westwingwolf
16th June 2010, 16:41
Title: WikiBest
Author: westwingwolf
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I do not own Smallville or the characters.
Summary: Lex has taken offense to a new guinea pig owner and must make his opinions known.
AN: This kind of morphed from my original idea when talking to kitten. Sadly, I couldn't make myself write a longer piece, but that could be a good thing when dealing with this brand of crazy. If you are not familar with the Wiki series, you can find it on my fanfiction list. But all you need to know is that WikiLex has an obsession with guinea pigs (his in particular) and his version of Wikipedia.
Chloe stepped into Lex’s study to find him yet again updating Chlexipedia. “It’s been a while since you visited Stu’s page. I was starting to get worried.”
Lex was appalled by the implication. “What do you mean? I never stopped loving Stu or Nosy or any of the babies.”
She quickly stepped behind her husband to hold him in a comforting embrace. “I know. I would never suggest that. Just that for the last few months you’ve been working on other pages. Like that one about the gerbil called ‘The Surgeon’ that supposedly has a time machine or the hamsters who have a love-hate relationship.”
“I’ve only been reading the pages. I haven’t added anything to them. And I will always come back to Stu and Nosy.” He didn’t think it was the right time to mention that the hamsters were more interesting than she had made them seem. After all, one of the hamsters was in fact a vampire-hamster who initially wanted to kill the other hamster which was chosen to slay vampire-hamsters before realizing he was in love with her. The relationship appealed to him on some level. And he really didn’t like that annoying, dark, broody vampire-hamster that first dated the vampire-hamster slayer. But Chloe was wrong, he wasn’t obsessed and he wasn’t letting it interfere with his guinea pigs’ pages.
“I know you will. Let me see what you’re working on.” She read the new paragraph Lex had added under Stu’s Awards & Honors section.
Stu easily bested the competition in Metropolis’ Annual Guinea Pig Show including Oliver Queen’s much touted ‘archery-skilled’ guinea pig Robin. Stu impressed the judges with his chess, billiards, and poker skills, while Robin’s lone skill proved adequate at best. A dangerous skill in such incapable paws would only lead to horrible circumstances if the pet was allowed to breed. Perhaps Mr. Queen should pay more attention to preparing Robin for quality familial relations and less time on perfecting his appearance.
“Lex, you can’t publish that!”
“Why not? It’s true. Stu did beat him, and Queen shouldn’t have suggested that you let Nosy breed with his second rate guinea pig. The mere suggestion that Nosy would want anyone but Stu or that Stu couldn’t satisfy her is insulting,” Lex scowled.
“I believe you made your point quite clear when you punched Oliver in the face and told him to keep his dirty piggy away from Nosy. Therefore, you don’t have to do this.” She folded her arms and stared him down.
“I just think the public should be informed.” He wasn’t going to let her make him drop the issue so easily.
“Lex,” she warned.
“He said Stu couldn’t win because he looked odd with no fur.” His voice was quieter, but filled with anger.
She didn’t want to admonish him because Lex was worried about this very fact when they first approached the notion to enter the contest. Truthfully, she had wanted to punch Oliver herself for being so cruel, but there were principles involved. “Lex,” she stated softly this time.
“He tried to mess with my family,” he stated firmly. Business was one thing, but no one messed with a man’s wife, children, or guinea pigs.
Chloe released a sigh. “If he didn’t know before how wrong he was, then he certainly knows now. But this isn’t what Chlexipedia is about. We report the facts and there is no evidence to suggest Robin would not be a good piggie father. He just won't be one to any of Nosy's children. You can promote Stu’s accomplishments without stooping to some childish level.”
After wavering for a few minutes, Lex acquiesced and deleted the paragraph so he could create a new one. He would allow Chloe to believe he had calm down for now. And if in a few months, Oliver Queen and his guinea pig mysteriously disappeared, well then they would just have to chalk that one up to coincidence.
Chloe kissed him and said, “So you’re still planning to attend the regional competition in Gotham next month, yes?”
Lex nodded. “There is a costume competition, and Wayne claims to have the best costume for his guinea, but I know Stu and I can beat them.”
Chloe smiled and left to make a call. Bruce should be warned to watch what he might say around Lex.
The End.
Author: westwingwolf
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I do not own Smallville or the characters.
Summary: Lex has taken offense to a new guinea pig owner and must make his opinions known.
AN: This kind of morphed from my original idea when talking to kitten. Sadly, I couldn't make myself write a longer piece, but that could be a good thing when dealing with this brand of crazy. If you are not familar with the Wiki series, you can find it on my fanfiction list. But all you need to know is that WikiLex has an obsession with guinea pigs (his in particular) and his version of Wikipedia.
Chloe stepped into Lex’s study to find him yet again updating Chlexipedia. “It’s been a while since you visited Stu’s page. I was starting to get worried.”
Lex was appalled by the implication. “What do you mean? I never stopped loving Stu or Nosy or any of the babies.”
She quickly stepped behind her husband to hold him in a comforting embrace. “I know. I would never suggest that. Just that for the last few months you’ve been working on other pages. Like that one about the gerbil called ‘The Surgeon’ that supposedly has a time machine or the hamsters who have a love-hate relationship.”
“I’ve only been reading the pages. I haven’t added anything to them. And I will always come back to Stu and Nosy.” He didn’t think it was the right time to mention that the hamsters were more interesting than she had made them seem. After all, one of the hamsters was in fact a vampire-hamster who initially wanted to kill the other hamster which was chosen to slay vampire-hamsters before realizing he was in love with her. The relationship appealed to him on some level. And he really didn’t like that annoying, dark, broody vampire-hamster that first dated the vampire-hamster slayer. But Chloe was wrong, he wasn’t obsessed and he wasn’t letting it interfere with his guinea pigs’ pages.
“I know you will. Let me see what you’re working on.” She read the new paragraph Lex had added under Stu’s Awards & Honors section.
Stu easily bested the competition in Metropolis’ Annual Guinea Pig Show including Oliver Queen’s much touted ‘archery-skilled’ guinea pig Robin. Stu impressed the judges with his chess, billiards, and poker skills, while Robin’s lone skill proved adequate at best. A dangerous skill in such incapable paws would only lead to horrible circumstances if the pet was allowed to breed. Perhaps Mr. Queen should pay more attention to preparing Robin for quality familial relations and less time on perfecting his appearance.
“Lex, you can’t publish that!”
“Why not? It’s true. Stu did beat him, and Queen shouldn’t have suggested that you let Nosy breed with his second rate guinea pig. The mere suggestion that Nosy would want anyone but Stu or that Stu couldn’t satisfy her is insulting,” Lex scowled.
“I believe you made your point quite clear when you punched Oliver in the face and told him to keep his dirty piggy away from Nosy. Therefore, you don’t have to do this.” She folded her arms and stared him down.
“I just think the public should be informed.” He wasn’t going to let her make him drop the issue so easily.
“Lex,” she warned.
“He said Stu couldn’t win because he looked odd with no fur.” His voice was quieter, but filled with anger.
She didn’t want to admonish him because Lex was worried about this very fact when they first approached the notion to enter the contest. Truthfully, she had wanted to punch Oliver herself for being so cruel, but there were principles involved. “Lex,” she stated softly this time.
“He tried to mess with my family,” he stated firmly. Business was one thing, but no one messed with a man’s wife, children, or guinea pigs.
Chloe released a sigh. “If he didn’t know before how wrong he was, then he certainly knows now. But this isn’t what Chlexipedia is about. We report the facts and there is no evidence to suggest Robin would not be a good piggie father. He just won't be one to any of Nosy's children. You can promote Stu’s accomplishments without stooping to some childish level.”
After wavering for a few minutes, Lex acquiesced and deleted the paragraph so he could create a new one. He would allow Chloe to believe he had calm down for now. And if in a few months, Oliver Queen and his guinea pig mysteriously disappeared, well then they would just have to chalk that one up to coincidence.
Chloe kissed him and said, “So you’re still planning to attend the regional competition in Gotham next month, yes?”
Lex nodded. “There is a costume competition, and Wayne claims to have the best costume for his guinea, but I know Stu and I can beat them.”
Chloe smiled and left to make a call. Bruce should be warned to watch what he might say around Lex.
The End.