Great fic!
Great fic!
It was really fun and sexy Thanks for a great fic!
Brilliant, simply brilliant although I do hope that they stop being able to read each other's thoughts soon as Gabe is right about their relationship.
Loved this story. Hope I can find the sequal.
*Coffee Break 9:00 to 5:00 Daily.
*Heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid I'll take over.
*Are you crazy?
*From zero to insane in 1.5 seconds!
*If I agree with you, then we'd both be wrong!
Ok... Let me just say... I CAN'T. I really can't.
I don't try to be mean here. I wanted to read this story - despite some obvious silly mistakes you made - because it was funny, but I gave up entirely.
this has very little sense to none.
I just point out a few things I notice as far as I read, because I truly can't rtead any further.
1) You don't get an orgasm from dirty thoughts/fantasies. you need a hand for that
2) You don't graze against you best friend and have an orgasm. Even Lex wouldn't just use Chloe and Clark like that
3) You don't HAVE YOUR FIRST TIME IN A LIMO ON A SIDEROAD. Chloe is a respectable young woman. And you just made her lose her virginity like at the back ofd some bar to a stranger. she would never ever act like this after flirting with the guy for barely a day, especially when it was her first time
4) YOU DON;T BLEED SO MUCH AFTER losing your virginity. You spot, more or less heavily but it stops once the hymen is broken and you don't bleed later on! You made it seem like Chloe has a misscariage or an abortion. Or she forgot she was going to have a period.
that what I gathered so far and I refuse to read any more of bullshit.
Once again, I;m not trying to insult you. I am a writer myself and I see how many terrible mistakes I made once. But I listen to a constructive ctritique so I can make myself better in the future. Guess what? I already am.
Last edited by TrinityR; 3rd November 2014 at 22:05.
I'm enjoying reading this funny and entertaining fic, the story itself even though not real but enjoyable to read and i couldn't stop myself reading it until end. Even though clark is annoying and chloe rather weak with him but it still ok because from the year you've written it it's the season where chloe still pining her hope for the farmboy.
I really enjoyed reading this story. I would definitely read a sequel.
Good story i like the earlier ones
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