A/N: Yes, I’m starting another story. Maybe I’m a masochist, but the idea popped into my head the other day and just won’t go away. Silly and a little bit fluffy. Also-no Lana.
Disclaimer: Smallville and Superman belong to Warner Brothers and DC Comics. Cosmopolitan owned by Hearst Publishing.
Summary: When Lex declares that the seduction tips in Chloe’s magazine could never work, she tests them out. On him. (Yeah, I suck at summaries.)
Rating: R…eventually.
………………..
“That couldn’t actually work could it?” Chloe Sullivan asked.
Lois Lane looked up at Chloe after skimming the article herself. “You never know. Some guys are into that sort of thing.”
“What sort of thing?” Clark Kent asked as he turned a chair around and sung his leg over to straddle it.
Lois looked at Chloe over her coffee mug. They had been sitting in the Talon for the last half hour perusing the latest issue of Cosmopolitan. Chloe never read it, but to Lois it ranked among her prerequisites for survival. Chloe wouldn’t have doubted if Lois had every single issue from the last five years.
“Nothing.” Chloe said quickly. A little too quickly apparently, for Clark’s eyes narrowed and then zoned in on the magazine partially hidden under Lois’s arm.
“Actually Clark,” Lois said with an evil smile playing over her lips at his suspicion, “We were just talking about seduction.”
Clark instantly paled, then turned the same beet red as the stripes in his requisite flannel shirt. “What?” he squeaked out. Chloe bit her lip to keep from laughing. Clark had actually squeaked.
“Yep. So tell me Clark, do you think it would work if a girl…” the brunette leaned over and whispered the rest of her sentence in his ear. His eyes widened to such a proportion Chloe was sure they would pop out of his head. He jumped up out of his seat as if Lois had burned his ear, knocking over his chair in the process. Cheers and applause echoed around the room at Clark’s display of coordination.
Chloe looked at her cousin, sipping her coffee, the epitome of innocence.
“Uh…I have to…um…” Clark stammered.
“Go?” Chloe supplied.
“Yeah.” he agreed before all but bolting out of the building.
“What did you say to him?” Chloe demanded.
Lois grinned devilishly. “I just asked him if he thought number seventeen would work.”
Chloe grabbed the magazine and scanned the page until she found the tip in question. Her mouth dropped open. “You didn’t!”
Lois grinned at her in reply.
“Oh my God. I’m surprised he didn’t pass out. Clark’s probably never even heard of that before.”
“Heard of what?” came a voice above them.
Both girls turned to see Lex Luthor standing above them, clad in his usual dark suit and trademark smirk. He glanced back and forth between the two, as they looked at each other. It was obvious they didn’t want to tell him what had they had been discussing.
“Nothing.” Chloe replied in the same tone in which she had answered Clark. As before, it didn’t work and Lex studied her before picking up Clark’s chair and sitting down.
“With the way Clark just tore out of here, I seriously doubt it was nothing.” he said.
Chloe looked at Lois as if to say ‘Should we?’ Lois shrugged in response.
Using the lapse in their attention to his advantage, Lex snatched the magazine from Chloe before she could protest. She made a futile attempt to get it back, but he held out his hands to block her effort.
“101 Ways to Seduce Him…Without his Knowledge.” He scanned the article before looking up at Chloe and she felt the blush rise up in her face against her will.
“You don’t honestly think that these would work on anyone with an IQ above twelve do you?” he asked.
“We were just reading it.” she said defensively.
“Don’t tell me Clark saw this?”
Both girls smile somewhat sheepishly and Lex shook his head. “Well that explains it.” he said under his breath.
“Just getting the male viewpoint. Since we have yours now, maybe you should go check on Clark. See if he’s recovered.” Lois said.
Lex looked at her, mildly surprised. He had the nagging suspicion there was more going on here than met the eye. He glanced over at Chloe. She was still a little pink.
“You alright Chloe? You seem…flushed. Trying to decide whether or not to try these out?”
A spark suddenly appeared in her eyes that Lex and Lois both instantly recognized as supreme anger. “If you want to know something Lex, why not just ask?”
“I thought I just did.” he replied. Without another word he stood and handed the magazine back to her. “I do hope you’re not planning to actually use these. A man would have to be an idiot to fall for any of these. And you surely wouldn’t stoop to cheap ploys.”
“You honestly don’t think they’d work? Any of them?” Lois asked.
“No I don’t.” he told her before turning and heading out the door.
Lois looked at Chloe whose eyes were trained on Lex’s retreating back. “Well there’s a challenge if ever I heard one.”
………………..
“For the last time NO!” Chloe practically yelled at her cousin as Lois followed her through her apartment to her bedroom.
“Why not? You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about it.” Lois teased as she plopped onto Chloe’s bed.
Chloe blushed and Lois beamed in triumph. “I knew it!” she cried.
“I never said yes.” Chloe said defensively.
“You didn’t have to.”
Chloe sighed and turned to her computer. Maybe if she ignored Lois, she’d go away.
“Come on, not once in all these years, have you ever wondered what it would be like to sleep with Lex Luthor, infamous playboy and known sex god?” Lois pressed.
“Lois!”
“What?” she replied innocently.
“I cannot believe you just said that.” Chloe muttered.
“Why not? Isn’t that the rumor? Lex’s ‘expertise’ is famous.” Lois said adding finger quotes to the word expertise. Chloe laughed. She fell onto the bed next to Lois.
“If you’re really so curious why not just test them out yourself?” Chloe challenged.
Lois narrowed her eyes at her cousin. She was so obvious sometimes.
“It would never work. Lex can’t stand me. Now you on the other hand…”
Chloe smacked her playfully on the arm. “Like they would work if I tried them.”
“You could always find out.” Lois teased.
Chloe mulled that over in her brain as she stared at her ceiling. A light bulb flashed in her brain and she sat up grinning.
“I know that look. What are you plotting? I know there’s something going on in that devious head of yours.” Lois accused.
“Devious? Who, me?” she feigned shock at Lois’s words.
“Just spill.”
“I’ll try these out on Lex on one condition.” Chloe said.
“That would be?” Lois wondered.
“You try them on Clark.”
Lois’s mouth dropped open and she gaped at Chloe. ‘Oh, if she thinks that’s going to get her out of this she’s dead wrong.’
“You’ve got a deal.” Lois said and stuck out her hand. Chloe took it and shook.
……………….
A/N: Well, should I continue?
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