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Thread: See Into Me - R - Chloe, Lois, Clark, Lex complete Jun 30 2008

  1. #121
    looking for updates Senior Member somethingeasy's Avatar
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    Re: See Into Me - R - Chloe, Lois, Clark, Lex (12th February 2008)

    Hey Catheryne. That was a very cruel cliffhanger to leave poor Chloe at. My heart is breaking for the poor girl. Actually it's breaking a little bit for Lex as well. I'm dying to know whether he has 'figured it out' in the last chapter, or whether the revelation was still yet to come.

    Please update soon.

  2. #122
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    Re: See Into Me - R - Chloe, Lois, Clark, Lex (12th February 2008)

    This story is so taxing in so many ways. I always have to go into a more depressed state to complete even a paragraph...

    But it's an experience I relish.

    I will be posting the last chapter soon. I will be internalizing for a couple of hours. YOu can expect the last one up by tomorrow.

    Apologies for so many delays in this particular fic.

  3. #123
    An Accused Heretic Senior Member Kit Merlot's Avatar
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    Re: See Into Me - R - Chloe, Lois, Clark, Lex (12th February 2008)

    Quote Originally Posted by Catheryne View Post
    This story is so taxing in so many ways. I always have to go into a more depressed state to complete even a paragraph...

    But it's an experience I relish.

    I will be posting the last chapter soon. I will be internalizing for a couple of hours. YOu can expect the last one up by tomorrow.

    Apologies for so many delays in this particular fic.
    I can understand why this fic is so painful to write, Catheryne.

    Take as long as you need--we will all still be here when you come back
    KATHY

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  4. #124
    looking for updates Senior Member somethingeasy's Avatar
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    Re: See Into Me - R - Chloe, Lois, Clark, Lex (12th February 2008)

    Quote Originally Posted by Catheryne View Post
    This story is so taxing in so many ways. I always have to go into a more depressed state to complete even a paragraph...

    But it's an experience I relish.

    I will be posting the last chapter soon. I will be internalizing for a couple of hours. YOu can expect the last one up by tomorrow.

    Apologies for so many delays in this particular fic.
    oh NOOO!!! So this fic is closing to an end?!??? LOL! I am both ecstatic as well as hugely dismayed by this news. On one hand, I'm finally going to see how it ends! But on the other hands.. no more chapters after this!

    heh... oh well, it had to finish sooner or later, and I'm ecstatic to hear that that I'll be getting another update on this magnificent, complex, traumatizing and anguish-filled fic. I look forward to the characters finally getting their much deserved happy endings.

    Good luck with the writing, Catheryne!

  5. #125
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    Re: See Into Me - R - Chloe, Lois, Clark, Lex (12th February 2008)

    Part 13 Disaster

    She's so far gone
    I can't help her
    She can't stay in control


    Perhaps it was the only way she could pay tribute to a life cut short; perhaps it was a way to temper the guilt she felt for not having done the job as well as she could have had she not been overwhelmed with her own life the last time she was here; or perhaps, and most likely, this was the only place she could run to where Lex’s influence would not reach.

    Either way, Chloe found that the last four years she had spent working with children of Lipaztan’s genocide victims was the closest she had been to heaven—the feel of a young boy clutching her shoulders as he screamed for his dead mother while volunteer doctors extricated a shrapnel from his flesh was more welcome to her now than the suffocating pleasure of lying in Lex’s arms while he called her by her cousin’s name.

    This time I worry about her
    But I won't go back to that world


    The blood around her took her closer to Lois on those last moments. The children’s tears took her to her son.

    Yes, she thought, as another child was brought in with his arm hanging limply to his side as he screamed in pain.

    Chloe reached for the child and placed him on a makeshift cot. “Completely out of the socket,” Lydia told her.

    Yes, she was in heaven.

    You're a disaster
    But you make me happy
    Laughter is so hard
    Disaster, I won't let this kill you
    The past hurts but we'll move on


    On her second week in Lipaztan, she turned on the television in the small camp and watched the news. That early in her self-imposed exile, Chloe thought it would help her to hear news from home. She watched the news of hurricanes in the Midwest, and she wondered briefly if the farms of her childhood have been affected. And then she watched gossip on celebrities who got together and was saddened for them.

    They were happy now. She hoped they weren’t too happy.

    It hurt more when you fell from such heights.
    “That’s so romantic.”

    Chloe turned around and saw Lydia sitting on a plastic chair. She had been alone when she started watching. Now there was company. Lydia graduated nursing six months ago, and went on to work in one of the most prestigious hospitals in LA. When Lydia arrived with her, Chloe had asked her what she was running from. To her surprise, Lydia told her she was running to the devastation, not from anyone or anything from her past.

    Chloe smiled thinly. “After everything you’ve seen, that word is still in your vocabulary?” she asked.

    “After everything we’ve seen here,’ Lydia answered, “you better etch that word into your brain. I’ll keep you sane.”

    “They’ll be divorced in a year, with a keep to shuttle around, and fighting for their meager assets.”

    She's reckless
    One can not face it
    She barely has a soul
    I tried to warn her
    But she lives in her own crazy world


    Chloe flipped the channel and stopped at the still photograph on the screen. Even from so far away, he could take her breath away. He had made a generous donation to the campaign of Pete Ross, dragging to the surface long forgotten suspicions that he had a hand in the fiery death of Lana Lang Ross.

    “He’s going to serve jail time,” Lydia said, breaking the heavy silence.

    Chloe turned to the other woman. “Why?”

    “Insider trading? Murder?” Lydia tried. “They haven’t made it public. I bet it has something to do with Mrs Ross.”

    You're obsessed I must confess
    You're never gonna change
    Angel, I can't lose you


    If it was, Chloe thought that maybe it should be herself imprisoned. There was a loud explosion that jerked her out of her reverie. Someone screamed. The television died. She and Lydia both came running out of the small shelter and saw the smoking hut a few yards away from them.

    A few people from their group were starting to pull injured volunteers out of the shelter. Chloe assessed the wounds of the first victim. Even from the distance she could tell that he was going to lose an eye.

    And then she felt better, because this heaven was worse than any prison Lex could find himself in.

    Maybe someday she would get lucky, and attacks like that would fall directly on her head.

    You're a disaster
    But you make me happy
    Laughter is so hard
    Disaster I won't let this kill you
    The past hurts but we'll move on


    No matter how many of these she’d set, Chloe could not help her hands from trembling when she heard a young person scream while she held him. Eric would never have suffered like this. No, Lex Luthor’s son would never cry like this from pain.

    Lex Luthor’s son died peacefully in his sleep.

    And that was when she found herself tearing up. “You never had a chance,” she said softly to the little boy, who could not understand her anyway. She sniffled.

    A hand closed over her shoulder. She looked behind her and saw one of the visiting doctors. “I’ll handle this,” he told her.

    “I can do this,” she assured him.

    “You have a guest,” he told her. “Freshen up. He’s waiting in the main office.”

    Chloe grimaced at the words. He almost made it sound as if they were back in civilization, and the main office was not a makeshift cabin with a door, and her guest was waiting in the parlor. Over the months, Chloe had fielded off different journalists who dropped by offering to create a documentary on her experience.

    She was a journalist once. She knew what that entailed. She wasn’t willing to answer their questions on her reasons for coming here.

    Chloe nodded and left her station with one last look at the crying little boy. She walked out of the clinic and jogged towards the main office. Automatically, she reached for the band that held her hair up. This was how they freshened up out here. She shook the blonde hair free of knots, then tied it again. Out here, no one minded that a few months after she joined, half of her hair grew blonde while the ends remained a fading brown.

    She pushed the door open. The visitor turned around. Chloe took a step back, then another. Chloe closed the door and started stalking back to the clinic.

    “Chloe!”

    She stopped still, under the sun; with no walls between them, she felt exposed. She had never thought to hear that name again coming from his lips.

    I find it funny how you think I've been blind
    All this time
    I know you love me but you made me decide
    You're not my kind


    She did not turn around. Maybe if she closed her eyes long enough, he would be gone. Chloe counted in her head. Maybe if she reached a hundred, he would have disappeared. She was barely at twenty when she felt his hands close around her shoulders.

    You keep running away from our lives
    Well you're going in circles
    So stop acting like you don't care
    I won't be there for you


    “It’s done,” he said softly.

    “What?” she asked, not turning around.

    “Everything that I thought I’d done. It wasn’t me, Chloe. I didn’t kill Lana.” He took a deep breath. “It took years, and I didn’t fight it.” He leaned to whisper into her ear, “Come home.”

    “When?” Chloe asked. Finally, she turned around, and Lex knew she was not asking about coming home.

    He shook his head. “There wasn’t an epiphany. It was slow and excruciating, one detail on top of another.” He ran his fingers through the hair that he had missed so much. “But I was sure the last night, when I realized I’d fallen in love again. I knew it had to be you.”

    You're a disaster
    But you make me happy
    Laughter is so hard
    Disaster I won't let this kill you
    The past hurts but we'll move on


    And his words were real, she could see it in his eyes. Chloe’s eyes filled with tears. “Then why did you let me go?”

    He took her in his arms. “Because you needed to,” he said into her hair. “You were so lost.”

    She took a deep, shuddering breath. She confessed, “Nothing’s changed. I still feel that it’s wrong for me to be here, alive.”

    His arms tightened around her.

    “I’m afraid about what I’ll do.”

    From obsession after obsession that he’d learned to live through, Lex knew that this was just another one that he would decide to take on. She’d fought against his control, and now, she would learn to depend on it. “You’ll be fine.”

    Disaster I won't let this kill you

    fin

  6. #126
    NS Senior Member Senior Member
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    Re: See Into Me - R - Chloe, Lois, Clark, Lex complete Jun 30 2008

    Poor Chloe having to experience devastation to find some kind of peace. I was glad to see change in Lex, waiting to be exonerated instead of buying his innocence off proves that he didn't do anything. Thankfully there is a chance at a happy, hopeful ending for Chlex. And so good of Lex to give Chloe that chance to find herself instead of forcing himself on her from the start.

  7. #127
    An Accused Heretic Senior Member Kit Merlot's Avatar
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    Re: See Into Me - R - Chloe, Lois, Clark, Lex complete Jun 30 2008

    This was a beautiful ending, Catheryne!

    The blood around her took her closer to Lois on those last moments. The children’s tears took her to her son.
    The guilt that Chloe was living under was taking such a toll on her life. Good for Lex for understanding her need to heal.

    Gorgeous work.
    KATHY

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  8. #128
    Happy-ending addict Senior Member lexie's Avatar
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    Re: See Into Me - R - Chloe, Lois, Clark, Lex complete Jun 30 2008

    I´m so happy you´ve finished this one at last. It would have been a real pity to leave it incomplete.

    This fic was particularly heart-wrenching, and I can only imagine what a psychological toll it must have taken for you to pen it.

    It was a lovely ending, full of promise- just the way I love stories to be.

    I hope you´ll be reading more from you soon, Catheryne. You remain one of my favourite Chlex writers.
    Last edited by lexie; 30th June 2008 at 22:01.
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  9. #129
    looking for updates Senior Member somethingeasy's Avatar
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    Re: See Into Me - R - Chloe, Lois, Clark, Lex complete Jun 30 2008

    This was an amazing end to this complicated, traumatizing, confusing and anguish filled story, Catheryne! I think it was perfect and flawless! I don’t how much time you spent figuring out the perfect and fitting ending to this fic, but it really shows that you put a lot of thought into it

    Either way, Chloe found that the last four years she had spent working with children of Lipaztan’s genocide victims was the closest she had been to heaven—the feel of a young boy clutching her shoulders as he screamed for his dead mother while volunteer doctors extricated a shrapnel from his flesh was more welcome to her now than the suffocating pleasure of lying in Lex’s arms while he called her by her cousin’s name.
    It somehow fits Chloe’s character perfect that she would want to find forgiveness and salvation for herself by giving herself to others. Trying to make up for her sins by seeking atonement in this hard, bloody, gritty way. It’s suits her personality! Actually it also makes sense in retrospect of the time she spent with Lex. She spent weeks (or was it months?) with him trying to ‘save him’ and help him get through his grieving and suffering. She DID help him to a certain extent, and when she decided she had helped as much as was possible, she left for ‘bigger jobs’ elsewhere. Hence her work in Lipaztan!

    They were happy now. She hoped they weren’t too happy.

    It hurt more when you fell from such heights.
    Ouch! Such a cynical thought! But then again *rolls eyes* it IS a ‘celebrity marriage’ and most intelligent people always look on those with a healthy dose of bemusement and scepticism, LOL!

    But it hurt to think that Chloe seemed to think that happiness of that level wasn’t even worth pursuing! Has she lost all faith in emotions like hope and joy?

    Chloe smiled thinly. “After everything you’ve seen, that word is still in your vocabulary?” she asked.

    “After everything we’ve seen here,’ Lydia answered, “you better etch that word into your brain. I’ll keep you sane.”
    That’s a beautiful philosophy actually, and pretty good advice. I’m putting it right up with ‘Try to maintain a good sense of humour, always’… one should never lose one’s romantic fantasies either.

    “He’s going to serve jail time,” Lydia said, breaking the heavy silence.

    Chloe turned to the other woman. “Why?”

    “Insider trading? Murder?” Lydia tried. “They haven’t made it public. I bet it has something to do with Mrs Ross.”
    woah! It seems like there was a HUGE complicated story going on the ‘other side’ of Chloe’s world. I wonder exactly what Lex Luthor went through during this time. There were a few hints given in this chapter, but only vague mentions, hints and allusions of everything that happened to him. I can only guess at the details! Damn, I would have LOVED to have had more details from Lex Luthor’s side about this story that Chloe caught a little glimpse of.

    Maybe someday she would get lucky, and attacks like that would fall directly on her head.
    oh dear… this is NOT a good sign! I thought that Chloe had found some semblance of peace, self-forgiveness and atonement during her time giving herself for the wellbeing of others. But it seems like she’s still filled with self-loathing over her ‘sins’. Oh, Chloe! Everyone else would have forgiven you for your ‘crimes’. Clark, Lex and even Lana and Lois would have been horrified by the burden you’re carrying! *sigh* Chloe has always been her own harshest judge, hasn’t she?

    No matter how many of these she’d set, Chloe could not help her hands from trembling when she heard a young person scream while she held him. Eric would never have suffered like this. No, Lex Luthor’s son would never cry like this from pain.

    Lex Luthor’s son died peacefully in his sleep.

    And that was when she found herself tearing up. “You never had a chance,” she said softly to the little boy, who could not understand her anyway. She sniffled.
    It was also such a shame to see that her time spent saving the life of other children and STILL not found her peace for ‘failing to save’ her own son. In fact, it seems like seeing dying children only adds on to the torture. She’s not trying to find peace… she’s punishing herself!! how heartbreaking!

    Chloe grimaced at the words. He almost made it sound as if they were back in civilization, and the main office was not a makeshift cabin with a door, and her guest was waiting in the parlor. Over the months, Chloe had fielded off different journalists who dropped by offering to create a documentary on her experience.

    She was a journalist once. She knew what that entailed. She wasn’t willing to answer their questions on her reasons for coming here.
    Again, I’m saddened about what this reveals about Chloe’s mindset. She’s not turning those reporters away because she’s disdainful of them and their interview proposals… she’s turning them away because she doesn’t believe herself worthy of any kind of praise-worthy story. She thinks of herself as useless, loathsome and beneath notice… and THAT is why she turned away the interviewers. Oh, poor Chloe! I really hoped she had found a new identity out here during the four years, but she’s as lost as ever!

    Chloe nodded and left her station with one last look at the crying little boy. She walked out of the clinic and jogged towards the main office. Automatically, she reached for the band that held her hair up. This was how they freshened up out here. She shook the blonde hair free of knots, then tied it again. Out here, no one minded that a few months after she joined, half of her hair grew blonde while the ends remained a fading brown.
    heh… I guess I should have wondered about her hair being non-blonde during her time as ‘Lois’. She must have been quite obsessive about maintaining her dyed roots during those weeks/months she spent with Lex. A single blonde hair would have been marked immediately by his sharp, observant eyes.

    “It’s done,” he said softly.

    “What?” she asked, not turning around.

    “Everything that I thought I’d done. It wasn’t me, Chloe. I didn’t kill Lana.” He took a deep breath. “It took years, and I didn’t fight it.” He leaned to whisper into her ear, “Come home.”
    dammit, dammit, DAMMIT! THIS is the only bit of information I’m getting on the trial, investigation, accusations, denials and final acquittal of Lex from all the crime allegations brought up against him, huh? Hmmm, I actually believe him when he says he didn’t kill Lana… perhaps it’s because I desperately WANT to believe him, but somehow… it sounds true!

    He shook his head. “There wasn’t an epiphany. It was slow and excruciating, one detail on top of another.” He ran his fingers through the hair that he had missed so much. “But I was sure the last night, when I realized I’d fallen in love again. I knew it had to be you.”
    Oh my god! That was beautiful! And perfect! I loved it!

    And his words were real, she could see it in his eyes. Chloe’s eyes filled with tears. “Then why did you let me go?”

    He took her in his arms. “Because you needed to,” he said into her hair. “You were so lost.”
    Wow! So has Chloe been waiting all this time for Lex to come running after her and bring her back home again? That makes a lot of sense! I think, at that point, Chloe WANTED someone to see past her disguise, and tell her that all her sins were forgiven and she was welcome to ‘return home’ again.

    Heeee!! And he finally came for her! Honestly, I think it was wonderful that he gave her four years to try and ‘find herself’ before coming back into her life again. After all this time, Lex has finally learned that he can’t control everything, especially not the people that you love. He’s finally learned to love selflessly!

    She took a deep, shuddering breath. She confessed, “Nothing’s changed. I still feel that it’s wrong for me to be here, alive.”

    His arms tightened around her.

    “I’m afraid about what I’ll do.”

    From obsession after obsession that he’d learned to live through, Lex knew that this was just another one that he would decide to take on. She’d fought against his control, and now, she would learn to depend on it. “You’ll be fine.”

    Disaster I won't let this kill you
    This was a perfect ending between this Chloe and Lex. Chloe finally has someone who cared enough to drag her back home to provide her with all the care, comfort and support she was craving. And Lex had learned to actually care and love a person without becoming overbearing and controlling. They both have grown into each other. It’s a perfect, fitting and poetic ending, Catheryne! I loved it!

    I look forward to seeing what fic you start up next. Good luck with your next series. I’m drooling in anticipation for whatever you have planned.

  10. #130
    walking with cavemen Senior Member Zannie's Avatar
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    Re: See Into Me - R - Chloe, Lois, Clark, Lex complete Jun 30 2008

    I just read this all the way through. It was lovely and gut-wrenching, Catheryne. I love the way you jump back and forth and time, and your prose style is moving and evocative. The emotional twistings of your characters are so moving, and I love that you didn't sugar-coat the depths the various characters sunk to.

    I would have loved a little more resolution. I feel like we got a really good sense of Chloe's climactic development but not as much of Lex's. But I'm not going to complain. You captured the characters and their emotions beautifully. Thanks for writing this.

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