Disclaimer- see Ch1
Spoilers- I'm all over the place and everything is my playground
A/N- I figure I need to clarify something. Lana's pregnancy timing is retarded on the show so in my fic she's 4 months pregnant.
Chapter 2- Visage of the Wolf
“There will be time; there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet…”
T.S. Eliot, “The Lovesong of J. Alfred Prufrock”
Chloe opened her eyes at 9AM to a gray day. She hated gray days. Today promised to be no different because today would be the day that she stopped being a coward and told Clark. Chloe squared her shoulders and put on the face that was so familiar to everyone in town. She expected her day to go downhill. It was how these things went. It was an inevitability. So when she walked into the Talon at 2PM, she was only mildly surprised that Clark hadn’t shown and instead was greeted with the brash countenance of her cousin.
Chloe’s first shift into the wolf had been two months ago and since then she’d been avoiding the Talon. Hell, she was avoiding everything. The likelihood that someone could figure out that something was wildly different with her was dramatically reduced. And to tell the truth, she didn’t particularly want to deal with the crap that came with dealing with Lois, Lana, Clark or the many good citizens of Smallville.
Those first few hours and days were the hardest. She didn’t even have a little control and there was no doubt in her mind that she’d nut out and start eviscerating people. She could deal with the loneliness, but the thought of such a loss of control was something that would undo her completely. But there was an even more primal and truthful reason. She was afraid. Luthor had done something. Before she was kidnapped and lost time, before she had Clark remove the tracking device she was just Chloe. And now she was…something else. Meteor rocks were able to do many things, but give the ability to become a wolf? A creature straight out of legend? Something more had to have occurred.
Chloe was forcibly brought back to the situation at hand when Lois called out her name. From across the room. As much as Chloe knew she loved Lois and as much as Lois loved her, the girl was more often than not too abrasive to be a functioning member of a community. On the best of days, Chloe had a dominant personality. With the wolf? Her dominant personality was enhanced to the nth degree. Chloe knew that if Lois was persistent and her normal self, things would get ugly. So it was with great reluctance that she joined Lois.
“Hey, Chloe. It’s been awhile. Clark said he’d be meeting you and I decided to make it a threesome. Here’s your coffee and I got you a chocolate chip muffin.” Lois’ eyes narrowed and the unmistakable gleam of intrigued calculation settled upon her features.
“It hasn’t been so long, Lois. You were just at my apartment a week ago. And I think I’ll just have water without the muffin, but thanks.”
It was in that denial that Lois knew with absolute certainty that something was very wrong with Chloe. Chloe loved coffee and she loved chocolate chip muffins. On top of that, Chloe had been avoiding everyone. Lois had been to Chloe’s apartment and it was what made her begin to think something was off with her cousin. When Lois had time to really think about the changes in her cousin’s apartment, it had freaked her out. Chloe had labeled almost everything…mainly colors. Her fridge was filled to the brim with meat and meat products. Lois didn’t think Chloe would buy into the extreme low carb, high protein diet, but the fridge doesn’t lie.
Lois looked at Chloe. Really and truly looked at her and she didn’t like what she saw. Chloe was thinner. Lois had noticed that every time someone dropped something or set a cup down none too gently, Chloe winced. She noticed that Chloe was still. Too still. And for some reason she was still wearing her sunglasses. Chloe never did that.
“Chloe, something is off with you and you’re gonna tell me what. And don’t give me that song and dance about how everything is fine and that you’re fine. I know it isn’t true. You’ve been avoiding your friends, you’re not drinking coffee or eating this muffin, your fridge looks like a butcher stocked it, and I go to your apartment and you’ve got colored labels on everything. So go ahead and tell me just how fine and normal that is. Just know that it’s a load of bullshit and I ain’t buying it!”
Chloe felt her hackles rise. She could feel the heat steal down her spine and she knew that her eyes were gold. She also didn’t know what to do. Lois was her family. She smelled like home. She smelled safe and she wanted nothing more than to bury her nose in Lois’ hair so she wouldn’t feel alone. Chloe wanted to be close to Lois and she was both hurt and angered at Lois’ outburst. Chloe wanted Lois to submit but she also wanted the comfort that only Lois could give since she was family. But more than that, Chloe didn’t know what she would do if Lois rejected her…if Lois didn’t believe her. Chloe wanted so much to bury herself in something that wasn’t foreign. The Talon was foreign. It was too loud…too bright. And even though her apartment smelled like her, it too was foreign. A wolf’s den was cozy. It was compact. But her apartment wasn’t. It was so…empty.
“Yeah, Lois, I’m a werewolf. A real, honest to goodness, furry, straight out of legend werewolf. My apartment has color labels on everything because a day or so after I shift into the wolf I’m color blind. You’ll never understand just how freaked out and depressed I was when I woke to grays. Everything! Gray! My fridge has been stocked by a butcher because I’m never full unless I’ve eaten meat. I can’t get enough of it and if it’s anything cooked more than medium rare I don’t want it. It gets better after I shift, but the craving is still there. I haven’t come to the Talon because the coffee bean smell is so overwhelming that I get dizzy and I can’t find my bearings. It gives me headaches. I’m not drinking that coffee because it’s too bitter without sugar and far too sweet with sugar. It wreaks havoc with my taste buds. And dogs and chocolate are two very unmixy things. But to make my life so much more interesting, I haven’t had my monthly cycle in two months and I’m deathly afraid that I’m gonna go into heat! And I don’t know the hows or whys!” No matter how much Chloe wanted to say all those things she couldn’t because she still didn’t understand herself. How could she even begin to explain it to Lois?
“Lois, I understand that in our profession dramatizing the mundane is a necessary skill but you’re being overly emotional.” Chloe really had to sell her irritation so she removed her sunglasses and rolled her eyes for good measure. “I was going through some old things and I found a labeler and I was bored and hyper. The end result was a massive label spree. I’ve been too lazy to remove them and I figured it added an extra sense of whimsy that my apartment had been lacking. As for the meat thing, well, ya got me there. I guess I was hungry when I went to the store. I’ve learned my lesson, scout’s honor.”
Chloe had been about to continue but the sound of Lois clapping interrupted her, “Oh, you are good, Chloe, very very good. I never really and truly appreciated your talents because, hey, we’re family and you’ve never played me. So let me guess. You aren’t drinking coffee right now because you’ve decided that Uncle Gabe is right and you drink far too much of it. And you won’t eat the muffin because you aren’t hungry. Reasonable answers. Ya even got your little aura of irritation going. I mean, bravo! Whoever said you couldn’t be subtle has clearly been fooled. But I *know* you. I realize that my mouth gets in the way of many of the more salient aspects of life, but I’m not an idiot and you can’t play me. So I’ll leave you alone… for now. In the meantime, how about we wait for Clark? That boy can nag on the hour every hour, but he can never seem to actually be on time.”
Chloe realized three things. First, Lois wasn’t an idiot and she had been treating her like one. Second, Lois was gonna dig until she found the big weird bone that was Chloe’s secret. Third, Chloe had to put more effort into not acting like she was acting if Lois was to be fooled. Before Chloe had a chance to offer a rejoinder, she caught whiff of Clark. It was like she had been doused with a bucket of cold water in zero degree weather.
“Lois, I’m going to the restroom. Be right back,” Chloe beat a hasty retreat, but the feeling of Lois’ eyes burning a hole in her back kept her from running…barely. In the split second it took for Chloe to say she was going to the restroom and her departure, Lois noticed a few things. Chloe moved fast and fluid. Chloe wasn’t a gangly albatross, but she moved like she had no bones in her body. It should not have been possible. More importantly Lois noticed Clark looking very confused. “Why would she run from Clark?” Despite the oddity, Lois decided to occupy the farm boy until she could properly corner Chloe later.
When Chloe reached the relative safety of the restroom, she locked the door. She ran to the mirror and saw the panicked expression on her own face. It scared her that she could so easily see the distress so she closed her eyes.
“Why did I run? I called Clark. He can help me.”
“But will he?” It freaked Chloe out that she was answering herself.
“This isn’t real. It’s all in my head. There’s no phantom voice.”
“He can’t understand me. He’s unnatural. He’s wrong. He’s not for me.”
“You’re wrong. He’s like us.”
Chloe opened her eyes and the outside world came crashing down on her. In the span of one heartbeat and the next she heard and smelled everyone in the Talon and was overwhelmed. Everything ran together and one scent was indistinguishable from another. But even in the din, in the chaos, one person was different. One heartbeat went counter to the others. One scent was stronger. One voice tone more distinct. And Chloe knew it to be Clark.
A strong growl answered Chloe. It frightened Chloe to know that the growl wasn’t from inside her head. It came from her. From her throat. “There is no ‘us’! Only you. Only one. Not two. Never two. Be with me.” A low keening erupted from Chloe’s throat and she rocked back and forth in distress. This feeling of being incomplete…of not being whole hurt so badly.
Chloe turned the faucet on and splashed water on her face. She couldn’t stay here. She had to leave. Chloe could do this. She dried her face and left the restroom. It wasn’t hard to spot Clark and Lois and Chloe almost made a run for it, but she couldn’t show weakness. Weakness meant death…especially in front of the other.
Clark greeted her and flashed her that big grin that used to make her heart melt. That grin that was so comforting before was now only the baring of teeth. A thinly veiled threat.
“Hey Clark. Listen, I’m not feeling so well so I think I’m gonna go and meet up with you later.”
“But you called me here, Chloe.”
Before she first changed, the little inflective whine he employed to get his way was merely irritating. Now it was grating and a sign of weakness and she wanted nothing more than to remove his throat. But she *knew* that he was stronger than her. Her fight or flight was seriously messed up when it came to him and that was the problem. Chloe couldn’t make him fit anymore and she didn’t know how to fit with him.
“Yeah. I know, but Lois is here and you said that you needed to discuss some things with her anyways. We can do this some other time. Later Clark, Lois!” Chloe made sure to inject feeling into her words. To inject her personality and let them know that everything was good. One look at Lois, however, let her know that she may have succeeded with Clark but not with her cousin. Chloe felt the momentary twinge of unease but it was quickly supplanted by her need to be anywhere but in the crowded Talon next to Clark.
But fate wasn’t on her side as she was confronted with Lana’s presence just as she was about to exit the Talon. Chloe knew from the look on Lana’s face that Lana wanted to talk to her. It was almost enough to make Chloe scream, but she realized that Lois was still watching her. Since her change, she had noticed many things, or rather many things that she should’ve noticed before but didn’t due to bias were making themselves known to her in a myriad of ways. Clark’s alien nature and surprisingly Lana’s nature.
Where Clark was wrong, Lana was disjointed. Chloe *knew* that Lana was pregnant, but certain things that should’ve been there weren’t and things that were there that shouldn’t were present in Lana. It all led to one immutable fact: Lana was not nor had she ever been pregnant. There were no dual heartbeats in Lana. There wasn’t the slight shift in scent that should’ve marked all the new and exciting hormones in her body. Lana’s movement wasn’t any different. These things were clear to Chloe but she wasn’t looking for those changes. The wolf instinctively knew these things because it was the domain of animals to take notice of such. Since the change, Chloe had been in the presence of pregnant women. And she had noticed all those things, which led to a great confusion in her. “How does one miss the fact that they aren’t pregnant?” The only answer was that Lana was dimmer than she thought possible and that someone, probably Lex, was going to extraordinary lengths to fool her. Which made perfect sense to Chloe.
She was also confused because if these things were apparent to her wolf then Clark had to have known. Clark had X-ray vision. His hearing was even better than hers. He was around Lana before and after she was pregnant. He should’ve known something was wrong. He wasn’t stupid no matter how bumbling he was. Clark had moments of surprising intuition. He just relied on how special he was too much and it made him lazy and complacent. But this was too obvious to be overlooked by his lazy. “So how could he have missed it? Is it because the kryptonite smell that’s always around her? Was it always around her? What did Lex do?” And now Lana smelled odd. As if something vital to her and found in everyone else was missing. It made Chloe feel itchy and anxious, but she had to maintain the jovial act or Lois would notice and be unbearable so she plastered on a big smile and waited for Lana.
“Chloe, I haven’t seen you in a week! Maybe we could hang out sometime? Take a shopping trip, just the two of us. All on me of course.”
“I’ve just been really busy lately and I’m not feeling well today. I think it was something I ate. Just give me a call and we’ll set something up.”
With this, Lana pouted and Chloe wanted to rip her mouth off so she’d never have to see that look again.
“Sure, Chloe. Hope you feel better. And call me if you need anything. I’ll come right over with soup and company!”
Chloe was a big enough person to realize that Lana was really and genuinely only trying to help, but Lana’s simpering and odd smell were the last things she needed. Well next to last Chloe conceded. Lois’ suspicions and Clark’s hurt looks and general alien nature would probably be the last things she needed. “Do the rules allow for a three way tie in that particular category?” At any rate, Chloe left Lana to her simple thoughts and concerns. She was mildly interested to know why Lana thought she was pregnant and why Lex was trying hard to foster those thoughts because something in her was telling her it wasn’t about his undying love for the girl. “He’s probably behind it all. But how and why?” These thoughts consumed her and it was time for her to do something about it. “Which is why I need to tell Clark. Dammit!”
These were things she’d ponder later. Now, however, she needed to leave because she couldn’t stand to be in the Talon for even one second longer. If it were just Clark or just Lois, or just the Talon she knew she could’ve handled it. But today was a gray day and she knew it was all downhill. As she left the Talon and got into her car, all she could hear was the echoing words: “Be with me.”
Bookmarks