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Thread: Complicity (R) Tomb missing scene *complete*

  1. #21
    NS Full Member biscuits's Avatar
    Join Date
    22 May 2006
    A gleeful resident of my own dirty mind

    Re: Complicity, R-rated Tomb missing scene *complete*

    I just discovered this and I have to say I really, really liked it. It had depth, darkness, and deliciously Chlexy undertones. I especially liked the way you described Gretchen memorizing the look of Lex's face, comparing it to Mikey's and making sure that Chloe would recognize it in the future. Oh how I wish this scene existed. Thank you for writing it.

  2. #22
    looking for updates Senior Member somethingeasy's Avatar
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    27 Apr 2006

    Re: Complicity, R-rated Tomb missing scene *complete*

    This was an amazing ficlet. It was short, but intense and powerful. Besides the Chlex undertones, I ALSO liked the way Nonky built up the Gretchen character… how she was made out to be someone to be pitied rather than (only) feared.

    He had a look in his eye like Mikey had the day he killed her. She had thought it was lust or happiness, but knew it now. He was going to hurt her, thinking he was hurting the girl. She’d lost all her chances to learn anything more, but she would always know that look. Taught Chloe how to see it in the empty gaze.
    I especially loved this part, and what it said about Gretchen’s character. Gretchen was self-involved and obsessed about the idea of vengeance… to the point where she felt it was all right to place another innocent body in danger to get her satisfaction. But, she STILL made a point of instructing Chloe on ‘how to look for and recognize bad men’. Gretchen retained enough of her humanity to make sure that the horrors that happened to her were not repeated on another innocent.

    She was trembling on her feet and he saw something violent shift in her expression. He wasn’t prepared to capture her like this. Chloe - in her right mind - would have been too smart to be in her own dorm room. She was so tense the room practically vibrated and hairs stood on his arms.
    I really liked this part. It spoke volumes about the depths of Lex’s care and consideration. I loved that he was not willing to wrestle Chloe to the ground and ‘force’ her into anything, because he was afraid of the psychological damage that ‘might’ be caused by mishandling her.

    His selflessness was actually made better by the fact that he didn’t really have any ‘special regard’ for Chloe. He wanted to help her, just because she was a person in trouble, nothing more special than that.

    "No, you couldn’t know what I need. You can’t imagine what he did to me," she said hoarsely.

    Lex froze in the middle of one of those small, easing steps, his mind catching on the statement. Some man had made Chloe this fearful, insane woman. He didn’t want to imagine how horrible the acts must have been to break her. She had been strong and getting stronger with each year.
    And I loved that he was actually struck frozen with horror at the implication of Chloe being victimized like this.

    "But he was just pretending. Waiting."
    And then we’re back to Gretchen. I thought it was amazing that the hate she held for Mikey was only matched (and perhaps exceeded) by the self-loathing she was carrying around inside. How she ‘allowed’ herself to be fooled so completely.

    It’s truly horrible when the victim ends up blaming her-himself for atrocities committed against them. Nothing worse than that.

    Gretchen flung the girl’s arms up and clutched at the skull, trying to dig at the pity she felt from the girl. She’d been so stupid, so easy to hurt. So simple-minded to be seduced by a cheap bracelet and a few conversations.
    The self-loathing was so intense over here. So much self-hatred for such simple and honest mistakes in judgement. THIS was Mikey’s greatest crime. The physical scars he left were only secondary compared to the gaping emotional wounds he inflicted.

    He found himself nodding vehemently. Whoever had done that to Chloe did deserve to die in agony. She didn’t hurt anyone in the world, not even the people who had wronged her.

    The girl was watching his face with awe, amazed at the sick horror it showed. She wanted to believe in it, but Gretchen knew better. Sympathy was worthless. Only justice mattered.

    "I - I want to help you," he said. "He had no right."
    Again, Lex displays his horror about seeing an innocent woman brutalized in such a horrible way. And I would see he meant every word he was saying here, about wanting to help her, about helping her find justice. And I liked how Gretchen kept vacillating between self-loathing vulnerability and such ferocious ruthlessness. It fit in perfectly with the character; what had been done to her, and what motivated her.

    More than anything else, I LOVED the portrayal of Gretchen in this ficlet. Her actions were insane, but her motivations were understandable and clear. Amazing characterization, Nonky. I wish I could have seen more, but it’s too bad that’s not an option. I’m going to miss seeing more of this Nonky-Gretchen.

    Hmmm. So how’s Trauma coming along?

  3. #23
    Join Date
    09 Mar 2009
    Caught in the RAAAAAAAAAIN

    Re: Complicity, R-rated Tomb missing scene *complete*

    Quote Originally Posted by somethingeasy View Post
    Hmmm. So how’s Trauma coming along?
    Good and angsty. I'm writing a Chlex scene now, which is not really a spoiler because you knew I'd be throwing her to the hot, sexy, men-deeply-and-dysfunctionally-in-love-with-her wolves. Nice to see you in a finished thread of mine . . . I told you I'm not completely fickle. Just mostly. And I'm lazy. Lazy, mostly fickle . . . and very possessive of my Lexes. Notice I didn't distract the Nudge thread with a Lex of mine? Can't do it, it's bad enough sharing the sexy with Chloe.
    Her soul is senstive like a finely made tuning fork. It vibrates and resonates with every little hint of trauma, evil and monstrosity that might be humming in the air, and channels it into expressions of fiction... or recomended websites - somethingeasy

  4. #24
    NS Gold Member Senior Member malugargula's Avatar
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    25 Feb 2003

    Re: Complicity, R-rated Tomb missing scene *complete*

    Really intense. Great job

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