The Billionaire Muggings
Smallville PG-13 Fanfiction
SPOILER WARNING: Spoilers abound, up to the current episode in U.S./Canadian release.
Disclaimer: Smallville, the characters therein, and all affiliated copyrighted materials are owned by the WB. This is a work of fanfiction not intended for profit or infringement, only for the pleasure of fans of the series.
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A/N: Just a funny idea I had with the clash of reporter and billionaire. I’m not sure how much I’ll get out of it before I run out of steam, but I’ll work on a few more chapters.
The Billionaire Muggings
Chloe Sullivan tossed the strap of her messenger bag over her shoulder, stepping gracefully out of her car. She slammed the door shut, moving around to the trunk, all the while glancing into the dark corners of the parking lot.
“Good a place as any,” she muttered to herself. The trunk swung up under her coaxing and she reached inside to pull out a large box. Flat and rectangular, it could hold myriad things, but the men watching her from the shadows of a doorway didn’t have to guess. She placed it on the dome of the car and lifted off the cover, revealing a swath of tissue paper.
The swish of silk brushed over his spine as Chloe lifted a scrap of material from the box. She seemed to enjoy it, letting the sapphire blue fabric pool in her hands. Giving it a single shake, she lowered it gently back into the box and dropped her bag to the ground. She had shrugged out of her jacket before her audience could wonder what she was doing. The jacket got draped over the car as well, and she gave them a spectacular view of her ass as she bent over and retrieved something from her bag.
Taking another look around her, Chloe rubbed her bare arms. There’s no one there, she chided herself, get to work.
Her fingers were just wrapping underneath the hem of her shirt when a hand touched her back, sending a yelp echoing from her mouth into the night. She stepped sideways and tried to keep track of its owner as she put some distance between her back and the car, spinning around. As long as she wasn’t being held or cornered she had a chance.
So stupid to be here at night, I’m gonna get killed for being stupid.
Chloe sucked in a deep breath to scream, but stopped when her eyes hit Lex Luthor, his hands extended soothingly toward her.
“What do you think you’re doing?” The loud question might as well have been hers but it was delivered in the patented haughty tone only a Luthor could truly get away with.
Her eyes widened, then narrowed dangerously. Bratty rich boy didn’t work on Chloe Sullivan.
“I’m parking in a parking lot, in order to patronize one of your places of business,” she said, pointing over his shoulder to the Talon. “What do you think you’re doing?”
Her hands jutted out on her hips, the posture of female indignation. Lex could almost hear the words in his head: Did you take out the trash yet? Are you saying I look fat? Were you looking at that girl?
He smirked, deliberately angering her so that the other two men could circle behind. If she suspected anything before they could get into position this would never work.
“I just wanted to offer my arm and walk you to the door,” he said. “I’m having better lighting installed over the weekend, but it would be a shame if a mishap should occur here in the interim.”
Riiight, Chloe thought. You’re personally running security in the back parking lot for a coffee shop just as I arrive.
“Don’t you have a party be throwing?” She leaned back on the car, crossing her arms in front of her chest, smug.
Bet you didn’t know I knew about that.
His reaction was a bit of a let down, considering he didn’t even bother to finish the shrug he gave her.
“My staff is able to handle the party until I get there. People are usually vying to arrive fashionably late anyway.”
Chloe knew, in fact she’d been counting on it. She had reached the limits of her patience waiting for him to confide in her, and had given up any hope it would happen without a push. She was going to push him, provided she could get rid of him now.
“Well, I actually don’t need an escort. I can defend myself and it’s not like I’m currently anyone’s target,” she said, ignoring his frown. “Thanks all the same.”
She turned her back to him, knowing it irritated him and enjoying it in a childish way. I don’t have time for this, I still have to get dressed.
Lex stepped up to the car, looking into the dress box and lifting a segment of silk out into the light. He let it slide back down and looked to the woman beside him. She still hadn’t spotted the two bodyguards.
“I would have preferred green with your colouring. It would match your eyes,” he said, his mocking tone somehow complimentary as well.
He paused and continued. “More like this colour, actually.”
Lex tugged on the item in her hand and Chloe felt her face blaze with embarrassment. She had been hoping he hadn’t seen that she was about to take off her shirt. But now he was fingering the push-up bra in her hand and it was pretty clear she was caught.
“Hmmmmm . . .” she sighed. “Fine. You got me. I was going to do some research while you were at your party tonight. I figured I could slip in with the later arrivals.”
Lex smiled. Stubborn as she was, Chloe was always reasonable when she was confronted. He leaned back against the car with her.
“Don’t be too disappointed. I think I would have noticed you there anyway, so we’d just be having this discussion an hour from now,” he said, tilting his head to look at her.
“I had a plan,” she answered, insulted. “The bra is a push-up, the heels are dangerously high and there’s a brunette wig on the backseat. I would have blended in perfectly.”
Lex snickered, amused by her enthusiasm and by the possibilities of her plan if he had let her go through with it. Any brunette woman with a body like Chloe’s who arrived at the party without an invitation would be assumed to be that night’s companion and shown to his bedroom to wait for him. The idea wasn’t at all unattractive for him, but it wouldn’t have done much to get Chloe the information she was looking for.
Unless she could work it out of me, he thought.
Shaking off the hormone surge, Lex stood and took a few steps away from the car. His hand gave the twitch of fingers that was the signal and he grabbed Chloe’s hands before she could move.
“Sorry. Better luck next time.”
The two huge men came out of nowhere and Chloe felt apprehensive. Ever since she had offered her help against Lionel, Lex had gotten bossy. Protective bossy, but still cramping her style. More worrying was that her father seemed to be accepting of most of Lex’s ideas to improve her security, no matter how much she argued.
“Hey!” The men were gathering up the dress, rifling through her bag and taking out her car keys. Unlocking the door, one of them reached in and took out the boxes with the wig and the shoes. Glancing at his employer, the same man pried the bra out of her fingers, carefully avoiding skin contact.
“Dammit, Lex! If you spent half as much time working on world peace as you do pushing me around ‘for my own good’ you’d have us all living in harmony in no time.”
Chloe fought to get her hands free but it was hopeless. The two goons, who looked like extras rejected from The Godfather for being too cliched, held the parts of her disguise in meaty hands. Even if she managed to get her hands free she would need a step ladder to try to get her stuff back.
“Out of curiousity, why did you decide to change in the dark and secluded parking lot that no one uses instead of at home? If you were that desperate for coffee I think you have a problem.”
He is so dead, she thought. Or at least disgraced.
Chloe rolled her eyes and glared at the bane of her existence.
“I was going to try the disguise on Martha to see if it was convincing. I think she would have caught on if I went into the ladies’ room and a stacked brunette came out a few minutes later. She’s not Clark,” she said, unable to resist the jab.
Lex nodded, still amused. “This gentleman will be driving you home in my car and yours will be delivered to you early tomorrow morning.”
One of the goons had handed off his packages to the other and was standing passively. Apparently they were used to accosting innocent young women on Lex’s orders.
He freed her hands and turned away, and Chloe had the demented urge to strangle him from behind. She grabbed her bag from the ground and clenched her fists around it.
I won’t say it, it will just make him laugh, I won’t say-
“I’ll get you for this Luthor!” She yelled the words with all the fury of her frustrated journalistic impulses behind it, but unfortunately he did exactly what she had known he would.
As Lex Luthor laughed his head off, Chloe resolved to make him very sorry he had messed with her. She watched him disappear into the dark with his goon and her bra and she swore vengeance.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++++
“So you’re saying Lex Luthor, the billionaire, stole your car?”
It was the third attempt at telling Pete the story, and Chloe was beginning to worry about her long distance bill. Also, he didn’t seem to be joining her rage as she had hoped. She wanted to bask in their joint hatred but he wasn’t playing along.
“And my wig and my push-up bra.” She said it with vehemence, adding, “And my fuck me pumps! I loved those shoes.”
She grumbled to herself, remembering how much notice those shoes always drew to her when she went to Metropolis or anywhere that wasn’t Smallville.
“Uhm, Chloe . . . “ Pete’s hesitant tone was irritating to the extreme and she could tell he didn’t believe her. Or if he did he wasn’t being supportive. Either way, he was getting yelled at, too.
“I’m not crazy. I’m not!”
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