Shameless Upon Waking, NC-17

**autumngold** · 3rd December 2004, 06:05

Wow!! I am so loving this story!!

I'm so glad that Chloe was able to make Lex face the truth!! :worship2: Also, I love how you show Lex and Chloe's relationship!! Can't wait to read more!! :yay: :chlexsign3: :yay:

**Kit Merlot** · 3rd December 2004, 14:57

I love that Chloe refuses to give up on Lex--GOOD FOR HER :biggrin:

More please :chlexsign2:

**kitten** · 10th December 2004, 04:56

Shameless Upon Waking
NC-17 Fanfiction

SPOILER WARNING: Spoilers up to Scare in Season 4.

Disclaimer: Smallville, the characters therein, and all affiliated copyrighted materials are owned by the WB. This is a work of fanfiction not intended for profit or infringement, only for the pleasure of fans of the series.

A/N: Sorry the update took so long, but there are only two more chapters to go on this one.

Chapter Four

He missed her when he had to work overtime at the plant. He missed her even more when he had to juggle two separate companies with conflicting interests. He missed her when he was surrounded by toadies and corporate minions. He missed her when he walked into The Talon and she wasn’t there. The majority of his emotions lately were wrapped up in wanting her near.

All those disappointing moments became repressed inside him as he carried on with his day, blank-faced and reserved. He wasn’t going to allow people to see the chinks in his armour. No one except Chloe deserved to know him that well.

Unfortunately that repression sometimes blew up in their few moments alone together, ruining the time they should be doing the fun dating things she was missing out on. It was one thing to have an older boyfriend, but Lex knew she suffered from an unprecedented level of neglect. Not only was he an unromantic workaholic, he was also an emotionally crippled man with a string of failed relationships and one-night stands.

She deserved a better man without his decades of baggage, but he couldn’t let her go. From the way she was staring at his paper-strewn desk, she wasn’t letting him go either.

“Why are you doing paperwork on your night off?”

“I’ll just finish this one set of documents, it won’t take a minute,” he said, looking at her distractedly. Her arms crossed and the lush curve of her lower lip flattened into a frown.

“I didn’t come here to see Lex Luthor, crown prince of corporate America. I’m here to get freaky with my boyfriend, Lex. You might know him; he looks just like you but he’s not a robot, and he doesn’t treat me like a piece of office furniture,” she said.

She hated to see him closed off and shut down. Work made him cold to everything, numb and inhuman. Some days it felt almost wrong to try and thaw him out when he constantly fell back on the same coping mechanism. She wondered if it was even her place to be demanding.

Lex sighed and put down his pen. “I have responsibilities, Chloe, I’m sorry. I will be finished in a minute and then we can continue with our evening.”

Chloe bit her lip over tears that she hated to cry. She didn’t want to become one of those hopeless women who wanted to work on him like renovating a spare bedroom. He didn’t need to be fixed and he didn’t mean to be cruel.

She walked over to the sofa and sat down, keeping her purse in her hand. She didn’t feel like making herself at home without his invitation to do so.

Lex finished his signatures and glanced at his blond companion. She looked dejected and guilt struck him.

He resented people who talked about knowing yourself as if it were half of the battle in becoming an entirely different person. It had never helped him to know he was Lionel Luthor’s son and heir and he wasn’t going to submit to behaviour modification like a dog. What he was wouldn’t go away for a biscuit and a pat on the head and he resented the implication that he was lax in not falling in line with pop psychology. He was what he needed to be sometimes, and giving it up would make him vulnerable.

“I don’t mean to be unfeeling,” he said, sitting beside Chloe. She didn’t look at him and he struggled for a way to express his frustration. “I need to be on top of things at LuthorCorp. It’s the only way I can repair the damage my father has done.”

He was a good man, a moral man and it was going to make him a martyr before he was thirty. She didn’t know if it was overstepping her bounds or not, but she had to say what she thought.

“I would much rather look back on my life to see I had one, than to look back and see a lengthy and obsequious encyclopedia article on my greatness in the public sphere. VIP or not, under normal circumstances you and I will outlive Lionel by half a century. You might want to think about a life path that goes beyond ‘screw you, Dad.’”

Lex propped his elbows on his knees and grimaced.

“I have to do this, Chloe. I have to, and I can’t afford to wear my heart on my sleeve,” he said.

Her hand came to rest on one of his, and he held it. She was cold from being outdoors and he blew warm air into their cupped hands.

“I know you have to be strong, and in your professional life I support whatever you feel you have to do,” she said, turning toward him. “But in your personal life you have to let out what you lock up during business hours. It’s the only way you’re going to make people see you as the caring human being you are.”

He lay back on the sofa and shook his head humourously.

“Why aren’t you afraid of me? I growl and grumble at you more than anyone else,” he said. “I’m not so good in bed for you to ignore my intrinsic lack of cheer.”

It was her invitation to make herself at home, finally, and Chloe put her purse on the floor and shrugged out of her jacket.

“You don’t fool me, Lex. You might be standing around wearing only a condom and boxing gloves, but you’re a lover more than a fighter.”

She folded herself down onto his chest and relaxed as his hands ruffled her hair.

“Run that by me again?”

“The world at large runs on clichés and prejudices, and you defy most of them. If you went evil and started burning down orphanages people would know how to pigeonhole you, but you’re variable with the situation and it pisses them off. You put them off balance and that’s why they dislike you,” she said, unbuttoning his shirt. “People don’t like to be confused by motivations. It makes them reluctant to accept both negative and positive actions.”

He laughed and pulled her up his body. “You’ve never had any trouble putting me in my place.”

Her eyes met his and Chloe looked into the warm blue complexity. This was her Lex, and she knew he was real. She knew it because she felt it with him.

“I’m not going to tell you ‘I love you,’” she said, blurting it out as his mouth inched toward her.

“I didn’t-”

Lex tried to cover the panic he felt. She wasn’t cruel like the others, there was a reason she was saying it. He waited and tried to appear calm without going blank.

“It doesn’t matter whether you expected to hear it or not, because eventually everyone expects it. Human, remember? You can’t fool me.”

Her hands were still on his chest and she tried not to notice his fast heartbeat. She’d hurt him without meaning to and he was fighting the urge to pull away. It meant a lot that he was fighting. He wouldn’t have been able to resist six months ago and probably wouldn’t have tried.

“’I love you’ are the magic words with you and you’re going to associate them with getting screwed over until you start to believe otherwise. You’re smarter than that,” she said gently. “You know intellectually that love isn’t about saying it at a dramatic moment in front of a blazing fireplace over champagne to a swell of orchestral music. It’s about proving it when the person you love is being nothing but difficult and hurtful.”

It’s about making you believe, she thought as his arms tightened around her, and maybe I’ll be able to.

**hfce** · 10th December 2004, 05:21

That was great. I loved it.

Hope :chlexsign4:

**autumngold** · 10th December 2004, 06:33

I'm so glad that you updated!! I love how Lex and Chloe are making their relationship work!! Post again soon please!! :yay2: :chlexsign4: :yay2:

**sydsvaughn** · 10th December 2004, 07:48

this was lovely ... and so well written... more soon please!

SaraC

**lexchloe** · 10th December 2004, 10:42

That was lovely. I love how well Chloe understands him and that she won't give up on him when a lesser woman probably would. Can't wait for more.

**Kit Merlot** · 10th December 2004, 16:08

Excellent! Chloe intuitively understands Lex, and how hurt he is when people think the worst of him.

This is a beautiful story :biggrin:

**Zannie** · 10th December 2004, 17:26

I'm not sure how I missed the first three chapters of this, but, wow . . . really, really good. I love your insights into Lex in this one.

I particularly loved this . . .

the smirking corner that always lifted up in amusement about two seconds before the other corner could catch up

and this . . .

He acknowledged silently that it always came down to being cold and guilty in the dark for him anyway

and this . . .

She’d hurt him without meaning to and he was fighting the urge to pull away. It meant a lot that he was fighting. He wouldn’t have been able to resist six months ago and probably wouldn’t have tried.

Looking forward to more.