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Charmingjen
22nd October 2003, 06:46
A/N: Ok so I have this song playing over and over in my cd player. It came across as a total Chloe POV and I just had to write a little something. So...out came my little short story. I hope you all enjoy it! Oh and if you have strong feelings toward issues of suicide don't read this. Oh and please don't throw stuff at me!

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Title: Fallen
Author: Jen
Rating: PG-13 for language and actions of suicide
Feedback: yes please I live for shit like that! LOL
Disclamer: I own nothing except the idea of the story. The characters are that of miller and gough and the lyrics are Sarah Mclaughin's. I in no way take credit for them.
Summary: After making a deal with Lionel, Chloe has second thoughts and wants to get out of it. Her friends find out and stop associating themselves with her. It seems as her world is falling apart and there is nothing she can do about it.



Heaven Bend to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight
Truth be told I tried my best
But somewhere long the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
But the cost was so much more than I could bear



Chloe sat at her desk contemplating her choices that she had made recently associating herself with Lionel Luthor. She thought that making Clark pay for what he had done would be easy. She had no clue how everything would play out. Lionel seemed like he wanted to help her but in fact he was only helping himself. She was blind by her own agenda that she didn't even notice the cards that were being delt.

'How could I be so fucking stupid. I should have known. I should have been more careful. Now my friends hate me, my dad won't even look at me. I've lost everything.'


Though I've tried I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here and
Tell me I told you so


Chloe didn't even step into the Talon anymore, she made her way over to the beanery where nobody she knew would be. Most of the town stopped coming in here when the Talon opened so she knew she would have her own haven here where nobody would give her dirty looks or whisper behind her back when they thought she wasn't listening. She heard the bell above the door jingle and looked towards the entrance.

A man in a long black coat, dress slacks, and purlple silk shirt appeared. 'Lex Luthor. That's all I need right now.'

Lex made his way over to her. "Well if it isn't my father's little deviant reporter. I never thought I'd see you here."

Chloe made that half smile face where you didn't know if she was smiling or frowning. "Well seeing as currently I'm the towns pariah and nobody will come within 20 feet of me, this seems like the only place to be."

"Well, now that's not true, I'm standing at least 5 feet from you."

"Thanks, how'd I get to be so lucky."

"Listen Chloe, you should be thankful somebody is even talking to you. After what you did, I'm not surprised by the reaction that your getting."

She looked up at him, "Not to be rude and I appreciate the gesture of you coming over here and all, but I don't need you telling me what I did was wrong. I know that."

"I know you know Chloe, I'm just trying to be a friend. I know we haven't really gotten to know each other but I know what your going through."

She chuckled softly, "I highly doubt it Lex."

He sat down in the booth next to her. "Chloe when I arrived here in Smallville everyone wanted to see me fail, including my father. Nobody respected me, I had to earn it, and I still am. It's not easy being the outcast. There are times where you want to give up and times where you don't want to be alone, but when it comes down to it, all you have is yourself. You have to make that promise to yourself that you won't lose who you are inside."

She sat back, shocked at his words. She never saw him in this light before. He was so sincere and he was the one befriending her while everyone else turned their back. It was nice to hear somebody still had faith in her who wanted to see her come back from everything that had happened.

"Lex, I'm sorry I didn't mean to snap. Thank you."

Without knowing it she layed her hand on his theigh. He looked down and layed his hand upon hers.

"Your welcome Chloe. If you ever want to talk, just stop by the house. I'll be there."


We all begin out with good intent
When love is raw and young
We believe that we can change ourselves
The past can be undone
But we carry on our back the burdens time always reveals
In the lonely light of morning
In the wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
I've held so dear



She thought back on the day Lionel had approached her. She was mourning over her broken heart and the fact that her two best friends had lied to her face. All the pain she was feeling went away and Lionel seemed to care about her. More or less in a father/daughter type of way. Being as her father wasn't nearly around as much anymore, she looked to Lionel for guidence. His insight in everything was so fascinating. Soon after things started to fall apart. He was slowly manipulating her. Transforming her into this person that she didn't want to become and in the process was losing all that she held close to her heart. She was so angry with herself for beleving all the things she was told. For giving into the monster himself. Now the only one who would talk to her was the devils son. Lex truly was an amazing man but she needed more than that to survive in this world.


I've nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to these I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turn their heads embarrassed
Pretend that they don't see
That it's one wrong step one slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem away to be revealed


She pulled up to her house, Lana and Clark were sitting outside on the porch. Chloe glanced over at them with a small smile. Before she could even get a word out they stood up and walked past her making small comments. Her friends didn't seem to care anymore and it broke her into pieces. She didn't even make it inside. She turned back and ran to her car. Speeding towards the place she didn't really want to go.

She pulled up to the Luthor mansion next to one of Lexs' many cars. Knocking on the door one of the servants led her in and towards the study. There he was sitting at his desk.

"Well this is a surprise. It didn't take you too long to make it over here did it?"

He looked at her carefully and noticed she had been crying and still as. Lex made his way across the room and embraced her into his arms. He didn't know what else he could do for her. He knew that her world was crashing down on her and his father was the one doing it.

Between her sobs she managed to say a few words, "Lex...I don't know what else to do. My friends, they hate me. They won't even let me talk to them. My dad, he can't even look at me and when he does it's a complete look of disgust. I can't take it anymore. There's nothing left here for me."

"Shhh" he stepped back cupping her face with his hands. "Chloe I promise you things will be ok. I'll help you and I won't let anything else happen. We'll fix this. Hey if we have to I'll take you to Metropolis. I have a very nice apartment there."

"You would do that for me?"

"Chloe, I would. I would do that for you. So what do you say. I'll pick you up in the morning?"

She smiled at him and nodded her head. He leaned down and gave her a soft gentle kiss. It was something that felt so right to her and she felt safe.

"Lex, for what it's worth. Thank you for everything. I hope that people will learn to see you for the man you truly are."


Though I've tried I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here and
Tell me I told you so


It was around midnight and Lex was going to pick her up in 8 hours. He was all she had left and what would happen if he left her. She would be alone. No friends, no family, just her. The pain was unberable and she remembered what Lex had told her. 'There are times where you want to give up and times where you don't want to be alone, but when it comes down to it, all you have is yourself'

She didn't want to end up alone. Everything she had wanted to become was now gone. Her life was not worth it anymore. She had shed to many tears the last few weeks that she didn't want to do it anymore. She sat there on the bathroom floor. Knowing that what she was about to do was wrong. She didn't care though. She was sick of the life she was living now. She had left two notes on her bed. One to Lex and one to her dad.

Chloe picked up the knife and touched it to her skin. Slowly she cut, from her elbow to her wrist on both arms. The warm liquid spilling over her and onto the floor, she collapsed. Her eyes fluttered until they finally closed. She layed there until all she saw was black. A color she had known all to well for that is what she truly was inside.



The End

Blaire023
22nd October 2003, 07:11
*sniffles and wipes the tears away*

there are so many people out there, especially girls the ages between 13 and 17 that turn to some form of suicide. Whether they attempt it out of attention or simply because they can't go on anymore. In Chloe's case. The stronger they are, the harder they fall.

now i can't stop crying, b/c and i dont mean this harshly, but i've been there, been to that place where you just can't find yourself anymore. you're alone and it is unbearable. i was one of the lucky ones. i made it through.

i just have to say, that this is an incredible fic, and there may be some chloe fans who are going to tell you that this is nothing like her, that she'd never let that happen to herself. i wrote a fic called 'in need' and a lot of people said the same thing.

i think this could happen to chloe. and she wouldnt be able to blame it completely on lionel.

it was just beautiful. really. now i'm gonna go cuddle up with sab cuz she has a way of making me feel better.

~B

vardaquareien
22nd October 2003, 14:10
That was really well written and I think very realistic. As someone who's been to that place where you just can't go on anymore I see Chloe's thoughts as being very realistic. I agree with Blaire on this one. While Chloe's a strong person I think that this actually makes this situation more probable. No one can be strong all the time and because she's usually such a strong person to quote Blaire, she's gonna fall alot harder and further.

This was a wonderful emotional piece, thank you for writing it!

tigerbaby
22nd October 2003, 14:40
That was incredibly heart-wrenching. I've been on the brink myself and it's tough to find a reason to go on. I've been called a strong person, but I've never felt more weak than at that point in my life.

I think you did a really great job Jen.

hfce
22nd October 2003, 16:42
That was great jen very good. :crygreen:

marrycherry
22nd October 2003, 19:40
i was a great fic!!

i kinda understand why chloe took that decision, of course i would like that someone was close to her, to not let her fall but sometimes real life is like that and a lot of girls (and boys also) go through that kind of thing, some goes through it some don't and survive ...

i really like the way you took it and showed it to us through Chloe's life

happy bunny
22nd October 2003, 22:24
Amazing job with this Jen! Very emotional. :crygreen: :crygreen:

As another person who has been there, I can completely understand the emotions that she's going through and can relate. Wonderful job.

Calliope
23rd October 2003, 04:35
I'm starting to worry about us, because I've also been at the edge. From talking to others, many don't understand how you can get to a point where the pain outweighs any good in your life.

Great fic.

Group therapy anyone? :biggrin:

drina
23rd October 2003, 06:11
I know exactly how Chloe feels. There's this period of time in my life when I feel that I have nothing to live for in life too....the situation was so bad....fortunately i have great friends who pulled me thru, and i knew who my true friends are.

So, take those so-called friends who don't really care about you with a grain of salt, while treasure the friends who really cares about you.

autumngold
24th October 2003, 08:45
Your story is so sad. :crygreen: Almost too lifelike! Thank you so much for writing-hopefully your writing will help all of us who feel the same as Chloe! Please write more soon! :yay2: :wub: :yay2: :chlexsign3:

tigerbaby
7th November 2003, 00:07
I know I've already reviewed but I was reading this again as I listened to the song and :crygreen: It's such a heartbreaking song that my angst muse has been screaming at me, but you've already done this and I can't bring myself to write to this song. I'd be bawling too much!!

This is still a depressingly heartbreaking fic.

SinnerSaint
7th November 2003, 11:24
This story is extremely well written . What also amazes me is how many of us who are reviewing it admit to having " been there " . Yup , me too . And I was lucky . I made it through and I hope that other people who read this story and all our reviews will realize they can make it too.

Charmingjen
7th November 2003, 17:51
I just wanted to thank you all for the awesome reviews. Believe me when I say I know where each and everyone of you are coming from. It's where this fic came from. Deep down inside everyone feels alone no matter what. It's the strong ones who seem to come out from the dark with the help of friends and family which makes all of you special.

Amiee- I'm really glad you like the story. Thanks for your reviews hun :hug:

Love you guys!
Jen

starmoon
12th May 2005, 05:34
that was so sad and it made me cry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!