him down, meeting his lips hard.
TBC
So glad you updated. Excellent & can;t wait to read the rest of the chapter.
That was so good getting into Lex's feelings. For Lex's sake, I don't want Chloe to distract him with sex. I want Lex to get an answer, even if she only admits to there being a secret about Clark and that's what divided them. If she doesn't explain the whole truth and I know she wouldn't, she owes it to him to admit that it was nothing he did that pushed her away from him. It was her choosing to help Clark, and Clark deciding that Lex couldn't be trusted that set them on this path. Even though Clark didn't know that Chloe knew the truth until after the second meteor shower, and Chloe had protected Clark before that making sure he didn't reveal anything to Lex about himself during the time that he loss his memory in Blank, even though Clark was still technically Lex's friend until Mortal...Chloe had split herself from Lex before all that. If anything I'd bet it happened during a combination of her finding out Clark's secret in Pariah and the evil part of Lex trying to kill her and Clark in Onyx. To which I say, yes Lex can be dangerous, especially if not controlled, but so can Clark. Why does Clark get forgiven and not Lex? The kind of control a person like Lex would need is friendship and love, and she took that away from him. So I think it's time Lex got some answers. Chloe doesn't have to explain Clark's reasons and she sure as hell shouldn't make excuses for them, but she does need to explain herself. Part of her came to Lex because she cares about him. She didn't have to, her friends would certainly think better of her if she didn't. And she can't pass it off as just because they had an agreement for sex...if that is all it was then as much as she hates Lex, she'd be thankful that they skipped a night. She came out of concern and opened herself up to this possibility so now she has deal with it.
Powerful chapter, lex's anguish with what he wants and doesn't have, I'm glad he's trying to find out why, yet is also puzzled by Chloe. His outsider status and him questioning his purpose and what difference he makes in the world. Wow, I'm looking foward to the next part. Dagney
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