This is my attempt at a bit of angst. This is the first part and is set in the near future. I think there will be one other part. I've based some of it on some spoilers I've heard for the last few episodes but not much really. Just some plot points (none of the Chlex stuff!!!
Anyway, constructive criticism is really appreciated since I have a really good handle on this in my head but I'm not sure how well its come out on paper.
Disclaimer: None of this is mine
She didn’t know how this had happened. She tries to think back to this time last year and think where she was. Feel where she was. She can’t seem to feel how she was back then. Only now, always now.
All she could do was think back to when this started. Whatever this is.
It had started with her testifying against Lionel Luthor. No. It had started with her involvement with Lionel Luthor. Through Lionel Luthor she had come to the attention of the son. In her moment of weakness she had allied herself, however briefly/reluctantly and with the best intentions with Lionel. That had sealed more than her fate.
Lex had felt some sort of responsibility to her after she testified.
Before the trial, before everything, Clark had come to her saying that Lex was getting in a panic at not having enough information to give the feds to convict Lionel. At that time she had told no-one of the erased confession. She remembered entering the manor, the first time since Lex’s confession to her whilst under the truth spell. He had stood up and walked round to greet her. Again holding her arms. A gesture that seemed to be on its way to becoming a habit.
She knew that she was doing the right thing by coming to Lex with this information yet she also knew that this dangerous game she was playing was reaching another level. She had told him calmly of Lionel’s confession to her and its subsequent erasure. She remembered being quietly touched that he had suggested that she think carefully about what she wanted to do. To testify or not to testify, she thought with amusement now. She had already made up her mind before stepping into the manor. Clark had applied not too subtle pressure on her telling her in not so many words that she was Lex’s only hope. However there was a part of her, a real big part of her that was itching to give it to Lionel and give it to him good.
She walked over to her desk from her bedroom window and took a sip of the flat coke that was sitting there. Looking over to the figure sleeping in her bed she felt a shiver pass through her. A premonition. A warning. She was worried for him. She was worried for herself. The comfort and solace and maybe more of the past few hours slowly dissipating into a feeling of things to come.
She remembered the expected exhilaration of testifying in front of everyone on what a truly heartless bastard Lionel was turning into regret that she had to do this in front of Lex. That however tightly fixed his mask was, he was still a son sending his father down. He was still a son listening to the misdeeds of his father. And she was doing the telling of the greatest one. Lionel killing his parents. The look of something, not fear, in Lex’s eyes. She knew now what he must have been thinking. Are we doomed to repeat the sins of our fathers? At the time she was nervous and nauseous and wanted the whole thing to be over. Recently she had had the luxury of time. Endless time to think about what had happened.
Stepping off the stand she had been sick with fear. She had looked at Lionel and had been in no doubt that if he was given the opportunity he would gladly kill her with is own hands. She looked briefly at Lex before walking out. They exchanged an invisible nod of understanding. She had joined her father and gone home. Leaving the Luthors to their madness. She had felt none of the release that others talk about with getting things out in the open. The truth did not set her free, rather bound her up in its complex web and she felt no more safe than she did before testifying. She was sure Lionel would extract his revenge somehow. She was in constant fear for her father.
Sitting at the desk her mind went back to a couple of hours ago. It wasn’t a pity fuck. She was sure of it. She had noticed the signs for a couple of weeks now. They had been getting closer through some informal investigating she was doing for him. Yet, the last 24 hours had thrown everything into sharp focus and Lionel’s death had brought them together. In more ways than one.
A few weeks after the trial she had gotten a call from Lex asking her to come to the manor. She was bored and curious. Bored sitting at home and curious to see Lex again. After Lionel had been sent down for life he had become a little reclusive. Only really meeting with Clark and Lana. She had seen him a couple of times at the Talon but had exited when he had entered. There was something about Lex since the trial that raised the hairs on her neck. In a good and a bad way. She had long ago admitted to the fact that he was gorgeous but no amount of eye candy could compensate for a messed up head. And his head was seriously messed up. That was the good way. The bad way was a feeling that he was slowly closing himself off from everything and everywhere and that that way lay only pain and misery. She had thought she was being melodramatic but after the last few hours she wondered whether she hadn’t been dramatic enough.
Whilst in her voluntary exile at home after the trial she had started looking into Morgan Edge. It was mainly for her own amusement and she didn’t seriously expect to find anything. After Lionel’s incarceration she needed another resident evil to focus her attention on. Morgan Edge was suitably evil and suitably unattainable. No chance of having to testify to send him down. She could go back to being the 17 year old high school reporter that she had been before all this had happened.
Walking into Lex’s place after her summoning from him she had felt none of the unease that had characterised her previous visits. The benefits of Lionel Luthor being locked away just kept coming and coming. She remembered having a feeling in the pit of her stomach, a feeling she couldn’t place at the time but which she now recognised to be the first stirrings of desire. She had walked into his office and started snarking on him confidently. He had seemed appreciative of the effort she was making in returning their acquaintance to one of casual sniping and idle threats instead of the one it had become of subterfuge, strategies and courtroom testimonies. She couldn’t remember exactly what it was that she had said, but she was sure it was brilliantly funny.
He had offered her the opportunity of making her research into Morgan Edge more official than the current rolling out of bed, sitting in her pyjamas and surfing the web she had been doing recently. It was as unofficial as an official agreement could get. He just wanted to know anything interesting that she found out. No pressure. And she believed him. Even then, she was worried about what this could mean. There was only one reason for his renewed interest in Morgan Edge and vengeance was thy name. She felt that Lex had enough vengeance in his life to fill an epic poem. She didn’t want to give him ammunition for more. Yet she agreed. She wanted to have some continued contact with him. They way Lionel had subtly terrorised her, especially when he knew she would be testifying, Lex was the only one who could understand.
So they had developed a tentative friendship/alliance. It was professional save for the usual banter which seemed to have been toned down since the trial. It was difficult to be flippant after everything. Especially now. Everything seemed to be just a little more sombre. Even with Clark and Lana. She yearned for the dramas of a few years ago, for the love triangle, for anything. Instead they had all grown up so quickly. Clark and Lex’s friendship was still secure but slowly straining. She could see this where they could not, would not. Both were quietly retreating into their shells. Lana, after her failed trip to Paris was straining at the leash. Her and Clark were tentatively together but it was fragile. Everything was so fragile. She was still her same old self on the outside and most of the inside, but the trial had taken its toll. That and the constant fear. Where she had never been afraid she was afraid always.
This arrangement between herself and Lex went on in much the same way for a couple of months and she did indeed find the odd gem in the volume of dross she sifted through. Yet she came to see the arrangement as a front. As a way for her and Lex to maintain the contact they both needed. He never spoke of Lionel but she was sure he thought about him always. She remembered word for word the first time they kissed, it was after the first and only time he visited Lionel in prison.
She was sitting in front of the TV debating whether to buy the tapes of an inspirational speaker. “Change your life in 7 days”. Tempting. Rolling along the floor towards the ice cream she heard the doorbell. Looking down at her “attire” of yellow pyjamas and just got out of bed and not in the good way hair she hesitated for a second before going towards the door. When it came down to it, at this moment in time, she really didn’t give a shit.
Lex peered in at her as she opened the door. “Control yourself there Lex, with so much beauty in front of you, you may lose yourself.” Self deprecation was good, she thought.
Lex merely raised an eyebrow and walked in. “Any new info on Morgan?”
Chloe looked at him sceptically, “You paid me a house call to ask me that?”
“Yes. I haven’t said anything Chloe but you’ve been kind of slack with information over the past few weeks. More effort may be in order.”
“What’s really going on?” Chloe replied pissed. “You know as well as I know that if I’m finding it difficult to find anything it’s because there is very little to be found.”
Lex looked at her for a long moment before sitting down. His shoulders slumped slightly. Chloe, concerned now, sat beside him. She could see him weigh up his options. After a while he started;
“I saw my father today. He just pushed all my buttons I guess.” Lex looked over to her. Chloe tried to keep the surprise from her face.
“You really are a glutton for punishment aren’t you?” she said not unkindly.
Lex smirked but then went quiet again. “Did he seem to have reined in any of his homicidal tendencies?” she asked only half joking. Lex knew of her fear of what Lionel could do to her and her father. He shook his head silently. They sat there silently for awhile before Chloe got up and put a video in the player.
At Lex’s questioning look she clarified, “It’s the Fabulous Baker Boys. Its one of my favourites. Let’s just forget about slightly below par fathers and ominous death threats and lose ourselves in easy listening jazz and Jeff Bridges. Or Michelle Pfeiffer in your case.”
“I find jazz a little dangerous” Lex said softly.
“Me too.” Chloe replied understanding him completely, “but in a nice way.”
It was the watching in silence that did it. Watching the Fabulous Baker Boys in silence with a friend/acquaintance/tortured gorgeous man is a bad thing. She felt herself relaxing more and more and she could see that even Lex had chilled out a bit. The easy jazz was wafting over her, it was getting dark outside, the piano scene had come and gone, and she reached over him to grab at the controls. She got a little too close, invading a little too much personal space. They were both a little tired, not fully lucid. All of this was true. She was also feeling an attraction to him that was startling her and he was vulnerable otherwise she was sure that nothing would have happened. He gently touched her hair all the time looking at her lips. She could feel her lids becoming heavy and then there was just softness.
A little while later.
Drawing back she looked at him. A split second of honest emotion before they both got up. Chloe spoke first, sparing Lex the need to do so.
“Don’t look so worried Lex. It’s dark outside, there’s jazz playing. It doesn’t mean anything. A moment of weakness. I get it. I feel the same way.” She paused, “Please don’t look so worried.”
Lex looked at her, his face unreadable. Walking to the door, he turned towards her.
“Thank you” he said before his eyes clouded over and thoughts of Lionel slowly seeped back in.
“Keep digging Chloe.”
Giving a short strained smile in reply she shut the door.
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