Title: Divine Madness
Author: SaraC
Rating: NC-17 (will be!
Spoilers: Post Season 3 and into Season 4
Summary: Secret loves can lead to divine madness...
Disclaimer: Not mine, never will be!
Notes: This came to me after seeing this quote from Jane Eyre on a friend's LJ. It jumped out at me, and well, I felt Chloe speaking to me through it. Of course, this will probably be slow in updating, because I'm working around my screenplay writing and other graduate classes, but hopefully, somewhat regular updates since this isn't going to be 'plot' heavy.
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"...it is madness in all women to let a secret love kindle within them, which, if unreturned and unknown, must devour the life that feeds it; and if discovered and responded to, must lead, ignis-fatuus-like, into miry wilds whence there is no extrication."
-excerpt from Jane Eyre
Chapter 1
Chloe’s heart rate leap to twice it’s normal speed as she heard the bells over the Talon door tinkle and looked up to see a familiar bald head enter. Lex was wearing his usual three piece suit, but today had chosen a dark blue shirt to go with the ensemble, bringing out the blue of his eyes. Her mouth dried as she watched him shrug out of his jacket as he walked over to the counter, greeting Lana with his usual cool smile. The move only showcased the muscles that rippled across his back, the shirt clinging to them lovingly as he leaned against the counter.
Closing her eyes, she felt a zing of desire shoot through her system and ordered herself to focus on something other than how much she wanted to walk over and run her hands over those muscles, reveling in how strong and warm he would feel against her skin.
Groaning under her breath at her immediate arousal, she reached for her coffee, suddenly wishing for a large glass of ice water. When the lukewarm brew did nothing to curb her desire, she decided instead to focus on the book she was supposed to be reading for her English class.
Jane Eyre was not one of her favorites, considering she found Jane’s shy, retiring attitude too opposite from her own nature. But she had to admit, there were traits about Mr. Rochester that reminded her a lot of Lex. Her cheeks heated again as her frustration rose at realizing once more, thoughts of Lex had managed to color her daily life. With her mind only half on what she was reading, she found her eyes suddenly caught by a line on the page. Her eyes widened as she reread it, wondering if fate were trying to tell her something.
"...it is madness in all women to let a secret love kindle within them, which, if unreturned and unknown, must devour the life that feeds it; and if discovered and responded to, must lead, ignis-fatuus-like, into miry wilds whence there is no extrication."
Well, that pretty much summed up what she’d been feeling the past few years--ever since she’d realized how much she and Lex had in common, not to mention his sex appeal. However, with the situation between Lex, Lionel and all her friends, not to mention her own folly in accepting Lionel’s offer, she’d been forced to keep her growing feelings secret. Not that she wanted to reveal to people she found harder and harder to trust, that she was harboring a secret desire for Lex Luthor. A desire that only seemed to grow, fostering in the recess of her mind with imagined looks and conversations that she read far too deeply into. And she was finding there seemed to be no “extrication” from the madness.
Looked like she and Jane might have something in common after all.
She’d begun to feel more for Lex as they’d worked together to bring Lionel down. Despite his brainwashing, her faked ‘death’ and Lionel’s far too publicized trial, they’d managed to form a friendship. That friendship, she’d soon discovered, at least on her part, had fast turned to an infatuation with the bald billionaire.
It hadn’t helped that he’d been the one person she’d been in contact with in her hellish three months of playing dead. While he had enough trouble recovering from Lionel’s poisoning, he’d always made sure to call her once a week, from a special, secure line, knowing how alone she felt, cut off from even her father, who was being kept somewhere else for safety reasons. Lex had managed to visit her only twice during those months, but those short visits had only deepened the respect she had for him, and for what he was willing to do to bring Lionel down. Not to mention he’d taken to wearing white, which for some reason, made him look even more sexy than his dark colors. Many of those long nights, alone in that small house, she’d found herself filling the lonely darkness with thoughts of the handsome billionaire, who she knew must be extremely skilled in the sensual arts. Most of her dreams had been filled with him demonstrating those skills, over and over and over until she woke aroused and aching--with only her hands to bring much needed relief.
“You look a little heated, Chloe. Everything all right.”
She nearly jumped out of her seat at the smooth voice next to her ear. Her body was already burning up, but she felt her cheeks heat even more as she turned to meet Lex’s gaze. She noted he’d managed to slide into the booth next to her without her noticing--and from the expression on his face, had been watching her closely for some time. Flustered, she tried to gather her wits about her, at least enough to not sound like the simple, stammering girl she felt like.
Although the feelings she was having for Lex were anything but simple, and anything but pure.
“Chloe? Are you okay?” The concern in his tone suddenly alerted her that she’d spent too long in silence, something that usually was not a problem with her when conversing with him.
“Sorry, Lex. Just lost in my own thoughts.” It wasn’t her greatest bout of verbal judo, in fact, it was rather bland, but she couldn’t muster anything else. Her body was already liquefying at the way his eyes were focused on hers, a small smile on his face.
“Must have been some interesting thoughts to work up a sweat, Chloe.”
Her cheeks grew hotter at the teasing tone of his words, and the way his eyes quickly skimmed over her appearance, lingering for a moment on her chest.
Temptation, thy name was Lex.
“Don’t you wish you knew, Lex.” She wasn’t quite sure where the flirty tone in her voice came from, but the surprised delight in his eyes told her it was the right response to take. Feeling a spurt of pride, she lost herself for a moment in his eyes, unaware that his hand had moved over to grab her book.
She jumped as his fingers brushed over hers as he withdrew the book, the touch sending tingles down her spine. So focused on the feeling, she barely saw him glance down at the open page, his eyebrow rising as he obviously read something interesting. Dread flooded through her as she suddenly remembered what she’d just been reading. Swallowing hard, she told herself there was no way he could have noticed the same passage she had, considering how many words were on the two pages.
“A secret love driving you to madness? Something you’d like to tell me, Chloe?”
Damn. It was simply uncanny how he could do this to her. Not to mention his eyes were causing her desire to swell, centering in a heated pool between her thighs. But the last thing she could do was let him see how unsettled she was in his presence and by his words. He already had her at enough of a disadvantage.
“It’s just a book, Lex. Not one of my favorites either, but required reading for class.” There, that should turn things down a bit, focusing on school. Not that she wasn’t 18 now, a senior, and most definitely legal for just about anything he might have in mind. And she had a pretty vivid imagination.
“Really? I’ve always been fascinated by the dynamic between Mr. Rochester and Jane--such total opposites on the surface, but more alike than either realizes underneath.”
Her heart sped up again as she listened to him, her eyes locking on his as he leaned just a bit closer.
“She might be a young, naïve woman, but she has a passion and a fire underneath. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t be able to stand up for and to feel such emotion for Mr. Rochester.”
She was barely breathing as he wove a spell over her with his words. Unconsciously, she licked her dry lips, watching his eyes flash as he leaned over until their heads were nearly touching.
“There’s just something about forbidden love--simmering passion just waiting to explode--”
She was seconds away from leaning forward and capturing his lips, when a loud call of her name brought her back to the present. Jumping back, sure her cheeks must be bright red, she tried to compose herself as Clark approached the booth, wearing his usual sweet but clueless grin. A grin that faded as he noted her companion.
“Lex.”
Chloe frowned as she heard the coolness of Clark’s voice as he addressed Lex, knowing that Lex and Clark were not on the best of terms. She knew why of course, but Clark didn’t know she knew. Lex had told her about Clark’s discovery of his ‘Clark Room’ in the mansion and she now knew why Clark had acted the way he had at Lionel’s trial. Since Lionel’s conviction, Lex and Clark had cautiously been working towards patching up what they could of their friendship, but she knew both held no real hope they could go back to things as they were before.
Despite that tension, she was thankful that her friend seemed oblivious to the undercurrents flying between herself and Lex. She tried for a smile, although she really wanted to deck him as she could feel Lex withdrawing next to her, and cursed her mind which was now happily occupied in imagining what might have happened had they not been interrupted.
“Clark, impeccable timing as usual.”
She looked at Lex, knowing him well enough now to hear the irritation in his voice. Could it be he too was regretting the missed opportunity? Or was it the tension that was so familiar now whenever Clark and he were in the same room?
“Well, Lana is supposed to get off in a half hour and we’re going to catch a movie, so I figured I’d get here a little early and help out until she’s done.”
Chloe rolled her eyes as she noted Lex kept his gaze cool as Clark’s eyes followed the brunette behind the counter. Despite Lana’s sojurn in Paris, and her on again/off again relationship with the school’s new football coach, she and Clark still couldn’t seem to move on from each other.
She bit her lip as Lex suddenly spoke, his words for Clark but his eyes definitely focused on her.
“Well, I’ll leave you to your evening. Chloe, a pleasure as always.”
She shivered at the low tone of his voice, feeling his eyes lock with hers. Her breath stopped as he leaned in a bit closer, aware that Clark was now watching them closely.
“If you want to continue our discussion, Chloe, feel free to stop by the mansion tonight.” With that, he turned, nodding to Clark and strode from the Talon, without looking back.
Chloe watched him go, her mind alight with what had just passed, wondering if she’d read him right. Had he really invited her to continue their discussion on Jane Eyre… or continue what Clark had interrupted with his arrival?
“Chloe, what were you and Lex discussing?”
She jolted out of her now heated fantasies of what option she wanted Lex to have meant, at Clark’s voice. Seeing the suspicious look on his face, she realized he couldn’t possibly know of her more laviscious thoughts towards the bald billionaire, but was more than likely worried about what being friends with Lex might do to him. He was becoming as bad as Lana with making everything about him.
“Jane Eyre, Clark. We were discussing Jane Eyre.” She saw him relax, forcing down the irritation she felt at having to defend her friendship with Lex. Although if she had her way, that relationship would soon go far past just ‘friends.’ At least, she hoped that’s what would happen if she took Lex up on his offer.
Only one way to find out.
“Clark, you and Lana enjoy your movie. I think I’m going to head home to do some more reading.” She noted the farm boy had focused his attention on Lana now, as he was wont to do after a five minute period of not looking at the brunette.
“See you later, Chloe.”
Relieved and annoyed at being dismissed so easily now by her so called friend, she picked up her things and strode from the Talon, her mind putting her irritation with Clark away, already focusing on what the evening might bring.
If she had her way, her very own Mr. Rochester would be meeting his downfall tonight-- in a woman who was definitely more of a challenge than Jane.
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