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View Full Version : That Burning Thing (R)



Michelle
15th August 2003, 18:13
Title: That Burning Thing

Rating: Strong R

Spoilers: Nah. Kinda AU.

Pairing: Sorta Chlex

Feedback: hmmm…yes!!

Disclaimer: Of course I own them. They live in my closet and act out episodes whenever I like (note the sarcasm). Oh, and none of the songs are mine, they belong to george, The presidents of the US, the beatles and James Horner.

Warnings: Mentions of rape, violence, mental abuse, insanity and some naughty words.

Summary: “There's only one thing that ever changes anything... and that's death. Everything else is just a lie.” – Conner, Home.


Dedication: To Vardaquareien and Gemini, whose signatures always make me laugh.


A/N: This is just part of my 'bored-and-in-need-of-drama' phase.


*************


‘She’s so thin,’ I find myself thinking, ‘So much thinner than before.’

Nobody really notices. Not really. She wears long sleeved tops and baggy pants that are done up with an old leather belt. Chloe wears them to hide the marks that cover her body like a twister board. Left hand, Chloe’s wrist, right foot, Chloe’s breast. I know she’s starving herself, because one time I mentioned I loved her curves. I pounded that repeatedly into her head until she screamed, disgusted with her own body. That was the night she stopped fighting me, and that was the night I vowed to stop. Still I keep going, and still she doesn’t fight.

Usually it’s her fault, I can see her look at Clark with something akin to longing. She assures me that I’m the only one she wants, and she just misses Clark as a friend. I know she is lying, because I know Chloe. It was an accident, I swear, she shouldn’t have been so near the stairs anyway, she shouldn’t have looked at Clark the way she did. When I took her to the hospital, that bitch Helen treated her, I said it was an accident, but she didn’t believe me.

Chloe must have told her, or she could have seen the finger imprints on her upper arms that were now a dark purple. I took no chances, I carried her home and locked her in the closet. Nobody will understand, I can’t take any chances with Chloe. I love her, and she loves me so much it will kill her one day. I have to keep her repressed. At first she was angry, she threatened to leave me if I hit her again. So, I attacked her with my autographed baseball bat. I don’t remember who autographed it, the blood covered the name.

When the hospital took her body, my dad was there. He looked ashamed and disgusted, but he did not breathe a word to anyone. Ha, I thought, I’m not like you dad, I don’t let my loves die, I keep them forever. I was so happy that night, I drunk myself into a stupor and the next day, I collected Chloe from the hospital. She was reluctant to come with me at first, so I punched her on the side of the head. Dr Bryce saw this and called the police, but the charges were soon dropped and Helen was imprisoned for six months on the counts of fraud and libel. She’s never been able to hear out that ear since, but she soon found out who was boss.

Chloe won’t let me make love to her any more, she makes me rape her. Honestly, she resists too much and makes me do it. Stupid bitch, I have to make her see that I love her, and violence gets that across to her quite well, but not well enough. She ran away once, I found her at a cheap motel. Someone had raped her and she was bloody and crying, blubbering about being pregnant. I threw her out the stain glass window, the exact one she had fallen out of years ago. She lost the baby, so that night I offered to make love to her like we used to, if she wanted. She didn’t want. Although I was pleased she still had that fire I loved, it wasn’t what I wanted to hear and she made me rape her. Again.

Right now she’s reading. I love to watch her read, except the bony structure of her face is casting shadows over most of it. But I know her lips are pursed, I know her nose is wrinkled, as I know she is thinking of leaving me. She thinks I am the reason she can’t bear children, she thinks Clark will save her one day. I shove down the urge to hit her as I stride towards the piano. I take my place at the velvet stool, running my fingers over the ivory keys. I play a warped version of Motzart’s fifteenth symphony, because it used to make her smile. I quickly change to chopsticks, then to an old nameless piece I barely remembered for childhood. It’s like glitter in the air and it makes my tongue dry.

“I’m dying,” she says quietly.

I am determined to finish the song, tugging it out of my brain like coloured scarves from a magician’s pocket. It reaches a subtle crescendo, which I over-exaggerate, fucking the whole performance up and making my fingers stumble over the keys.

“How?” I ask, my fingers pounding on the piano as I start an old-fashioned, sassy jazz tune. I close my eyes, enjoying the physical sensation of the change from light to dark.

“Cancer,” she supplies for me. I suddenly switch to the george song ‘Bastard Son’, the sad but fast melody makes the oxygen sweet and I breathe it in. “The doctor says it won’t be long.”

Something in her voice makes me laugh and I change my song to the death march, but with a light-hearted tinkling in the background. She almost sounds smug, so I switch back to Bastard Son.

“Urban enzyme digest slowly, eating crust and crouton wholly, cut up news with froth and frolic, hero doomed and alcoholic…” I sing softly without any real tune to my voice. Like I’m talking the words but my throat is humming. “Is there a cure?”

“Too late for cures. It’s cervical cancer, but it spread to my spine.”

I change to a Beatles song, a sad one that makes too much sense, so no one sane could understand it, “All the lonely people where do they all come from? All the lonely people where do they all belong?” I continue playing, “Could have been famous, Chloe, not just for my name.”

“Don’t see it, Lex,” she answers.

“And everyone wants to be naked and famous, everybody wants to be just like me…don’t correct me, Chloe, it’s not the right tune.” I finish the song, my tired hands resting flat on the white starkness of the keys. “Wish it was.”

She walks over to sit beside me, her skeletal hands gliding over the keys. She’s playing that ten-minute song by James Horner, the elegant sound lolling me into a half-sleep. I suddenly snap out of it and strike out at her, my sloppy punch hitting her jaw. She topples off the seat with only a small noise, her form crumpling into a tired heap.

“Don’t play on the dream, Chloe, it’ll only fight back,” I say, yawning.

“Hardly a dream,” she snorts, rising to her feet, “you took my life from me, Lex, but now it’s getting stolen away from you. How does that feel?”

“Kinda burns, here,” I do feel it. A burning. “I think it’s the fire.”

“You haven’t got a fire, Lex, remember?”

“No,” I say truthfully, “I don’t.”


The END.

**************


A/N: Please don’t hurt me.

sabby
15th August 2003, 19:13
errrrr kay. Uhm, yeah. Not really sure what to say here, since my initial reaction is WTF? Ok, don't see this as a flame, since your style is fine, and well grammar is not bad either. But it's hard for me to see Lex as someone who uses physical violence against a woman. Sorry, just doesn't fit in my picture. I mean looking at his character on the show, he isn't someone to repress his emotions, there is nothing in his history giving him the emotional back ground to treat women in an abusive way. Added to that, I can't see any other reason that might drive him to do this. And I must say he comes over a tad bit too insane for my taste. I hope you don't feel threatened now, or think that I am out to flame you. Just not really getting the point here. Why would he behave like that when in my opinion it is so out of character for him? *seriously confused and staring at the screen now*

hugs,
Sabby

tigerbaby
15th August 2003, 20:06
I'm confused too and please don't take this the wrong way.

Lex always struck me as too in control of his emotions to resort to abusing women to stay with him, especially if it's someone that doesn't want to be with him. I can see him taking down a company or getting rid of the 'other' man but I can't see him keeping a woman who was afraid of him. Fear can't be all that much of an aphrodisiac.

I actually felt kind of sick reading it but maybe that's what you were going for. If so, very well written.

hfce
16th August 2003, 03:02
That was weird :huh:


Hope

Michelle
16th August 2003, 04:52
great. i'm crying now.

kidding! Nah, I accept your criticism with open arms. I was kind of in a dark place while writing this, then I stopped for ages. Just found it yesterday so I thought 'what they hey, i'll just finish it up and post it'. I know the whole characterisation is off, but you know how plots just fall into your mind and you can't get over it until you write them? This was more a psyche discovery thing, and at the time I was just thinking 'chlex chlex chlex' so they were the unfortunate pair in my story. Sorry if I offended or confused anyone. the same thing has been happening with my Buffy fics, i've been striving for lightness and they just keep ending up dark. I think I was just sick of all the main people being so good. Like eg, Chloe gets raped and Lex comforts her. I guess i wanted something different, but screwed it up royally. Ah well, thanks for your fb anyway. it'd be more embarassing if no-one'd fb'd anything.

Hugs, Michelle.

Sezza
16th August 2003, 17:39
I'm not big on reading rape fics but I have to say that I actually thought this was very well written. I know that others who FB'd were kinda weirded out by this fic but I wasn't. I could picture Lex being violent to his lovers. Rape? Now that i'm not sure of but still, I think that the message you were trying to make got through to me. Chloe couldn't leave so fate intervined and took her from him.

Great work babe,


-Sarah

vardaquareien
17th August 2003, 06:35
Thanx for the dedication - I've never been dedicated to before!!! *sniff*

I have really mixed reactions to this fic - it was really well written and though undoubtedly an unpleasant subject it was a very interesting scenario.

As others have said, I don't see their characters in this situation, I can't see Lex in this way and I can't see Chloe putting up with it. The aspects of Lex that I can see in the male character are the need for control and the excercise of power. If you look at Lex in the contex of his evil/insane persona perhaps this could be credible to canon (I don't really know I've never read the comics). Smallville Lex though seems too well contained and in control to ever become this character.

However, that said, if I look at it as just two characters then it is a really intriguing look into the psyche of two people in this position. I find that I am much more able to appreciate this fic if I look at it as not being Chloe and Lex.

I think the fact that you've achieved such strong reactions from people should indicate that while this fic may not be enjoyable to read, it is nevertheless a successful piece of writing. You did create something different and you did not screw it up royally. Well done!

Blaire023
17th August 2003, 07:17
*stares at screen.*

wha...huh?

ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Okay, I'm not going to say anything about the story itself...*points finger upwards to sab's review*

You have a great talent, now put it to work with some happiness.

~B

L'infini
18th August 2003, 15:29
Umm, *holds up hand* I liked it. Well, liked is the wrong word, cos, y'know, it was all dark and scary but I thought it was good. I can totally see someone as tightly controlled as Lex is, might snap in private. And the whole thing about being jealous of Clark, eh, constantly being used by women, no parental love after the death of his mother. And they say that a high proportion of abused people go on to abuse others, I point to the highly emotionally abusive father. Anyway, just my POV.

Good fic. But I agree with what others have said, go write me some fluff, dammit! ;)

Lel
19th August 2003, 11:57
Very Intense....

Well Written. I do think it is a good fic. Just possibly Slightly Disturbing (which I guess means you really did write it well considering what it was about)

Czech Angel
19th August 2003, 21:08
That was um...interesting. My first reaction was 'what the fuck is this?'
But after I read it again it was kinda good. I also think that Lex was OOC, but I understand that once u get a plot in your head you have to write it down or it keeps nagging you.
So in other words, your writing style was cool. The fic is just not my thing even though it's good.
A freaky scary good, but still good.

starmoon
29th April 2005, 04:35
that was great but so wrong and sad. lex is so horrible in this story and i wish i could hurt him and save chloe. i wish i could protect her and let her know i would always be her friend.

pipersmum
3rd November 2005, 11:59
Very, very intense:eek:

It was written really well even if Chloe and Lex were OOC:D
Lex has controlled her for so long now that has been taken away from him!

sylvia
3rd November 2005, 15:16
Very well-written. I liked the perspective, the Lex POV. Personally I don't find Lex out of character at all, given what we know of the highly unstable, half-insane misanthrope he's supposed to become in the future. The self-sacrificing, self-condemning woobie half of him notwithstanding, Lex Luthor is a man immanently capable of great violence and destruction, and it's not hard to imagine his control and rage issues, obsessive personality, and extreme possessiveness (which a Luthor would have no problem mistaking for love) spiralling into physical and emotional abuse. Also, the fact that you have Chloe dying of cancer, of all things, actually makes this disturbed, destructive relationship seem inevitable, almost predestined, a continuation of what I like to call the Luthor Curse (each man kills the thing he loves, etc). After all, the same thing more or less happened to Lionel too, after a fashion. So nope, I have no trouble whatever visualisng the version of psychotic!Lex you've got here.

I don't see Chloe's behaviour as absurd either. Her actions and words are in tune with those of a woman who has been completely broken and defeated by the horrifying transformation of the man she loves; the exhausted, fatalistic bitterness and resentment rings true psychologically as well. It's definitely a bit of a shock, seeing the characters so far gone from their 'Smallville' personas, but even without a more extensively developed backstory, the possibility you've presented here is by no means an unbelievable one, and I'd say that this story is more of a daringly acute exploration of a very warped psyche than an OOC piece of work.

I thought the cameo appearance of Lionel was an especially nice touch. I can't quite put my finger on why that is; probably a combination of the outside perspective, making the reader wonder exactly how much guilt and sorrow and disgust Lionel is actually feeling, the whole the-son-shall-surpass-the-father thing, and the shadow of all the lingering childhood trauma that doubtless played no small part in driving Lex to his current state.

When the hospital took her body, my dad was there. He looked ashamed and disgusted, but he did not breathe a word to anyone. Ha, I thought, I’m not like you dad, I don’t let my loves die, I keep them forever. Delicious irony too. Though I think it may be because I'm a sucker for Robert Browning-type sickos.

All in all, I found it an intriguing and compelling story. Sorry it took me two years to read and review it! =P

starmoon
4th November 2005, 21:52
very intense story. i cryied a little while reading it. things like this happen to so many women and they are to scared to leve the ones hurting them. i whish chloe would just leave even if she is dieing she should be happy and away from lex since his is now truly evil and just can't stop hurting her and blaming it on chloe which is a lie and so stupid. when chloe dies lex will feel so much pain and be truly alone and in this story he deserves all the pain in the world and chloe deserves to be at peace even if she has to die to get it. if any women is going through what chloe when through in this story i hope they will get help and have the person put in jail so they can't hurt them or anyone else ever again. well written story though it makes me sad and very angery. what goes around cones around so lex will get his one day while chloe is happy and at peace like she deserves.

Ami Rose
28th March 2020, 03:54
Very Intense....

Well Written. I do think it is a good fic. Just possibly Slightly Disturbing (which I guess means you really did write it well considering what it was about)

Extremely dark! But I agree well written!