The Lesser of Two Evils - NC-17, Chapter 56 (May 27, 2016)

[somethingeasy]

Chapter Forty-nine

I appears that the healing process is coming along VERY nicely. In fact, I’d say that it’s coming along a great deal better than I could have ever expected. Of course, it does help that a substantial amount of in-story time seems to have passed between the last chapter and this one.

Just to make things clear, although I did note the rapid passing of time between chapters, I still did NOT feel that the pace of the storyline was rushed in any way. Chloe needed, and was given, a substantial and satisfying amount of time to go through the slow healing process. I especially approved and appreciated the idea of Chloe having gotten on a very close long-term relationship with a trusted psychiatrist. It felt much more organic and realistic to imagine Chloe being able to heal with at least one objective, neutral ally to talk to about all kinds of heavily sensitive and even personally shameful topics.

The idea of Chloe blaming herself in ANY way, not only for Lionel’s eventual violation of her, but also his initial attentions on her… that was horrible to contemplate, and I’m so grateful knowing that Chloe was able to voice these concerns, address them, and deal with them with a professional. I don’t know how much Lex was paying for Dr Concord’s services, but they were obviously worth every penny.

At least, I assume that Lex was the one handling all of Chloe’s medical and counselling expenses…? Actually, I think I’d like to see Lex and Chloe have a tiny mention about how helpful the psychiatrist was… just to throw Lex a bone and prove to him that he DID help Chloe considerably through her healing process… even if it was from a distance.

But besides hearing about Chloe getting better, it was ALSO very satisfying hearing about how Chloe still suffered adversely from her experiences, and didn’t really enjoy the ‘normal experience’ of college like most students. This is seriously not because I like to hear about Chloe suffering… but purely because I feel that it added on a layer of realism and naturalism to Chloe’s healing process… hearing about how different she was from the other students, in terms of attitude, behaviour, desires, interpersonal interactions, etc.

Heeee! And it was wonderful to see that Chloe had at least ONE interpersonal relationship that WAS running strong, despite all her other troubles. Lois was fantastic! I loved how supportive she was… and it was very, VERY cute imagining Lois forming a kind of closeness to Lucas Luthor of all people, LOL! Actually, I’m just giggling imagining the kind of conversations that Lucas and Lois probably bonded over… talking about their extremely traumatized, depressed, morose relations, and how best to help them without inadvertently pushing them into some kind of new nervous breakdown. I wonder whether Lois and Lucas created conversation trees and pie-charts to help them out, lol!

And that very last scene with Chloe and her psychiatrist… WOW!! I think it was the pitch perfect way for Chloe to realize and admit to her growing attraction towards Lex. The timing was perfect! I heartily approved of the way that Chloe was given a significant amount of time before she could even feel something resembling a sexual instinct again, and I loved, LOVED how Chloe addressed her newly rediscovered libido with her psychiatrist, sorting out the worst of the remaining issues before taking it any step further. And, most of all, I loved, Loved, LOVED the idea that it was actually a natural, logical, reasonable and organic choice for Chloe to be attracted to Lex Luthor!!! I loved how the discussion with the psychiatrist allowed the audience to place that attraction into perspective, and see how natural it actually was for Chloe to want Lex.

Plus… I liked the idea of Chloe beginning to think, and even dream, of Lex as a ‘sweet, tender version of him she somehow trusted’. It’s a huge improvement over getting panic attacks in his presence, that’s for sure

I’m looking desperately forward to the next chapter. Please do update as soon as possible, Nonky!

[Kit Merlot]

This is wonderful! Good for Chloe for confiding so deeply with her therapist--Chloe seems to trust her and I like that she has someone to turn to. And I like that Chloe is remembering that Lex is a man that she can trust, and that she can sleep with again.

Continued excellent work on this fic

[trinna]

More soon please.

[kitten]

Chapter Fifty


Lex Luthor knew how his day would start. He would roll out of bed to a wet nose poking at his knee, giving an absent pat to the dog that tried to trip him on the way to the bathroom. After a shower and a quick breakfast, he clipped the leash on the dog's collar.

"Come on, Cara, we have time for a quick lap of the block before I drop you off to Francine," he said.

Clicking his tongue in a vaguely remembered noise from his riding lessons, Lex took his briefcase and led his dog into the hallway. They rode the elevator down. He nodded to the doorman and wound the leash tighter as they exited the building.

"Good girl," he praised. "You choose the way this morning."

The curly golden dog swung her nose both ways, frantic for the walk. She flicked her ears a few times and turned right. There was a friendly hotdog vender that way with great sympathy for Cara's need for snacks. It was too early for food carts, but he was glad his dog possessed good direction.

"You just ate," he scolded gently.

It was the end of the month. For his employees, it meant a paycheque and settling monthly bills. For him, it was a day to clear his morning. He drank a little, avoided his assistant and reluctantly sent a single email. He waited in uneasy silence, doing nothing in particular. Chloe always answered, and he always opened the reply immediately. The single word was vital, if not gratifying.

He resisted the temptation to ask her how she was. It was a fundamentally stupid question. He didn't deserve to be personal with Chloe Sullivan. If not for the need to protect her from Morgan Edge, Lex would leave her alone.

He had willingly embraced the present, and dealt only with going forward. His past was hardly settled, but it was replaced by new moments in lockstep march. Momentum was positive, as was basing his life on simpler things. The dog had trained him to stop what he was doing periodically and toss her toys through the hallway. At work, Lex tried to keep his overtime to an hour a day. He used his mind, but avoided obsessing.

Lionel Luthor was a shameful example he emulated only in his iron-fast control over his business. His personal life didn't require so much looking after. The pretense of mourning had stretched overlong, into a kind of lapsed social life. People mistook it for his taking more care over his public image.

Some of those long mornings, he'd brought Cara to the office. She was company, but she disliked the scent of his liquor. Lex didn't want to think about getting by without a drink. He lived for Chloe's reply and he dreaded it worse than financial ruin. At least his money was some use to her.

He dropped his dog off with a retired couple a few buildings over from his own. He had given up the sterile, professionally designed decor in favour of dog damage and minor clutter. Rigid control didn't work on canines. As the door swung shut on the happily affectionate dog slobbering the pet sitter, he felt a pang of anxiety.

The nerves didn't make sense. He knew Chloe's exact reply, for years now. In this small way, he knew her very well. She allowed his penance, paid out in cheques to her doctor and surveillance sweeps of her life. She permitted a specific, sanitized imposition by security experts. And even his precautions keep her alive were accepted grudgingly.

It was duty that made him slowly type the password unlocking this filament of communication that still linked them, and deep emotional fatigue that made him uncertain he had checked the right message. Instead of that safe, discouraging word, there were four. And none of them were 'no.'


He had blundered through several days of waiting. Lex debated opening a bottle of wine, and cursed himself bitterly. He didn't know what this was. Chloe might want a business meeting, plain and lukewarm with her intent. She could intend to really talk to him, and their personal issues terrified him. He had put those feelings away, like packing broken ornaments in tissue paper.

She might need money, he thought. She might bring her lawyer. She didn't want my money then, but something might have happened.

Chloe's father, Gabe, was well. Lex had met him once at a company reception. He was a good worker, if a bit too soft for serious advancement. Gabe Sullivan had earned his place in management, but he cared too much to be willing to make himself the boss. He was nice, and told corny jokes that skirted deftly any possible insults to his co-workers. Lex often wondered if Gabe's kind nature made the memory of hurting his daughter worse. He usually decided there was no worse feeling, just a tar-like ball of guilt lodged in his chest.

Cara brushed his legs, trying to draw his attention. He crouched to pet her. Perhaps the dog would break the ice. Most of the time she was good at putting people at ease, unless they were afraid of dogs. Cara almost counteracted his reputation.

“Will Chloe like you? I was going to put you in the bedroom, but you'll be good, right,” he asked her. “And if you think you can help me, that would be a lifesaver.”

Lex stood up with a sigh, heading to the kitchen to make coffee. He could have it ready in case Chloe was willing to observe the social niceties. Or he could let her throw scalding coffee in his face. He watched the coffee beans pulverize to gritty grounds, and debated putting together a platter of food. Heating up hors d'oeuvres would give him something to do.

He couldn't pin down what kind of evening this should be. Even to him the moment was taking on a theatrical surreality. Chloe could arrive any minute and he didn't know whether to hope or brace himself.

The rules of hospitality eventually overcame how silly it felt to put out refreshments for a conversation weighted with years of repressed issues. Lex set the food on a sideboard, ready to bring it over to the living room when it was wanted. He put two cups near the coffeemaker. He sat down, dog flopped over his lap, to wait for Chloe.

Lex scooped the dog to one side when the doorbell rang. He had left the door unlocked, and made sure the lobby guard knew to send her up without a check. If Chloe showed up armed, he didn't blame her. He wasn't ready to be shot, but Lex understood a need to have a weapon ready. Since his introduction to Morgan Edge he never left the house without a discreet revolver riding high on his side.

He rushed to the door, but slowed as he got there. Haste would dislodge whatever calm he'd mustered listening to Cara's snuffling snores. Lex opened the door with the most neutral expression he could force.

“Hi,” Chloe said quietly.

She was dressed in a blouse and jeans, with a backpack over one shoulder and a purse over the other. She had come directly from campus after her evening class, and her eyes were slightly reddened with all the reading college required. Chloe looked taller and leaner, though her height might have been an illusion after years of seeing her only in the distance. For his sanity, Lex had stopped studying the reports from her protection team.

“Hello. Are you coming in?”

Green eyes went past him to the living room and hallway. “Um, maybe in a minute? I'm going to stay here for a bit,” she said, giving an attempt at a smile. “Sorry.”

“No, it's fine. We should have enough privacy,” he told her. “You were saying we need to talk?”

She let the backpack slip to her elbow, lowering it to the floor. “Yes, I just want to . . . collect my thoughts.”

Lex nodded. He averted his gaze as Chloe shifted her weight. “I can bring a chair out,” he offered.

“That's okay,” she whispered. “Can I – change my mind and come in?”

She was wearing lipstick, a light sheen of violet-pink. He was desperate to decode something about her appearance to tell him how to behave.

“Sure.”

Lex pointed the way to the living room, shutting the door with a very controlled motion. It was no time for slammed doors or anything else harsh and jarring. He was being so careful, not even entirely for her sake.

Chloe had stopped to stare at Cara. The dog was standing up on the sofa cushions, wagging so hard her body tried to fold at the ribs.

“You have a dog,” Chloe said. “I wouldn't have thought that about you.”

“I took your advice,” he said simply, letting some warmth in his tone.

Her attempt at a polite smile faltered, and she set her purse down hurriedly. “Yeah . . . I . . . Thanks for meeting me.”

“Of course.” The stiff-necked, proud suspense was killing him. He was almost dying for some kind of big reaction. Chloe was giving him nothing to work with, no cues to adapt to her mood. Her mood was almost absent, just a smooth void where emotions could fit. “Please, have a seat.”

She took her time, walking the long way around the coffee table, and settling on the corner of the big sectional sofa. Lex went back to his spot, scrubbing his short fingernails behind Cara's ears when the dog plunked on his lap.

“I've been okay,” Chloe said suddenly, then stopped with wash of red across her cheekbones.

“Good. I'm glad to hear it.” He would give her whatever she asked, anything to spare them more conversations where they alternated shamed and forbearance.

Chloe shook her head, sitting up. “No, it's only okay. Like, I got better, physically? And emotionally I'm coping. There's nothing wrong with my life, really, except I'm incapable of letting a guy anywhere near me. I can't take an elevator unless it's half-empty. I don't like to be close to people.”

To men. They were talking about sex. He hadn't prepared for this. Lex stopped petting the dog and let his arm fall across her back.

“Dr. Concord can probably-” he began.

“She's been a huge help. And she's done as much as she could do for me,” Chloe told him. “She's great, but she's not included in my problem. She says to learn to trust a man, sexually, I basically have to find a man I feel like I could have sex with. Which is awkward because you're pretty much the only man I've thought of that way in years.”

Despite his effort to sit quietly and just absorb the words, Lex swallowed hard. He nodded a few times, watching Chloe's knees bounce anxiously.

“That is awkward,” he agreed. “I can see how the situation back then would have – might have created a familiarity between us.”

She licked across her violet-pink lips and knocked down every bit of good sense he'd stacked up to be ready to see her again.

“These feelings are recent. They're kind of obsessive, actually.” Chloe leveled her gaze and met his eyes, ignoring the flush across her face as she kept speaking. “I have really loud dreams, apparently, and I'm distracted by it. I basically didn't have a sex drive for years, and now it's demanding I make up for lost time.”

Lex sat very still, speechless. He hadn't allowed himself to think of Chloe that way, and it hadn't felt right to have any kind of hope she might one day want him. He knew he could incite a reaction, but arousal was different from openly, actively desiring a person.

"I've been thinking how weird it is," she said, almost blandly. "How strange that we've had sex, conspired, and witnessed a murder, but we've never kissed. Don't you think it's weird?"

Her green eyes were innocent, even as she raked him over coals he'd walked plenty of hours. Lex thought about explaining the male libido, that once he'd had a woman he kept a fond memory that could coax a hard-on when he was tired or upset. He thought about calling her doctor to come shut down any notion of his suitability for Chloe.

He grunted as the dog stood up on him, lodging one significant paw in his gut and leaping to the floor. “Weird is the least of it,” he huffed. “I'm not sure what you're asking here, Chloe. I find it hard to believe you're suddenly interested in dating me.”

She blinked, and tugged at her blouse. “I'm interested in being able to have a boyfriend, a relationship, a marriage one day. All those things involve sex. I needed the time off from thinking about it, from having it, but now I need to get used to it as a normal part of my life. I would like to try that with you, if you're willing.”

He jabbed his elbows into his knees, hunching as an uneasy warmth started in his stomach.

“I've got to be the last person you'd ever think of that way,” Lex argued.

“The way Dr. Concord explains it, you're the man for the job,” she said, grinning bashfully. “And I wasn't sure, first when I got here, but now . . . She's kind of never wrong about stuff like this. It's disgusting.”

Chloe wasn't wrong. Now that she'd dropped the idea into his head, he was feeling queasy like a lingering case of food poisoning. His dog crawled under the coffee table and looked up at him with a sympathetic gaze.

“You showed up here expecting we'd just have sex,” Lex asked, peeved at being cornered. He felt like half the conversation had occurred in a language he didn't speak. It would be crappy to reject her and cause more issues about sex, but he could hardly say yes.

“No! God, never. I expected you'd freak out and I could suggest you visit Dr. Concord to talk about it,” Chloe said quickly. “It makes much more sense when she explains it.”

He wasn't sure what he was paying that doctor to do, but maybe he should go check it out before Dr. Concord started sending Chloe out to get laid with other men.

[Rachet]

Poor lex hope he gets over that shock quickly

[somethingeasy]

Chapter Fifty

Omigosh!! Lex got a dog?!? He got THE dog that Chloe suggested waaaaay back in the chapters of yesteryear! He got a nice mid-sized dog that can make noise and bring some life to his vast, lonely apartment. I LOVE IT!! Seriosuly, it’s wonderful to see Lex taking care of a dog. It’s not just the fact that it’s darned cute imagining Lex caring for a pet, but it’s also an excellent indication that Lex has made some effort into moving on from past tragedies and learning to enjoy life again… even if it is just enjoying life vicariously through his pet.

Hmmmm… but besides getting himself a pet companion, it doesn’t seem like Lex is doing too well emotionally, socially, personally or psychologically. He still appears to be mostly guilt-ridden and isolated… still obsessing about everything that he still ‘owes’ to Chloe, and seems mostly focused on running him like the perfect little business-running automaton, rather than a complete person. Heh… and I found it interesting that Lex’s obsessive focus on maintaining his business is ALSO all about Chloe… making sure that he maintains all the resources that is required to keep Chloe safe and comfortable, for the remainder of her life is necessary.

It was amusing, embarrassing and sad seeing how, even after, presumably, several years, Lex is STILL so damned nervous and jittery when it comes to Chloe. I really enjoyed seeing his preparations for Chloe’s visit. I wouldn’t call it ‘first date jitters’ exactly, but it WAS something akin to the panic that middle-schoolers feel when confronted with their first major school dance. All that over-prepared anxiety; all that obsessive concern about everything that could go wrong; not to mention that overwhelming fear of rejection.

Only, in Lex’s case, quite a lot of those anxieties and fears were actually NOT exaggerated. There actually was a chance that Chloe might be coming over for the sole reason to vent and scream, and perhaps even attack. It would be VERY difficult for Lex to predict what Chloe wanted, much less how she’d act once she’s face to face with him.

LOL! And, as it turned out, Lex came nowhere close to predicting what Chloe wanted, much less what she was going to say. I could only imagine how Lex’s deep rooted sense of guilt turned into shock, and perhaps appalled horror, when he heard how Chloe’s understandable wariness of sex and men has now evolved into an obsessive lust for HIM, lol! Poor Lex. I also liked how Chloe stated her needs in an almost offensive turn of phrases, making Lex into less of a person, and more of a therapeutic sex toy, lol! She made it quite clear that she wasn’t really looking at Lex as a potential partner, but more like some like of therapeutic tool or hurdle that she has to cross before being able to find a real boyfriend.

I did highly approve of the fact that Chloe did NOT come to the apartment with some inflated sense of entitlement and just expect Lex to immediately drop his trousers the moment she said she wanted sex. She knew that he needed some cajoling and reassurance first. LOL! But I did find it amusing, but still fitting, that any cajoling and reassurance that’s to come is not going to come to usual way, through flirtation and seduction… but actually through the professional opinion on Chloe therapist, lol! Loved it. I look forward to the next chapter. I assume it’s going to comprise mostly of a conversation between Lex and Chloe’s doctor? Will Chloe herself be present during that conversation, or is she going to trust Lex and her doctor to has things out together without her?

Please do update soon, Nonky!

[tatie87]

The image of Lex with a dog is just shocking. I think it shows a lot of growth that he changed his life for the pooch. I'm very curious to see how Lex will handle and copy with Chloe's idea.

[Kit Merlot]

I love the idea of Lex Luthor's being the owner of a dog--too cute! And I think it's definitely an improvement that Chloe's able to talk to Lex about wanting a future that involved a husband and kids--she's working hard not to be damaged byt Lionel's attack on her and I give her so much credit. Now Lex just needs to calm down and listen to her--keep up the gorgeous work on this fic

[trinna]

Thanks for the update.

[kitten]

Chapter Fifty-one


Lex tried to ignore unpleasant memories as he walked toward Dr. Concord's office. He had taken Chloe's next after-hours appointment, traveling in secret from his office. Every few steps he caught an echo of the hours he'd waited while Chloe's abused body was repaired. He remembered the sour-stale taste of coffee on his breath, just edging out the scent of blood nothing seemed to cover.

She came back here regularly, he thought miserably. Chloe was strong enough to walk through this office hundreds of times since then. I don't get to spare myself.

Dr. Concord greeted him at her office door, warmly but without touching. Lex nodded politely but didn't offer his hand. He was fighting a superstition that he could step lightly and affect nothing, somehow arriving at the end of this new torture free to go back to his few comforts.

"Hello."

"Have a seat, please," the doctor invited. "How have you been?"

"Better than the last time we saw each other," Lex said wryly. "It was a long time sorting things out after my father died."

She nodded, smoothly and without pity. "I understand. It was good of you to continue paying Chloe's medical expenses. I confess to feeling out of my depth a lot of the time, but I'm not sure she would have accepted a new doctor. I know Chloe is grateful for your help."

Lex couldn't hide a snarl of expression as the irony hit him. She was so grateful she was trying to take away the little peace he'd been able to salvage.

"Apparently she's so grateful she's turned on. Did you suggest this for Chloe?"

Letting her notebook fall to her lap, Dr. Concord leaned forward, shaking her head. "No, I actually tried to get her to transfer the . . . thoughts of you to someone closer to her own age who might be able to earn her trust without so many unfortunate past events. A new man might become a real possibility as a boyfriend. She pushed back. She doesn't want to use an unsuspecting guy as training wheels. I think it's more she's used to the idea of asking for your help. You know her history, you'll be gentle with her."

He didn't feel gentle. There was a literal fever of rage when he thought about Chloe putting him on the spot, requesting his body without any consideration for the tangle it would create in his mind. Lex had just - two years later - found a way to cope with his own actions throughout her ordeal.

"Do you comprehend what this is asking of me," he said hoarsely.

"I do. You had to go through a lot of the trauma personally, and then you witnessed it through Chloe. You had to find a way to grieve while hating your father's actions. Honestly? I don't want to discourage you, but the things you and Chloe fought together are the kinds of traumas that never really stop being an issue," Dr. Concord said slowly.

Lex stood up, holding onto the back of the chair. "Well . . . That is great news. I'm really glad to hear it."

He hadn't expected her expert opinion to be that it was hopeless. A headache was forming, every part of his brain fighting him with logic and self-preservation. He had wanted to save Chloe so badly, perhaps he was deluding himself about the possibility. It had taken all his coping skills to get himself through, and Lex felt his endurance had worn thinner from the effort.

"No, please, there is a point I'm trying to make," Dr. Concord said mildly. "I think you and Chloe bonded over those experiences. It was unintentional. Maybe it would be better for both of you to keep your distance, but I'm not sure it would work. Chloe dwells on you, a lot. She let go of anger very quickly, but she still thinks about you. I'm not sure any other person is as real to her. Your showing up today tells me you probably feel a similar . . . connection."

Hopelessness overwhelmed him, and Lex sank down into the chair with his elbows jabbing his knees. His head hurt, a low ache of frustration.

"I want Chloe to be okay," he said, exhausted. "I don't know how sex fits in, and I can't approach it like a casual favour. I don't know how to be close to her without feeling close to her."

Dr. Concord furrowed her brow. "I don't see the problem."

Lex looked at her, blinking tiredly. "I'm getting the idea Chloe didn't give me a very clear picture of your suggestion. Why don't you give me the short version?"

"I think Chloe has only ever experienced sex and emotional intimacy with you. Any other experience has been violent and horrifying. If she wants to embrace her sexuality and ability to love, it's obvious she starts where she has some basis. I think this will, at the very least, give you both a chance to gain closure. Or it might lead to something permanent, though I don't think a lifelong commitment should be the finish line for any couple."

His headache was only getting worse. "A couple? Your suggestion was for Chloe to date me?"

Now the doctor looked confused. "Did she give you a different impression?"

Lex leaned back and forced his hands down from his throbbing forehead. "You know, I'm not even sure what she was telling me. I took it to mean she'd be having sex with me in preparation for dating other men later. That was about the time my blood pressure spiked and I couldn't listen to another word."

Suppressing a smile, the doctor said, "I can see why you were insulted. I'm quite certain Chloe didn't mean to use you for sex quite so cold-bloodedly. I would never condone that as a means to sexual empowerment for anyone. It's not real if you have to take that power away from someone else."

He placed his arms very carefully on the arms of his chair. "I don't know what she needs. I'm not a good person to lean on. When I try to date it usually ends up with another woman giving up on me. I've been told I'm not a very . . . giving boyfriend."

His failures had been printed on gossip pages for a dozen years, complete with direct quotes from the women scorned. He'd never deliberately neglected or insulted them, but he'd rejected the ones who demanded his feelings be handed over like hostages. His tokens of affection had been, largely, tokens without anything behind them to build upon.

"I don't know enough about those relationships to say," the doctor said tactfully. He was grateful he'd found someone in Metropolis who didn't follow Luthor gossip.

"I can venture you're more generous than you think. Chloe chose you with a clear mind. She had two years to put you out of her life entirely and she decided to ask you closer. You seem to genuinely care about her welfare, or you wouldn't be at this very inappropriate meeting with her unlicensed therapist," she smiled ruefully. "This is out of the ordinary, but so are you. So is Chloe. Ordinary situations have predictable solutions, and your connection is more adventurous."

He didn't feel adventurous. Lex felt old and nervous. He was also startled to realize he'd been celibate for months; glad to avoid the complications of sex even as he suffered moderately without it. He had never had a relationship where he felt on the same level of understanding as his girlfriend. He was always playing the role of devotion instead of following his inclinations toward fondness and favour naturally.

"I don't know if I can do what she's asking," he said quietly, shaking his head. "I wanted to help her before and couldn't. I don't want to break another promise."

"I think your willingness to try was what allowed her to forgive you," Dr. Concord said plainly. "Chloe was angry, sometimes at you. It took a while for her to get enough peace with it to see the big picture. She says you did your best then, and I think if you do your best now she'll understand if it doesn't work out the way she wants. But, with every respect for all the suffering you both went through, I don't think it could cause more pain than it heals."

Maybe his trepidation was selfish. Lex didn't want to deny help if he could really do this for Chloe. He wanted her to be well, even if he didn't follow all of the reasons for her including him in the process. It wasn't as if they'd never had sex. The circumstances would require a thousand times more care than his usual short relationships. He had to take it seriously, because Chloe was the opposite of a casual woman. Every word and deed would have to be the result of careful reading of a taut emotional situation.

"I think it says a lot about my outlook that I'm soothed by the idea of having little to lose," he said ironically. "I'm willing to try dating Chloe, if that's what she wants. However far it goes physically will depend on her. For my part, I'm going to need some time before I can comprehend adding sex to it."

A glimmer of amusement lightened Dr. Concord's gaze and a dimple appeared in her cheek. "I'm sure Chloe will respect that."

He blinked and leaned forward, rubbing his knees. "Or at least she won't make fun of me for balking like an eighteenth century virgin? One can only hope."

"She'll appreciate you acting like a gentleman."

Before he'd hurt Chloe, he'd never known he wasn't one. It had been a long, untutored travail to figure out what men with decent fathers had learned in childhood. Lex didn't want to test his chivalry on Chloe, but turning her down felt wrong.

"I will do my best," he told Dr. Concord, very conscious it had the ring of a vow in the quiet office.