A Dream of Angels (PG-13 to R)

[Catheryne]

A Dream of Angels

AN: I will be placing this story here first. This is the safest forum for it. I warn everyone though, that the story MAY contain angst. Also, some of you may have noticed that I have not posted a Chlex fic in a long time. It's getting harder to get the Muse and dear Time back. This fic will be regularly updated they won't be long updates.


Part 1


Her hands were trembling so heavily. Chloe could not remember a day when she felt as insignificant, even deadweight, as she did at that moment.

Everyone had congratulated her the day she announced her engagement to Lex. She had been so special that day and every day she was with him. That was the most beautiful Christmas of her life. Lex had invited her to return to Smallville with him. At first, she had been hesitant. She still needed to work on some of her papers. She was competing for one of the hottest seats in the Daily Planet, and one of her edges was an upcoming study on sensational journalism.

She had been on the fast track to a brilliant career as an international news analyst. Perry White had all but laid down the red carpet leading into the most admired halls of journalism in the country. And then after Lex’s few tender kisses and mumbled loving words, Chloe had decided to postpone her work and leave Metropolis with him.

He had asked to blindfold her. With more than a little reluctance, Chloe had agreed to have him lead her blindly into the manor.

Only to open her eyes to paradise.

The corridors were lighted by thousands of small candles that paved the way to one door. Chloe palms closed over her open mouth, eyes moist from the gesture, followed the lit path. Lex’s hand had remained on the small of her back. She had opened the door to his bedroom. She grinned at the thought that he had come to such trouble for a romantic private Christmas night.

The room shone golden because of candlelight. Chloe walked inside the room and stopped at the center, looking down at the small box in the middle of the bed. She had gasped and whirled around to see a sad smile on Lex’s face.

“God,” he had murmured, “I fully acknowledge that I am an ass for doing this right now. Chloe, I know you have so many plans. I support everything that you’ve shared with me. I understand what you want to achieve.”

Chloe had bitten her lip at the sheer vulnerability of his words and expression.

“I adore you,” he had said. “You understand what I want. We’ve talked about all of them before.”

She had nodded wordlessly.

Lex had walked slowly forward and taken one of her hands in his own. “That’s why I know how big of a risk this is, and how unfair I’m being. But I want everything now, Chloe. I’m ready for everything now. And I know in my heart I won’t find anyone else I can love this much.”

And the entire time, his dreams were foremost in her mind. While Lex had stood there, admitting how wrong it was for him to want so much, all of the pictures he had painted for her of their future were prominent in her thoughts. They had considered tomorrow so many times—of their children studying in the city and not in some boarding house across the globe, of Chloe writing from home so she would always be there when he came home, of Lex spreading his investments so that he could have others run the companies for him, of their family spending holidays in different places every year and Sundays out together.

The decision was split second. At that precise moment, career and ambition fled. Chloe wanted to make him happy. She had wanted it when they fell in love; she wanted it at that time; she would want it forever.

She had picked up the small box and sat heavily on the bed. Chloe handed the ring back to Lex and whispered against his lips, her eyes closed, “Propose to me.”

“Chloe,” he started.

She had swallowed her cry and wiped the tears away from her cheeks. Even before he had gone any further, Chloe had thrown her arms around him and exclaimed, “Yes!”

He had laughed in relief then. He had pulled her into his arms and they collapsed on the bed. As their laughter and crying faded, Lex slowly slipped the ring on her finger. He turned to look at her as she smiled tearfully while gazing at the symbol of their promise. “Thank you,” he had told her.

Chloe had smiled and gazed at him, then nodded. “I’ll give you everything,” she had vowed.

Now, in the doctor’s office, two years after a fairy tale wedding and a life in which Lex had done all of his part in their bargain, Chloe sat looking down at the proof that she had never deserved everything he had given her. She lowered her head and merely stared at the words in black and white. Soon, dark spots stained the white sheet.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered under her breath. The doctor reached for her hand and squeezed it firmly. “I’m so sorry.”

And then, Lex was kneeling in front of her, cupping her cheeks and lifting her tearstained face to his. Chloe shut her eyes tightly, because she could not look and discover the emotions she feared showing in his eyes.

“Look at me,” he said firmly. Chloe shook her head. “Look at me,” he repeated.

Finally, she opened her eyes and met his gaze. The loathing and the blame that she feared were absent. Chloe recognized determination and sadness in his eyes. Most importantly, she saw love.

“Didn’t you read it?” she choked out. “It’s me, Lex. I’m the reason we still don’t have a baby!”

Lex shook his head. “It’s not your fault,” he told her.

Tears slipped from her eyes. “Why is this happening, Lex? We want one so much. We’ve been trying for two years!” she exclaimed. “My cousin sleeps with Clark one time and gets pregnant. She doesn’t even want a baby!”

Lex pulled Chloe into his arms and held her tightly. He looked at the doctor. “What can we do?” he asked hoarsely. “If there’s anything, Harris—“

“God, love,” she murmured into his shirt, “I’m the reason you can’t fulfill your dreams.”

He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her skin over the wedding band. Lex dried her tears with his fingers. “You are my dream,” he replied.

Chloe settled her head on his shoulder and looked up at him.

And she was all too familiar with the longing in his eyes then.

[asharnanae]

:crygreen: that is so good, but a sad start!!! :yay:

[autumngold]

Oh, the first part is so angsty!! With all of the money and doctors on Lex's payroll, can't they do something? Please don't let Lex go to anyone else to get his family!! :crygreen: Poor Chloe, giving up her dreams and still feeling that she disappointed him!! Great beginning!! :chlexsign4:

[katspell]

poor Chloe, love the angst!!! now make it better!!!!!

[LarkLuthor]

Beautiful, Beautiful! But what's the deal with Lois and Clark? That's weird. You must be planning to use in in the future.

Lark Luthor

[pop55]

hmy: Wow!! I don't know what to say but wow!! That was simply beautiful!! Love it'!!

:worship2:

:yay: I NEED MORE :yay:

[ColumbiaBlue]

EEEP!!! A new Catheryne fic!!! :yay2: :yay2: :yay2:

Byt why does it have to be so sad? :crygreen: Please make it better soon? Please?

~Manda :

[hfce]

Oh wow :crygreen:


Hope :crygreen:

[gina]

Wow! Powerful beginning. Poor Chloe! :crygreen:

I love this so far and can't wait to see where you go with it!

[Catheryne]

Part 2

Her skin she knew must be cold and clammy. Chloe pushed her laptop aside and looked up. It was almost seven, almost time for her husband to walk into the house. Lex always made certain he came home early so that they could have at least a few hours together before they had to go to bed. For the first time in their marriage though, Chloe did not want to see Lex.

Not yet.

She stood up, forcing her weak knees to cooperate, Chloe felt herself burning up and freezing at the same time. Chloe stumbled towards the bathroom and fumbled with the doorknob. No matter how much she tried though, she couldn't seem to grasp the knob properly. Chloe's hand slipped. Since she had placed her weight into opening the door, Chloe staggered to her side when the door finally swung open.

Chloe rested her hands on opposite edges of the sink and felt her empty stomach turn over. She bent low and heaved dryly.

The phone rang.

Chloe looked up at her reflection in the mirror, took in her sunken eyes and pale lips, then heaved again. There was nothing inside her anymore, she thought, as tears slipped down her cheeks. She had been sick for the past few days and she had nothing left.

The ringing phone still pierced through her muddled consciousness.

"Chloe," she heard Lex's tight voice being recorded by the answering machine, "where are you?"

Her heart would have broken at the coldness in her husband's words. She could not and would not blame him. After all, she had recognized the slow decline of their relationship the moment she started it.

Chloe reached for the bottle of miltivitamins that actually contained the pills that she did not want Lex to know about. She unscrewed the cap and took one pill ou. Chloe then placed it in his mouth. She turned the faucet on to try to drown out Lex's message.

"I have to stay here in the office for a couple more hours."

Chloe cupped some water in her hand and sipped some to swallow the pill.

"Sorry for the late call. You don't have to wait up for me if you're tired."

She supposed it was her fault. A man could only take as much. The day after she found out that she was the cause of the collapse of their dreams, she had gone to the doctor and asked for the pills that Lextold her he did not want her to take.

That was what he said.

Yet Chloe had seen the spark of interest in his eyes when the doctor had told them of this option. When the doctor had mentioned that the specific formula that Chloe needed would wreak havoc on her hormones and her body in general, Lex had been quick to say no.

The entire night after that, while they lay in bed together, the hope in Lex's eyes in that moment haunted
her.

"Anyway, good night."

And the doctor had not been exaggerating. Chloe knew her body dropped within twenty four hours of taking the first pill. She had been short and cold with Lex because she did not want him to know. Truth be told, in the worst moments, when she felt like the medicines were killing her, she blamed him. She blamed him because she loved him too much to not take the risk.

~~

Lex put down phone back in the cradle and settled back in his chair to force himself to work. He had known Chloe was in the house. He had installed his own men to look after her. The security were subtle and inconspicuous so Chloe would not know. They had reported that Chloe was inside the house and had not left since he went to work that morning.

Lex rubbed the bridge of his nose. His marriage was breaking apart, and he had no way of knowing how to fix it. Ever since hat doctor told them what was relly the reason they were childless, Chloe seemed intent on finding a way out of their life.

"Chloe, don't do this. It's not worth it," said the man whose only dream was to have a complete and healthy family.

A child would have fulfilled him in ways he could not name. However, now placed in this situation, Lex could not help but this that he could live without a baby that he knew he fathered. But he could not live without Chloe.

The doctor's suggestions had not all been preposterous. They had so many options to consider. Right now, Lex could think of only one that would be acceptable to them in time. Adoption. Surrogacy was out of the question. He knew that Chloe would not survive nine months of knowing that her husband's dream was growing inside the womb of another woman. The pills... the entire treatment would solve that problem. In time, Chloe may be able to give him a child. After hearing the costs, Lex loved her enough not to press for something that would bring her to the edge. He did not trust enough in his strength to bring her back.

Half an hour later, Lex decided that it pointless to stay. Everything inside him wanted Chloe, craved his wife, especially at this hour because they had spent every night since their wedding together in bed. It was why she quit her job when he proposed.

Maybe it was their fault. They had been too ideal. Lex wanted children and a wife who would stay at home to raise their kids the way Lionel had not been able to raise him. Chloe had agreed to abandon her career so that she would always be there for her husband and her children, the way her mother had not been to her and to her dad.

He hoped this was not punishment for wanting perfection. Was he truly willing to allow their dreams to ruin the life he had established with Chloe?

So they won't have children of their own. So the nursery he had foolishly had installed in the house would not be used. So Chloe could return to her promising career. So everyone would regard them as failures.

Lex thought they'd won too much since they fell in love anyway.

He drove back to his place earlier than he expected. Very somberly, he climbed the few steps that led to the door. He slipped inside and heard utter silence.

Lex went to the bedroom to look in on his sleeping wife. He pulled his tie loose as he made his way there. When he stood beside the bed, he saw that it was empty.

"Chloe," he said quietly into the darkness.

There was no answer.

He walked down the stairs and called out, "Chloe, I'm home."

Lex found the library and the kitchen empty. He looked around him and felt a chill at the eerie stillness that surrounded him. Chloe was home. His guards told him that. Chloe was home and his house was never this still when she was home. He saw a chair turned over, and he proceeded to right it. When he bent low, Lex saw the sliver of light coming from inside the bathroom.

"Chloe," he repeated. Lex rapped on the door. "Chlo, are you there?"

Now, as his heart thundered in his chest, Lex swallowed dryly. He heard the running water when he pressed his ear to the door. He knocked more heavily. "Chloe, open the door."

Lex stood back and rammed his shoulder against the door. "Come on, dammit," he murmured under his breath. Again, he pushed against the door.

Lex tried over and over to open the door. Finally, when he thought his arm would fall off from the pain, the door swung open. He stepped in and took in the sight before him.

Chloe lay unconscious on the tiles, a grayish yellow matter congealed beside her head. Vaguely he noticed that it was vomit. The sink overflowed with water. Lex knelt beside his wife and turned her head. "Chloe," he whispered harshly.

When he assured himself that she had only fainted and was still breathing properly, Lex scanned the bathroom to see what must have caused her harm. His intent search yielded a small bottle of multivitamins sitting on the wet sink. Lex gathered Chloe in his arms to get her away from the regurgitated fluid on the tiles. He reached for the bottle and tipped it over, then examined the contents.

He recognized the pills. The doctor had helf them aloft and he had seen Choe looking at them as if they were the Holy Grail.

He had not noticed how ill Chloe looked, he thought, as he stared at her face. He was disgusted with himself. Chloe had seen his interest with this treatment. She had asked him on their way home if he really did not want her to take the pills. He had answered no. His hesitation told her something else.

Lex took the bottle and dumped the contents into the toilet. Then, he pressed flush to drown them.

He took Chloe in his arms and lifted her. Then, he proceeded to take her to their bedroom. When he laid her down, Lex touched her cheek and her forehead. She was hot to the touch. Her sweatpants were wet from where the faucet water was absorbed.

"Chloe, wake up," he pleaded.

Her eyes fluttered open and she regarded him briefly. "I'm so cold," she told Lex. Then, she slipped back into her sleep.

Lex nodded and laid down beside her, wrapping his arms around her and rubbing her arms. Chloe sighed and burrowed deeper. Lex took the phone from his pocket and called the doctor.

~~

Chloe woke to the feel of Lex pressed close against her. She sighed and took a deep breath.

God, she had missed his scent. She adored this man, and she would not lose him because of her own inadequacies.

She laid her hand against his chest. His heart thumped steadily under her palm. "Lex," she whispered under her breath.

Chloe was jarred to awareness by the realization that she had never made it to bed the night before. She sat up and glanced at her clothes. They were the same ones she had on before. Her last recollection was curling into herself on the cold tiled floor of the bathroom.

"Lex," she said again. Her husband had apparently found her and taken her to bed.

He awoke at the loss of contact, at the sudden coldness in his arms where there had been warmth. Lex took in his wife blinking first in confusion, then hugging herself as she remembered.

"You have a lot of things to tell me," he said quietly.

Tear-filled eyes went to him. "I know."

Lex sat up and drew her back into his embrace. "I need to tell you something first.” She looked up at him. “I won’t leave you.” Chloe smiled lopsidedly, sadly. “Ever. I promise. Not because of this. Not because of anything.”

“Thank you for saying that.”

I’m not just saying it. You’re worth more of all my dreams put together. Chloe—“ Lex sighed. He had no words. He didn’t know how to tell her or convince her.

Chloe looked down.