'My Holiday' (PG13) 8/1/12 - Signs of the Soul Within

Title: 'My Holiday'
Series: Signs of the Soul Within
Author: zadie
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own anything and no infringement is intended. I'm just taking the toys out of the box for a while, I promise to put them back in one piece.
Genre: Totally AU
Spoilers: Not many, maybe for the series generally.

A/N: Not sure if this is really classified as angst but there wasn't a forum for Dark/Creepy so I figured this was the closest. Also, I apologise for any clashes of tense in this. It was originally longer but scripted in flashbacks so when I mushed it together, I probably didn't catch everything.

Any and all feedback is, as always, appreciated and adored.


My Holiday

Knox couldn’t wait for the school day to end. It was Friday and straight after school his parents were taking him away for Winter break. They were going to London, in England which was all the way across the ocean. His mom had told him all about the museums and castles they would visit and the real live guards who rode their horses down the main streets of the city so they could watch over the Queen. They even had real swords. Knox had really wanted a sword for his birthday but his Mommy had said he had to wait until he was older.

As he hurried down the steps he saw his Mommy waiting for him, wrapped in a big coat because of the cold. She stood in front of the big black car that usually picked him up, her pale scarf matching the white of her breath as she breathed.

“Mommy!” he called excitedly, running across the brown and snow dusted grass toward her. As always his Mommy turned to where he was running and smiled, reaching out her arms to catch him in a hug.

His Mommy was beautiful, everybody said so. She had golden hair like an angel and pretty green eyes. And when she smiled it made Knox feel happy and special, like he could do anything. She always looked pretty, her clothes were nice and she smelled like sunshine and summertime. Sometimes she’d put on dresses and go to parties with his Dad. Knox would watch them leave from the top of the stairs, even though he was supposed to be in bed. He thought she looked like a princess from a story and his Dad was the handsome prince.

“How was school today honey?” his Mommy asked and Know told her about the homework Miss Jessup had given them for over the holidays.

“We have to write about what we’re going to do on our holidays. It has to be a whole page long!” he said, knowing his Mommy would be as happy as he was about getting to write so much. Mommy helped him write stories all the time at home and sometimes they were five pages long, so one page would be easy.

Just then Knox heard another voice and he turned in his Mommy’s arms to see his Dad walking around the back of the car. He was on his phone but when he saw Knox he ended the call and came over to them.

“Dad!” Knox couldn’t help shouting in excitement, and he left his Mommy to hug his Dad. Dad was usually working so he couldn’t pick him up from school and sometimes he couldn’t even come to dinner because he had to work. Knox was always glad when his Dad could be there because it made things extra special.

His Dad was quieter than lots of the other dads. He didn’t shout or yell or even laugh out loud like Mitchell Parker’s dad, who sounded like one of the monkey’s on the nature channel. Mitchell Parker’s dad was not smart or strong like Knox’s Dad. His Dad didn’t have any hair, because he got hurt when he was just a little boy and it made all his hair fall out. Knox knew that some of the boys in his class said his Dad looked strange because he had no hair but Knox thought Dad looked tough and strong. He didn’t care what they said.

He knew his Dad was important and that he had an important job in the tallest building in the city. He had been there before and everyone was always very nice to him and treated him like a grown up because his Dad was so important. Knox liked to visit with his Dad at work.

Now he giggled as his Dad swung him up into the car, so happy that they were all going away together. His Dad helped his Mommy into the car too, careful to make sure she didn’t slip on the icy pavement or trip over anything.

The man who drove the car shut the door and Knox had to try really hard to be good and not jump in his seat like he wanted to. He wasn’t supposed to jump in the car when it was moving, Mommy said it was dangerous. He was supposed to sit properly on the seat so he didn’t slide off. Mommy usually sat beside him with her arm around him to make sure he didn’t slide off. But now he was bigger he could do it all by himself. His Dad sat next to Mommy, making sure she didn’t slide off the seat either.

His Dad loved his Mom, he was always telling her so. And he always hugged and kissed her and when they went out he held her hand or put an arm around her back. Sometimes Knox would get to walk between them and his Mom would put her arm around him and he liked that.

He watched as his Dad put his arm around his Mommy, his hand sitting on top of Knox’s new baby brother, where he was growing inside Mommy’s tummy. Mommy didn’t smile like she did when Knox hugged her and she didn’t hug him back and tell him he was special, like she did to Knox but he knew that’s because his Dad was a grown up and it was different for grown ups. They had to be more serious. His Dad was a man and men had to be even more serious than girls. Men had to look after their families and work and keep watch over the people they loved, just like Dad said.

His Dad was always looking after them. He kept good watch over Knox and an extra special good watch over Mommy. Dad always wanted to know where she had been and what she had been doing to make sure she was safe. Sometimes he’d ask Knox, just to make sure Knox was taking good care of Mommy too, so he tried hard and told Dad everything that they did, and he hardly ever forgot anything. It made his Dad proud. Knox knew that a man had to look after his family and to watch over the people that belonged to him. When he grew up, Knox knew he would be a proper man, just like his Dad.

Knox was also good at finding things, which Dad said he got from his Mommy, who had once been a reporter for the newspaper. He liked to pretend that he was a reporter for the newspaper and he found mysteries and chased leads and uncovered the truth just like Mommy did. Mommy was always very happy when he told her about wanting to be a reporter.

Sometimes he would find mysteries that he knew were secrets. Knox knew about secrets but Dad said that sometimes he wouldn't be able to understand about what the secrets meant until he was a grown up. But Knox knew he had to keep secrets, so that people outside their family didn't use them and try to hurt Knox or Mommy or Dad. So when Knox found a mystery that was a secret he had to go to Dad, because Dad would always know the answer and help Knox solve the mystery. Like the time one of their maids has a strange camera with her and it turned out that she had been trying to steal business things from his Dad. Or the time the man had been watching Knox and Mommy when they went to the park on Saturday afternoon. Dad had said he was a bad man who wanted to hurt Mommy and if Knox hadn’t spotted him, he might have been able to hurt her.

Knox had been so proud that he had been able to help protect Mommy. Dad had been proud too and he gave Knox a special watch as a reward. Knox was too little to wear it yet but when he was older he would be able to. Mommy had been very quiet, Dad said it was because she had been scared by the man. Knox had to give her lots of hugs to make her feel better and Dad had given her a pretty necklace. Mommy had loved it and wore it always.

There was also the time he had found the medicine in the library. He’d been looking for the big book with the pictures of the soldiers and horses in it and while he was trying to reach it on the shelf, all the other books had fallen off onto the floor.

The mystery book looked like a normal book but inside were lots of small yellow candies. He knew they weren’t candy but medicine. He took the bag and the book to his Dad, because medicine shouldn’t be in the library.

His Dad had looked at the medicine, and Knox knew he had been thinking really hard, because he had been quiet for a long time.

“You’re right, they are medicine” he said “A special kind of medicine. For girls.”

“Does Mom know about it?” Knox asked because she was the only girl that lived in their house, except for the maids.

“Oh I’m sure your mother knows all about it.” his Dad said.

“Did she put it there? Why did she put her medicine in the library? Did she forget it?”

“She must have. Don’t worry, I’ll give it back to her. Thank you for bringing it to me. I’m proud of you”

Knox had been so happy the rest of the day that he had found Mommy’s medicine and made Dad proud.

He had had a strange dream that night. He was in the dark but he could hear his parents talking even though they were far away.

“I had wondered why you had failed to conceive, given all of our ..efforts recently”

There was the sound of something being put down on the table, kind of like a crinkly plastic bag sound.

“Quite ingenious really. If a little unimaginative.”

“I’m sorry to disappoint” his Mom had said but her voice had been all funny, not sorry sounding at all.

“Who gave them to you?”

In the dream he couldn’t hear his Mommy but she must have said something because then his Dad said,

“Never mind, I’ll find out eventually. Not that it matters. A short time without them and we should be able to get back on schedule.” and then there was the sound of a door slamming.

It was a very strange dream and Knox had told Mommy about it in the morning. She had smiled and said it was probably because he had had peanut butter before bed and that peanut butter sometimes made people have strange dreams. Knox had decided not to eat peanut butter before bed again, he didn’t like having strange dreams.

The next day, after dinner Knox wanted Mommy to help him with his trains because he’d lost the green one and Mommy was the best at finding things when he lost them.

He asked Stannish, who was their butler and organised all the maids and the other people who worked in their house, where his Mommy was. Stannish said Mommy and Dad were talking in Dad’s study.

Knox wanted to get some milk because his tummy was grumbling but he walked to Dad’s study first because he couldn’t have the train race without his green one and he really wanted to have a train race.

The door was shut and Knox knew that meant his Dad was working and he wasn’t allowed in. Dad shut the door when he was doing important things. Knox knew Dad would leave the door open when he wasn't doing important things and that meant the Knox could go in and talk to him. Sometimes they played games on Dad's computer.

Knox’s tummy grumbled again so he decided to go get some milk and come back and talk to Mommy, once she had finished speaking to Dad.

When he did come back, it was a bit later. He’d gotten milk and a cookie from Mrs Darnby and then had them both in the kitchen, so he didn't get crumbs on the floor and so he could watch Mrs Darnby make pastry for the next day. Knox liked to watch Mrs Darnby make pastry. When he came back to the study, the door was open but his Dad was gone.

Mommy was still in the study. She was lying on Dad’s desk, her face pressed into the papers. The papers were all messy and her hair was all messy too.

“Mommy?” he asked, suddenly scared to come into the room. Was Mommy sick? Was that why she was lying on the desk instead of sitting in the chair? He didn’t want his Mommy to be sick.

Mommy kinda of jumped when she saw him, and then she blinked and rubbed her eyes. She yawned really big too and Knox giggled as she pulled a funny face.

“I was just so tired, I fell asleep here” she said, pulling another funny face and winking.

Knox giggled, liking when Mommy played silly faces with him.

“Dad might get cross that you messed up all his papers”. He didn’t want Mommy to get in trouble.

“Oh I don’t think he will. Besides, he’s not the boss of me.”

He giggled, because he remembered that Dad never got mad at Mommy.

“Yes he is Mommy. Dad is the boss of both of us”

Her face went a bit funny again, but it was different and it looked like she had hurt herself but then she smiled again, hugging him closer so he knew it was just more silly faces.

“I guess he is.” she said and then they went to play with Knox’s trains before bed.

Knox was glad they were all going to London together. Last time his Mommy had wanted to go on holiday, they were going to leave his Dad and take a driving holiday, just the two of them. But then Dad had come home early with Young and some of the other men who drove in his car and made sure no-one came into their house at night. Knox didn’t like them much, because they were serious all the time and they never wanted to play games with him.

His Dad had hugged him and then put him down, holding onto his shoulders. Knox tried to stand straighter so Dad’s arms wouldn’t get tired from leaning down so far.

“And what were you two up to?”

He twisted around to look up at his Dad. Mommy had said Dad was too busy at work to come but since he was home now Knox hoped he would be able to come with them.

“Mommy and I are going to go on a driving holiday.”

“Is that right?” his Dad had said and he’d smiled at his Mommy. Mommy hadn’t looked very well and Knox was worried she might feel sick and they might not be able to go on their holiday.

His Dad had reminded his Mommy that Knox couldn’t go with her, because he had his school recital on Thursday. He said she must have forgotten but that it was okay, Knox would just stay with him and Mommy could still go on holiday.

His Mommy had stared at his Dad for a really long time, so Knox could tell that she had forgotten about the recital. She smiled and shook her head saying she was very silly to have forgotten and they’d just have to go another time.

Knox was disappointed but knew he did have to perform in the recital and he couldn’t let the rest of the class down. His Mommy had hugged him and said they would go out for icecream and then he could practise his piece for her. His Dad had said that was a good idea and he told one of the serious men to go get the car ready. Knox had gone upstairs to get his Mommy a sweater. She was shaking so he knew she was cold and needed something warm because it would be even colder outside. Although Knox wasn’t cold, he knew that girls were more delicate and needed extra taking care of.

She had smiled and hugged him when he gave her the pretty blue one, saying she was so lucky he took such good care of her and he was very clever for knowing she was cold.

When they came home that night he’d been very sleepy, his Dad had had to carry him upstairs. He remembered because Dad had put him to bed but hadn’t found the right pajamas. Knox liked the blue ones with the space ships but Dad had put on the purple ones with the stripes. He got up to change them but couldn’t find his blue ones. He’d gone down the hall to his parents room to ask his Mommy where his favourite pajamas were.

He had slipped through the door, looking around the dim room for his Mommy. He heard a strange sound from the bathroom and knew that Mommy must be in there.

The door was a little bit open and he pushed it more so he could see where Mommy was.

He couldn’t really see his Mommy because his Dad was standing in front of where she was. They were both looking into the mirror and they both had their hands pressed up against it. His Dad was kissing his Mommy on her neck. Knox knew they must have been playing a game, probably tag, because his Dad was breathing really loud, like he had been running. He must have just caught Mommy.

“Did you catch Mommy?” he asked and his Dad turned around, smiling at him.

“Knoxy?” his Mommy said and her voice sounded really shaky, like she had been laughing. Dad must have tickled her when he caught her like she did to him when they played Hide n Seek.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay sweetie?”

“I’m okay Mommy” he said, knowing she would get worried if he didn’t tell her right away.

“Were you and Dad playing tag? Did he catch you?”

“That’s right. Your Mommy ran away and I had to catch her” his Dad said, coming over to him and picking him up for a hug.

“Mommy can run really fast” he said, smiling up at his Dad, proud that Dad was fast enough to catch Mommy. Knox could only catch her when she let him. When he was big he’d be able to catch her easily, Mommy had promised him.

His Dad had smiled, and he grabbed Mommy’s hand, holding it very tight.

“That she can. But I always catch her in the end. And I’ll never let her get away”

Knox laughed, thinking it would be funny to see Dad chasing his Mommy.

“Mommy doesn’t really want to get away Daddy” he said “She loves us and wants to stay with us forever.”

And then Dad had smiled again and he went to help Knox find his blue pajamas so Mommy could get some rest.

He found out his Mommy had hurt herself the next day, she said she’d stopped the car too quickly and the seatbelt had been too tight. Knox carefully traced the purple marks on her arms before she covered them with her blouse.

She had pink bruises on her neck and shoulders and on her chest near where the necklace his Dad gave her always sat. She said they weren’t bruises but just a rash from the new red top she had worn yesterday. Knox had liked that top, he thought it made her look very pretty but if it made her get pink spots he said she shouldn’t wear it anymore. His Mom had smiled and agreed, saying he was very clever and took such good care of her.

She hugged him and pulled him onto her lap as she finished putting on her make up. He played with her pendant, trying to read the words written on the back.

The front was their family crest. Knox didn’t really know what a crest was but he knew only brave and important people had them.

He reached up now and pulled at the necklace, wanting to try and read the words again. Mommy smiled at him, leaning over so he could see the necklace better.

Knox noticed his Dad’s special ring as his hand rested on top of Mommy’s knee. The bright green stone sparkled and Knox liked it because it reminded him of his Mommy’s eyes. His Dad had said he could have one just like it when he was older. Knox couldn’t wait. The stone at the centre of his Mommy’s necklace was the same. Knox had some on his window at home. His Dad had said it was a magic stone, that fell from the sky and brought them good luck. When his little brother came out of Mommy’s tummy, Knox wanted to give him some magic stone too, so they could all have good luck.

He knew that now he was going to be a big brother, he had to take even better care of his Mommy. Dad had gotten lots of special cameras and alarms at their home and Knox had a special button he was supposed to press if he saw any bad men or if he got scared. Dad had gotten it for him when he started going to school but Knox had never used it. He was never scared because Dad took good care of him and Mommy.

He watched out the window, smiling as he recognised his Dad’s building, tall and bright and bigger than all the others. It even had their name on the outside, in shiny silver letters that were so big he could see them from his window at home. He huffed on the glass like he and Mommy did in winter to make frost drawings. Carefully he wrote his name with his finger, making the letters smaller so they could all fit in. His real name was longer but Mommy said that Lennox was so long that if she said it all the time her tongue would get tired.

He looked back over at his parents, smiling again as he saw his Mom watching him. She smiled back and so did his Dad.

It was going to be the best holiday ever.

Dark and creepy, indeed. Poor Chloe, but absolutely amazing writing.

Interesting start cant wait to read more

Wow Zadie,

To see captive Chloe through the eyes of her son is such a bewitching idea. The innocence masking the pain prevents it from burrowing too deep into darkness, for now.

The "driving holiday" definitely pulled on the heart strings.

I'm guessing the man that stared at them in the park was Clark who was kept away with kryptonite.

This is great as a stand alone, but I can't wait to see it updated.

Thanks for sharing your story.

really love it^^ hope you update soon!! thank you

wow, brilliantly creepy. poor Chloe, that is one very evil Lex! at least knox is happy and not disturbed but his parents relationship. More please!!! Thank you!!

Really liked it! It's a take on Chloe/Lex that I haven't seen before. Hope you update!

Oh WOW! This was an amazing story! It was incredibly dark, creepy and tragic… and I loved it! I loved the way that it was told from the point of view of such a happy, innocent child. A child who apparently has either a very low EQ, OR is in a serious state of denial, but essentially still a happy, innocent little boy.

I loved how it began describing such a happy family. I guessed straight away that it was Lex and Chloe that we were observing through the child’s eyes… and the intensity of awed worship that the child held for his parents (his beautiful, angelic mother… and his strong, important, loving, protective father) made me smile.

And then, we started seeing the cracks in all the kid’s observations. And, dear heavens, it was horrible! At the very beginning, I found it a [I]little[I] disquieting sensing the fervor of Lex’s ‘request’ to Knox to ‘watch over Chloe’. It was phrased in a way to make Knox believe that he was in charge of protecting his mother… but it sounded more and more like Knox was somehow being set to SPY on his own mother for Lex. Scary!

And there was also the way that Knox observed how Chloe practically never bestowed affectionate looks or gestures towards Lex, whereas Lex was constantly hovering over Chloe, with his arm around her… whenever he did find time off work to be with his family. That also sounded a little ‘off’. But I did admire the spin that Lex gave to that lack of affection, making Knox believe that Mommy was only not very demonstrative in her affections, when in fact she DID actually love daddy very much. Impressive work, Lex! Brainwashing your son to ignore all the obvious signs of the barely veiled hatred that his mother holds for his father… very impressive… and so creepy!

It was only when it was discovered that Chloe actually is being forced to conceive Lex’s heirs that you truly understand and appreciate the true horror of the life that Chloe is living in. She’s not only isolated and trapped in a marriage with a man that she doesn’t love… but she’s even had the privacy, sanctity and CHOICE of her own body taken away from her. I can’t imagine that Chloe willingly goes to bed with Lex, knowing that he’s attempting to impregnate her with a child that she doesn’t want. The fact that she gets pregnant anyway is just… horrific!

It was then that I realized that Lex had not only trapped Chloe in a marriage with a man that she didn’t love… but she was trapped in a marriage with a man who regularly raped her, as well as physically and emotionally abused her. Not only that… but she even had a son who appeared to worship the very ground that this man walked on, and would be devastated in being separated from him. It’s all extremely tragic and horrible!!!

The WORST thing was knowing that Knox was being used, so skillfully and ruthlessly, as a weapon against Chloe by Lex. Lex had no compunctions in using Knox to spy constantly on Chloe, as well as use Knox as a means with which to threaten Chloe to staying in the marriage… despite all the abuse that she was suffering. Lex made it clear that he was more than willing to keep Knox with him, and undoubtedly make the poor boy suffer from neglect, isolation and emotional abuse (if not outright physical abuse) if Chloe ever dared to leave the two of them.

This story works as a standalone fic… but it would be really wonderful to see it continued. Any chance of a sequel?!

I loved it but I also love the dark creepy stories : ). Like the person above me said it really does work well as a stand alone but a sequel would be awesome too.

i absolutely loved this. A dark story told through an innocent child's eyes. brilliant.

I loved this story! its very sad, and the way it was told through their poor son! i could see lex like this. Have you thought about a follow up piece?

oh. Nice! I'm kinda puzzled. Whew. But I love it! Please continue with it! :)

Please, continue

I love dark Clex, so this fic definitely left an impression. I found myself feeling both sad and scared for Chloe. And I was oddly terrified that Knox would see something and figure out the truth. I mean, he's just a little boy who couldn't really do anything to stop it. So I want him to stay in his denial bubble.

I have a feeling this story is gonna linger.

I was so close to crying. This was so sad! I would love to see this continued. Something in my mind tells me Knox will turn out like Lex and Chloe like Lexs mother...?