For David, Esther, and Tasha - "Firsts" (PG-13)

Tonight will be tough for a lot of you---and for some, we won't be watching at all. So, I wrote this piece to give some peace and to remember when friendship Chlex ruled the airwaves and for what might have been. Enjoy.

Title: For David, Esther, and Tasha - "Firsts"

Author: PMD

e-mail: mary.davidson@sympatico.ca

Rating: PG-13 (some language)

Category: Friendship, Chlex, Lex's and Chloe's POV's, AU

Spoilers: Anything is fair game in Smallville

Summary: Firsts lead to a life together.

Disclaimer: To whomever owns Smallville, its characters, Bruce Wayne, Mr. Clean, and the song lyrics to If My Heart Had Wings, I'm just borrowing them, will give them back, not making any money with their use in this piece, so don't sue me.

Archive: At BAFsFF, BtS, BT2, Electricchlex, MD, N.S. Forums, and SPP, for the time being. If anybody else wants it, all they have to do is ask.

Feedback: Yes I would love feedback.

Author Notes: This is dedicated to three very special friends. David, who said, this is what we need at the moment. And Esther, who can't live without her Chlex fix. And Tasha who has reborn my faith in Chlex---with her words and her gracious support. Thanks, guys, for being there on a journey of mine, that I hope to keep going for a while longer. Enjoy.

For David, Esther, and Tasha - "Firsts" - by PMD

Chloe's POV

Metropolis

I've always wondered about the journey being more fun then the actual destination and I have to say, with us, it seemed to be.

As I lay back in the bed, I close my eyes to my present and think to my past and how I got here:

First Meeting

I walk down the corridor towards the Torch and hear voices. I recognize Clark’s voice but who's the second?

I walk in and I stare at the other guy. First thought: Oh my God---something's happened to my father. I look worried for a minute until he speaks. He's impressed by me? A billionaire is impressed by me. Yeah, more like he's scared of my ability to uncover the truth and he's buttering me up.

Good lord, did he just offer me a job at the Inquisitor? Okay---he's impressed by me and yet he offers me a job at some rag? Talk about a contradiction in terms. Hmmmm---wait, that look in his eyes---he's just joking.

He shakes my hand and then leaves the room, after our little interaction. Then I turn to look at Clark.

"What?" I ask.

"You were kinda rude."

"I was not!"

"Chloe!"

"Okay---he threw me off balance and you know how I am when I'm thrown off balance. Now, come on---we have work to do."

~

Back to the Present

Lex's POV

I sit outside in the corridor, waiting to be let into her room. I smile, remembering a first between the two of us---and then groan, remembering the pain that it caused her. I close my eyes and move back into time.

~

First Interview

Clark begged me to see her---to give her an interview. It would make her day, week, month, and probably year. So I finally said yes. I mean, what kind of questions would a teen reporter come up with for me---boxers or briefs. Boy, was I wrong.

She's sitting across from me now, a little smirk on her face and then:

She asked about Luthor Corp? Okay, what happened with the little embarrassing questions? Luthor, you have underestimated this teen top reporter---way underestimated her. I'll have to be more careful next time.

I say a famous saying, and she knows who it is. I'm impressed, really impressed now. Then we're interrupted and after I say something about Verbal judo, I'm gone.

I wish I hadn't though---she got hurt. And now I'm standing by her bed, looking over at the ridiculous flowers that were sent to her. I guess the horse that won got a basket of flowers.

I talk to Clark and then leave, to get the people who did this but later on that night, I came back---just to watch her sleep. To make sure she was okay. I think at that moment, I knew how important she was to my very being---as friends.

~

Back To The Present

Chloe's POV

I look out the window, wondering where he is. Then I smile, remembering a time where I knew where he always was, by my side, taking down his father and I frown at the pain I caused him too:

~

First Time Working Together

I was so afraid that I picked the lesser of two evils to take down the other evil.

Lex promised to protect me and I believed him---still do to this day. And boy did we work well together.

I remember staying late one night and he was staring at me every so often. I gave him a glare back and he laughed---he laughed. I smiled at that and then looked at him cross-eyed. And then I found myself laughing as he did the same.

"Goofball!"

"Goofball?"

"Yeah, live with it, Mr. Clean."

He gets up from where he is and walks over to me. "Sure, Hazel Fury."

I grin. "I'll take that as a compliment."

"You should---I'd rather have you on my side than as an enemy."

"Same here, dude."

~

A few nights later, it happened. I was able to discern the truth from people and I went to see him. He wanted me to try it on someone and then it hit me---try it on him. Find out why he still seeked his father's approval or whatever the Luthor's seek. My heart broke with his answer; he wanted his father's love---and shattered with him knowing he would never get it. I ran out of the room that night, vowing never to tell anybody. And I cried into the first light of dawn.

I remembered after Clark saved me, driving over to the mansion and him opening the door, enveloping me in a hug. I whispered:

"Your secret is safe with me, always."

"I know," he whispered back. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"I'll protect you, Chloe. No matter what."

And he did, to the very end.

~

Back To The Present

Lex's POV

I open my eyes to a noise and notice the door is still closed and nobody has come for me yet.

I close my eyes again, remembering a time that I started to get to know the card player, known as Chloe Sullivan.

~

First Time Playing Card.

"Lex, I'm bored."

"Better bored than dead."

"Okay, I'm dead bored."

I laugh. "Only you would say that, Chloe."

"Awwww---come on---stay a while longer---we'll play cards. Please---I know this is for my own safety until I testify at your father's trial as a surprise witness but really, can't you stay a minute more."

"Okay, a half an hour but no longer. My father would wonder where I am otherwise."

"Goody!"

I roll my eyes at her happiness and then sit down, across from her.

"Okay, what do you want to play?"

"Strip poker?"

My eyes narrow. "Righttttt---like that's going to happen."

"Poker?"

"Your father is in the other room---I will not be a party to that either."

"Geez---and I heard you were such a bad ass in your teenage years. Guess that's false, eh?"

"Not by much."

"Okay, what do you want to play then, Jerk?"

I raise an eyebrow---guess I deserved that.

"How about Cribbage?"

"How about Crazy 8's?"

"Crazy 8's it is."

"You know how to play Crazy 8's, Lex?"

"No but I bet you'll show me how too."

And that is the first and only time that I lost to a girl---without trying to lose to a girl. And it cemented our friendship forever.

~

Chloe's POV

Back To The Present

I feel the sun on my face and open my eyes to the present. Then I remember a talk we had a few years ago---in the sunlit backyard of his mansion---if that's what you can call it. I close my eyes to the remembrance:

~

A First Real Talk

"Hey."

He looks up at me. "Hey."

"What's wrong?" I ask, sitting beside him on the bench outside the mansion.

"Nothing."

"Come on---what's wrong, Alex?" I ask him again, pushing slightly with my shoulder.

He looks straight ahead and then down at his lap, letting out a sigh.

"It's my brother's birthday."

"Lucas?"

"No---Julian."

"Oh," I say.

He looks at me. "Guess I really haven't told you much about him, have I?"

"Only that he died but not how."

"Actually, I lied. This isn't his birthday---it's his death day."

I lean into his arm and sigh. "I'm sorry, Alex."

I look up as he looks down. For the first time I see tears there, shimmering in the ocean of blue and I feel them pricking at my eyes too.

"Chloe---my mother killed him."

"What? Why?" I ask as I pull away.

"You know why."

"Your father. He would have set you up against each other and she didn't want this to happen."

He nods.

"But he didn't send her away or anything."

"No---because I took the fall for her. She just wouldn't have been able to handle---"

"---his rage. But you couldn't either--that's why you had that psychotic break at school."

"But I got better---she might not have. And knowing my father, he would have disowned her and not let me see her ever again. I did it for her and for me. I knew eventually I would have been able to handle it. And it was a small price to pay, not to ever have my father's love."

"I know," I state, pulling him into my arms and feeling him letting the tears flow---hiding it from the world but not from me.

This is the moment I fell in love with him---such a noble boy to take on the slings and arrows meant for somebody weaker. And a man later in life who helped a young boy get out from under a tyrant doctor and die in peace; who gave up his safety to save a bunch of students----who opened his heart to a friend, after he feared rejection.

~

The Present

Lex's POV

"Mr. Luthor?"

I look up at the doctor. "Yes?"

"You can go in in a minute. I just want to check in or her first."

"Okay."

I watch the doctor go into her room and close my eyes again; remembering the time I finally admitted how I felt about her and our journey to this place right now.

~

First Time In Love

I was working quietly at my desk when the door to my office opened.

"Sir?"

I looked up to see a very worried manservant.

"What's wrong?"

"There is a crying female in the corridor wanting to speak to you."

"If it's Lana, tell her to talk to Clark."

"It's not Miss Lang---it's Miss Sullivan."

I get up and walk around the desk. "What? Let her in, now."

He nods at me and goes out, leading a sobbing Chloe in and settling her down on the couch.

"Sir, I'll bring some coffee?"

I nod and watch him leave. Then I walk over to the couch and sit beside her.

"Chloe," I whisper, saddened by her tears. "Chloe, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"And here I thought we were friends."

She sniffles, looking at me. "So."

"So--friends try not to lie to each other."

"You and Clark did."

"Chloe, I'm talking about you and me here."

"We're closer to each other than you and Clark are?"

"I hope so."

"Why?"

"Because I like you more than I like Clark."

Her eyes brighten and then slide into normalcy again.

"Chloe, why are you crying?"

"You'll think I'm some sad excuse of a girl if I tell you."

"No I won't."

"Yes you will."

"Chloe!"

"All right, don't brow beat me. See, there's this guy I really like and he just thinks of me---"

"Let me guess, his name is Clark?"

"No--I'm over him."

"Okay. So, what does this guy think of you as?"

"A friend---can you believe that?"

"That's nice."

"Yeah but I want more."

"You want him to love you as more than a friend."

"Yeah---is that too much to ask for? I mean look at Lana and all her boyfriends---and me---what---one guy who didn't love me? A guy who could run fast and ran away from me? A one time summer affair? Shit, Lex, am I meteor rocks to relationships or what?"

I stare at her tear-stained face and her blood shot eyes and think, this woman is beautiful---gorgeous---breath-takingly---God, I love her---I just didn't know it until---she might not be available.

Well, I want her to be happy, with or without me. So:

"Who is he?"

"Eh?"

"The guy---who's the idiot. My brother Lucas?"

"No---I'm not into playboys."

"Well, that leaves out Bruce. So, who is he?"

She looks down and I barely hear, "You."

"What did you say?"

She looks up, hope in her face. "You?"

I smile at her before leaning in and whispering, "I have been a fool not to see it sooner. Sorry it took so long in coming, Chloe."

Before she can say a word, I capture her lips, as she has evidently has captured my heart.

Mother always said hope for the best and deal with the worst. With Chloe by my side, I have hope for the future and somebody to help deal with the worst.

~

The Present

"Mr. Luthor?"

I open my eyes and look at the nurse, standing before me, a bundle in her arms.

"The doctor said you could take your daughter in to see your wife, now."

I smile, getting up and looking at the bundle of joy in her arms. The greatest gift ever given to mankind---a child to love and protect. The hope of the world, with ten fingers and ten toes. Appropriately, her name was Hope.

From that first time we admitted how we felt, the road laid to this; first date; first fight; first making up; first real wedding for me and her; first real wedding night and then first pregnancy.

How I loved her during that time and how she was all over the place. The hormones went wild but I always knew how to calm her down---a song--something she vowed to sing to our child, the first day of their lives.

"Mr. Luthor---would you like to hold her?"

I nod yes.

The nurse places her in my arms and I look down at my daughter. Her blue eyes are striking---like looking in a mirror----sky blue and probing. I notice she has a tuft of hair---thankfully blonde.

I see a slight smile from her and then a yawn.

"Come on, little one. Let's go see your mother, shall we?"

I walk towards the door and the nurse opens it for me.

The doctor is no longer in the room---must have left quietly for me not to hear.

"Lex, is that---?"

"---our Hope, yes. Would you like---"

"---to hold her? Yes, please."

"I don't know---what will you give me to give her up to you?" I quip.

"I'll let you live," she quips back.

I walk over and place her in Chloe's arms.

"Hi, baby. I'm your mother. And that bald guy over there---well, he's your daddy. You could have done worse, I guess."

I snort at that and she looks at me.

"Sorry."

"It's okay---I know you love me."

She smiles and gestures that I come closer. I lean down and kiss her forehead and whisper, "I love you, Chloe."

"I know," she whispers back.

I back away and go over to get a chair. Than I sit, watching her talk to our daughter, her words soft as a warm summer breeze and I wonder---why did I go out with all those brunettes when all I needed was a pesky blonde who is still my best friend---and my wife.

"Lex?"

"Yes?"

"I'm so happy now but I'm afraid."

I get out of my chair and sit on the side of her bed. I touch our daughter’s cheek and then look at my wife.

"You won't be your mother, Chloe."

"But---"

"No but's. I didn't have a chance to tell you because you went into labor."

"What?"

"They've found a cure----you're never going to have to worry about what happened to your mother happening to you. You'll be happy forever---or I'll try to make sure you are that most of the time."

Her eyes light up with joy and then she looks down.

"Hope, you are the hope of futures to come. You won't have to go through the fear I've had. You know, little one, I never thought this would ever happen to me---having you as a daughter and your father---I didn't think I could be happy like I am now. But I am---and I'm not making much sense at the moment, either. Maybe its better I sing you to sleep and we'll talk later."

"Yes, your mother has a voice like an angel---and a temper like the devil himself."

She looks at me now, with a classic smirk she learned from me. "Excuse me, Mister, but it's your father who is the devil, not me. However, I do have a fierceness of a tigress to fight for those I love."

"And I, a tiger's fierceness to protect those I love too. Especially, our little baby tiger cub here."

She nods and then looks down at our daughter.

"So, you go to daddy and he'll rock you while I sing to you, okay, Hope Lillian?"

My eyes water, remembering how we pondered and looked at names for our future child, while still in her womb. She was bound and determined it was to be a girl. So the boy's names were left by the wayside.

After a couple of nights, throwing out names, it hit her.

'Hope, for the hope she will give to us and the world.'

I remember nodding and adding, 'And Lillian, for my mother.'

'Absolutely.'

"Alex?"

I'm brought back to the present and I smile. "Yes?"

"Here's Hope."

I lean in to take our future into my arms. Then I sit on the chair and rock her a bit. Chloe starts to hum and then, she starts to sing:

"I found out the hard way
How easy love could be
I had nothing to believe in
Til you believed in me
If love is the only answer
Then why are we afraid
Let's be like heaven's angels
Who've come to lead the way

And if my heart had wings
I'd fly in to the sky
And bring back all the love
That's missing from our lives
And if my heart had wings
Then maybe I could see
Just where you find the faith
To love like you love me

I see so many hurting
The way I used to be
And I wish that I could give to them
The hope that you gave me
Your love is the river
That washes away my pain
And out of the dark night love's light
Will lead us home again

And if my heart had wings
I'd fly in to the sky
And bring back all the love
That's missing from our lives
And if my heart had wings
Then maybe I could see
Just where you find the faith
To love like you love me

Just where you find the faith
To love like you love me

To love like you love me"

As she finishes, she yawns and I look from her to our daughter, who has drifted off to sleep.

"Am I boring my two girls?" I quip.

"You be in labor for 10 hours and see how peppy you are," she answers back, with a sleepy grin.

"I'm sorry."

"Alex, let's finish this later, when I'm more---awake."

I get up and lean over, whispering to her, "Thanks for this first, Chloe. And all of them in the past and in the future."

I kiss her gently on the cheek and then back away.

"Anytime, Alex. Now, let me get some rest so I can do another first, later on."

"And that is?"

"Breast feeding," she states, yawning again.

"Very well. Goodnight, Chloe. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too, Alex," she whispers, as she falls asleep.

As I carry our daughter towards the door, I turn around. This is the best first of all---the first time I have a family who counts, trusts, and loves me. Unlike the one I grew up in in so many ways. And someday, we'll add to it but for tonight, I’ll bask in what I have now; my wife’s and daughters undaunting love.

The End.