+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 7 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 67

Thread: Weakness (R), October 29th, 2008

  1. #1

    Weakness (R), October 29th, 2008

    Title: Weakness
    Rating: R (Not until chapter 3-ish)
    Spoilers: Onyx
    Summary: When Chloe decides to investigate LuthorCorp, she ends up with a big problem (alternate “Onyx,” Chloe’s split instead).
    A/N: Not sure if this has been done, but I’m assuming it has. Either way, this is my version of how the episode should’ve gone. It’ll be about eight chapters long, and I’ll try to post about once or twice a week. So, hopefully not too big of a commitment.
    Disclaimer: I own nothing. No, seriously.

    Reviews would make my day!

    ***

    Prologue


    “Are you sure you’ve corrected the problem, Dr. Sinclair?” Chloe Sullivan froze. The cool tone echoing from the room in front of her was unmistakable.

    “Absolutely, Mr. Luthor. The simulations have all been positive.” Leaning forward, Chloe got a glimpse of the sterile lab. “Increasing the thermal variance by 98% should eliminate the separation impurity.”

    Edging closer to the door, Chloe gulped. She’d been given a tip into a possible story, by one of her contacts in LuthorCorp; a very private meeting in lab 21B.

    “Six months of this and all you had to do was turn up the heat?”

    “It’s not that simple, Mr. Luthor. I mean, the composition of these meteor rocks is highly unusual. Calculating the exact temperature was a challenge.”

    She’d been standing outside of the lab doors for just under five minutes, listening to a conversation she couldn’t follow. Being able to see it helped, now able to understand the discussion.

    “One I hope you’re up to. If this works, I’ll leave a mark on the world no one will ever forget.” Chloe shifted another step closer, but stopped suddenly when her shoes echoed on the steel floor.

    “It won’t hurt your bank account, either.” She sighed in relief as they continued to talk, obviously not hearing the clank. Chloe watched as they donned safety goggles, and took another small step forward. Lex had shifted to the side, and her view was now slightly obstructed.

    The scientist, Dr. Sinclair, was sitting in front of the computer, now, and Chloe only heard bits of his commands. “Thermal output…” caused something to change, but she couldn’t see what.

    “Subject seeds exposed to radiation,” sounded out an electronic voice, and then a faint green glow changed to purple. A small fan turned on after, and Chloe could no longer hear anything.

    She glanced behind her nervously, before stepping through the open doors. The lab was blinding; gleaming fixtures even brighter because of the radiance.

    “Molecular activity is exceeding—“ the rest of the sentence was cut off as she took a step forward. Her shoe caught on a chair leg, sending her to the floor. The noise startled the two men, both turning around just as she landed on the ground.

    “Chloe? What are you—“ an urgent beeping interrupted him, the purple glow intensifying.

    Chloe scrambled to her feet, both embarrassed at her fall, and intrigued by the sparkling light.

    “What’s happening?” She heard Lex ask, taking a step closer to the meteor rock.

    “The temperature’s climbing past the target range!” The two voices filtered to the background as Chloe stared. She was inches from the glass confinement around it, now, and she felt her hand move involuntarily to rest on the smooth surface.

    “Turn it down!”

    “I’m trying to! I’m trying!”

    “Thermal levels exceeding safety parameters.” The even voice of the computer drew the attention of the men. Lex looked at the case, noticing Chloe’s proximity.

    “Chloe! Get out of here, both of you!” Lex pushed Dr. Sinclair forward, and he ran out the door. Lex started to follow, but noticed that Chloe was not coming. “Chloe!” He screamed, trying to get her attention, but to no avail.

    Lex pulled on her arm, and she shook her head, realizing what was happening. “Lex? Get out of here!” She pushed him forward, and he hit his head on the table in front of him. She tried to get to him, but before she could make it, a blinding purple light exploded, and Chloe felt something deep inside.

    Her body shook from the force, making her scream out. A second later it was over, and she dropped to the ground, overwhelmed. Lex turned to her, confusion, worry, and fear evident on his face.

    “Are you alright?” Chloe nodded numbly, confused about the last few minutes. “Here,” he extended his hand, helping her up. “We need to get you to a hospital.” Chloe nodded again, and Lex led her from the smoking, tattered lab.

    TBC...
    Last edited by wistfulwatcher; 29th October 2008 at 07:19.

  2. #2
    NS Full Member
    Join Date
    13 Jan 2004
    Location
    Cali
    Posts
    248

    Re: Weakness (R), August 9th, 2008

    Interesting start I don't think I've ever read a story about Chloe being split. Can't wait to read more soon.

  3. #3
    NS Full Member purplemoon123's Avatar
    Join Date
    28 Dec 2007
    Location
    California
    Posts
    591

    Re: Weakness (R), August 9th, 2008

    Interesting!!! I don't think I've seen a version of Onyx in which Chloe is the one being split. Can't wait to see how you split Chloe's personality into two.

  4. #4
    NS Full Member dagney's Avatar
    Join Date
    11 Feb 2007
    Posts
    684

    Re: Weakness (R), August 9th, 2008

    Oh I'm giggling and rubbing my hands, this plot looks to be promising, Dagney

  5. #5
    NS Full Member gecko's Avatar
    Join Date
    14 Sep 2005
    Age
    41
    Posts
    499

    Re: Weakness (R), August 9th, 2008

    very intriguing start, can't wait to see what happens next, great work!

  6. #6
    Spunky Chick Senior Member hfce's Avatar
    Join Date
    23 Nov 2002
    Location
    D.C.
    Posts
    9,538

    Re: Weakness (R), August 9th, 2008

    Great start more please...
    "Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. "

  7. #7
    Dealing w/ a Ship Change Senior Member
    Join Date
    25 Apr 2007
    Location
    Texas
    Age
    50
    Posts
    1,130

    Re: Weakness (R), August 9th, 2008

    This one sounds like a lot of fun. Looking forward to more of it.

  8. #8
    An Accused Heretic Senior Member Kit Merlot's Avatar
    Join Date
    12 May 2003
    Location
    Penn's Woods
    Posts
    4,701

    Re: Weakness (R), August 9th, 2008

    This is quite an interesting beginning--can't wait for more
    KATHY

    "Don't quote me to me!" Detective Danny "Danno" WIlliams, Hawaii Five-0, episode 1.8 Mana'o

    "This could barely fill up Thumbelina!" SALIGIA by westwingwolf

    My Fanfic Master List

    My livejournal: An Accused Heretic

  9. #9
    NS Full Member kcsgirl82's Avatar
    Join Date
    30 May 2005
    Location
    TN
    Posts
    380

    Re: Weakness (R), August 9th, 2008

    Two Chloes this is going to be awesome!!!
    Lex won't know what hit him.

  10. #10
    walking with cavemen Senior Member Zannie's Avatar
    Join Date
    16 Oct 2004
    Posts
    1,542

    Re: Weakness (R), August 9th, 2008

    Quote Originally Posted by wistfulwatcher View Post
    Chloe scrambled to her feet, both embarrassed at her fall, and intrigued by the sparkling light.
    It sounds random, but I love this line. Even though it's just part of the narrative, it seems to capture the two central aspects of Chloe's character. I can just see Chloe mesmerized by the "sparkling light."

    Sounds like a promising premise. And, strangely enough, I can't remember another fic that has done it already. But you need to beef up your updates. 7000 words at the mininum is my motto. Heheh. More please.

+ Reply to Thread

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts