Shenanigans (NC 17 duh)

A/N: Blue: Here's our new one. It's short for our standards. It's got humor and lovin' though, so no complianing. Enjoy

A/N: Sabby: Many of you wanted drunken shenanigans, so here you go. And don't worry, the others will be posted too, all in good time...and probably with more polls.




The band was awful, the decorations were tacky, the food was uninspired and bland, the guests were a mixture of hicks and small town ‘high society’, and there was not enough cheap champagne to make Lex forget any of the above mentioned facts.

In short, it was the most horrible wedding reception he’d ever been to, and that included the ones he’d thrown himself.

He leaned slightly towards his right and whispered into his table neighbor’s ear.

“You know, I saw this coming when she said ‘I don’t know if I can ever trust him *sigh* but I can’t help but love him so much’.” He was shocked to find he did a reasonable imitation of the bride’s voice.

The bride in question was at the moment getting her feet trampled on by her groom, trying to pull off a classic slow waltz. The easiest of all dancing steps and the guy still managed to fuck it up. It was pathetic, really. What was so hard about right foot forward, left foot forward and to the side, and bring right foot close? Lex had learned that when he was nine.

“Listen,” she responded to the voice in her ear, “would you forget about them? We’re playing a game here unless you’d already like to forfeit.”

They’d both come to the reception because it was expected of them. Not because they really wanted to be here. So, they’d made their own fun. At least it was supposed to be fun. It had degenerated into a drinking game.

How hard was it to find someone who wanted to fuck you at a wedding? Weren’t weddings famous for being a veritable meat market? Figured that Clark and Lana’s guests wouldn’t be any fun at all.

Both she and Lex had already hit on a few people and yet they were both still sitting with each other instead of fumbling with an almost complete stranger in a closet.

However, Chloe thought the dress she was in was to blame. She had agreed, for some reason, to be a bridesmaid. It was, of course, pink. But it covered her from her elbows down to her ankles. It was cut highly at the throat so her tits, one of her best physical attributes, weren’t on display. Plus, there was a garden of ugly, satiny, pink flowers dotting her chest. There was a bow on her ass so no one could look at that, either. She had no idea what Lex’s problem was. He clearly wasn’t trying hard enough.

“This isn’t fair,” she lamented. “Lana promised me sex.” Yes, the girl had blushed as she said it but she’d assured Chloe that there were plenty of eligible men that would be at the reception. “But look, there’s not so much as a tongue in sight.”

Lex turned his head to look at her with a disbelieving stare. “You were promised sex?” He couldn’t believe Lana could actually make such a promise. A chuckle bubbled up and he didn’t bother to hide it before he finally remarked, “I only got the promise of free parking. That’s unfair.”

He turned his gaze back to the crowd, sweeping it with a glance. “And it’s your turn anyway,” he commented on her first statement.

There weren’t many people who looked even remotely interesting, so it wasn’t a wonder both of them had turned down the first couple of victims they’d picked out for the other.

A guy on the edge of the dance floor caught Lex’s attention. Cheap suit, but not as cheap as the hicks’ attire. And he had a camera hanging around his neck, taking occasional snapshots of the party guests.

“That one.” He pointed at the boy with the hand that held his champagne glass and leaned back. “He’s probably a virgin, but he looks like he’d be willing to do everything if you tell him to.”

Chloe sighed. That’s not what she was looking for tonight. She wanted wild monkey sex to end her dry spell. But beggars couldn’t be choosers.

“Fine,” she said, downing the last of her champagne. “I’m going in.” Whoever got lucky first got…she couldn’t even remember what the prize was. Apart from the actual sex, of course.

Chloe walked over and started talking to the dude with the camera. Henry. But she only stayed there for a few minutes. She understood why he was alone.

Lex looked surprised that she was back so soon. “Halitosis. No thank you.” She sat down next to him and scanned the crowd for a female that he could go and hit on.

“Oh, bingo.” She tapped on his shoulder. “Four o’clock. Redhead. Wearing the off the shoulder number. Go!”

Lex’s brows arched as he looked at the woman in question. Had to be part of the small town ‘high society’. He shrugged and got up from the table, taking his champagne with him.

He approached her and complimented her on her dress, gave her a charming smile, nodded when she answered and managed to be witty as he realized that this one was a no go when she waved her left hand in front of her mouth as she laughed.

Returning to the table, Lex finished off his glass on the way and snagged two more from a waiter that was whisking by.

Chloe gaped at him as he sat down next to her again and moved one of the glasses closer to her. “Married. And I’m just not that kind of guy.”

He scanned the crowd again, looking for a suitable victim, someone not too old, not too young and hopefully without a serious case of bad breath.

“At the buffet, the blonde guy. Just ignore the cowboy boots.”

She titled her head to the side. He wasn’t that bad, actually. She got up, glass in hand, and did her best sauntering she could pull off in the dress.

Again, after only a few minutes she knew why he was alone. She’d given him a few well placed words and practically stomped back over to Lex.

“Grabbed my ass.” Lex looked over towards the bar but the guy had disappeared. “I mean, yeah, I wanted him to do that later. But, really, so rude.”

This was turning out even worse than she’d imagined. She rubbed her hands together as she looked over the room. One of them was going to get some sex out of this night. If it killed her.

“No. No. Ugh, double no. Mrs. Kent. Nell. No. Oh, hey.” It was a woman about her age. Fresh faced and laughing at something that Clark was saying. “Ok, the girl with Clark. If she’s laughing at something he’s saying you know that she’ll be nice.”

Lex followed her gaze and had to agree that she had to be nice. Either that, or she was still laughing because Clark had said something so ridiculously stupid that she couldn’t stop laughing or might have to start crying.

At that moment, Lana sidled up to her freshly baked husband and pulled him away, a little too forcefully for it to be anything other than a jealous scene. Lex snorted and got up from the table, making his way over to the woman Chloe had indicated.

He put on his most charming smile and inquired what was so amusing about his friend. She told him that she found it hilarious how Clark had commented that he thought it was ‘nice’ how close she and her friend were. Lex arched a brow in question and the young woman explained. They talked for another two minutes before she went off to look for her friend and Lex went back to the table shaking his head.

“Gay.” He sat down and picked up his glass again, swirling the liquid inside it and noting the decided lack of sparkling. “Maybe you should hit on her?” The woman, Maple, had told him she was here with her girlfriend, but it was good enough for a joke.

Chloe wasn’t above trying something new if she had enough alcohol. Friction was friction. Besides, that meant that the woman might actually know what to do with a clitoris. “She is kinda cute,” she remarked as her eyes followed the girl.

“And I am desperate.” The girl had a nice figure and shiny hair. “But you wouldn’t get to watch, you know,” she commented.

Lex laughed and shook his head, not surprised that Chloe ran with the idea. She’d had her share of champagne after all. “It’s not really that interesting, watching two girls getting it on.”

It got interesting once you were allowed to join them and play. Ah, those had been the good old days. But he doubted there was anyone on this party that wouldn’t gasp in indignation at the idea of a threesome.

“What do I get if I make out with her?” This was the only thing staving off boredom and depression. Talking to Lex. If he offered her a Porsche the game was totally on. But she doubted he would, based on what he’d just said.

“The tongue you’ve been promised,” he countered.

See, nothing all that good. “Blech, not worth it.” She looked around at their paltry pickings. How had this happened?

“Pete even brought a date,” she pointed out. He had been her fallback position. If she couldn’t find anyone else. “I thought that was money in the bank.”

Lex looked at her, not believing what he was hearing. Pete Ross? “Pete?” He shook his head sadly. “You really are desperate.”

Pete Ross hadn’t grown after high school, rather he hadn’t changed at all since then and was still the same unassuming, five foot five guy he’d always been. There was nothing remotely interesting about Peter Ross that made him a potentially worthwhile fuck.

Fingers digging into his forearm brought his gaze down to see that Chloe was gripping him tightly. “A woman has needs, Lex,” she whined.

Lex looked again at Pete Ross, then at her and patted the hand on his arm consolingly. “I don’t mean to spoil it for you, but what they say about black guys’ dicks? Statistics speak different.”

When Lex was bored, he liked looking up all kinds of weird things on the internet. And yes, penis statistics had been among them. He’d grinned as he got solid proof he was above average. Anyway, he was trying to tell Chloe something for her own good. Right.

“So you’d probably be better off taking care of those needs yourself.”

“Been there, done that, it’s not the same.” She huffed out a sigh. This was supposed to be a fun night. Not one spent with Lex drinking at the sad sack table.

“It’s different when you’re all sweaty with someone.” Chloe knew her voice had a far off quality. It was well earned. She was thinking of the last time she’d had some really good sex with another person. It had been far too long.

Which was why she was more determined than Lex. He still took care of his ‘urges’ when he needed to with some woman in Metropolis. She’d never gotten up the courage to ask if she was a pro or just a fuck buddy.

Lex chuckled at Chloe’s predicament, guessing that she had to be pretty hard up if she was taking this so seriously. “I’m amused, if a bit surprised, that you really believed Lana’s promise of sex.”

This was a Kent wedding reception. Of course there wouldn’t really be anything worth hunting. Lex was just indulging in their little game to fight off the boredom that would probably last for another few hours, unless he made his excuses and got the hell out.

He looked over at Chloe and could see that she was pouting now, nursing her champagne and glaring at all the couples on the dance floor. She’d honestly been looking for a suitable fuck.

“Well, if you really want to get laid, the best you can do is get out of this dress first,” he offered with a sideways glance at the atrocity that Lana had made her bridesmaids wear.

“Because as long as you’re wearing that?” He shook his head sadly. No one would pick her up while she was wearing something that could hide Texas underneath all those bows and flowers.

“This so isn’t fair.” She knew she sounded like a put off three year old but she didn’t care. She kicked her dreadful shoes off under the table. “You guys get to look all dashing and sexy,” she waved her hand in his general direction. “And I get to look like Pepto.”

She felt Lex’s hand on her shoulder. He sighed dramatically, “I wish I could argue that point.”

Moving her shoulder around in order to dislodge his paw, she looked down at the dress. Having Lex tell her it was hideous had made her mood all the more worse. “What if I cut it up to here?” She indicated a few inches above her knees. “Would that help?”

At least she could show off her legs that way.

Lex considered her dress, looked down at where she was indicating, imagining what she would look like in a decent dress with that much leg showing, but then brought himself back to reality and the monstrosity she was actually wearing.

“You’d look like the cheap, generic version of pepto.”

Chloe huffed and flopped back in her chair looking even more put off than before. “Kay,” she said with a pout. “So, you’re saying I have to parade around in my underwear?”

Lex wondered just what kind of underwear she was wearing and then decided it didn’t matter, really. He took a sip from his champagne and imagined Chloe quasi streaking through the crowd. “It would get the crowd’s attention.” He smirked.

Lex was being totally unhelpful. She knew that he was getting a kick out of her problem. But that’s because he could get sex anytime, anywhere and with whomever he wanted. Save for this place, of course. It wasn’t as easy for her. At least it hadn’t been as of late.

“You can’t even see my cleavage.” Chloe knew how to play to her strengths. “I’ve got amazing tits.”

“Yepp,” Lex agreed. “Unfortunately, they're covered in big pink flowers at the moment.” His eyes were resting on the aforementioned monstrosities that adorned her chest.

Her eyes followed his. “Sorry guys, you probably can’t breathe in there, can you?” She worked two fingers under her collar and used her other hand to fan some air down the gap.

Lex chuckled as he watched the display. “It’s your fault for agreeing to be a bridesmaid.” He’d pointed this out numerous times tonight.

“Just saying.” Seeing that Chloe was beginning to get more huffy than pouty, Lex decided to continue their game before she got seriously angry. Now that he knew this wasn’t just a game, and she was trying to really find someone, he scanned the crowd more carefully. “Okay, let’s see.”

There was a guy standing by himself near the band podium, tapping his feet in time with the music and looking around aimlessly. He was a bit older than the ones he’d picked for Chloe before, but not too old. Maybe in his late thirties, early forties. Reasonable suit, well groomed and seemed a likely candidate for a bit of fun without attachments.

“That one. Go try your luck.”

Chloe looked over at Lex’s suggestion. He was about 15 years older than her and she wouldn’t have considered him earlier in the evening but her veins were pumped full of liquid courage so she got to her feet. She decided to leave her shoes under the table.

When she came back to Lex, she wondered what her face looked like. Chloe was shocked. And that didn’t happen often.

He was looking at her carefully. “Good choice. Nice guy. Looking for a third to join him and his wife.” She watched Lex’s eyes widen. “He knows Mr. Kent from the fucking rotary club!”

Chloe drank some much needed champagne. That one was going to stick with her for awhile. Lex started to laugh.

Even though she was annoyed with him, she was still looking for a woman for him being it was his turn. So, she was delighted when she saw a tall blonde looking their way. She was totally checking Lex out.

“You’ve got a bite. Standing about three feet away from the horn section.” The woman was still looking at Lex. Chloe sighed. It was just her luck that he was going to get some and she wasn’t. “If I can’t have sex in the closet tonight, you totally have to.”

Lex looked at the woman she was indicating. Tall, leggy blonde. Very leggy. “Now that’s a dress,” he commented as he appreciated the obviously expensive designer gown that flattered all the curves and valleys perfectly. “Excuse me.”

He put his glass aside and went to go talk to the beauty that was so completely out of place at this shindig.

Five minutes later, he returned, still completely shocked. He was aware of course that something like this wasn’t uncommon. Some of his former friends had dabbled with it. But they’d never looked so fucking convincing. And well, he usually noticed. It worried him that he hadn’t until four minutes into their conversation.

Lex looked a little paler than usual and sat down on his seat like an automaton, grabbing his glass and downing it in one gulp. Chloe couldn’t contain her curiosity any longer.

“What happened?”

Lex turned his gaze on her and swallowed again, slowly getting over the surprise.

“You’ll never guess what she hides under that dress.” For emphasis, he looked pointedly at his own lap.

Chloe tried not to gape as she looked over at the woman. She got caught but the woman didn’t seem to mind. She only laughed and raised her glass to Chloe. Not wanting to be rude, Chloe picked up her own glass, made a toasting gesture and then gulped down the liquid.

Her eyes ran over the woman. “He looks better than I do.” And she didn’t mean just tonight. She meant in general. She was in much better shape, dressed better. God, life really was unfair.

“He does not look better than you.” Lex almost sounded like he was saying the words more out of habit than real feeling. Chloe usually pointed out all of the women who were more attractive than her. Well, she’d started doing that when the sex had dried up.

“Chloe,” she knew that tone required her to look at Lex. “He just wears more make up and Dolce.” She didn’t care. She was being unreasonable and didn’t want Lex using logic.

She downed Lex’s glass of champagne and was starting to feel tingly. Finally.

“I give this place 20 more minutes. If nothing happens...” Which it wouldn’t. “I’m going home to Lyle.”

Lex watched as she downed a champagne glass that someone else had left on the table. She’d really had more than her share and maybe he should stop her. But it was such fun to watch her when she was drunk.

Her last comment made him curious though. He’d also never heard of this Lyle before. “If you’ve got a guy at home waiting, why are you looking for sex here?” Maybe he’d gotten something wrong.

A waiter appeared and Chloe snagged two more glasses from his tray, handing one over to him as she drank from hers. “The manufacturer named it,” she slurred slightly, “was on the box.”

Lex almost spit the champagne back into his glass as the pieces came together. “You’ve got a dildo named Lyle?” He could scarcely hold back his chuckling. “That’s kind of sad.” Pathetic, really, but he didn’t want to say that.

What was there to say when your attractive female friend told you she planned to go home to get off with her vibrator?

“Well,” he drawled and contemplated his glass, “at least Lyle won’t complain about the dress.”

“S’true,” she said, picking up another glass. But Lyle wasn’t nearly as fun as a real guy. “But he doesn’t touch me. And I can’t feel his muscles working while we fuck and he doesn’t make nice sounds.” She listed some of the things that she missed now that she wasn’t active with the opposite sex in making of the sex.

Another assy comment from Lex. “What? That buzzing doesn’t get you all hot and bothered?”

She glared at him before putting her head down on the table. She was getting to that tired point. “Nope, I prefer the grunting, groaning, moaning and cursing.”
Chloe moved some hair out of her face so she could look up at Lex. “Don’t you prefer a small hand to your left one?”

Lex looked at her, trying to ignore that she was using her small hand to imitate the movement of jerking off. She’d narrowly missed a stain of incredibly chalky pasta sauce when her head officially met the table.

That was his cue.

“You look like you’ve had enough.” He rounded up the glasses in her immediate reach that still had champagne in them and put them further away.

Chloe really was a lightweight when it came to alcohol. He’d had about five flutes but it hadn’t affected him in the least. Probably because he’d had that pasta and it was now working as some sort of glue that kept the alcohol captive in his stomach and didn’t let it move on to the bloodstream. At least it felt like there was something sticky and heavy in his stomach ever since he’d eaten.

“I just need to regroup,” she protested, but her head still wasn’t making it up from the surface of the table. “Waiter!”

Lex cringed as she yelled and waved her arm in the air.

“I need cake!”

What she really needed was to get out of here before she made a fool of herself.

“Did you get here by car?” he asked as he tried Chloe to right herself up in her chair.

She shook her head. “Kents took me.” And her head was back on the table.

As Lex looked around, trying to find the elder Kents in the crowd, he heard Chloe mutter, “Not going home alone, too depressive.”

She had a point there, he had to admit. There was no one waiting for him at home either and it was a rather boring day of the week. No must see TV that he really wanted to see.

He finally spotted the couple he was looking for in a corner behind the band podium, making out like a couple of rampant teenagers. “Looks like the Kents are not going to be driving you home.” He pointed in their direction so Chloe could see what he was talking about.

Slowly, Chloe picked up her head and looked at what Lex was pointing at. “Are you kidding me?” Mr. and Mrs. Kent were getting pretty hot and heavy for being old and being in public. “Old people are getting play and I’m sitting here alone!” Then she remembered Lex. “Sorry, you know what I mean.” He didn’t count. Like she didn’t count with him.

“Come on, let’s get your cake and I’ll drive you home.” He didn’t want Chloe to get to that loud phase that she sometimes did. There was no reason for other people to hear their conversation. Especially because of the topic.

She looked up at him, rather pathetically. He almost dreaded her next words.

“Lex, do you think I'm a loser that no man will ever want because I talk back and am rude?” It was something she thought a lot about. You were supposed to be yourself but what if yourself was unattractive and no one would ever marry you because of it?

Chloe saw his expression soften just the slightest before he began smirking again. “Nope, I think you're a woman who's unfortunate enough to look for a lay on a Kent party while wearing a Pepto Bismol dress.”

“It's all about the circumstances, really.” He was glad that he didn’t have to lie to her at this point. Chloe was attractive, she just wasn’t attractive right now.

“I didn't mean now...” She put her head back down on the table. “I mean ever. No one loves me, gonna eat some worms today.”

“What do worms have to do with your current predicament?” Lex looked befuddled by her turn of phrase.

Chloe closed her eyes. “It’s a kid’s song.” She cleared her throat. “Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I’m gonna eat some worms today.” She sang the song softly.

She tilted her head up and took stock of the people she knew. “Lana's all married, Clark's all married, Pete has a woman, my dad is dating someone and Lois has a man. And I, I have Lyle. And I’m whining. Which makes me even more of a loser.”

Lex frowned as he watched her spiral down into self-pity, complete with a sad children’s song about eating worms that he could have lived without ever hearing. This was really bad. He wondered how long it had been since she’d gotten laid for it to be this bad. It had to have been more than a month or two.

It was time to take some interceptive action and stop this before she could start crying. Women started crying at the weirdest moments when they were drunk.

“You are not a loser,” he said firmly as he hooked his hand under her arm and hauled her up from the table.

She wobbled precariously on her feet, even though she wasn’t wearing her shoes anymore, and Lex shifted his arm to hold her steady around her waist.

“It not like your some old spinster, or still a virgin, or anything,” he continued as he looked under the table.

The shoes obviously came with the dress, because they were pink frilly high heels with bows on them that Chloe would never wear under any other circumstances. Lex decided she could live without the shoes.

“Come on, let’s get you home and out of the pepto taffeta and flowers.”

Her arms slung around him and she stopped his movement, looking up at him with big sad, totally drunk off her ass eyes. “And now you feel sorry for me, too.”
Uh oh.

Lex coaxed her into walking away from the table and along the dance floor towards the exit of the room.

“My friend could have scored, but instead he had to stay with me so I don’t vomit in my own hair.”

This time, Lex stopped and turned to hold her upright by both arms, looking at her sternly.

“There will be no vomiting in my car.” He put just enough finality into his tone that it should scare her innards into obliging and distract her from her dangerously sad thoughts.

“And I don’t pity you,” he added.

“Are we really going?” She knew she didn’t have to ask. Lex was half dragging her out of the place. “Yes, Chloe,” he said, slowly, as if explaining something to a child. “We’re really going.”

“OK,” she pouted. She saw Clark and Lana talking in a corner. “Lemme go say goodbye to the happy couple.” It was only polite.

Lex knew this was going to be bad but a sick part of him wanted to see it. “Okay.” He kept his arm around her as they walked over to the newlyweds.

Once they were in earshot, he said, “Clark, Lana...we're going.” He turned to Chloe, waiting for the show to begin.

“Oh, Ok.” Lana looked at her friends. Poor them, leaving alone. Well, with each other but not with each other. “Don’t worry, Chloe, it’ll happen for you too someday.”

Chloe couldn’t take the earnest tone of voice. “Whatever, I got there first.” She waved her hand in Clark’s direction.

Lex had to stifle his laughter at the look on the newest Kent’s face. Her face pinched up and she sharply looked over at Clark.

“Have a great night. And all the best.” They would get while the getting was good.

As they were walking out, Lex spied the table with the cake on it. They’d already cut it. “You still want some cake?”

Chloe nodded. “Lots of it. It’d better be good.” She watched as Lex cut a piece out of it. “Get me two.”

“This one is at least three.” He looked over at her. She was practically salivating at the cake. “And there will also be no eating in my car. And if you call me a spoilsport you get to walk home and I won't help you out of the dress.”

Chloe was getting her pout on again, but Lex was relentless on that point. It was a new car after all and getting stains out of leather was not as simple as some people would imagine.

“Just think of all the hundreds of little hooks and eyes that Lana insisted on because they look ‘so much more classy’ than a zipper.”

A girl that couldn’t even form the proper comparative for classy which was not even considered a real adverb in higher circles insisted on a closing device for dresses that had gone out with the century before last.

Lex had laughed heartily and promptly gotten an elbow to the ribs when Chloe had told him about that.

The pout disappeared and turned into a dark look, followed by a snapped. “Fine.” A short pause. “Just promise me you’ll use scissors.”

He looked at the dress again as he led her out of the room and towards the parking lot, balancing the cake on the hand that wasn’t needed to balance Chloe. If he wasn’t a billionaire already, he could probably have made his first million as a waiter.

“I’ll use the big ones,” he promised, “see how many slices we can get out of this.”

Chloe nodded in agreement and grinned. “Make a party out of it, use ‘em as streamers.”

Lex chuckled and shook his head at the idea. “Do you really want pink streamers in your apartment?”

He’d managed to get them to his car and propped Chloe up against the passenger side, placing the cake on top of the hood for the moment. Looking at the open plate, he just knew this was going to get tricky.

Chloe turned around and pawed at the handle for the door. Lex quickly used the little remote in his pocket to unlock the car.

“Just for tonight,” she said, “it’ll be festive.”

~~

“Where’d you put the key?”

Lex was looking at her and suspected he already knew the answer. Chloe didn’t have her purse and he doubted the dress had pockets.

“Oh. They’re in my bag. And the bag is back there.” She waved her hand behind her. “But don’t worry.” She held up her finger and pointed it at him. “I can break in.”

He rolled his eyes at her and leaned against the doorframe with the cake in his hands. “Go for it.”

Chloe nodded and then went to one of the windows. She always kept it unlocked. After about a minute, she was able to work it up enough so she could slide through it.

As she was halfway in she heard Lex remark, “Lana must subliminally hate you.”
He was looking at the big poofy bow on her ass. Not attractive.

She was proud of herself when she made it through and didn’t even fall. Not even once. She opened the door to Lex.

“Good girl.” Chloe ignored his condescending tone. Instead, she pumped her fist in the air and proclaimed, “I rule!”

Lex walked through the doorway and she let him put the pieces of cake on the table before she spoke again. “Now, come on and help me get out of this thing.” Chloe lived alone so Lex was her only hope of getting out of the thing. She’d imagined that someone else would have been doing it. “You’re it, buddy.”

He shook his head and went straight for the kitchen.

“Now, if only she didn’t constantly forget half the things she rules over,” he commented to himself as he started looking for a pair of kitchen scissors.

She hadn’t even noticed her lack of shoes yet, it seemed.

He heard the stereo come on in the living room and a moment later, Chloe yelled over the din of the music.

“They had such bad music!”

He found the scissors in the drawer next to the sink and returned to the living room.

“The bad music wasn’t the worst. Did you try the chicken?” Lex had given that a go before he’d decided on braving the pasta.

Chloe ignored him in favor of twirling around in her dress. “If I could have busted a move I would have totally gotten a man.” She sounded completely convinced of that fact.

Lex preferred hearing that over her self-pity monologue from earlier. He was glad she seemed to have gotten over the whining and into a better mood.

He looked at the dress and shook his head. “No one can bust a move in a dress without slit.”

This monstrosity really had not a single positive thing going for it. He wondered what kind of tailor could have created this without weeping in agony. Or getting thrown out of the guild for unnecessary cruelty to fabrics and humankind.

Lex snipped the scissors in the air and looked calculatingly for the best spot to start. But to be fair, he’d give Chloe a last chance to change her mind.

“So, easy or hard way?”

“Whatever you want.” Chloe was shaking her tail feather so she didn’t care about anything else. This fucking night was over and she was getting out of the damn dress. All was right in the world.

Lex ignored the frenetic dancing and concentrated on the dress. It had what appeared to be a thousand hooks on the back of it.

Chloe ‘danced’ over to him. “You always struck me as the easy type,” he drawled.

“I know! What is wrong with the other guys, can't they see that?” She’d talked to almost every male there and had nothing to show for it.

“It’s pretty hard to look past the attitude.” He’d thought he had said it low enough but Chloe was looking at him crossly so she’d obviously heard it. “The dress. I meant it’s hard to look past the dress.”

Lex grabbed at her shoulder, it took him three tries before she didn’t dance away from him, and turned her around. “Ok, let’s see about getting you freed.”

She watched as Lex got down on one knee and took the hem of the dress in his hand. He started to cut, running the scissors all the way up to the waistline. “I can’t decide which part is the worst,” he said as he worked.

“The bows or the flowers.” Chloe had to agree. It was a hideous tie.

Lex shook his head and looked for a good place to set the scissors to cut off the top part. He didn’t want to risk any of the tiny hooks flying off and landing in the carpet, only to be stepped on later.

“It’s like she made sure to cover every single sexy part of you with something so ridiculous that no one would even guess you’re a real girl.”

Lana really had to have an inferiority complex that knew no equal. There were enough pretty bridesmaid dresses out there to prove that they didn’t have to be ugly by tradition or anything.

Chloe giggled and moved, making Lex glad he hadn’t yet put the scissors to her body. “She’s jealous of my ass and legs and knockers, obviously.”

“Obviously.”

He finally found a place a little to the left of the back seam to place the scissors. His gaze slid a bit lower and he noticed he was face to face with Chloe’s butt. She wore a lacy, white boy-cut slip that barely covered the luscious mounds. “Nice panties, by the way.”

The scissors closed and he snipped a slow path up her back, careful not to cut into her skin on the way up to the stupid high collar.

He felt Chloe pulling up the dress in the front to look at her panties. Lex chuckled as he realized she must have forgotten which ones she was wearing. “Ah,” was her sound of realization before she twisted her head around to look at him. “Yeah, in case I got lucky, you know?”

“Though,” she said as she considered her current position, “how many women get to be undressed by Mr. Lex…wait, probably a lot. Forget it.” Lex got around. He was a big manwhore so the number probably had three digits.

“Well, you're the first I've undressed with scissors if that's any consolation.” He was again glad that mopey Chloe was gone. He preferred this one much more.

Chloe laughed a little. “That’ll do.” She patted Lex on the head and she knew the only reason her hand wasn’t batted away was because he had scissors in them.

“You're the first I thought about undressing, too.” Thankfully Lex’s methodical work was paying off. She could feel the constricting material letting up on her body. “What about up here?” He hadn’t totally cut her collar yet.

Lex stood up and tilted her head forward then sliced through the last two inches of pink fabric. The dress was now gaping wide open in the back, her panties and bra strap the only bits of material covering her.

He licked his lips at the rather erotic sight, but shook it off. No reason to get excited about it.

“You’re all sliced free in the back, just need to wiggle out of the sleeves.”

Which would be enough of a feat for her, considering the sleeves were also in the style of the century before last. Puffy at the shoulders and ridiculously tight down the length of her arms.

“How did you ever get into this thing in the first place?”

Lex imagined a procedure involving the use of some kind of tube for the arms and maybe a crocheting needle for all the hooks and eyes. One thing was clear: on her own, Chloe would have been doomed.

“With help,” Chloe replied as she started wiggling and dancing around, stepping on the loose hanging hem of her dress to get out of the constricting sleeves.

When the dress finally fell to the floor, Chloe jumped on it and started to dance around, waving her arms emphatically in the air.

“Free at last! Free at last! Thank God almighty, I’m free at last!”

Lex laughed and put the scissors aside, watching her dance and kick the dress.

“I don’t think Martin meant it quite that way, but whatever works,” he said as he walked over to the couch.

He took off his jacket and threw it over the back of the couch, then sank into the cushions with a comfortable groan. This was much better than those damn high backed chairs they’d had at the reception.

Chloe was still dancing around in her underwear as she answered, “Yea, but he never had to wear a dress.”

Lex snorted and just watched her for a moment, wiggling and shimmying around to the music from the stereo. She really looked good in lace. All soft curves packaged nicely in nothing but sexy lingerie.

“It’s a shame you didn’t wear that to the wedding. Sans the ugly dress.”

The song changed from an upbeat one to a slow one that Chloe was sure was popular with strippers. Now instead of bopping around, she undulated to the beat. Where was a pole when you needed one? And, being that she was only in her underwear, she probably looked like a stripper, too.

“I know, I have a good body.” She ran her hands down her sides. “Look at these abs.” She patted her stomach as she danced closer to Lex.

He shifted around a little on the couch, trying to get comfortable. Had nothing to do with the free show in front of him. Lex scrutinized her stomach. He didn’t see a set of well defined abs. Just what looked like soft skin dotted with a few birthmarks and a cute belly button. “Ok. You want to add some layers to the abs?”

For all of the talking she’d done about the cake, Chloe had probably forgotten about it already.

“Layers?” She left her hand on her stomach as she turned around, dancing, her back now to Lex. “Like another six pack on the six pack for a twelve pack?” Was he suggesting she have more to drink?

When she turned back around he said, “I was actually talking about the cake.”

Chloe laughed at her own silliness. “Right, I’m sorry. Still a little dizzy. No, ditzy. Maybe both.” She looked down at the pieces of cake. She scooped up some icing and ran it over her stomach. “Is that what you meant?” The giggles were coming.

She half smiled at Lex as she cleaned off her fingers one by one in her mouth.

Lex tried to stifle his own laughter as he watched her noisily slurping on her fingers. He turned his eyes onto her chocolate smeared belly and shook his head with a mock frown as he clucked his tongue. “Now look what you did.”

He reached out with his left and swiped his fingers through the mess on her stomach. Bringing them to his mouth he licked them clean with a lot less show than Chloe had.

He made a surprised noise in the back of his throat as he tasted the rich chocolate flavor.

“The cake’s actually not bad.”

On an impulse, he pulled her closer by the hips and licked in a broad swipe across the smeared icing. “Really not bad.”

He grinned as she squirmed between his hands, trying to wriggle away. For the hell of it, he tightened his hold and continued licking at her belly.

“Stop it!” Chloe squealed and fought a little harder against his hold. “That’s cruel teasing me.”

Lex lapped the last swipe of chocolate away, then pulled back and licked his lips exaggeratedly. “You brought it on yourself.”

He leaned back in his seat and looked challengingly up at Chloe, waiting what she’d do with that remark.

“Fine,” she huffed and brushed some hair out of her face, staring him down with a wicked smile. “Then two can play that game. I’ll…” She paused for a moment, thinking about it. “I’ll entice you till you’re begging for it.”

Love the beginning here. It was fate that they couldn't find anyone else @the wedding. Can't wait for more.

:lol:....:lol: I.CAN'T.STOP.LAUHGING!!!!
Brilliant beginning....and seeing as you two always manage to make it fabulous- on with it!

Great start I couldn't stop laughing!!!!!! I can't wait to read more soon.

LOL
So funny... I can`t stop laughing
I keep imagining Lex describing what the "lady" has under the dress
:D
Loved it
Can`t wait for more
And man, what a hot thing Lex licking the cake from Chloe`s belly

yay! more fun crazy fics from you two!! please update soon!!! i love the mutual respect and friendship between the two of them.. this is just fun and sex.. WHOOT

Every bit of that was hilarious from the dress to the game to the people to Chloe's parting shot to Lana. I knew that cake would come in handy. Can't wait to see what more will happen! Is it too much to ask that Lana's marriage is over before it really starts? Just so she gets punished for that horrible bridesmaid's dress.

Yay i'm really glad this one won of course i really want to read the other choices as well but this was the one i voted for! Drunk chloe is hilarious and it would be just like Lana to cover chloe in pink! I loved that her and Lex were playing that game at the wedding...

More please...!

-K-

lol!!! Go drunken horny chloe!!! love the beginning, please do continue!

I had to get over a little crying fest after finding out that I wasn’t going to be getting any BlueSabby angst. But, soon after getting into the chapter, my tears turned into the happy, hysterical ones induced by laughter.

This was a really cute and funny story. Halfway into it, I kept coming up with the image of a pregnant Chloe at the end of the smut. Chloe and Lex, drunk together, not particularly caring for each other’s feelings or even company… but they get together simply because they happen to be drunk and desperate for a shag. At least in UE, they LIKED each other, and seemed to be forming a friendship before getting high and getting fucked. It would have been interesting to see how they managed when they had ABSOLUTELY no feelings or relations or regard for each other AT ALL!

But pregnancy already been done in UE, and no matter how GREAT it would fit in here, I don’t think BlueSabby are going to get involved in TWO pregnancy fics at the same time. What a pity.

The description of the dress was HILARIOUS. I couldn’t get over how hideously ugly the damned thing looked in my head. I think Lex and Chloe were right… Lana DID pick out the dress as a petty way of making sure ‘The Bride’ looked like the most beautiful damsel at the ball.

Personally, I think reasoning like that is ridiculous. There is no way a bride can be upstaged by a bridesmaid, no matter HOW pretty the bridesmaid might look. I think of bridesmaids as the ‘frame’ for the pretty picture that is the bride herself. An ugly frame will only devalue the look of the picture. But, on the other hand, a beautiful frame will make even the plainest picture take on a special life and lustre.

So, a message to all women who might be considering putting your friends in ugly dressed… DON’T! The only person you end up hurting is yourself… a lovely setting around the bride and groom, which includes pretty bridesmaid dresses and handsome best men, will mean enhancing the loveliness of the photograph that are recorded for the happy occasion. Trying to make yourself feel better by making others feel (and look) ugly is just petty, vindictive… and ultimately doesn’t work!!!

Oh well, I really couldn’t have expected Lana to have realized this obvious fact. Pettiness and self-centred behaviour, coupled with a low IQ results in the ugliest dresses one can find for the ‘other women’ at one’s wedding.

Ok, I finished that rant… Now onto the part that made me ROTFLMAO! I thought that bet was hilarious. I’m still not sure what the winner was supposed to get (besides a good, hard shag). But I thought it was hilarious that Chloe was getting so desperate for an eligible man at a Lana and Clark wedding (of all places).

Why did she believe Lana when Lana claimed that Chloe would find ‘a good fuck’ at her wedding. Chloe should have really known better. At least Clark didn’t try that line with Lex… he probably knew that Lex wouldn’t fall for a ridiculous lie like that!

I didn’t think you could top the ‘flops’ when Lex got rejected by a woman on the grounds that she way gay… but then you had me ROTFLMAO at the thought that he actually spent a blessed FOUR minutes flirting with a GUY!!! I love how he came back so pale, unsettled and disconcerted… and in the need of some serious drinking before he could even tell Chloe what went wrong that time. ROTFLOL!

And I was howling in laughter all over again when, seeing how GOOD the guy looked as a woman, made Chloe fall deeper into her self-pitying mode. It truly must have been horrible, knowing that a guy in a frickin dress looks better than you and your natural assets.

*sigh* Poor Chloe! How long has it been since she has had sex anyway? I giggled at the estimate Lex made… He actually thought Chloe was desperate because she hadn’t had sex for at least a month or two? That’s his idea of a dry spell??!! *cough*manwhore*cough*

I’m not sure how long it’s been since Chloe’s ‘been sweaty’ with someone, but considering how damned miserable and self-pitying she was being… I’d say it was a hell of a lot longer than a couple of months.

I thought it was very nice of Lex to lead Chloe away to his car and offer her a ride home… especially considering how wary he was of the possibility of vomit and cake crumbs on the new leather. But, despite what he claimed otherwise, I think he DID offer the ride out of pity. Chloe was truly pathetic tonight, and Lex was a nice enough guy to grant her a small amount of mercy by taking her out of the public eye before she completely made a fool of herself.

Heh, even if he DID give in the naughty impulse to have a drunken Chloe saying bye-bye to the happy bride and groom, just to ‘see what would happen’.

And I really enjoyed how Chloe answered Lana’s tactless and stupidly cruel comment by letting the glowing bride know that Chloe had Clark first. ROTFLOL!

HA! That’s for the dress, you pink b***h!

More ROTFLOL at the idea that Chloe had to break into her own home. She seemed to be able to do that waay too easily, how many times has she forgotten her house keys anyway?

And Lex was still being a sweetheart by actually helping Chloe out of that horrible, ridiculous dress… instead of just dumping her on the bed to ‘sleep it off’. AND he scissored off the dress without actually expecting any ‘booty’ in return. Talk about going above and beyond…

Come to think of it. Why WAS Lex taking so much care and attention of a drunken girl he didn’t have any particular feelings for, one way or another. Getting her home safely was one thing, but then taking care of her by getting her ready for sleep? That’s stuff that only actual ‘friends’ do for each other.

Anyhow, it turned out great, because he got a really sexy show for his generous and undemanding efforts. AND he got to lick some icing off the stomach of a lovely girl… without needing to date her, pay her, or make special arrangement of diamond earrings for the next morning.

I did think it was really funny that Lex’s licking the icing off Chloe’s stomach was actually meant in playful fun, and NOT as a sexual overture. It’s actually nice to know that Lex Luthor can indulge in a bit of non-objective-oriented fun and frolic, without thinking about rules, games, winning or goals. Very sweet!

Heh, but it seems like Chloe took Lex’s bit of fun as a challenge. She’s actually decided to entice him until he’s… begging for it? Does she seriously have such low self-esteem that she thinks she needs to do ANY more enticing than strip down to her underwear and smear icing on her abs??!!

I think the only reason Lex isn’t jumping her is because he knows she’s horribly drunk, and therefore in that ‘special mentally depreciated’ state, where even an enthusiastic ‘yes, come and get me’ needs to be thought over very carefully by the sober party involved in the seduction process. Basically, this version of Lex seems too nice and honourable to risk taking advantage of a drunken (and very miserable, desperate) bridesmaid.

But BlueSabby said there will be smut, therefore, let’s see how, why and when Lex’s heated arousal gets the better of his sense of discretion, decency, conscience and caution.

nice!:drool2:

oh man, this fic is sooooo amazing!!! i love the game they were playing, and lex going over to the tranvestite, that had me practically on the floor.

Lana is such a bitch. Of course she would choose such an ugy dress, and Chloe was such an idiot for agreeing to be a bridesmaid. But i loved her comment as she and Lex were leaving

The image of Lex cutting Chloe out of the autrocity Lana tried to pass off as a dress was hysterical. Where's a pole when you need one. haha that line was great!!

Can't wait for the next update, and I'm so glad you two decided to do this fic.

Heather

Oh my goodness that was great! I can't wait to see what smut comes out of this. :D

I didn't vote for this one, but hey smut is smut right? :) Ahhh drunken Chlex and at Clana's wedding! Figures they'd throw some boring reception. I look forward to all that smut action :D

ohh boy!!!
Hilarious!!!
you're just amazing, ladies!!

Poor Chloe! Lana would so make her wear a dress from hell just to make hers look even better!! Can't wait for more :D

This was great! So funny :D Can't wait for more.

A/N: Blue: Here's the sexing. Enjoy

A/N: Sabby: Like she said. And don't forget the lovely feedback *G*


She didn’t even believe that herself, because her voice wobbled on the words as she tried to fight her own laughter.

Lex fought against the grin trying to break out on his face and nodded. “Right,” he said and pressed his lips together for a moment to keep the laughter in before he continued. “What with the cake smears and the giggling, foul temptress you are.”

She watched him sit back on the couch with that superior look on his face. Chloe needed to get serious now. It was a serious time.

“I am a very foul temptress. You’ll see.” Good, stalling was good. “No man can resist the stomach cake. It brings them all to their knees.”

He licked his lips again. Chloe was a little off her game if that was all she could come up with. “You taste rather sweet for something foul.”

Oh, there. He’d helped her. “That's the icing, I taste much more evil.” She took a step closer as she spoke. Her knees were almost hitting the couch and Lex had widened his legs to give her even more room.

Chloe watched as Lex raised one of his eyebrows. “Really? What does evil taste like?”

She loved it when Lex played along with her shenanigans. “Baby, you couldn’t handle it.” Her pointer finger now ran over the material of her bra where it met the swell of her breast.

Lex was now doing his damnest not to laugh at her. A drunk, half naked Chloe was using over the top methods to ‘seduce’ him. Well, he’d go along with it. He usually did. His eyes ran up and down her frame, taking in the curves and dips of her body.

While Lex’s eyes explored her body, Chloe said, “I can give you a little taste of evil if you want. But no seconds, you promise?”

Well now he was intrigued. She usually didn’t take it that far. In fact there had only been a handful of times when she had done so, and they had all ended with her running off and avoiding him for a few weeks.

But maybe he was getting ahead of himself again and she was just planning to smear him with some cake or something of the like.

“Sure, hit me.”

Chloe smirked, or tried to smirk in any case, and purred, “You asked for it.”

She braced her hands on his shoulders and pushed him even further into the back of the couch as she climbed into his lap and straddled him.

Before he knew what was happening, she pecked him right on the mouth and pulled back again.

“See, pure evil.” She grinned triumphantly down at him, still perched in his lap.

Lex chuckled and wrapped his arms loosely around her waist, trying to still her squirming movements. “Didn’t know pure evil tastes like cake,” he commented with a smirk.

“I still taste like cake?” One hand flew up to her mouth and she licked her lips. “I could brush so you could get the evil.”

He shook his head. She was in a playful mood and easily distracted on top of that. Sometimes it was just the best kind of fun to hang out with a drunken Chloe.

“Oh, I got cake on your shirt!” Case in point. Easily distracted. “Sorry.” She sounded truly contrite.

“It’s okay,” Lex reassured her. He couldn’t give a shit less about the shirt, it was just one of about twenty white tux shirts he owned.

“You’re so nice.” She said with feeling as she launched herself forward and threw her arms around him in a hug, burying her nose in the crook of his neck.

Lex chuckled and moved his arms up to hug her back, his hands feeling the soft skin of her sides and the lacy edges of her underwear. If he was a man with less restraint, he would have called her cruel.

Instead he said, “And you’re so drunk you’re trying to make out with me.”

He could feel the frown against his jaw before Chloe pulled back to stare him down.

“I’m not trying to make out with you.” She wasn’t. Not really, well, maybe a little. “And I don’t need to be drunk to want to.”

She wanted that a lot more often than she was drunk. Thought about it maybe a bit more than she should what with them being friends and all that. Which was clearly Lex’s fault, because his lips were so kissable and then there was the fact that she knew he was a great kisser. And she knew that because…

“Wasn’t drunk last time.”

Lex remembered ‘last time’. Last time had been quite a few months ago and they’d both been single at that time, too. There had been a party at one of Chloe’s co-worker’s and she’d asked him to come along. They had ended up on the balcony, looking at the stars and talking about everything and nothing in highly philosophical phrases. And then had started making out.

“No, last time, you were high, right.” They’d both been high. And it wasn’t that there was anything wrong with making out while high, or drunk. It was just that her reaction to things the next morning had been; well, strange to say the least.

Lex had a point. She usually only gave in to her urges when she was out of her skull. Then again, he never started it. Or stopped it when she did it. This was a hard puzzle. She leaned her forehead against his and thought about it.

She shifted around a little more and then realized she was still on top of him. “Am I too heavy?” She raised her head. “I’m probably crushing your aristocratic bones.”

“Nope,” he said as he moved some hair out of her face, “not heavy at all. But my aristocratic bones are probably giving your plebian skin some bruises.” She’d always been fair and bruised easily.

“You’re not that bony.” Her eyes were searching his face for a clue as to what he wanted to do. She’d given him an out and he hadn’t taken it. “So can I try to make out with you some more then?”

Lex looked at her for a moment, considering the options. He would really like to take her up on that offer. Even if it didn’t lead anywhere. She was cute and a good kisser and he actually really liked her.

“Okay,” he said slowly and Chloe already started bouncing in his lap before he could continue his sentence.

He stilled her movements and made her meet his gaze as he held his pointer finger up in front of her nose. “But if you start talking fast and walking faster in the morning again, I will hunt you down this time.”

And he would. There would be no avoiding him for weeks until she found her next best boytoy and could pretend nothing had ever happened.

Chloe bit her lip and looked at his finger, which made him take it away so she didn’t have that as an excuse not to look at him.

“Promise I won’t,” she finally said and Lex hoped he could believe in that promise.

Then she prattled on at lightening speed. “I just don’t know what to do after we make out. Figure you’ll be weird so I just get weird.”

She was already mostly finished with her sentence before Lex’s mind finally caught up parsing the babble into some kind of coherent information. And then she kissed him which made his mind shut down for a moment before he remembered that he was going to ask her something.

He pushed her back a little, forcing her to break the kiss.

“What do you mean I get weird?”

The kissing had stopped. It made her sad. She’d gotten a little taste and she wanted more. But she knew the look on Lex’s face. He was not to be deterred.

“I didn’t say that you got weird. I always thought you would after. So, you didn’t have a chance to get weird cause I would get weird before you could.” It made sense in her head but she wasn’t sure Lex would get it. Sometimes she confused even him.

He seemed to get it, though, because he allowed her to kiss him again. There was a question repeating itself in Chloe’s brain. They’d made out plenty. Felt each other up. She wanted more this time.

But Lex spoke before she could get it out. “So,” he murmured against her lips, “if I don't get weird, and you don't get weird, we'll be alright then.”

“Yeah, we should be.” Lex pulled her a little closer and she knew that he’d given in completely to the make out plan.

“Can we have sex this time?” She ran her fingers over the nape of his neck before she pulled back to look down at him.

Lex looked back at her, trying to gauge if she was serious about that. She looked kind of serious, underneath the drunk. A little insecure, maybe, but definitely interested.

He decided to play it by ear. “Let’s start with this and see where it takes us.”

Making out was pretty much safe ground, now that she’d agreed she wouldn’t freak out about it in the morning. And if she decided to chicken out, or fell asleep on top of him before anything happened, there would be no regrets in the morning. And he wouldn’t have to deal with getting all revved up with nowhere to go.

Closing the distance between them, Lex leaned forward and captured her lips. He used his hands on her back to push her towards him so he could sit back comfortably again. His eyes closed as they nipped, suckled, and generally played around for a few moments before she pressed her lips more insistently to his and pushed her tongue into his mouth to tangle with his.

As her tongue explored his mouth, Lex’s hands went about traveling the expanse of naked skin within reach, trailing over her shoulders and back, skirting around the edges of the lace that covered her ass.

Chloe started to slowly rock her hips and Lex hummed in his throat at the pleasant friction on his cock.

Not exactly what she’d wanted to hear from Lex but she couldn’t blame him. She’d acted schizophrenic enough in the past for her to understand why he didn’t want to give her a definite answer.

For now, she’d just enjoy touching and kissing him. For the first time that night she wished he hadn’t been wearing a suit. There was no exposed skin for her to touch. Well, except on his neck and his head. That was plenty for her to work with, she realized.

She felt him hardening beneath her as she kept up the slow and steady motion of her hips. Her body responded to his touch. Arching into it and the evidence of her pleasure coiling between her legs. God, she hoped he decided to stay.

Lex tasted like cake and she had to agree that it was much better than anything else that had been served at the reception. There was a hint of champagne and she decided that some Lex with a side of cake and a splash of champagne was definitely the way to go after a dull wedding.

Her hands were on either side of his face as their kissing started to intensify. She felt his fingers flex in their positions on her body. One hand directly under her bra and the other right above her ass.

She moved one of her hands, running it from the crown of his head all the way down to the base of his neck. His hips surged up a little and she tightened her thighs around him.

Chloe released his mouth and kissed her way down his neck. “So sick of Lyle,” she admitted. A girl could only use a vibe so much before it became sad. “Did I ever tell you that you have the nicest neck?” Yes, she was being random but she was currently nipping at the body part and she’d often had that thought so there was no need to hide it.

“Can’t imagine why you’d be sick of Lyle.” Lex’s voice was laced with fake incredulity. “And I don’t ever remember you extolling the virtues of my neck before, no.”

One of his fingers was running over the catch of her bra. He didn’t undo it, just traced it with the digit.

“You do.” Chloe didn’t know if he’d be able to make out the words between her kisses. She bit him gently on a particularly yummy tendon. “Especially right there.”

Her hands wandered a little more. “And nice shoulders.” She titled her head. “Ears are pretty, too.” Sucked the lobe into her mouth.

Lex chuckled and squirmed a little as she hit a ticklish spot under his ear. “Right,” he drawled as she busied herself some more with his ear. “Now I know why you have trouble getting a guy in bed.”

Because compliments were nice, but using the word ‘pretty’ and talking about body parts as insignificant to sex as ears was just a tad more than a little weird.

Chloe either chose to ignore the hint or it went completely over her head because now she was busying herself with a spot just above the collar of his shirt, nipping it sharply and muttering around her mouthful.

“Right, not as hot as you are.” She pulled back from his neck and grinned as her hands came up and he felt her fingertips running light as feathers over his skull. “And your awesome bald head.”

She was so completely drunk off her ass.

Lex had to stifle his laughter again at the idiotic remark. He would enjoy reminding her of this tomorrow morning; preferably while she was still fighting her hang over.

“See, that right there is exactly why I shouldn’t let you drink so much.” Even though he had to admit the feeling of her fingers was kind of nice.

”I was actually trying to tell you that this kind of drunk talk might just creep them out before you ever make it to the bedroom.”

Chloe lightly rested her hands on his shoulders as she kissed the tip of his nose and then random places on his face. His hands at her hips kept her anchored to his body. “I don’t say that kind of stuff to them, silly boy.”

Yes, she was quirky but not that crazy. “Only to…” got a little distracted as she hit a very nice spot on her body with Lex’s cock. She threw her head back and focused on the feeling for a few seconds. “You. Only say that stuff to you.”

Lex was her friend and used to the random remarks. He’d make fun of her for them but didn’t really mean it.

Her movements were becoming a little more frantic. Her eyes kept closing and Lex could see her biting down on her lower lip. Whether from trying to stifle her noises or put more strength behind her grinding, or a combination of both, remained to be seen.

Chloe loosely wrapped her arms around Lex and kissed the side of his head. “You forget, you already know I’m crazy, they don't.” She could pull of sanity with the best of them. “And I’m not so drunk that I can’t feel that.” She rocked her hips more sharply and they both inhaled quickly.

“And yet you still manage to surprise me…” He interrupted himself with a sharp hiss as she ground down hard and rubbed against him. “With the unknown depths of your craziness.”

And it was true, every time he thought he’d figured her out she did or said something so absolutely crazy and nonsensical that he wished for a dictionary again. Or a manual, whichever would be handier. Maybe a complete description with Cliff’s notes for the important parts.

He laughed at the thought of having a complete encyclopedia of Chloe Sullivan, CDs included sitting in his bookcases at the mansion.

At his laughter, Chloe pulled back and glared down at him. Ooops.

“I’m horny, and half naked in your lap,” she stated matter-of-factly. “How coherent am I supposed to be?”

Lex pressed his lips together and attempted to look contrite, but apparently he didn’t pull it off very well because Chloe just cocked her head to the side and said sarcastically, “Shall we talk about Salk?”

For a moment, he was thrown by the change of topic and didn’t have the slightest clue what she was on about now. The grinding together of their lower bodies that was still going on was also distracting him.

“What’s Salk?” he asked as he shifted his grip to her ass and readjusted her a little, trying to relieve some of the pressure she was creating to make sure this wasn’t over too fast.

Chloe continued her rocking motions, pushing herself back into his hands and then forward again to rub against the bulge in his pants. “It’s the guy who found the polio vaccine.”

Lex stared at her for a moment, completely dumbfounded. Where the hell had she pulled that one from? And while she was rubbing against him like a cat in heat no less.

“Now I know your neurons aren’t firing right,” he finally said. “You’re making out with me and can think of the guy who found the polio vaccine?” If he didn’t know better he’d think he’d lost his touch.

Lex used his hold on her ass to pull her tighter into his lap, grinding her against the length of his confined cock.

He grinned as her hands latched onto his shoulders and she gasped at the sensation.

“What…” Her voice was a little shaky and she had to clear her throat. Bingo. “What should we talk about then?”

“How about…” Lex pretended to think about it for a moment before he surged forward and captured her mouth to occupy it with something much more pleasant than talking.

Chloe thrust her hips in time with her tongue. She should be ashamed at what she was doing. Or, at the very least, a little embarrassed. She’d asked her friend, point blank, for sex and was now dry humping him on the couch as her tongue ran rampant in his mouth.

But she didn’t feel any of those emotions. Or maybe she would if she wasn’t so focused on Lex’s hands, tongue and cock.

She rested her forehead against him and murmured, “You still taste like cake.” The champagne was gone by now. Probably wiped away by her mouth. His hands were massaging her ass as he continued to guide her over his cock.

The noises coming out of her mouth were constant now and she could hear that her voice had gotten decidedly tighter. Chloe knew how close she was to losing it already.

Her hands clutched more strongly at his shoulders. “Lex, I’m almost…almost.”

Lex brought one hand up to tangle it in her hair and pull her head back so he could look at her. She couldn’t be serious.

Her gyrating turned frantic and her eyes were more glazed than they’d been a few moments ago, so it wasn’t just the alcohol. “Already?” He still couldn’t believe it.

She made a cute little whimpering noise and bit her lips as she tried to get the necessary friction to get her off. “You didn’t tell me you were that hard up,” he muttered as he let go of her head and moved his hand down between them.

This was more than a couple months worth of desperation.

With a bit of effort, he managed to shove his hand inside her panties and pushed a finger between her slick folds as she mumbled, “Can wait if you…”

“Gah! Lex!”

Two fingers had slipped inside her easily and Lex let her ride them as he pressed the pads against her slick inner walls.

Lex grinned as she started scrambling for the catch of her bra, riding his fingers frantically.

“Go on,” he encouraged her, surprised at the gravelly quality of his own voice.

Chloe was surprised that she was actually able to stay on Lex as she rode his fingers all the while releasing the clasp of her bra. She briefly took her hands off of his body to get the lacy material off. It fell between them as she placed one hand on his shoulder while the other massaged her breast.

This was so much better than being alone. Lex’s fingers were fuller than hers and could hit better angles in this position. She could hear him and still feel his cock bumping against her body.

“Good. Good.” Leaned down to kiss him as she rode his fingers.

Chloe pulled back and circled her hips, trying to reach her orgasm.

Lex’s eyes were drinking in the show Chloe was putting on. Her body was flushed and the whimpering noises she made caused his dick to pay more attention than before. He watched as her tits bounced in front of him.

“Really was a shame to hide those behind flowers.” Her breasts were full and the dusky nipples stood out in contrast to her pale skin.

Chloe was panting by now. His name mixed in with other words. He arched his fingers up and massaged a particular spot. She started bucking even more. He applied more pressure.

“Lex!” Her body froze for a second except for her hand. It squeezed her breast and then she moaned Lex’s name again as her pussy started to flutter around his fingers. Her hips kept moving as did Lex’s fingers, drawing out her pleasure.

She practically collapsed against him as all the muscles in her body, except the ones around Lex’s fingers, seemed to give out at the same time.

Her body was still jerking a little when she managed to speak again. Her voice was raspy but she could also hear the contentment that she now felt coming through. “God, that was really good.”

Chloe knew that she was grinning like a fool against Lex’s neck. She righted herself up, moved some hair out of her face and leaned down to kiss him slowly.

Lex kissed her back for a moment, flicking the tip of his tongue against the roof of her mouth before he pulled back with a last peck to her lips.

“Always glad to serve,” he commented with a smirk.

“And you serve so well,” she practically purred in answer. “I’ll be sure to leave a generous tip.” She patted his chest and gave him another quick kiss.

“Right, cause I’m young and need the money,” Lex shot back with a grin.

“Uh huh.” She nodded and grinned back. “And I wouldn’t want you turning to a seedy way of making it.” The patting turned to stroking on his chest that slowly moved lower. “Selling that fine body of yours. Cause I doubt I could afford…”

Lex slowly removed his fingers from her and brought them to his mouth, licking them clean. She tasted almost spicy. He’d have to get a better taste later. Now that he knew she was really hard up, he also knew that she was not going to miss out on sex that was freely offered.

Her eyes were rooted to his fingers and she swallowed before she continued the snarky comment that had been going through her mind before Lex distracted her with that little suggestive move of his.

“What was I saying?”

Lex chuckled and placed his hand back around her waist, holding her steady in his lap.

“You were talking about giving me a generous tip for servicing you,” he reminded her.

Part of him was hoping that generous tip would involve helping him take care of his hard on, preferably with that pretty and talented mouth of hers. But he would leave that up to her. She’d started this whole thing, so he would let her call the shots. For now.

“But that’s okay.”

Lex’s voice was a little on the tense side and Chloe had the evidence as to why that was directly under her. She didn’t even think of making him wait. Not after the kissing, petting and orgasm he’d given her. Turnabout was fair play. But that wasn’t exactly right. More like you show me yours, I’ll show you mine.

And she definitely wanted to see his.

“I can make it up to you.” Her hands were at the waistline of his pants and she pulled his shirt out of them. She wanted to feel some more skin. The tiny buttons were rather annoying and the cummerbund created another problem, but she was able to finally part the material after less than a minute.

She ran her fingertips down his chest avidly watching as he responded to her touch. After a few passes, they were back at his pants. “Generously,” she said as she popped the button and fly. She obviously couldn’t stay where she was for this next part of their little sexual escapade.

Before she dismounted she leaned down for a kiss. Her mouth was demanding on his and she only released it once she heard a groan rumble through his body.

Satisfied that he was feeling at least a quarter as hot as she was, Chloe carefully, and with Lex’s help, got to her feet. She didn’t stay there long. She was on her knees in the next instant.

Once she was comfortable she looked back up at Lex and smiled at what she saw. He was just like any other man. The promise of a blowjob and the sight of a woman on her knees appealed to him. Chloe wanted to make a ‘money where her mouth was’ joke but she knew it would spoil the mood.

Lex’s hips rose up and she was able to push both his pants and boxers down his legs. She slowly ran her hands up his legs and then let her eyes drift to his cock. Oh, it was like her birthday and Christmas all rolled into one.

“And speaking of generous…” She lightly ran her hands over the erect shaft and watched as a shiver ran through Lex’s body. Chloe moved a little closer and gripped the base firmly with one hand as the other dipped between his legs to toy with his balls.

She ran her hand up his shaft as she gently tugged on his sac. His hands had fisted at his sides. Chloe licked her lips and then ducked her head, running her tongue over his slit. His taste filled her mouth and she repeated the move.

Her tongue made wider and wider sweeps, now running all along the head of his cock. She titled her eyes up at him and saw that one of his hands was hovering right above her head. As her tongue swirled, she nodded as much as she could.

Lex’s hand cradled the base of her skull. She lowered her head even more and took him about halfway in her mouth. The hand on his shaft moved up and down in counterpoint to her mouth. She dragged her tongue around the flesh as she moved.
She looked back up at Lex and wasn’t disappointed at what she saw. His head was thrown back on the couch but he still watched her from lowered lids. As she began to take more and more of him down her throat he tightened his grip on her hair.

Lex suppressed a groan as her talented tongue worked over the crown before she sucked him down strongly.

“Fuck, you’re good at this.” His voice cracked slightly as she repeated her move and her middle finger rubbed at the sensitive spot behind his balls.

Lex tried to keep his eyes open as she quickened her strokes on the base and lashed her tongue over the underside of his dick. “Twist your wrist a little when you…shit, yea, just like that.” The movement of her hand became more fluid and without having to be told she started moving her head in counterpoint every time she pulled her mouth back towards the head.

This could possibly be one of the best blow jobs he’d ever gotten. “Perfect.”

His eyes drifted closed and he could feel the tension coil low in his stomach, his balls tightening under her talented ministrations.

How she could coordinate her moves so well… “Genius, fucking…Argh!”

Orgasm had snuck up on him and hit without warning. His eyes squeezed shut and he spilled down her throat with a strangled shout, hips jerking into her pretty, perfect mouth.

Chloe kept her hands and mouth moving as Lex’s body danced through his orgasm. He’d sounded surprised when he came. Clearly, they hadn’t discussed her proficiency at blowjobs that much in the past. Though she hadn’t been physical with a guy in a long time it had all come back to her.

That wasn’t to say that she hadn’t appreciated the direction Lex gave her. She knew some women hated that but Chloe didn’t see why. It was usually customary and expected for a woman to help a guy with oral so why not vice versa?

His taste seemed very strong but she thought that was more due to her lack of having this experience as of late. Chloe made sure to swallow him down and then set about cleaning him up. His fingers were tangled in her hair and he was panting, his eyes now fully closed.

She was turned on again. But now that Lex was done she’d probably have to resolve to using Lyle again. When she’d asked about sex, and she wasn’t about to get into a Clinton debate with herself right now, Lex wasn’t sure he wanted that. Hopefully, she’d changed his mind.

Her panties were sticking to her uncomfortably and her knees weren’t exactly happy with her either. Lex was still not talking or really moving all that much. She used his knees to push herself to her feet. Chloe shucked off her panties and stood in front of him, naked.

“Should we move this to the bedroom?”

Lex was still drifting in the happy, so it took him a moment to open his eyes and look up at Chloe. She was fully naked, her skin flushed and her breathing just a little deeper than usual. And she looked impatient.

He wondered again how long it had been since she’d gotten laid.

“You sure? I thought we could sit down, watch a movie, maybe talk…”

He barely managed to keep a straight face as he teased her with that suggestion and watched her eyes go wide and mouth open slightly as she stared back at him.

Grinning, he managed to get himself up from the couch and removed the cummerbund from around his waist, then took his shirt off and put both on the couch next to his already discarded jacket. He made quick work of tucking himself back into his pants and closing the zipper.

“I was kidding, but I hope for you that you’ve got condoms in there.” Because he didn’t carry any on him. Lex hadn’t actually planned to get laid tonight.

Chloe stepped up to him and linked her hands behind his neck. She blatantly rubbed her breasts against his chest and delighted in the zings it created. “I do.” She kissed him on his pretty neck. Her brows drew together. “I just hope they’re not expired.”

Lex chuckled at the joke. He was all sorts of relaxed now. At least he hadn’t fallen asleep. That would have put a damper on the rest of her plans.

But to get to those plans she was going to have to pry herself off of him. It was hard to do, though. He was all nice and soft but strong and smooth and yummy. Putting some space between them, she said, “I can’t wait to see you naked and sweaty above me.”

He looked down at her, clearly amused. “Come on, tiger,” she swatted his ass. “I’ll race you.” Knowing that there was no way in hell that Lex would possibly chase her, Chloe turned on her heel and ran out of the room and down the hall.

Lex mouthed ‘Tiger’ with a quizzical look on his face and watched as Chloe dashed off and almost knocked her shoulder into the doorjamb as she rounded the corner into her bedroom.

“Definitely never going to let her drink so much again,” he muttered to himself as he ambled down the hallway to follow her.

He sauntered through the door and looked around the room before his gaze focused on Chloe.

She was going through the top drawer of her dresser, throwing things about as she searched for the condoms. He wondered if she kept her little buzzing friend in the same one as well.

“Going to get ‘Lyle’ as well?” he asked as he stepped closer.

Chloe threw a glare over her shoulder. “Not really.” She turned back to her muddling and Lex chuckled as she scowled fiercely into the drawer. “I know they’re in her somewhere.” She shoved aside something that made a clattering noise and then shouted in triumph.

“There we go!” Lex had stepped up behind her and she held the condoms up in both hands, presenting them proudly.

He laughed and shook his head at the bunch of at least a dozen foil packages. He was active, but he doubted even he could come that often in a limited time frame.

As she went to put the condoms on the nightstand, Lex peeked into the drawer. He was still curious about her toy. “You sure you don’t want to show me that little toy of yours?”

“Not exactly little,” she murmured. Why was Lex so interested in Lyle? They were going to have wild sex, they didn’t need him. Unless….or, maybe unless…

Well, seek and ye shall find. Or, in this case, ask and Lex will tell you.

“I’m not going to need him, am I Lex?” Maybe her display of desperation wasn’t cute but unattractive. There was the other possibility, though.

Chloe looked worried but also unsure so he didn’t let her swing for too long. “Not unless you want to get kinky. Just curious.” He shrugged as he sat down on her bed.

Even though Chloe liked sex a lot, she had never gotten as kinky as Lex, she was sure of that. “What are you thinking?” Her voice was lower and she could hear it breaking a little.

“What do you think I'm thinking?” He smiled up at her as he let his eyes wander over her body. He was getting a much better look than he had downstairs. But he still couldn’t make out the nonexistent abs that Chloe professed to have. He could see, however, that she was on the verge of panting again.

He’d always used his words to wind Chloe up. It was merely in another way right now.

Chloe made her way over to her other bedside table. “You want to watch me?” She opened the middle drawer. That’s where she’d left Lyle. Looking down at it, she said, “Or maybe compete?”

She watched as a slow smile worked its way onto his face. His voice came out smoothly, seductively. “Compete? I was more thinking along the lines of cooperate.”

The idea was getting to her in a very bad way. She wanted to try things with Lex. Dirty, naughty things. Looking back over at him, she asked, “First Lyle, than you…or…”

She paused. God, what she was about to suggest next made her tremble even more. “At the same time?”

Lex watched her with a mixture of amusement and interest as she stood there, panting already just from the thought of getting down and dirty with him and her little toy. Her eyes went back and forth between him and the content of her bedside table drawer.

He’d asked himself this ever since back at the reception, but now he just couldn’t keep his mouth shut about it any longer. He just needed to know.

“Just how long has it been, Chloe?”

Because this kind of desperation and greed for sex didn’t build up in a short time, unless you suffered from nymphomania, which Chloe did not, Lex was certain.

“Awhile,” she hedged, looking anywhere but at his face.

He didn’t prod, just kept looking back at her, waiting for her eyes to be done bouncing around the room and look in his face. He could wait for his answer and wasn’t going anywhere, or doing anything, until he got it.

After what seemed like minutes, she finally broke and confessed.

“Over a year. I dated, but no fucks.”

Lex was shocked. He was astounded. Maybe a bit dumbfounded and definitely sympathetic to her need now.

“That’s harsh,” was all he could think to say.

Yeah, you don’t have to fucking tell me that. She kept that opinion to herself. She knew that Lex had never gone that long since he’d started. He would have probably eaten a bullet if he had to. But, it had just sort of happened. She’d considered having random sex but that didn’t seem all that satisfying to her.

He was still looking at her. “Tons of pent up frustration and orgasms,” she told him. Chloe used Lyle regularly but now it seemed almost routine and her pleasure wasn’t as strong as it used to be.

“I can imagine.” Lex thought about what she’d said. No sex for over a year. Only getting yourself off with something mechanical. No person with you, hearing them as they came with you. Touching them as you found each other’s spots. The powerful jerk of a really good orgasm. “No, actually, I can’t imagine.”

It must have been some sort of strange torture for her. To be surrounded by…

“Lex, focus.” She could see his brain working overtime. Yes, it sucked but she was really hoping that the dry spell would break now. Had thought it would have already been broken. She was naked and ready in a room with a bed and half dressed Lex and a handful of condoms. What else did they need?

He clucked his tongue at her “Poor, poor thing.” She still hadn’t taken Lyle out of the bedside table, though. He knew she would. Just needed a little more time. “I must be the candy store scenario eh?” He gestured to himself.

“So why don’t you enrich me? Get undressed.” She heard the slight annoyance creeping into her voice. She laughed, along with Lex, when she heard it.

He locked their gazes and started to go for his pants. “Good, now we’re getting somewhere.” Being that he was cooperating, she picked up Lyle.

While Chloe had used a few vibes he was her favorite. Fairly long but thick. Kinda like Lex. She threw Lyle on the middle of the bed. And then joined the two of them.

Lex decided he was definitely the candy store scenario. And Chloe was the woman starving for sugar who’d just been locked in that candy store over night.

He looked at the vibrator next to him and picked it up to examine it a little closer. Metallic surface, about as long as his own dick, with a curved tip and a twist at the end to set five individual speeds.

This could be fun.

Lex twisted the bottom end and set the thing buzzing at a medium level.

Yes, this would be fun.
He turned to Chloe with a smirk and knew that she was barely holding back from pouncing him. His cock was already taking an interest, but he had something else in mind for the moment.

“Since you just blew me so spectacularly, I think it’s only fair if I return the favor, don’t you think?”

Rolling onto his stomach, he pushed her over and crawled between her legs, not expecting her to object to his offer. And her vibrating friend would be a good aid to spice things up a bit.

As Lex caught her lips in a slow, languorous kiss he brought his hand up and slowly brushed the toy over one breast, letting the tip trail over her nipple.

Chloe moaned into the kiss and started gyrating her hips, throwing her arms around his shoulders and holding his head captive against her mouth. Their tongues tangled and Lex slowly kept moving the toy, bracing himself on his other arm to give him a little room so he could tease both her breasts equally.

She really had gorgeous tits. Full, round and apparently, very sensitive if the noises she kept making where any indication.

Lex pulled out of the kiss and nuzzled his way down her jaw to her neck. He flicked his tongue against the spot behind her ear and caught the soft lobe between his teeth, nipping it gently as his hand with the vibe traveled lower, tracing circles over her belly and dipping the tip of the toy into her belly button.

Chloe was ready to explode. Even she could admit it was sad. Just a little attention from a flesh and blood person and she was eager to come. That way, she could have another orgasm. But she tried to calm herself down. She didn’t want to just enjoy the final act; the build up was just as nice.

She kept her hand on the nape of Lex’s neck as she tilted her head to the side. Her body felt overly hot and she closed her eyes so she could concentrate on the feeling of her vibrator against her skin. She shifted her legs apart to give Lex’s body more room. And give him more room to work with Lyle.

The buzzing sound and her pants filled the room as did the quieter noises of Lex’s mouth working at her neck. As Lex’s mouth moved lower on her body, so did Lyle.

Chloe gasped and her back arched up as Lex trailed the toy down her pubic hair and then flicked it against her clit. Her hands grabbed at him and her hips jerked up over and over. But he’d taken the toy away. “Tease.” She barked the word out almost like a curse.

Lex chuckled against her skin and bit her right above her breast before trailing Lyle up and down her inner thigh. The toy moved slowly and Chloe knew it was getting coated with her juices.

She was making helpless breathy sounds by now and was about to beg when Lex’s head moved up to hover over her face. He pushed some hair out of her face and then she felt him move the toy right to her opening. Her eyes widened a little.

Her legs were splayed shamelessly on either side of his body but she moved them even further apart.

“Oh, fuuuuuuuck.” Her word lasted about as long as it took Lex to slide Lyle fully inside of her. Chloe’s hands clutched at Lex’s shoulders as her eyes crashed closed. The vibrating sound was muffled now.

Her hands reached above her briefly, crushing either side of the pillow that her head rested on. Her hips were pumping as Lex worked Lyle in and out of her body. She was going to come soon.

She took her right hand and jammed it between their bodies, placing it over Lex’s. She moved her right leg a little more to the side and then guided Lex’s hand. “Yeah, like that.” She placed her right foot on the mattress and used it to lever herself up when Lyle hit bottom inside of her.

Her tits had started to bounce as she and Lex fucked her with Lyle. She wasn’t in control of her body anymore. It was operating on autopilot. Fucking itself into release.

And here came the release….

She felt one of Lex’s hands on her body as she came. Chloe thought it was to keep her on the bed. She was bucking up something awful. Her release was good and long and she screamed Lex’s name as she came.

Her cunt still fluttered around Lyle for about a minute before she felt herself relaxing. Her little performance had caused her to be covered in sweat. She opened her eyes to look up at Lex.

He was staring at her, amazed at the show he’d seen. Chloe had almost levitated off the bed and Lex didn’t think he’d ever seen a woman come that long or that hard without any stimulation to her clit.

His plan had been to fuck her with the toy until she was good and ready and then let his mouth do the rest. She’d gotten ahead of him. Well, that didn’t mean he couldn’t catch up.

The toy had slipped halfway out of her slick pussy already, so Lex took a hold of it and pushed it back inside. “Think you’re done?”

All he got as answer was a grunt from Chloe and her hips bucking up to take the vibrator deeper. “I think not.”


tbc

Well I definitely think Chloe's fully aware what's going on so the drunkiness doesn't matter so much. Hopefully she'll keep her promise and not feel awkward about this in the morning. That was quite a display of awesome smut and I the humor was top notch as well. Lex has definitely got to do his part to make up for the lack of sex in Chloe's life and hopefully he won't let her go so long without sex again. Though now I'm really worried and they should check to make sure those condoms aren't expired. Though I don't think you'd guys would do that again, especially since this is supposed to be the funny smutty story. Looking forward to more smut and humor in the next update.

You weren’t kidding when you said this was a story dedicated to humourous smut… or was it smutty humour? Whatever the case, it was hot, and sexy!

I’m glad you clarified Chloe and Lex’s relationship. It seems like they are friends, and have been such for quite a long time now… with a couple of forays and explorations into being something more.

I have to say, I was MAJORLY disappointed in Chloe upon finding out about her wishy washy reaction to the times when she and Lex tried the whole ‘exploration into something more than friends’, only to inexplicably pull back. She must have really hurt Lex’s feelings. Not only did she deny their ‘exploring’, but also she even avoided him for a couple of days (weeks?) afterwards. What a callous and heartless thing to do, and I think it’s a miracle Lex let her get away with such callous behaviour.

If LEX had been the one to pull away without referring to ‘The Incident’ ever again, I can bet that Chloe would NEVER have allowed him to get away with that.

Quote:

---

She shifted around a little more and then realized she was still on top of him. “Am I too heavy?” She raised her head. “I’m probably crushing your aristocratic bones.”

“Nope,” he said as he moved some hair out of her face, “not heavy at all. But my aristocratic bones are probably giving your plebian skin some bruises.” She’d always been fair and bruised easily.

---

I had to laugh at the reference to ‘aristocratic bones’ and ‘plebian skin’ over here. It was such an adorable bit of snarky play between them. Loved it! ROTFLMAO!

In fact, most of their conversation throughout the smut was cute, adorable… and I really enjoyed how it showed the playful side of Lex’s personality. I thought it was cute that he found Chloe’s drunken state of verbosity and craziness adorable… even if it was a little difficult to keep track of the crazy tangents her mind would run off in.

With regards to the amount of time Chloe has been without sex. WHAT was she thinking?! She’s had a potential bit of luscious beef-cake (or candy store, LOL) to indulge in, and she’s been RUNNING AWAY from that potential??!! That sounds like such…cowardly behaviour from Chloe. Oh well, I just hope she remembers enough from this drunken night to know that she promised Lex that she will not be running away this time.

Although, it would be interesting to see what would happen if Lex decided he wasn’t going to be lenient and put up with that kind of callous and cowardly behaviour anymore. How WOULD be go about chasing her down the morning after?

Hmmm, they DID check the expiry dates on the condoms, right? Actually, this would provide the perfect excuse to get involved in another ‘pregnancy fic’. Old condoms = oops!

The smut was lovely and hot, but I have to admit, I enjoyed the dialogue and humour aspect of this fic more than the thrusting. Does this mean I’m maturing as a reader?

I look forward to your next update. On this fic, or any other… How goes Arrangement??!! Not that I’m showing favourtism or anything…

WOW!!!!!! Maybe Chloe wasn't as drunk as she pretended to be. Evil as always for leaving it there. Can't wait for more.

DAMN!! That was HOT!!! :drool2:

Damn girls that was H.O.T :D Can't wait for the next chapter ;)

NOthing better then a drunken Chloe. Hot as usual :)

OMG
Please don`t stop there... things are getting so hot
:)
Amazing job

My, my this is a fun story. Completely hilarious!! Can't wait for more!!

Another great piece of comedic smut. Looking forward to more.

:drool2:

:drool2: :respect: :hankpank: :wub: :hug: :worship: :smoke: :clapclap:

yea i can't form any words after reading that so those will have to do haha

can't wait for the next update!!

Heather

...

*Dead Dragon*

...

*Pants*

Whew.

A/N: Blue: This is the way the fic ends, with some whimpers and a bang. Enjoy!

A/N: Sabby: There she goes, abusing old Elliot. (Not that we haven't done that before). But anyway, here's the last chapter to this little story. We hope you enjoy and leave us that lovely feedback that makes us want to keep posting stuff.



He was still grinning as he kissed his way down her body, giving both nipples a hard nip before sliding his mouth down her stomach and past her curls.

Pushing his thumb against the bottom of the toy, he kept it inside her as he parted her pussy with the fingers of his other hand and gave a broad lick from bottom to top. Her taste was stronger now, spicy and a bit salty.

Chloe bucked wildly and he felt her hand suddenly at the base of his neck, pressing his face into her crotch. Lex took that as a hint and went to town, licking and sucking at the soft, slick flesh, concentrating on her clit as the toy buried inside her buzzed away.

She started screaming profanities almost immediately, interspersed with his name and wordless grunts and moans.

His cock was hard as stone by now, throbbing in anticipation. He couldn’t wait to fuck her as soon as he was done driving her crazy with his mouth. She’d said something about many pent up orgasms earlier.

Lex smirked as her yelling reached a fever pitch and her hips moved out of control, nearly suffocating him with her pussy.

She’d get to make up for quite a few of those before he was done with her.

Moving the hand that wasn’t holding the toy inside her body, he reached out for the condoms he knew were lying around here somewhere and found a package with blind luck.

When Chloe was able to move again, two good orgasms were a little much for her to take after not having any really good ones in awhile, she saw Lex crawling back up her body. He was completely naked now except for a condom. It was a very good look for him.

She felt him pull out the vibe and Chloe groaned at the loss. But not for long. When their eyes locked, Lex slid his cock inside. She bucked up against him and held onto his sides. He didn’t move yet.

After wrapping her legs around him, Chloe closed her eyes and used her cunt to squeeze his cock. A toy couldn’t compare to the real thing. Especially when Lex’s cock was nice and thick.

She saw that Lex still had Lyle in his hand. He supported his weight on one forearm. He brought Lyle down to her level, running the damp toy over her bottom lip. Chloe flicked out her tongue and tasted herself on the toy. She wrapped her lips around it and sucked it into her mouth.

Lex’s eyes were rooted to her as she fellated Lyle.

Her hips moved restlessly but Lex kept his still. He obviously had a plan.

Once Lyle was cleaned off, Lex took him out of her mouth. “You’ll be doing that again for me before I leave.”

“Good,” she panted out. She liked watching Lex lose it as he was down her throat. “Looking forward to it.”

She smiled up at him and was distracted by their conversation. Which was why she hadn’t noticed where Lyle was going. She felt him on her tit and gasped. Her gasp turned into something else when Lex increased the setting.

A garbled scream came out of Chloe’s mouth that trailed off with a strangled exhale of his name.

Lex bit his own lip as her hips jerked into him, inner muscles squeezing tightly around his dick. It took him a moment to notice the pressure on his arm where she’d grabbed him and was digging her nails into his bicep.

He moved the toy to her other breast, circling around the areola and slowly closing in on the tight little bud of her nipple. She pushed her chest into the sensation and more garbled moans and grunts spilled from her mouth before she finally managed coherent words.

“More, fuck me, do it, goddamn fucking…teassssss.” The last word trailed off in a hiss of breath as Lex slowly pulled himself out and thrust back in fast, then stilled again.

“So greedy,” he said with a smug smile as Chloe’s hips kept pumping, trying to keep him moving. “I like it.”

He moved the toy away from her nipple and down the center of her chest, stifling a moan as her muscles clenched around him when the vibrator dipped into her belly button.

“Lex, damnit, fuck…” Another wordless sound and her hips started to move more insistently.

She was fucking herself on his cock as much as possible, getting more and more frustrated and needy as he kept running the vibe over her sensitive spots. Her eyes were screwed shut and her face a grotesque mask of pleasure and need. The hand on his arm clenched and her nails dug more fiercely into his skin.

“God, damnit, shit, fuck, Lex, fucking do it, fuck me, hard, need it.”

He didn’t relent, keeping his hips still as he pressed the toy against the crease of her leg, slowly running it back and forth over the sensitive skin.

She took him by surprise when her other arm lashed out and her hand took the back of his neck in a surprisingly strong grip, pulling him down until they were face to face.

“Stop. Teasing. And. Fuck Me.” The words were gritted out with obvious effort and all he could see were her eyes, wild and her pupils blown wide with arousal and need. “Please!”

Finally. His cock twitched inside her and her inner muscles clamped down on it immediately. He’d been waiting for her to beg. Wanted to see her completely surrender to her need.

“That’s the magic word,” he rasped out, finally allowing himself to fuck her properly.

Lex pulled out and thrust back in to the hilt, setting up a fast and hard rhythm, letting his own arousal build low in his stomach at the feeling of tight, hot, wet friction.

“Bastard,” she cursed as her hips moved in counter point to his.

“Yeah, and you love it.” He reared back up and hooked one arm around her thigh.

The toy moved down the crease of her thigh and he brought it between them, feeling it buzz against his length with every thrust as he pressed it against the top of her pussy.

“Oh, god help me, I fucking do.” There were a number of kinds of Lexs. But smug, arrogant bastard Lex was an amazing fuck.

“Yeah, fuck me. Hard. Lex.” She circled her hips and cried out as he pitched further inside of her.

“You like it deep?” His voice was almost unrecognizable from his usual speaking one. It was deep and gravelly with breaks in it.

Chloe nodded and whimpered a little. She could feel both him and Lyle working her over. She felt another orgasm coming on.

Lex pulled up and away from her and Chloe started to follow and complain at the same time. “Shh, trust me. It’ll be good.” He brushed some hair out of her face and Chloe watched as he eased back a little, his cock leaving her body, and positioned himself on his knees.

He pressed Lyle harshly against her clit and Chloe hand’s fisted at her sides. Just as she was about to come, the toy was gone. “Fuck!” A chuckle. She glared at him. “This orgasm better be worth it you bitch.”

Her words only seemed to amuse him even more. Yes, she wanted to throttle him and fuck him into the ground…but she could also see the humor in the situation.

Seeing what Lex was doing, Chloe scooted down the bed and laid her thighs over his so they could recouple again. She held her pussy open with her fingers as Lex guided his cock back inside.

The tension inside him was mounting steadily, but Lex gritted his teeth against it as he thrust hard and deep, pushing her close to the edge again. He bit the inside of his cheek bloody, the pain just enough to stop him from coming on the spot as her muscles clamped around his dick.

Then he forced himself to pull out again, barely hearing the curses Chloe spewed out, too focused on reining in his own arousal. She was not the only one being tortured here. He waited another moment, breathing heavily then pressed the entire length of the vibrator against her pussy, watching as she humped herself against the toy in her strain to get off.

At the first sign that she was about to let go, he pulled the vibe away from her and watched as she humped the air in sheer frustration.

“Fucking son of a bitch!”

His own breathing was harsh, but he laughed at that and let her come away from the edge, waiting it out before he moved forward again and thrust back inside. Her pussy tightened immediately around him, almost sucking him in until he bottomed out inside her. The coil of tension low in his belly wound tighter and he could feel his balls drawing up in preparation for his own climax.

“Fuck, yeah.”

Lex barely managed to remember to bring the vibrator back and push it against her clit as he felt it coming. The knot exploded and gave way to pleasure, flashing through his entire body as he kept thrusting erratically against the clenching muscles of her pussy.

He kept moving, even as lucidity came back, opening his eyes just in time to watch Chloe’s face screwed up with intense pleasure, still in the throws of her orgasm as she screamed obscenities to the ceiling and tore the sheets under her hands.

When her hips finally stopped moving and she practically collapsed into a limp sprawl, he took the toy away from her pussy and turned it off, throwing it aside onto the mattress.

“Told you it was worth it.” The smug remark wasn’t as pointed as it should be being that his voice sounded a little too exhausted.

Chloe looked up at Lex. He looked wrecked, too. She couldn’t blame him, though, he’d put a lot of effort into their fuck. And it had paid off in the end. “For both of us,” she pointed out. “I may not have been in this position in a while but I can still tell when a man comes hard.”

She crooked a finger at him. “C’mere.” Chloe let Lex hear her gasp as he pulled out. Before he lay down next to her, he took the condom off and deposited it in the trash can. She wrapped her arms around him as he pulled alongside of her and said, “I hope you don’t think I’m letting you out of here until we do that again.”

“Numerous times.” Chloe kissed the side of his head. “Maybe until one of us actually pulls something.” Her whole body was humming and satiated but she wondered how long that would last with a naked and willing Lex next to her.

~~

“Yeah, just like that. Fuck, Lex.” Needless to say, Lex hadn’t had a problem staying with her. They’d talked some after their first screw and felt each other up a lot.

He was on top of her again, moving hard and fast. Maybe they’d take it slow but Chloe thought not. At least, not until she got a few more fucks.

Lex started to move her legs up. She grabbed her knees and pulled them to her chest. “Wanna try something different,” Lex said, shaking his head.

“What did you have in mind?” She pulled at his cock with her pussy.

He looked down at her and grinned. “Churning the cream.”

Chloe burst out laughing. She should have been looking at him because in the next instant she shrieked as he delivered a brutal thrust. “Ok, ok, let’s churn some cream. Show me how.”

Lex started to move her legs off to the side as he got to his knees. “Ow, Lex. Ow! My legs don’t bend that way.” It looked like he was trying to get her knees level with her ears.

He rolled his eyes and let up on the movement for a moment. “Roll your hips and spread your legs wider.”

Smoothing his hands up the underside of her thigh he bent her knees to make it a little more comfortable. Gripping the back of her thighs and pressing them to her stomach, he sat up on his heels and shifted forward to squat over her.

It had been a while, but this position could be very pleasurable for both parties, enabling deep penetration and friction on her clit. Which she would realize in a moment.

He moved one hand away from the back of her thigh to guide his dick inside, and sank down in one long smooth stroke until he hit bottom.

Lex’s cock had hit her just right and Chloe came before she was even aware that she was ready. “Oh god!” She heard the surprise in her voice and let the feeling wash over her. She made sure to increase the pressure on Lex’s cock once she was done.

“Fuck, such a good idea.” She turned her head to the side and could feel herself climbing again. With every down stroke Lex brushed up against her clit. She braced her hands under her and thrust up as much as she could.

Chloe picked up on the circular motion that Lex was using with his cock and first matched it and then tried going the other way.

“Oh, fucking sweet god.” Her eyes rolled into the back of her head. “Coming again. Oh, god, oh god, ohhhhhhh goooooooood!”

This time, Chloe felt Lex release himself inside of her. This orgasm had been even more powerful than the last and her muscles had fastened onto his cock like a vice.

Lex stopped his motions for a few seconds before pulling out of her. He flopped down out of her line of sight. Chloe tried to speak but the words weren’t coming. Instead, they both lay there, panting.

~~

There was no way in hell she was going to get weird tomorrow. Because, as far as she saw things, this weekend fuckfest didn’t have to be a one time deal.

Chloe kissed Lex’s chest as his hands ran over her back. She worked her mouth up until she could pull him in for a long, wet kiss. They’d been petting each other for about twenty minutes now and she could feel that Lex was ready to go again. She wondered briefly if he’d unlocked some sort of nymphomaniac gene in her. And found that she didn’t care if he had.

She squealed in delight a little when his hands found her ass and started to massage it. Chloe started to undulate against him. She sucked his lower lip into her mouth and then lightly worried it with her teeth.

One of his hands dipped lower and Chloe spread her legs for him. She bucked harshly against him and tore her mouth from his when she felt one of his fingers teasing her rear entrance.

When she opened her eyes, his were boring into her. Chloe spread her legs a little more in invitation. His hand dipped lower and around, fingers picking up some of her juices before the finger returned to its former position.

He eased the finger in and Chloe started to move against it as she grabbed at his shoulders. “Time for you and Lyle,” she moaned out. “Lube in bedside table. Middle drawer.”

Lex was a little surprised at her easy acquiescence, but didn’t worry about it too much. With a last quick kiss on her mouth he pulled back and rolled her onto her stomach. “Don’t move.”

During their down periods, he’d noticed a floor length mirror standing in the corner. He’d meant to make use of that before, but hadn’t gotten around to it yet.

Since he had to get up to get at the nightstand anyway, he made quick work of getting the mirror and rolling it over until it faced her side of the bed.

“Ever watched yourself during sex?” he asked as he retrieved the lube from the middle drawer, after some routing around through various junk.

Chloe’s brows arched and she answered with a grin and a, “Maybe.”

Chuckling, Lex climbed over her until he was straddling her thighs and started trailing kisses across her back, skating his palms over the skin in broad strokes. She’d obviously had anal sex before, but taking things slow couldn’t hurt.

She hummed and wiggled a little as his kisses roamed lower and Lex started to flutter his tongue over the sensitive spots at the base of her spine.

He reached out to grab the lube again and squeezed a good-sized dollop onto the fingers of his left, spreading the slick gel until it warmed up a little.

A quick nip to the left cheek made her jerk then push up her hips in invitation as his fingers skated through her slick pussy and up to the tiny pink opening. Lex rubbed his finger over the wrinkled skin before he slowly pushed one finger inside.

Chloe immediately pushed back, taking his finger easily.

“You do this a lot with Lyle?” he asked curiously as he moved his finger back and forth, then added a second.

She watched both herself and Lex in the mirror for a moment before answering. His cock stood out from his body, clearly ready for some attention. Her eyes drifted down to where his fingers were fucking her ass and her breathing sped up. She watched as her body reacted to Lex’s touch and finally her eyes drifted up to meet his in the mirror.

“Wouldn’t say a lot.” She used him on her pussy a lot. Every now and again she’d play with her ass but she preferred a partner for that type of action. “My last boyfriend really liked anal,” she said by way of explanation.

It had taken them some time to get to that point but after it had become more comfortable for her she had to admit that she liked it. It was something different and she, or her partner, could also tend to her pussy.

Chloe watched as her tongue licked her lips in the mirror and her legs widened. Lex slipped another finger into her and her hips beat against the mattress. “But I never used his cock and Lyle at the same time.”

She did her best to look innocent in her current position as she looked at Lex from lowered lids, “You’ll be my first.”

Lex chuckled and twisted his fingers inside her before pulling them out. “There won’t be many firsts left after today I’d wager,” he said as he grabbed one of the foil packages and put on a condom.

A few quick strokes with his slick fingers had the condom lubed up as well and Lex positioned himself behind her. He took hold of his cock and slowly pushed against the tiny opening until it gave and the head of his dick slid inside.

“Damn, for relaxing so fast, you’re still fucking tight,” he commented through gritted teeth as he slowly pushed deeper.

Chloe didn’t answer at first, unless the long drawn out moan and rising up to push back into him could be considered an answer.

Buried inside her, his balls brushing against the slick flesh of her pussy, Lex stilled for a moment. The feeling was different, but no less or more intense than being inside her cunt.
Warm, tight and slick around his cock.

His head turned to look at them in the mirror, seeing his body blanketing hers, Chloe’s face buried in the pillows as she waited for him to move.

Lex hooked one hand under her shoulder, and pulled her slowly. “Turn over.”

He managed to stay inside her as he rolled over onto his side so they were both facing the mirror. “I want to see your face when you come, and that’s not going to work if you’re going to bury it in the pillows.”

Taking hold of her leg, he lifted it slightly and watched her face as he slowly started to move his hips, rolling them on every thrust into her.

Chloe watched as Lex began to move behind her. His movement jostled her body and she watched as it rocked. Her tits swaying and hands fisting as the speed picked up a little.

One of Lex’s hands rested on her hip and she laced their fingers together before moving it to her breast. They massaged the mound and she began to fuck him back harder.

When Lex found a rhythm between his cock and his hand, Chloe let his hand go and reached in front of her. Lyle was sitting innocently and dormant on the mattress.

Her eyes focused on the metallic cylinder but she got distracted by her and Lex in the mirror.

His hand was palming her breast and he was kissing whatever skin he could reach with his mouth. She could feel his balls against her ass. When their eyes locked he circled his hips and thrust forward.

Chloe whimpered but kept her eyes open to see their responses. She saw, rather than felt, her hand wrap around Lyle.

As she brought it closer to her body, Lex raised her leg a little to give her more room to work with.

She could feel Lex’s cock, hot and hard, in her ass. Chloe’s breaths came closer and closer together, her tits jerking more.

The toy dipped between her legs, contrasting greatly with the flushed, pink skin that she saw in the mirror, and Chloe jerked as she ran it over her pussy.

“Get it nice and wet.” Lex’s voice in her ear, encouraging her. “Yeah, just like that. Gonna feel so good.”

She spent about a minute making sure that Lyle was drenched with her juices. Lex held her leg and she put the tip of the toy at her cunt.

Chloe raised her eyes and watched in the mirror.

The widening eyes. The mouth dropping open and a guttural noise coming out. That’s what she heard and saw as she slipped Lyle into her body. Hips jerking and Lex’s arm moving again, this time around her side.

What she felt was two cocks inside of her. Both of them hard. Then, she turned Lyle on. Another whimper from her.

She moved it in and out of her pussy. In and out. Her hips and hand finding a rhythm.

And Chloe started to groan. But she didn’t stop the motion of her hand. Just matched it to Lex’s thrusts. As he pulled out, she plunged Lyle in.

Lex’s hand moved down her side and between her legs. In the mirror, he could see that Chloe was timing the thrusts of the toy in counterpoint to his own and he slowly picked up the speed.

His fingers slipped lower and parted her pussy-lips to watch the toy slide in and out of her in fast hard movements. His gaze shifted to take in her entire body. Her breasts heaved with every harsh breath, flushed and sweaty from exertion. Her face was slack with slowly growing pleasure.

“You look fucking hot like that,” he murmured into her ear as his arm snaked under her neck and around to press her back against him.

“But you know what looks even hotter?” His hand closed over one breast and kneaded it, tweaking the nipple between his fingers.

Chloe gasped and pushed into the touch before breathlessly asking, “What?”

Instead of answering, Lex snaked the fingers between her legs under her hand and twisted the base of the toy until it was turned to the highest setting. Taking the toy away from her, he started pumping it faster, matching his own thrusts to that of the toy.

Her face screwed up and she screamed in pleasure, obscenities tumbling from her lips that would have made a sailor blush as her hips pumped wildly back and forth between his cock and the vibrator inside her.

“That,” he groaned into her ear as his own arousal built steadily, “is the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

His eyes stayed rooted to the mirror as they fucked, flitting back and forth between her face and the place where the toy thrust easily into her greedy little pussy.

Being that Lex had other things to focus on, Chloe had to tend to her own breast. She kneaded it as she felt her orgasm coming.

Lex’s words, cock and the way he was working the toy were quickly becoming something her body couldn’t handle. It was going into overload.

His cock and the toy picked up both speed and power. She rocked mercilessly between the two. She was sweating like a pig and trembling like a leaf. Her eyes raked over her body and she had to admit that it was an erotic sight. It increased when you added Lex to the picture.

She watched, unable to tear her eyes away, as he fucked her with the toy. She tried to open herself wider, wanted to feel it deeper as her body reached critical mass.

“Coming. Oh, god, gonna be hard.” She sounded like she was in pain and knew that her face probably told that story too but nothing could have been further from the truth.

The hand working her breast moved behind her and she used the mirror to guide her to the back of Lex’s neck. She wanted him as close as possible. “Fuck my ass harder.” She screamed his name. “Cunt harder.” Another scream.

Her voice rose and rose. “Coming! Coming! Coming!”

Then no words. Her throat closed off as her body bowed. Her back arching away from Lex and toes curling as something inside of her broke completely. She’d never felt anything like it before. The muscles in her ass and cunt clamping down together at the same time. Trapping two cocks in her body and milking them strongly.

Even though she was half out of her head, she did hear Lex scream her name behind her. At least she wasn’t the only one who’d been affected in a major way by what they were doing. He pumped brutally into her ass, his hand leaving Lyle trapped by her cunt muscles, as he bit down on her shoulder.

She moved with him and she felt his hand grab her breast and squeeze as his hips pumped one last time. Chloe felt him come through the condom as his body froze for a few seconds. She opened her eyes and watched his face as he came.

His eyes were screwed shut and she saw as agony turned into bliss. His whole body relaxed and she felt his hot breath on her skin.

“Amazing,” she murmured. Lyle was still buzzing away inside of her and she reached for the toy. Lex beat her there and moved her hand out of the way. Chloe moaned when the toy was pulled out.

Lex turned off the vibrator and tossed it onto the mattress, slinging his arm back around her waist. “Absolutely,” he agreed.

He pressed a kiss to the spot he’d bitten before he slowly pulled out, smirking at her small groan. Making quick work of the condom, he rolled back over to see that Chloe had flopped onto her back and was now sprawled out comfortably over most of the bed.

“Completely fucked out springs to mind, too” he commented as he lay down on his stomach beside her.

Lex reached out a hand and brushed it over the sweaty skin of her chest and stomach. “And we could probably both use a shower.”

They hadn’t left the bed since they’d tumbled into it, hours earlier. Lex idly wondered what time it was and took a glance at the alarm clock on the bedside table. The green numbers read 4:38 am. They’d left the reception around eight last night.

“Eight hours, that’s not happened in a while.”

He shifted a little closer and leaned up on his elbow, bracing his chin on his hand. “You’re not going to get weird on me once we leave this bed, are you?”

If she decided to do that, Lex would just have to hunt her down and convince her that fucking between friends wasn’t a bad thing. It could be a very good thing, especially between friends that both knew what they were doing in bed. Like they did.

“Are you kidding me?” Chloe propped herself up a little on her elbows. She shook her head. “Not after that. I mean, fuck Lex that was phenomenal. Besides, it would be kinda pointless. You’ve seen me in all sorts of positions. I doubt I’ll ever feel embarrassed around you again.”

She leaned over and gave him a lingering kiss. However, she started to giggle a little during it as she thought about something. “I bet you I had more orgasms in the last eight hours than Lana did.”

Lex smiled over at her as he ran his fingertips along her arm. “I bet you you had more orgasms in the last eight hours that Lana will ever have.” Clark wasn’t exactly Casanova.

“Excellent point,” she said as she stretched out her body. The hot water in the shower would do her a world of good. “And, I can only get better. I was out of practice, remember?” She thought about the days to come. She planned on fucking Lex into exhaustion every chance that she got.

“Oh, can we go to that shop you were telling me about in Metropolis?” She ran her foot up the side of his leg. It had been a few months ago. He’d talked about a shop that sold anything and everything to do with sex. There was even a back room where you could try out some items before buying them.

“Wicked Fun? Sure, we can go there.” There were quite a few things in that store that he hadn’t purchased, simply for the fact that he couldn’t see himself using them with a one off fuck. “We’ll find something suitable, I’m sure, to get you back into the swing of things. Solely for the purpose of practice, naturally.”

They weren’t in love or anything, but they were friends. Friends who liked to fuck and there was no reason they shouldn’t do it more often. It would also spare him the effort of looking for a new date every time he wanted a fuck.

“Naturally,” Chloe grinned back at him, “Practice does make perfect after all.”

Lex stretched out and felt tiredness finally creep up on him. Not surprising, considering the amount of sex he’d had in the last eight hours and the fact that he’d been awake for at least 18 hours now.

“You gonna kick me out or can I crash here?” he asked as his head hit the pillow.

If she wanted him out, she better make her decision fast, because otherwise he wouldn’t move a muscle until he’d gotten at least a few hours worth of sleep in.

“You know that saying ‘I wouldn’t kick him out of my bed’?” Lex nodded. “It definitely applies to you.”

The shower thing now was taking a back burner to sleep. She could see that Lex was just as exhausted as she was. “Can we go there tomorrow,” she asked as she lay back down and started to get the sheets untangled.

“S’closed.” Lex was almost asleep.

“You telling me that some Luthor dough can’t make the red seas, or in this case, doors to a sex shop, part?” Chloe yawned and then giggled. “I think Lyle’s lonely.”

She turned a little to look over at him.

“If I spend the money, you better put out.” He pointed a finger at her.

“Any and every way you want,” she agreed.

“Fine, tomorrow, now go to sleep.”

“You go to sleep,” she muttered back at him. She turned on her side and let out a long breath. Lex’s arm reached out and pulled her close to him. Chloe smiled against her pillow. She couldn’t wait for tomorrow.

The End.

OH...MY...GOD!!!!! Excellent ending to this fic.

This was a beautifully smutty story--excellent work:grin3:

Quote:

---

Lex’s eyes were rooted to her as she fellated Lyle.

Her hips moved restlessly but Lex kept his still. He obviously had a plan.

Once Lyle was cleaned off, Lex took him out of her mouth. “You’ll be doing that again for me before I leave.”

“Good,” she panted out. She liked watching Lex lose it as he was down her throat. “Looking forward to it.”

---

hot, hot HOT! I have to congratulate Lex (and BlueSabby) on the truly… ahem… imaginative uses of Lyle during their sex play. Chloe is NEVER going to be satisfied with handling a vibrator by herself again. Which is a good thing, because Lex will never give her the chance to go solo again. LOL!

Quote:

---

“Bastard,” she cursed as her hips moved in counter point to his.

“Yeah, and you love it.” He reared back up and hooked one arm around her thigh.

The toy moved down the crease of her thigh and he brought it between them, feeling it buzz against his length with every thrust as he pressed it against the top of her pussy.

“Oh, god help me, I fucking do.” There were a number of kinds of Lexs. But smug, arrogant bastard Lex was an amazing fuck.

---

ROTFLOL! It’s all the more funnier because it’s so true. Bastard Lex DOES give the most amazing sex-a-thon sessions. Thank you, BlueSabby, for saying out loud the words that we ALL guiltily harboured within ourselves. Sweet-Lex is swoon-worthy, but bastard-Lex is the one who really gets the motor revved up.

Quote:

---

He pressed Lyle harshly against her clit and Chloe hand’s fisted at her sides. Just as she was about to come, the toy was gone. “Fuck!” A chuckle. She glared at him. “This orgasm better be worth it you bitch.”

---

RoaringOTLMAO at hearing Lex being called a ‘bitch’. We can tolerate the bastard, because we all know, deep down, he’s really Chloe’s bitch. Again, THANK you, BS for stating this out loud. LOL!

[/QUOTE] He kept moving, even as lucidity came back, opening his eyes just in time to watch Chloe’s face screwed up with intense pleasure, still in the throws of her orgasm as she screamed obscenities to the ceiling and tore the sheets under her hands.

When her hips finally stopped moving and she practically collapsed into a limp sprawl, he took the toy away from her pussy and turned it off, throwing it aside onto the mattress.

“Told you it was worth it.” The smug remark wasn’t as pointed as it should be being that his voice sounded a little too exhausted.

Chloe looked up at Lex. He looked wrecked, too. She couldn’t blame him, though, he’d put a lot of effort into their fuck. And it had paid off in the end. “For both of us,” she pointed out. “I may not have been in this position in a while but I can still tell when a man comes hard.”[/QUOTE]

Wow! HAWT! The two of them are an indescribable combination. That orgasm would have had enough power take care of the energy crisis for the next fifty years AT LEAST!

I really loved that Lex came as hard as Chloe did. So we know it’s chemistry, and not ‘just’ the buildup of frustration that contributed to this kind of climax.

Quote:

---

Lex started to move her legs up. She grabbed her knees and pulled them to her chest. “Wanna try something different,” Lex said, shaking his head.

“What did you have in mind?” She pulled at his cock with her pussy.

He looked down at her and grinned. “Churning the cream.”

---

I raised my eyebrows here. Ooooh, sounds intriguing! What the heck does he mean by that?!

Quote:

---

It had been a while, but this position could be very pleasurable for both parties, enabling deep penetration and friction on her clit. Which she would realize in a moment.

He moved one hand away from the back of her thigh to guide his dick inside, and sank down in one long smooth stroke until he hit bottom.

Lex’s cock had hit her just right and Chloe came before she was even aware that she was ready. “Oh god!” She heard the surprise in her voice and let the feeling wash over her. She made sure to increase the pressure on Lex’s cock once she was done.

“Fuck, such a good idea.” She turned her head to the side and could feel herself climbing again. With every down stroke Lex brushed up against her clit. She braced her hands under her and thrust up as much as she could.

Chloe picked up on the circular motion that Lex was using with his cock and first matched it and then tried going the other way.

“Oh, fucking sweet god.” Her eyes rolled into the back of her head. “Coming again. Oh, god, oh god, ohhhhhhh goooooooood!”

---

wow! I am… in AWE! I think I’m going to printing out these pages to use as instruction later. Forget the Kama Sutra… All I need are the wise, wonderful and profound writings of BlueSabby!

Quote:

---

There was no way in hell she was going to get weird tomorrow. Because, as far as she saw things, this weekend fuckfest didn’t have to be a one time deal.

Chloe kissed Lex’s chest as his hands ran over her back. She worked her mouth up until she could pull him in for a long, wet kiss. They’d been petting each other for about twenty minutes now and she could feel that Lex was ready to go again. She wondered briefly if he’d unlocked some sort of nymphomaniac gene in her. And found that she didn’t care if he had.

---

I was glad to hear that Chloe planned to pursue this ‘thing’ later. And I really enjoyed the ‘little moments’ they kept enjoying between orgasms while they were panting and trying to regroup. How they couldn’t stop themselves from touching each other… even while they were trying to cool down from their last climax.

Quote:

---

One of his hands dipped lower and Chloe spread her legs for him. She bucked harshly against him and tore her mouth from his when she felt one of his fingers teasing her rear entrance.

When she opened her eyes, his were boring into her. Chloe spread her legs a little more in invitation. His hand dipped lower and around, fingers picking up some of her juices before the finger returned to its former position.

He eased the finger in and Chloe started to move against it as she grabbed at his shoulders. “Time for you and Lyle,” she moaned out. “Lube in bedside table. Middle drawer.”

Lex was a little surprised at her easy acquiescence, but didn’t worry about it too much. With a last quick kiss on her mouth he pulled back and rolled her onto her stomach. “Don’t move.”

---

I had to giggle at the sneaky and NOT overly-subtle way Lex was broaching the subject of anal sex. ROTFLOL!

And I still find anal sex squicky… but I was still pleased to see he and Chloe were so in sync and on the same wavelength that he didn’t have to try TOO hard to convince her to ‘give the rear-entrance a go’.

Quote:

---

Chloe watched as her tongue licked her lips in the mirror and her legs widened. Lex slipped another finger into her and her hips beat against the mattress. “But I never used his cock and Lyle at the same time.”

She did her best to look innocent in her current position as she looked at Lex from lowered lids, “You’ll be my first.”

---

ROTFLMAO at Chloe’s brazenly blatant attempt to mock-soothe Lex’s inner caveman like this. I’m glad it amused him too. LOL!

Quote:

---

Lex hooked one hand under her shoulder, and pulled her slowly. “Turn over.”

He managed to stay inside her as he rolled over onto his side so they were both facing the mirror. “I want to see your face when you come, and that’s not going to work if you’re going to bury it in the pillows.”

---

Heh, then again… Lex’s inner caveman doesn’t need to be soothed at this point. I didn’t feel any squickiness at all, Lex was quite gentle, and it’s all good… and HOT!!

The mirror helped in making this… THIRD sexual play of the night as creative and fun as the first two sessions. Verry nice!

Quote:

---

What she felt was two cocks inside of her. Both of them hard. Then, she turned Lyle on. Another whimper from her.

---

This part nearly made me come undone. The visualizations… the intensity, the way the two of them were doing everything to maximize every little sensation between the two of them. AMAZINGLY hot!!!!

Quote:

---

“You look fucking hot like that,” he murmured into her ear as his arm snaked under her neck and around to press her back against him.

“But you know what looks even hotter?” His hand closed over one breast and kneaded it, tweaking the nipple between his fingers.

Chloe gasped and pushed into the touch before breathlessly asking, “What?”

Instead of answering, Lex snaked the fingers between her legs under her hand and twisted the base of the toy until it was turned to the highest setting. Taking the toy away from her, he started pumping it faster, matching his own thrusts to that of the toy.

Her face screwed up and she screamed in pleasure, obscenities tumbling from her lips that would have made a sailor blush as her hips pumped wildly back and forth between his cock and the vibrator inside her.

“That,” he groaned into her ear as his own arousal built steadily, “is the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

---

Need. Cold. Shower. NOW! I don’t blame Chloe for having their nympho like tendencies tonight. She’s getting a while BUFFET of delights after months of starvation.

Quote:

---

His cock and the toy picked up both speed and power. She rocked mercilessly between the two. She was sweating like a pig and trembling like a leaf. Her eyes raked over her body and she had to admit that it was an erotic sight. It increased when you added Lex to the picture.

She watched, unable to tear her eyes away, as he fucked her with the toy. She tried to open herself wider, wanted to feel it deeper as her body reached critical mass.

“Coming. Oh, god, gonna be hard.” She sounded like she was in pain and knew that her face probably told that story too but nothing could have been further from the truth.

---

Chloe seems right on the edge of insanity over here. I hope Lex is not setting a dangerous (and difficult) precedent for himself this night. Can he guarantee this kind of fucking every time Chloe’s horny?

Quote:

---

Then no words. Her throat closed off as her body bowed. Her back arching away from Lex and toes curling as something inside of her broke completely. She’d never felt anything like it before. The muscles in her ass and cunt clamping down together at the same time. Trapping two cocks in her body and milking them strongly.

Even though she was half out of her head, she did hear Lex scream her name behind her. At least she wasn’t the only one who’d been affected in a major way by what they were doing. He pumped brutally into her ass, his hand leaving Lyle trapped by her cunt muscles, as he bit down on her shoulder.

---

Wow! This is the third time they’ve both come from IN-credibly explosively powerful orgasms. I know Chloe had months of frustrating buildup to contribute to these explosions… but what’s Lex’s excuse?

Quote:

---

They hadn’t left the bed since they’d tumbled into it, hours earlier. Lex idly wondered what time it was and took a glance at the alarm clock on the bedside table. The green numbers read 4:38 am. They’d left the reception around eight last night.

“Eight hours, that’s not happened in a while.”

He shifted a little closer and leaned up on his elbow, bracing his chin on his hand. “You’re not going to get weird on me once we leave this bed, are you?”

If she decided to do that, Lex would just have to hunt her down and convince her that fucking between friends wasn’t a bad thing. It could be a very good thing, especially between friends that both knew what they were doing in bed. Like they did.

---

Eight hours… wow! WHAT does he mean ‘that hasn’t happened IN A WHILE’??!!! You mean he’s had sex this good BEFORE??!! With WHO??!! WHEN?!

I made a face at Lex’s idea of him and Chloe becoming ‘friends with benefits’… Such relationships NEVER end well. Someone invariably ends up putting more meaning and emotion in the sex than the other ‘friend’ and the relationship ends up breaking apart with accusations and screaming recrimination. It’s NOT pretty!

The best I can hope for is that Lex and Chloe will fall in love together.

Quote:

---

“Oh, can we go to that shop you were telling me about in Metropolis?” She ran her foot up the side of his leg. It had been a few months ago. He’d talked about a shop that sold anything and everything to do with sex. There was even a back room where you could try out some items before buying them.

---

heh, I don’t suppose the shop is located in Amsterdam, is it?

Quote:

---

They weren’t in love or anything, but they were friends. Friends who liked to fuck and there was no reason they shouldn’t do it more often. It would also spare him the effort of looking for a new date every time he wanted a fuck.

---

And again, I have to cringe at the cavalier, casual way Lex is assessing the possibility of having some ‘extra fun’ with his only friend in the whole world. You’d have thought he would have learned to treasure all the ‘real relationships’ he’s lucky enough to form in his life.

Quote:

---

“You telling me that some Luthor dough can’t make the red seas, or in this case, doors to a sex shop, part?” Chloe yawned and then giggled. “I think Lyle’s lonely.”

She turned a little to look over at him.

“If I spend the money, you better put out.” He pointed a finger at her.

---

ROTFLMAO! ANY other circumstances, and Lex would have been slapped in the face and charged with extreme ‘assholery’. Over here, it’s hilarious.

This was a very nice story. Filled with some of the most delicious smut I have had the pleasure of reading. It might have been a PWP, but it was a very well-written series of smutty PWPs.

But let’s get back to intense plot now, shall we? Pretty please. How goes the conflicted and ‘suffering’ pair that is Arrangement Chlex?

LMAO at all of Chloe's language about Lex teasing her. Just when I think you guys can't possibly come up with a new way to write smut, you surprise me. That was truly amazing. Very glad that there is no weirdness and they are going to continue this friends with benefits thing. Just wish we could find out more about what they decide to get from the sex shop.

i loved this story!:drool2:

DAMN!! DAMN!! DAMN!! THat is all I can say. :drool2::drool2::drool2:

:shocked:
Holy frakking god!:worship:

Oh man that was incredible hot!! Ahhh the advantages of being friends with benifits, and about that sex shop, the first thing i thought of was the one from U.E. Amazing story as always, and how soon can you two put up another poll??

I looooooooooove this fic!!!!!!!

If there was more to the story I couldn't wait till tomorrow. I loved it!! Loved it!!

Wow, that was amazing. How do you keep coming up with such new and inventive smut? I'm really impressed. :)

Damn! That is all. my brain's kind of fried right now...

Jesus fuck that was hot. I loved every sweat-soaked minute of this chapter. I would worship at your feet if you deigned to write an equally delicious, sweat soaked sequel to this wonderful piece of smut. I must now find a cold shower. Or Lyle.

Yum, I just got my daily dose of smut, doctor recommended. That was great stuff. =]

GREATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! Awsome fic. Really incredible. Congrats!

that was the hottest fic i'vew ever read. great job you guys :D

AWW!! Another adorable story! Drunk Chloe cracks me up. She seems incredibly fun and just hilarious :lol:. What I especially loved was just how sexy Lex sounded here as he satisfied her and just went along with her jokes, games and just everything. He sounds so sexy and sweet, I loved it!:D

Holy Mother of GOD!!! I think I just found my script for the first night my hubby is back from Iraq! Damn, it's hot in here. *fans self and changes into less clothes*

THAT WAS FREAKIN AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh man that was incredibly hot! I absolutely love this fic great job!

Very awesome ... erotic ... and fun

Three words:

hot!

Hot!

HOT!

If you get my meaning! lol

drunk horny chloe is so great and an hornable lex is even better.

Quote:

---

Chloe walked over and started talking to the dude with the camera. Henry. But she only stayed there for a few minutes. She understood why he was alone.

---

Just read this & had to check the posting date -- 2007. Impressive. What other prescient spoilers do ya'll have hidden in your stories?!?

Wow... just Wow! That was super hot!

This was definitely one of my favorites! BlueSabby you have outdone yourself!!!!! I thought this was an excellent story - I can't say enough good things about it. I loved it all, the friendship, the romance, all of it! It is probably one I will find myself reading again becasue it is just that good! :) Thank you for sharing! :)

wow! Wouldn't mind a bit of Lex myself:)

Hot delicious fic :)

that was hot. I wish I got a ride home from lex

My goodness! The threesome between Chloe, Lex & Lyle was so hot. I loved that they were teasing each other. This line was especially good:
"She glared at him. “This orgasm better be worth it you bitch.”

Inventive fic.

Um ... okay having slight problems breathing now and I think that I need to sit down. Oh wait, I am sitting down. That was amazing, I love Chlex and I imagine that a Clark/Lana's wedding would be boring.

fun and sexy, the best kind of story

Oh my god...that was soo HOT! No other words....

Great job!

Loved it! Oh. My. Gosh. SO HOT. Seriously, I love the Chloe/Lex/Lyle DP. Wow. Just wow.

Also, seriously lol... "If I spend the money, you better put out." Oh, classic Lex. And so true.

That was hot... damn! Great fic

wham, bam, thank you ma'am