Title: Let's All Have a Good Laugh
Author: westwingwolf
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I also do not condone the stupidity done by one of these character's actions. Consider yourself lucky if you do and live to tell the tale.
Spoilers: Future Fic that does not follow Smallville's current timeline. Lana and Chloe were never friends, it's not like we have anything to go on that they are now anyways.
Summary: Lex is having trouble focusing on work. Chloe can't stop laughing.
AN: This is not part of the WikiSeries even though this Chlex may be behaving like WikiChlex. I wasn't planning on writing until I could get past RL stuff but I was in the mood, blame it on a recent viewing of Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. So I'm giving you a warning that this is comedy with a dark twist.
Lex Luthor was getting distracted by his wife.
And not in the good way.
He was looking over the latest business proposal with Wayne Enterprises when he heard a strange noise from Chloe’s office.
The volume of the noise wasn’t the problem. Even if he could hear it from his office.
Their offices had to be placed on opposite ends of the penthouse. Not because he didn’t trust his wife in respecting his dealings, but because if they were too close in proximity, work would never get done. In fact, work was rarely done at home except for emergencies. However, since Chloe had entered her third trimester, she preferred not to go to the Daily Planet offices unless necessary. Lex preferred to stay close to her. If for no other reason, then Chloe claimed that a physical exertion followed by a nice nap was good for her muse. Lex was always more than happy to support her career.
Most of the time he wouldn’t bother working at all while she was in her office. He would listen to her happy exclamations as she scored another story, lead, or bested her cousin, which occurred regularly. Her happiness made things much easier for him. Not that he couldn’t make her frustrations work as well. When she became angry, he would wait a while. Then enter the office with offerings of coffee and chocolate, especially chocolate. He would listen patiently as she explained the problem with her latest story. Be a sounding board as she mentioned ideas. Give advice, but never sound like he knew better or was trying to take over her work. Find a way to make her smile or laugh, and then suggest that they move to the bedroom so he could give her a massage. Turns out the anger wasn’t so bad as long as it wasn’t pointed at him.
But he needed to work on this deal before Wayne showed up for their meeting tomorrow. He wanted to be able to get right to work and avoid Bruce’s attempts to postpone it so they could have a dinner meeting. A dinner meeting in which Bruce would spend less time doing business and more time leering at Chloe and trying to convince her to run away with him. Not that she would. She preferred her billionaires bald. She also felt that Bruce was being too obvious in his attraction to women in order to cover up the fact that he had feelings for a certain young ward. Still, there was no reason to take the chance and he wanted to avoid the headaches that those dinner meetings often brought.
So when he heard the laughter coming from Chloe’s office, he had to stop reading about the best way to profit from LexCorp’s latest technological advancement with Wayne Enterprises cost effective manufacturing. Laughter from Chloe wasn’t rare, but it wasn’t often that he heard it while she was in her office.
At first, he suspected that she was speaking with Lois and was listening to her and Clark’s latest work efforts. How those two became journalists let alone managed to work together still baffled him.
But then he noticed that Chloe hadn’t made any comments. Just laughter.
So then he thought that she was on that Supernatural fanfiction site that she liked to visit for a work distraction. She had a few internet friends who often made her laugh. On the whole they were crazy. One insisted that she owned a bed made of naked Deans. Another liked to say mean things and then blame it on a hat. One claimed she was Spiderman and needed to save the chatbox from evil villains. A different one liked to encourage torture and angst so much that he thought it could have been his father. The only sane one, besides Chloe, was a teacher. However, she married a man who kept snakes and other creatures around their home, so the sanity was only relatively so. The only reason he encouraged Chloe’s visits to the site was because it serve to encourage her to stop working and join him in the bedroom…or kitchen…or on the couch…or in the shower.
But after an hour, she hadn’t stopped laughing and she hadn’t come to find him or called for him to come to her.
She obviously wasn’t going to stop unless he made the effort to make her. And he hadn’t gotten any work done. Bruce was going to get his damn business dinner. Maybe Lex would suggest that he bring young Mr. Grayson so Chloe could finally be the matchmaker that she had been begging Lex to let her be. Lex would get a kick out of watching Bruce squirm as Chloe asked pointed questions. Served the poofy-haired billionaire right.
He didn’t make his approach known. Just stood behind her chair, bent to kiss her hair, and rest his hands on her bump. “What’s so funny, baby?” he asked before kissing her neck.
“Perry asked me to cover this story and I can’t get passed the first paragraph,” she replied. Lex had managed to turn her laughter into gasps of pleasure.
“Well, I’m glad you are taking it very well,” he said before returning back to his task. Chloe didn’t handle writer’s block well. It led to those frustrated moments, but whatever she was writing had put her in a good mood so he would be able to spend less effort in getting her out of the office. Which meant more energy could be spent on more pleasurable things.
“Technically it’s a puff piece so I’m not too wor….,” she didn’t finish her thought because she had stopped to stare at Lex in confusion. He had stopped kissing her, stepped back and was now scowling.
“What is that idiot thinking giving you a puff piece? You’ve brought in too many readers to still be doing third rate material that shouldn’t even cross Clark’s desk. I know you don’t like it when I interfere but I’m going to get that man…” Chloe stopped Lex’s ranting by grabbing him by the tie and pulling him down for a rough kiss.
“The piece is on the death of an important businessman’s wife and would be serious if her manner of death wasn’t so damn funny. Perry gave it to me because he thought it would be a conflict of interest to Clark.” She turned his head to her computer screen.
Lana Lang-Queen, wife of billionaire Oliver Queen, was pronounced dead in her home. Star City coroner determined the cause of death to be heart failure by electrocution. Security footage shows that Mrs. Queen was attempting to plug in a television set. Mrs. Queen complained about shoddy worked done by her household staff and was determined to do the job herself, despite the fact that she was not wearing rubber soled shoes. She ignored the pleas of her butler, who was wearing proper footwear, that the wire was obviously frayed and therefore dangerous. Also, she did not pay attention to the fact that she had just taken a shower and was still dripping water. She claimed that she was too perfect to die. This declaration proved faulty.
“Do you think the pun was too much?” Chloe asked not bothering to contain her smile.
Lex did the only thing one could do when confronted with this story.
He laughed.
The End
AN: For fun, count the sexual innuendos I wrote. It's like a perverted version of Where's Waldo?
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and the only person I didn’t recognize was this apparently evil, crazy person who keeps nagging everyone else to introduce angst and torture into all their fics whether they want it or not… What kind of a horrible person would do that?!?!
you used one of my avatars as your icon. I'm so pleased and flattered! 
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