Disclaimer: I own nothing but my computer, and possibly my brain... no wait... that was infested with rabbits with machine guns... uh... so yeah.. own nothing.. what you thought i did? Poor child. you need to take a nap.
Rating: PG-13 to be safe
Genre:
Summary: song-fic based on the song Memory by Sugarcult
Pairing: Chlex, naturally
Spoilers:... uhhhh... perhaps some mild ones from the parts of S4 that haven't sucked... so really not much...
A/N: so i was doing some serious inner thinking (which is always painful) and i was like, Damn, this would make a good fic, and the song Memory was just calling to me for some reason... that and it's TOTALLY AWESOME *ahem* but i digress, so a lot of what happens in this fic was spawned off of rl, and this fic holds a lot of truths for me, but you know what really made me angry, was the fact that the verses (in both the acoustic and normal versions) weren't working out timewise the way Konstantine did for me, which caused me much frustration to my already frustrated self.but i digress yet again, and now I'm just blabbering, which i do ohhh so well ... oh! and thanks to greenbuddy3 for being there and listening to me rant about, well she knows who, and for telling me that it didn't suck chunks
by S. Ann Smith
part 1 of 2
Memory
/...\ this may never start
we could fall apart
and not be your memory /...\
Chloe ran her fingers through her hair, it was the end of another hectic day in the life of the young reporter. Between school, the Torch, and her friends, all of which demanded to be the monopoly of her time, she wondered how this had happened.
She had woken up in a strange bed.
Moreover she had woken up next to a body. A living, breathing, distinctly male body. She quickly gulped down the last of her coffee.
But she was trying not to think about it, because if she dwelled on it for too long, she was worried that she might accidentally do it again.
Not the waking up part.
/...\ lost your sense of fear
feelings insincere
can not be your memory /...\
She wasn't going to think about it. She had an essay to proof for English class, and more importantly she had to ensure that the Torch was ready for it's release tomorrow. Then she had to stop off at the Talon to see if Mrs. Kent needed any help with closing the Talon, even though she didn't serve coffee she had to do something to repent from what she had done last night, instead of mentally berating herself about it. Washing coffee cups for a free Java would have to do. Plus, you know, the free Java.
"Right. Don't think about it, and maybe it'll go away." She tucked the chin-length strand of blonde hair behind her ear. Taking a deep breath she tried to begin what she had told herself she had to do.
/...\ so get back back
back to where we lasted
just like I imagined
I could never feel this way/...\
'Shit.' She thought to herself. She was doing it again. She was thinking about him. And it felt like it was killing her.
Chloe hated this. This feeling of guilt. This feeling of that peculiar hatred of morning. When the light of day shone through, reality in tow, to sink in and mess up the night's magick.
Before she could stop herself, she was driving back to him. Driving up his driveway in the dark. She knew he was there. She could feel it. She sensed his presence with every inch of her body, and every inch of her body needed him. Her feet led her to his office. He was there. She knew it.
She opened the door and looked directly at him. He stood up and offered her a seat, and a drink, both of which she obliged to. He was handing her a cup of herbal tea before she spoke.
/...\ so get back back
back to the disaster
my heart's beating faster
holding on to feel the same /...\
"I suppose you know why I'm here." She looked down into her cup. He had put cream and sugar in it, this she knew. She had watched him. She didn't like either of them in her tea, but she didn't say anything.
He nodded. "I figured you would be here."
It was 9:30 at night, and here she was. Just like yesterday, with him, in his home, drinking tea. She knew what was going to happen.
/...\ this may never start
I'll tear us apart
could not be your enemy /...\
They just sat there in silence for a while, before he again rose. "Are you staying?" he asked looking deeply at her. Almost through her.
Was she? Wasn't that what he wanted? Wasn't that why she was here? She nodded. Yes she was staying. It was settled then.
/...\ losing half our year
waiting for you here
I'll be your anything /...\
She was laying in his arms. He was sleeping, breathing ever so softly against her. She wondered what had become of her. Sleeping with him. Laying here like this. She wondered what her father thought, two nights without her coming home. She wondered if he knew where she was.
/...\ so get back back
back to where we lasted
just like I imagined /...\
She sighed, and let him hold her closer. She let her eyes drift shut, and tried to keep her mind blank, and soon she was fast asleep.
/...\ I could never feel this way /...\
---...---...---...---...---...---...---...---...---...---
part 2 of 2
Memory
/...\ so get back back
back to the disaster
my heart's beating faster
holding on to feel the same /...\
Morning. Painful morning. Lex hated the morning sunshine smiling down on him and his lover.
It had happened again. She had just shown up. Just like he knew she would. He wished she hadn't. If she hadn't he wouldn't have to worry about hurting her. Wouldn't have to worry about wanting her. Wouldn't have to worry about her. Wouldn't have to worry.
But here she was. And somehow he was fine with that. He drifted back to sleep, knowing she was safe.
/...\ this may never start
tearing out my heart
could not be your memory /...\
Lex woke up alone. His bed was cold. She had been gone for a while. It was 10 o'clock. She was in school remember? Nobody was trying to steal her from him. He was Lex Luthor for fuck's sake. They'd be too scared to take her from him.
She was his, that was true, but the world didn't know that. She was still in High School. He could get arrested. Or worse, she could find somebody new.
Maybe she was just using him for something. Maybe she was just horny or something. Or maybe it was just a game for her.
Maybe she thought it was just a game for him. He gulped. No, don't think like that.
/...\ lost your sense of fear
feelings disappeared
could not be your memory /...\
He stormed into the Talon, well not necessarily stormed, but he felt like he should at least put on a good show for the Smallvillians. If that. After all, it was a small town, and he was the only billionaire that lived there now.
Lex began to wonder what he had become, he put his father away in prison only to have him get out and wreak havoc on his life, and yet at the same time, his father had also apparently found god. What Lex needed right now, was something to help him reach out to her, to tell her that he wasn't using her and that he could very well still need to protect her from his father.
/...\ so get back back
back to where we lasted
just like I imagined
I could never feel this way /...\
But amongst all of the turmoil in the life of Lex Luthor, there stood one girl. One girl with the wit and stamina to last and survive throughout all of the mayhem of is life. Perhaps she was the one that he needed, not only to make him a better person, that was just selfish, but perhaps she was also the one person who could understand and assist him in becoming a better person.
Maybe.
But there was something about her. Something that drew him into her. Something about her body. Something about everything that she was that made him feel better about who he was. Maybe he could spend the rest of his eternity with her.
But that was just ridiculous. She was only eighteen, he was pushing twenty-four, and relationships like theirs would never - should never give way to eternity. But there was something about her.
/...\ so get back back
back to the disaster
my hearts beating faster
holding on to feel the same /...\
He was thinking too much. It was time to act on his thoughts, time to act on his feelings. If he held onto her for too long, he could lose her. But if he let go of her, he would already have lost her.
Lex Luthor braced himself for the most painful heartbreak of his lifetime.
---...---...---...---...---...---...---...---...---...---
fin
Memory
"... I'm sorry." Lex finished with a shamefully turned down head..
/...\ this may never start /...\
She brushed a piece of hair from her face, a disguise to wipe the lone tear from her eyes.
/...\ we could fall apart /...\
He watched her, all the while trying not to break himself. He hated himself for what he was putting her through.
/...\ and not be your memory /...\
How could he do this to her? Chloe thought frantically. Maybe he had forgotten about her. Perhaps he was in an accident. Maybe he was just late. She probably had the date written down wrong. Or maybe she wasn't his to begin with. What if he found somebody else? What would she do then? Other than lose all hope.
/...\ lost all sense of fear /...\
It was killing him inside to do this to her. But it had to be done. She was everything he wanted for his life. Everything his father despised. Everything his mother had been and more. He was turning into his father, and he didn't want her to watch that happen. He wanted her to remember him exactly the way he was when he was with her. That would be the best thing for both of them.
/...\ feelings insincere /...\
He was slowly killing her. He had torn out her heart and soul and run-over them both simultaneously. She really needed chocolate chip cookie dough Ben and Jerry's.
"Chloe," his voice was behind her. Only a memory. Only a dream. "Chloe." More insistent the memory urged. "I just came to see how you were." He held his head low. "I'm sorry." He said once more, before he left her alone.
/...\ could not be your memory /...\
Lex. Her voice saying his name would echo throughout his mind for the rest of his life. It haunted his every being. And his every being wanted her back. He was slowly dying inside. And some twisted part of him liked it, while the other part of him wanted, needed her to be more than a pleasant memory in the back of his mind. He needed her to be his again.
/...\ could not be your memory /...\
fin
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*shakes fist* Love the song though, and so glad that you finished it! B.E.A.utiful Story, even if it makes my eyes water!
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