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becky
29th November 2010, 00:57
Title: Smallville Rhapsody (parody of Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen)
Author: Becky
Disclaimer: This is a not-for-profit fan work and is not affiliated with Smallville or Queen.
Rating: One mild swear word, but nothing racy.

Summary: I wrote this a few years ago and can't believe I never posted it here! It was written at the height of my frustration with Season 4. Oh, and it's funnier if you sing it.

Here is a backing track:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9W1mOJNqwg

Can this be real life?
Can Smallville really be
Fighting for ratings
It's just failing to inspire me
Open your eyes
To meteor-filled skies and see...
We're just the viewers, the network's not listening
Because we're "easy come", "easy go",
"Teenage chicks", "no sense to know,"
Here's what we think of Smallville, that should really matter to you,
To you...

Lana, just wants a man
The hoe don't care if he is dead,
Paris Guy or hair-free head,
Lana, Mom and Dad are gone
They jumped under a meteor to get away from you
Lana, oo-oo-oohh
Yeah we mean to make you cry
We know your acting's worse than you let on
Don't go on, don't go on... 'cos you don't really matter

Chloe, diamond in the rough
The girl can act, that's why
You push her out to stand aside
Goodbye, Al and Miles, we've got to go
Gotta leave your show behind and tell the truth...
Lana, Ooo-oo-ooh, (what we think of Smallville)
She makes me want to die
Too perfect to be real and liked at all

I see a balding sexy bastard of a man
Smirk for me! Smirk for me! Can he do his verbal judo?
Head so appetising, evil mesmerising me!
It's Kal-el! It's Kal-el
It's Kal-el! It's Kal-el
It's Kal-el, Son of Jor-El don't know you
(I'm just a farm boy, nobody's like me)
He's just a farm boy, trying to like his family
Jonothan Kent should have died in Season 3!
All these cool characters, will you let them grow?
We're AlMiles! No! We will not let them grow
Let them grow!
We're AlMiles! We will not let them grow
Let them grow!
We're AlMiles! We will not let them grow
Let them grow!
Will not let them grow - Let them grow
Will not let them grow - Let them grow
No,no,no,no,no,no,no
WB, WB, WB let them grow
Beelzebub's team of writers have it in for me, for me, for me!!!

So you think no-pink-lana is good for my eye?
Don't you know lexana makes me vomit then die?
Oh AlMiles, Can't do this to Smallville,
Just gotta get out, Can't go on watching from here

Nothing really matters
If only you'd agree
Nothing really matters, nothing really matters to me,

That's what I think of Smallville....

red_lady
30th November 2010, 09:14
oh my god...i had to sing it twice it was so much fun

hfce
1st December 2010, 03:33
LOL! That was great. :)

belle89
4th December 2010, 04:43
LMFAO this made my night

Zannie
4th December 2010, 13:24
Haha! I hadn't seen this before. This is hilarious, Becky. Just brilliant. I listened to it as I read, so I got the feel of the music with the words. It works perfectly.

Thanks for posting this!

cbuffy
4th December 2010, 16:01
lol I love the Lana bashing.

letia84
4th December 2010, 19:08
Brilliant!!

JosiCuervo
4th December 2010, 19:28
Fabulous, Becky!!