Description: In the past Chloe made a choice between two men, but she did not suspect it was the wrong one.
Rating: NC17
Disclaimer: Don't own anything
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A/N
Gosh, recently I am like a machine for creating stories. This one came to me and I was forced to let my other two ideas go for the time being.
I am sorry for starting a new story without updating Ten Years of Chlex, but I promise to do that tomorrow! Now I’ll have much more three time as my exams are almost over.
I hope at some point – or maybe right away – you’ll figure out the play word in the title.
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Part 1
Chloe wasn’t happy.
In fact she was miserable.
Her marriage wasn’t at a good stage and, what more, she felt like she’d been unsatisfied since forever.
She understood Clark had a lot on his head, but he’d always had and would have! He didn’t pay her as much attention as he’d used to and their sexual life was completely nonexistent.
She sighed heavily and closed her eyes forcefully to stop herself from crying. She knew if she started she would never finish and then Clark would wake up, because of his amazing hearing capacity and he would ask what was wrong.
How would she tell him?
It was Clark for a God’s sake! Sometimes she was even ashamed of her desires. She wanted to have sex, wanted it hard, she wanted something more than just that, she would also like to try some oral, but with Clark… She was certain he would look at her weirdly and either blush or make her feel totally embarrassed.
It wasn’t wrong for a human being to want those things, Chloe knew that, but with Clark… everything seemed different. Purer. The world was always black or white. The sex was always gentle and caring.
The worst part was she couldn’t blame him for that last part, because she knew he could hurt her if he lost too much of his control.
But they still hadn’t had sex from… Chloe started counting and at the point of three months she stopped, not wanting to think about it anymore.
That was not the way she’d imagined her life years ago.
She’d chosen Clark and she’d been so sure she’d loved him. Her first love. The purest. The right one. She’d known she should be with him.
So why the hell wasn’t she happy?
She remembered how in the past she’d been pursued by Lex Luthor. She remembered how much he’d wanted and desired her. He’d been very troubled to get her attention, he’d even told her he hadn’t expected love from her, he’d just wanted her, he could’ve given her everything in return, but she’d remained skeptical. Quite frankly she’d been a little scared of the power of his affection. It’d been Lex Luthor. He would’ve played with her and dump her in a year time. Or he would’ve married her and the marriage would’ve been over very soon.
Because that was how his world had worked and probably still…
No, Chloe thought, Lex hadn’t been seriously involved with anyone since that time. He’d chosen to pursue his politic career and just two months ago he’d become the president of United States.
Of course Clark hated that fact. Clark hated everything that was related to Luthors. He even stated that from now on he would have even more work on his hands with saving people.
That was the reason Chloe never told him that she’d actually voted for Lex. She could see that he wasn’t his father, that he really tried and dedicated himself to helping the country. He was against the vigilantes, but what Chloe admired was the fact that he wanted to make the world more safe without the need for heroes. He had a really good strategic plan and Chloe already saw that it was working.
Just one more secret between her and Clark.
Would their marriage even survive? Would they be happy together? Or would they just drive further apart?
Sometimes she wondered if she’d made the right choice. If Lex had really loved her as he’d claimed maybe she could’ve been now the First Lady? Maybe she could’ve done something for the world.
She’d been the Wachtower for vigilantes from a long time now, but it was in hiding. She had to sit in one room, by her computers, while others acted.
She hated her life.
She hated giving up on her journalist career.
She hated that she’d decided to move on the farm with Clark.
She didn’t know what to do.
Maybe she should just talk to Clark? Why would he laugh at her? He was her husband and he should understand her needs. She was a woman. A young one. She needed some sexual release.
And it wasn’t even about the sex. She would want to fall asleep in Clark’s arms, feeling safe and loved. Instead she usually went to sleep alone when Clark was out there, saving the world.
“Clark?” she whispered, desperate to have a talk. She felt brave at the moment and she didn’t want to lose that feeling.
Once she’d been a courageous intrepid reporter and now… now she was afraid to tell her own husband how she felt.
Clark shifted and turned on his back.
“Clark?” Chloe repeated, this time a little louder.
Clark sighed deeply and his breathing quickly accelerated.
“Clark…?” she whispered again, her voice a little husky.
She slid her hand into the covers and placed it on his groin.
He was growing hard very quickly.
Happy of such a turn of events Chloe got closer and gently traced Clark’s jaw with her lips. She wanted to wake him up by kissing and touching him.
She slowly started rubbing his erection, feeling wetter and wetter. She was so desperate for sex…
And then Clark did something that hurt Chloe so much she lost her breath.
He opened his mouth and while still sleeping, he moaned, “Lana…”
Chloe stirred. Stopped. Her hand still on his erection. Her eyes burning from the humiliation and pain in her heart.
Clark dreamt about her.
The reason he’d been so broken in the past.
The reason he’d probably fallen for Chloe.
Lana had left him and gone to Paris. Chloe had been there to console the friend she’d always loved and in the same time Lex had been pursuing her.
Then Clark had started.
And she’d chosen Clark.
Now she finally dared to think that she’d been just the consolation prize, the second choice. That she’d never really managed to replace Lana in Clark’s heart. That he’d never really managed to get over Lana and fell for her. Maybe he’d never really loved Chloe.
She felt so diminished and humiliated that she just got out of the bed and tiptoed to the bathroom where she sat on the cold floor, her back against the wall, her body shaking as she cried.
How she, Chloe Sullivan, could’ve been so stupid? She’d seen so much in this world. She’d always uncovered the truth.
Yeah, in the past. Clark Kent had been the first lie.
And from that time forward her life had been nothing more than one big lie.
She’s buried her life dream.
She’d buried her ambitions.
And for what? For some farm boy?
Lex’s words had reappeared in her head, “Chloe, do you really expect to be satisfied with him? While living on a farm? What with your career? What with all the things you wanted to achieve? You’ll sacrifice it all for… a boy in flannel? He’s so much less than you are!” Lex’s voice bitter.
“No, Lex, there’s much more to him than you see,” she said, very sure of herself. She, after all, had known Clark secret.
“Maybe, but still, it’ll make his future brighter, not yours.” After that Lex had disappeared from her life for good.
Six months later when he’d entered the politics he’d sent her a note. He could’ve gotten her out of Smallville, fixed her anything she would want if she’d only wanted out of her marriage. He wouldn’t even ask for anything in return.
Though she’d written the contact down she’d never answered him.
Now she didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t live like that any longer. She had to make a change before that life would destroy her.
She needed to concoct some plan.
***
The next day she did some research and it turned out that Lana was back in town.
Clark dropped by for lunch before he would fly away again, so Chloe took the opportunity and asked him, “Clark… did you know Lana’s back in town?”
She was watching his face closely as he thought of an answer.
“Of course not, is she really?” he asked with no particular expression.
Only Chloe knew him too well.
She knew that face, knew that voice. She knew when he was lying. She’d had a lot of practice from all those years she hadn’t know about Kal-El.
Clark was lying to her now.
Clark was hurting her as no one had ever hurt her before.
She would’ve never thought he was capable of something like that. She must’ve been so wrong about him. So wrong about… everything.
Clark quickly wolfed the food down and flew away again after giving her a perk on the lips.
Even his kisses were impersonal now, like she was being kissed by a friend, not by her husband.
She stifled a fresh wave of tears that was coming and reached for her laptop.
Getting a job in journalism after such a big break was practically impossible. She would have to spend at least the next few years on proving everybody at the Daily Planet or, more probably at the Inquisitor, that she could get back on the horse. She knew no one would respect her if she just showed up there, asking for a job. Any kind of a job.
Her dignity was gone along with Clark’s affection.
She had nothing to lose.
She needed to start breathing again. She needed to get rid of that dread in her heart. She needed to stop feeling like she’d failed herself. Like she’d destroyed her life.
She knew there was no way she could just call the president and ask for a meeting, but Lex had a private e-mail box just for the people that were the closest to him.
She wasn’t sure if he still had it or is she still could count herself as a person of interest to Lex Luthor, but it wouldn’t hurt to try.
She wrote to him.
For the very first time.
He’d given her that address in his last letter. He’d written that she would always be welcome to ask for help. Maybe he still…
She glazed at her laptop, completely surprised, when the answer came almost immediately.
Lex must’ve had that e-mail box on in his cell phone, so he could read the message right away.
He wanted to meet her.
No questions asked, no redundant words.
She suddenly started wondering why she felt excited to see him.
It looked like she was still important to him.
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) then Lana with him doesn’t really bring fire. I know Lana was always so nice to everyone on SV, but somehow Chloe was the sunshine.
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