Imaginary (R) (Completed) - Part 5, 'Always With You' series
Title: Imaginary
Author: Not An Addict
Rating: R (because I just can’t help myself)
Category: Songfic, Angst
Pairing: Chloe/Lex
Spoilers: none
Summary: Part Five of the ‘Always With You’ songfic series. The truth lies sleeping.
Disclaimer: Ok, I don’t own anything . . . yet. But with my can of hairspray, a pencil, a stick of chewing gum and my McGyver handbook, I’m well on my way.
Author’s Note: So this probably isn’t going to come as a surprise to anyone who knows the kinds of things I write. But, on the off-chance that there’s someone out there who didn’t see this coming a mile away, I’ll just shut up now so I don’t give it away. However, I’m going to say this one more time: if you haven’t been in this exact situation before, you don’t know what it’s like, now do you? And remember, this is fiction. That means that I get to take artistic license and do whatever the hell I want. ^_^
I linger in the doorway
Of alarm clock screaming monsters calling my name
There was a tower in her world, a gleaming heap of twisted metal bars that led to the sky. There was a staircase on the tower, also made of metal, and the smooth surface of the steps shone in the light of the setting sun; the sun was always setting in her world. Sometimes she climbed to the top of the tower and stood on the wide metal platform that graced its pinnacle. There she could look out over the landscape, see the wonder of it all, marvel in the colors and the shapes.
But that wasn’t why she climbed the tower.
Her world was blissfully quiet when she wanted it to be; when the quiet didn’t reign, the air was filled with soft sounds. Comforting sounds. Sounds that she controlled. Because that was what her world was all about—she had control. Except . . . except.
The top of the tower was the one place that she didn’t have control. There, the world beyond hers leaked in, assaulted her senses, and there was no way to stop it. She didn’t like it at the top of the tower; didn’t like the harsh beeping, or the sharp smells. The scratchy feel of cheap fabric beneath her body was unpleasant, as was the taste of the plastic she could feel inside her throat. The blackness she didn’t fear. She could banish the blackness. But she didn’t want to, not when the world beyond her own didn’t have what she was looking for. And so she did the only thing she could to rid herself of the world she sensed—she climbed down from the tower, and went back to her own world.
She had climbed up once again, and once again she had been driven back down. Halfway down the stairs she paused, squinted at the bottom of the staircase. Someone was there. Curious, she continued to descend until she stood, shocked, face to face with her unexpected visitor.
Hazel eyes locked on to their twins; her visitor brushed aside a strand of golden hair in a gesture that was intimately familiar. The last few steps were descended until the two stood face to face.
Chloe tilted her head, quirked an eyebrow. The smirk that came over her face was mirrored on her double standing arrogantly in front of her.
“Well. This is new.”
She brushed past her smirking double, leaving her to follow after.
“You have to leave this place.” The words stopped Chloe and she turned to fix herself with a quizzical look. “It’s time for you to leave. You can’t stay here forever.” Chloe regarded herself for a moment before she shrugged her shoulders and turned again to walk away.
“I know.”
Let me stay
Where the wind will whisper to me
Where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story
“You don’t get it.” The other her had caught up and moved to stand in front of her, halting her progress. The look on her face was one of firm determination, unhindered by the breeze that came up to toy with their hair. “You have to leave now. It’s time for you to go home.” Chloe shook her head, an automatic denial.
“I don’t want to leave.” Her double let out a frustrated sigh, and Chloe answered with a grin. “I like it here. I like the wind here.” As if at her command—and indeed, it was—the wind picked up, swirling around them in a playful dance. Its touch lifted blonde tresses to whisper in their ears, carrying on it the memory of his voice.
Chloe smiled broadly at the sound and stepped around the other her, continuing to walk. When her double followed, clearly intending to continue talking, Chloe waved a hand, and the other disappeared. With a satisfied smile Chloe looked up to the rolling clouds above her. A crack of thunder, and then small, gentle raindrops began to fall. She closed her eyes and let them tap against her eyelids; the scene began to take shape and she laid down, a giddy smile on her face. This was one of her favorite stories.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I didn’t expect to see you here tonight.”
Chloe turns her head at the sound of his voice, grinning when he comes up behind her and wraps her in his arms. She leans back against his chest, her eyes closing in pleasure when she finds herself enveloped by his warm scent. Thunder rolls outside the open French doors and Lex’s arms tighten around her.
“I’m home to visit, and it’s the first storm of the season. Did you really think I wouldn’t show up for our anniversary?”
Lex’s laugh rumbles through his chest and into her back, sending delicious tremors of arousal through her entire body.
“In that case, why didn’t you come find me in the study?” he teases. Chloe smirks and tilts her head back to look at him.
“Well if you had been a good boy and stayed put, I would’ve made it there eventually.”
His voice in her ear has her shivering, and Lex takes advantage of her reaction to pull her closer.
“Next time let me in on your game, and I’ll be more than happy to play along.” Elegant fingers toy with the ties of the raincoat she wears as his teeth nibble at her ear. “Why don’t you take off your coat and stay awhile?”
“All right.”
With one easy step she’s out of his arms, turned to face him with a sly smile gracing her face. She continues to move back as she slowly unties her coat, her eyes locked on his the entire time. When she finally steps out of arm's reach, Chloe lets the coat drop, warmth pooling in the pit of her stomach at the way Lex's eyes sweep over her. Slowly, seductively, she turns in a circle for him; she hears him suck in a breath at the sight of her thong, visible beneath the sheer material of the black babydoll teddy she wears. Small hands drift innocently over the lace that covers her breasts, and her bare feet curl into the plush carpet when Lex's eyes darken even as she watches.
"Do you like it?"
The innocent tone of her voice ends on a squeal when Lex takes a single swift step and yanks her into him. He takes her under with his kiss, the heat and passion in it making her head spin. Strong arms lock around her waist and she finds herself lifted up, clinging to his shoulders as he carries her across the room. The bed is soft beneath her when he lays her down, and the mattress dips under their combined weight.
Lex's mouth leaves hers, trailing across her jaw to nip and suck at her earlobe and drawing a series of appreciative shudders from her. Frustrated, Chloe lets loose a growl when the buttons of Lex's shirt refuse to give way under her trembling fingers. Rather than help her, however, Lex merely smirks against her skin and scrapes his teeth over the soft skin at her neck, his hands lifting to fill themselves with her breasts. Chloe gives a muted cry and arches into his touch; her limbs give an involuntary jerk at the unexpected surge of pleasure, and without quite meaning to her hands rip open Lex's shirt, several buttons scattering over the bed and floor. Never one to waste an opportunity, Chloe quickly removes the remains of his shirt and lets her hands feast on his now-bare chest and back. Lex just chuckles as he rains kisses back up to her ear, his hands still working their magic on her breasts.
"Have I ever told you how much I love how your body responds to me?" His voice in her ear has her quivering; he presses a hot kiss beneath her ear and moves one hand to her thigh, caressing her smooth skin in strokes that take his hand higher and higher. "Like that little tremble there. It's like you were made just for me. This hot little body," his hand reaches her hip and squeezes gently before moving to dance over her stomach, "built to do mind-numbing things, and it's my touch that can make you do this." His hand pinches one nipple through the lace and a whimpering moan tears from Chloe's throat as her nails dig into his shoulders, leaving little red half-circles in their wake.
Both of his hands move to her hips then to slip under the sheer material of her teddy, letting the feel of it against his hands drive him crazy for a moment before he hooks his fingers in her panties and gives a gentle tug. Chloe's hips lift immediately to let him remove the scrap of fabric, and her breathing is heavy when he eases back up her body, his lips breathing kisses over her collarbone. She moves her hands over his back, touching every inch of him that she can reach. His lips are moving down and soon reach her breasts, sucking lightly through the lace that covers them. Chloe gives a shuddering moan at the suction of Lex's mouth on her nipple and her hands fly down to his waist, working at his belt and zipper with one hand while the other cups his erection, rubbing and squeezing in the way she knows will drive him crazy. Lex throws his head back at the feeling, and Chloe lifts one hand to pull his head down to hers. Her lips find his ear, nibbling on the tender flesh between her words.
“That’s enough foreplay for now.”
Both pairs of hands are pushing at his clothing now, shoving his pants and boxers down at once until they reach his ankles and Lex kicks them off along with his socks and shoes. Then he’s suddenly, gloriously bare on top of her, his hips slipping down between Chloe’s parted legs. Before he realizes what’s happening he finds himself on his back, staring up at Chloe as she sits straddling him, still wearing that erotic wisp of a teddy. Her chest is heaving and her eyes burn into his; she rocks against him and has him sliding teasingly against her folds while her nails knead into his chest like the claws of a contented cat.
“I want you to watch me as I fuck you, Lex.” She rocks harder against him, grinding herself into his pelvic bone. “I want your eyes on me while we see what my touch can do to you.”
Her hips lift and sink down again, and he is buried in her in that one smooth motion. Lex’s hands skim over her back, and the heat of them through the sheer material has Chloe moaning. She begins to move over him, lifting up and sliding back down slowly, so slowly, her eyes half-lidded but still locked on his. Her right hand raises and strokes over his cheek in a loving touch before it settles back on his chest. Chloe loves the strength she can feel there, loves the muscles that are firm and solid beneath her touch. She uses her hands to brace herself and begins to ride him faster; his hands move to the curve where her waist meets her hips and hold, kneading occasionally as he encourages her movements.
Soon Chloe is completely focused on the friction of their lower bodies, and the sound of their panting breaths mingled with the sounds from outside, with the patter of the rain on stone and the deep, comforting rumble of thunder. Cool air carries the scent of rain into the room to swirl around them and mix with the musky smell of sex, the combination complimenting the stormy blue of Lex’s eyes as he watches her rise and fall above him. Chloe throws her head back, moving faster still as the scents and sounds, sights and feelings close in on her, stealing her mind away until she can’t even dream of thinking, caught up in the moment and never wanting it to end. Her body begins to quake, and suddenly one of Lex’s hands is between her legs, his thumb pressing and rubbing at her hidden bundle of nerves. She shatters around him, sobbing out his name again and again as tremors overtake her body. With her own name escaping his lips on a moan, Lex loses himself in her, and the feel of his warmth flooding through her sends a new wave of tremors through Chloe’s body. Limbs still trembling she sinks down on top of him, her body sliding easily into the waiting nest between his arm and chest. Lex holds her close, his arms gentle as he brushes a kiss over her hair.
“God I love you.” The whispered words have Chloe tightening her arm across his chest and snuggling closer.
“I’m never going to get tired of hearing you say that.” Lex lets out a chuckle that has Chloe lifting her head to grin at him.
“Well I’m glad, because I don’t plan on stopping anytime soon. It’s probably best that it doesn’t annoy you.”
“Smartass.” But Chloe says it with a grin and leans up to brush her lips gently over his. She pulls back and lets her eyes drink in his features, seeing the satisfaction and relaxation from their recent activities mingled with the love he no longer tries to hide from her. “You know, I love you far too much for my own good.” She sees the change in his eyes a split second before he speaks.
“Then move in with me.” She blinks once, twice, her momentary shock stealing her speech and giving Lex the opportunity to run a hand over her hair, holding her head in place to meet his earnest gaze. “I don’t want to spend another night with you only to have to leave in the morning; I don’t want to have to drop you off at your place because you have work the next day. I want to wake up each morning and know that you’ll be there.” His hand smoothes over her hair again. “I want you to know that I’m going to be there when you wake up.” Her left hand moves to rest on his chest, her fingers curling over his collarbone when his hand lifts to cover hers.
“Are you sure about this, Lex? This is a really big step.” He smirks down at her, his fingers toying with the ring she wears on her finger.
“I think as far as steps go, we’ve already covered the biggest one. So what do you think?” A slow smile creeps over Chloe’s face.
“I think I’m going to have to listen to Liz bitch about having to find a new roommate.” She meets the smile on Lex’s lips with the touch of her own, their kiss warm and fleeting before she pulls away. “Now I’m going to get some rest—you tired me out.” Her head returns to his chest, burrowing down against him. When he doesn’t relax immediately, she brushes a kiss over his heart and nestles closer. “Get some sleep, Lex. We’ll both still be here in the morning.”
His body relaxes beneath hers then, and within minutes Chloe drifts off to sleep with Lex’s heartbeat as her lullaby.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me
The landscape of her world was strange, to say the least. She knew this. But it suited her, this strangeness. Subtly rolling hills stretched as far as the eye could see, and the grass that covered them waved gently so that they looked like waves at sea. When the wind picked up a rustling filled the air, emanating from the peculiar flowers that mixed with the grass. She liked to watch them dance in the wind, liked to hear their quiet rustle. It soothed her.
Deep-gold sunlight scattered over the land, giving everything it touched a rich, polished glow. She never thought to question how the light was possible when the clouds above her always covered the sky. Such details were not important. Occasionally she drifted into sleep—or at least, something that resembled sleep. When that happened she drew the clouds down around her like a blanket, curling up among the grass and crackling paper. The clouds smelled of him, and sometimes they sang to her, wordless melodies in his voice, gentle hums and deep breaths, the music of her sleeping lover.
Just now she sat cross-legged on the ground, enjoying the warmth of the body seated behind her, cradling her. She gazed at the paper in her hands, a fond smile gracing her face. The pictures on it moved, like a miniature recording on the scrap of paper. She and Lex were sitting in the Talon, and as she watched, Lex’s hand moved to cover hers where it sat on the table. There was no sound; she knew that if she wanted to hear what was being said she could easily slip into the scene, but she didn’t need to. This was one memory that had remained untouched over the years, as crystal-clear as it had been when it happened. She realized now that that moment was when she had started to fall in love with Lex, when he had taken time to comfort her in the absence of her other friends. The smile on her face grew and she nodded to herself. This one would definitely be added to the collection.
Slowly, carefully, she began to fold the paper. A crease here, flip it over, two more folds. In her mind’s eye she saw Liz, sitting patiently at their secondhand kitchen table and showing her the simple origami trick. Within moments her work was complete, and she held a blooming paper flower in her hand. She tossed it up in the air and a gust of wind caught it, carried it a ways before letting it drift down to rest among the others.
Next was an article for the Smallville Ledger written during her freshman year of college. She smiled as her fingers skimmed over the byline—Sullivan and Kent. It had taken time to get her shaky friendship with Clark back on its feet, but once they had the two had made a formidable team. Their combined skills had been more than enough to uncover the numerous indiscretions of one Lionel Luthor; and neither had hesitated, after all the man had done to them, to put their story into print. Both had had a moment or two of unease, however, anticipating Lex’s reaction to their exposure of his father. She grinned, remembering Lex’s face when he told them that the article had driven the elder Luthor from Smallville permanently. The steak dinner he had treated them to afterwards had been especially delicious.
Another quick series of folds, and the resulting flower joined the others in the field around her.
She stayed there for a stretch of time, whether hours or days she didn’t know. Time didn’t matter so much there, in any case. Eventually she leaned back against the firm chest behind her, let her head rest against a comforting shoulder. Contented eyes gazed at the clouds rolling across the sky, and she smiled at the occasional rumbles of thunder in the distance. The sun warmed her, soaking through her skin to the muscle and bone beneath, and the knowledge that, logically, none of it should be possible did not hinder her enjoyment. No, that didn’t happen until the shadow fell over her and she looked up into irritated hazel eyes. Her gaze held there for a moment before returning to the purple sky above them.
“Purple was his favorite color, you know.” A whisper of a grin curled up her lips at the corners. “Not that you’d ever hear him admit it. This sky reminds me of him. Gorgeous and dangerous, rolling around with so much rage and power. But I can control it; I can calm it.” Her eyes returned to the other, saw the same impatient expression that was there before. She rolled her own pair and stood, heaving out an annoyed sigh. “Should have known you wouldn’t stay gone long. What do you want?”
“It’s not what I want, it’s what you need.” Jaw set in a fashion that any of her friends could tell her meant she wasn’t backing down, the other fixed Chloe with a look of solid determination. “You need to go back.”
“Why?” Chloe was angry now, but more than that she was afraid. And in her fear she latched on to her anger, fanned the fire of it in the hopes that it would burn out the terror. “Why the hell should I go back? I like it here.”
“There are people there who need you.” Chloe shook her head. She was angry, but her resolve was cold and sure.
“They don’t. People die all the time, and their friends and family deal with it, they move on. Mine will too.”
Don't say I’m out of touch
With this rampant chaos - your reality
I know well what lies beyond my sleeping refuge
The nightmare I built my own world to escape
The other stood shocked for a moment, then looked at her in disgust.
“Is that what you think this is? You think you’re dead, and what, in heaven? You don’t even know what reality is anymore!” The other paced away, then back, frustration clear on her face. “You have to go back.”
“Don’t you dare tell me that I don’t know what reality is!” Anger was snapping in Chloe’s eyes now, sharp and hot. “You think I think this is heaven? How the FUCK could this be heaven??” Her chest was heaving, her lungs straining to drag in air that she knew wasn’t real. The other’s look of unimpressed passivity only spurred her on, adding fuel to the fire of her rant. “I know damn well that none of this is real. I know that everything here, everything I see, everything I do, it’s just in my head. And I know what’s out there. What’s out there is the reason I’m in here. Because the world out there is hard, and it’s cold, and it’s painful. That’s why I’m here, why I built this little world for myself. I built it to feel safe, to get by when the real world fell apart, and no tightass bitch of a superego is going to get me to leave!!”
Her angry energy spent, Chloe’s legs felt suddenly weaker. She plopped down in the grass again, bone-weary and sick of fighting. For a time she just sat there— minutes, hours, she couldn’t say. But the other stayed standing above her, never moving, until finally Chloe couldn’t take it any more. She stood and started walking with the other dogging her heels.
“He could be waiting for you, you know.”
In my field of paper flowers
And candy clouds of lullaby
I lie inside myself for hours
And watch my purple sky fly over me
The words stopped Chloe short; she glanced at the copy of herself, took in the gold of her hair, so familiar against the roiling purple clouds in the sky. Chloe turned to face forwards again and continued to walk. The flowers rustled around them as they moved, brushing up against their legs with every step they took. It wasn’t long before Chloe lifted her hand, pointed at the twisted metal of the tower.
“That’s why I have that.”
Their swift pace continued to the foot of the tower, then up it until they reached a spot halfway to the top. There Chloe stopped, turned, and she and the other stood shoulder to shoulder, looking out across the rolling hills as the purple clouds roiled above them and the rumble of thunder sounded low in the distance. The wind picked up suddenly, whistling through the folds of paper and making the flowers dance almost violently. Thunder grew closer, and though Chloe appeared outwardly calm, the storm inside of her was showing in the land she overlooked. She glanced back up over her shoulder to the flat steel platform at the top of the tower.
“That’s where the illusion is weakest. It’s barely there at all, really, and if I stayed there long enough I’m pretty sure I couldn’t keep myself from waking up. I go up there, every now and then, to check. To see if he’s . . . ” Her arms wrapped around her stomach and she huddled into herself. “But he isn’t. He never is.”
Swallowed up in the sound of my screaming
Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights
Oh how I long for the deep sleep dreaming
The goddess of imaginary light
“I used to go up there more often. I was so afraid that he’d be there and I’d miss it.” She glanced at her double, and to her horror Chloe felt tears begin to well up in her eyes. “He could be dead. I don’t know if the police got there in time to save him, or if . . . There’s no way I can know. And if I wake up, there’s no going back. If I wake up and he isn’t there, that’s it. I’ll just have to deal.”
The wind blew even harder, and there were new sounds carried on it. Sounds that Chloe didn’t want to think about, much less hear again. Her lungs suddenly struggled to draw in air; her body shook with effort, but she managed to calm the tempest. Her eyes met those of the other, and for the first time there was a spark of understanding there.
“I don’t want to remember,” Chloe whispered. The tears were falling freely now, and she made no effort to check them. “The screaming in my head was so loud before I came here. Now it’s stopped, and I’m afraid that if I go back I won’t even have that. I don’t know what they did to him. He could be dead. And then everything would just be quiet. There wouldn’t be any Lex, and I’d be alone again.” She shook her head and turned to descend the tower, pausing when she reached her double. “I’m going to stay here. I’ll keep checking every now and then, but . . . I’m not going back without him.”
The other watched as Chloe reached the bottom of the tower and started across the fields towards the only other figure there. He wrapped her in his arms and she curled against him, then pushed him away. With a wave of her hand he was gone and Chloe started to walk again, the wind dying down as she moved. Up on the tower the other shook her head and glanced behind her. The platform shone in the sun and she let out a sigh.
“Lex. Please get here soon.”
END PART FIVE
