Authors: Юü§îLLå Låñ©ê
Rating: PG
Pairing: Chloe/Lex
Feedback: Always welcome and desired.
Summary: Lex mourns over losing the light in his darkness. Based on Evanescence's "My Immortal." See if you can pick out the lyrics...
Dearest Chloe,
I’m so tired of being here. Here in Smallville. It reminds me too much of you…and many other things. Here in Smallville, I’m surpressed by all my childish fears. Fears of being kidnapped, held hostage, beaten, nearly killed…corn stalks. Yes…corn stalks. Mind you that I was lost in a field of corn when the meteor shower came and changed my life for the worst…And losing the people I love. Especially you…
I know you didn’t mean to leave me. But…If you had to leave, I wish that you would just leave. I know it’s a cruel thought, but it’s so painful…because even though you’re gone, your presence still lingers here and it won’t leave me alone.
I’ve been hurt so many times, but I think losing you hurts the most. And unlike other wounds that have scarred over, these wounds won’t seem to heal. The pain…It’s just…it’s just too real. Who am I kidding? It is real. They say time heals all wounds, but there’s just too much that time cannot erase.
I want you to know that as much as forgetting you would numb the pain, I could never forget you, Chloe. I’ll never forget that whenever you cried I’d wipe away all your tears. And everytime you screamed I’d fight away all your fears…And how I held your hand through all of these years. Dammit, Chloe! Looking back on the past few sentences, thinking about you has turned me into a poet. But that’s what I loved about you—you were able to turn me into things I’d never thought possible…good things.
It’s not fair. I don’t have any part of you anymore, but you still have all of me.
You used to captivate me by your resonating light. You were always my light in the darkness. But now you’re gone and all that’s left is darkness—and I’m bound to it…bound by the life you left behind.
Your face—the face I loved so much—now haunts my once pleasant dreams. And in these dreams I hear your voice screaming for me. And it’s chased away all the sanity in me.
I’ve…I’ve tried to hard to tell myself that you’re gone. I remember what you said to me…I remember the last words you’d ever utter: “I’ll always be with you…” I’d like to say a million emotions were running thru me then, as I held you in my arms—my clothes and hands wet with the red liquid that poured from your fragile body—but I can’t only three emotions ran thru me at that moment: fear, love and hate. Fear that I’d never see you again…Love for the time we shared and the memories we made…And hate. Hate for the man that killed you and our unborn child. Hate for my father…
You were the light in my darkness. I don’t know how long it will be before I’m unable to fight the darkness off and it swallows me whole.
I love you, Chloe. You’ll always be my immortal…
__________
The bald man finished his silent prayer to his lover and his wife. He laid a blood red rose upon her grave and kissed the headstone. A drop of water fell from his eye to lead many more tears to come.
And though you’re still with me, I’ve been alone all along…
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