westwingwolf
3rd September 2007, 03:24
Title: WikiBigotry
Author: westwingwolf
Rating: PG
Summary: Lex gets angry with Wikipedia.
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.
AN: If you are new to the Wiki Series, I suggest you read WikiBattle and WikiBaby first to know the craziness of this world's Lex and Chloe. Thanks to nonky for the use of Stu. This was written to vent about how Wikipedia has treated my latest article. If you don't know who Maury Povich is, Wiki him. I doubt his article has been deleted.
“Chloe!”
“What!”
“Come here!”
“Lex, I’m seven months pregnant. Think about who should be the one to make a move.” Nothing else was said and Lex made the short journey from the office to their bedroom.
At this stage in her pregnancy, she was resting comfortably with her firm round belly in view for the world to see. She had made a nesting area on the bed. Her laptop was in reach right next to her. Various chips and cookies bags were piled on the opposite side as was fresh cut broccoli and her choice of French onion dip, French dressing or chocolate sauce. Bottles of orange juice, milk, and water were lined up on the side table. She wished she could have coffee, but Lex refused to bring her any and only conceded that she could have the chocolate sauce for her milk.
Chloe had decided early on that she wasn’t going to be one of those idiotic starlets who worried about their weight and tried not to gain too much or choose to slim down as quickly as possible. She was watching Maury Povich, and some idiot guest thought she was five months pregnant but hadn’t gained any weight. The woman turned out not to be pregnant. All Chloe could think was either the woman was stupid for not catching on, or she was purposely neglecting the pregnancy and therefore knew exactly why she hadn’t gained a pound.
She wanted to do this pregnancy right and who cared if she didn’t return to her original weight after the baby was born. Lex was incredibly pleased by her curvier figure, and she was certain that he was already calculating just how long he had to wait before he could get her pregnant again. He was going to have to wait a couple of years or else he wouldn’t get the chance to even try again.
“Your every wish is my command. I live to serve only you my darling. My heart stops beating the moment you speak my name and does not beat again until you give it permission.”
She made no effort to resist her eye roll. “Stop being a jackass. You were the one who wanted me, so what is so urgent.”
“They want to delete my article!” Despite the closeness that she shared with her husband and how much she was the only person in the world who could understand him, she did not have a clue as to what he was talking about at times like this.
“Ok seeing as how I’m a journalist, I’ll ask two of the five important questions: Who? and What?”
“The WikiNazis on Wikipedia. They are trying to delete my article about Stu. They say it’s not relevant, and I can’t back it up with secondary sources or some nonsense like that.”
“Should you really be referring to them as Nazis if all they want is to delete an article? There’s hardly a strong comparison.”
“Chloe, you are missing the point.”
“Right, help me to see the point again.”
“An article about Stu is relevant, and they have no right to say it isn’t.”
At this point Lex was pacing back and forth while gesturing wildly, so Chloe reached out her hand to make him sit down next to her. Once he had done so, she put her arms around his back and put her head into his chest. She gave him a kiss where his heart lie and he started to settle down. Once he had moved them both back to lie on the bed with their heads resting against each other, she spoke softly to him.
“Baby, I love Stu just as much as you do, but perhaps the world does not feel the same way about him.” She felt him start to struggle as he prepared to argue, so she placed her arm against him to hold him down. “I know that means that the world is stupid, but that’s just the way it is.”
Lex let out a puff of air before his spoke. “How many skinny pigs are there that are being trained to play both chess AND poker?”
“Well, maybe you should wait until he’s proven that he can master those skills. Then, no one will have a reason to question his importance.”
“If I wait, then someone else might write the article first. I can’t let that happen.”
“You are going to be the one who trained him. That is what is important, not who wrote the article first.”
“But he’s my” Lex stopped and could feel the sharp glare Chloe was shooting at him from where she rested on the bed. “Our…he’s our skinny pig and we should be the ones to write the first articles about his brilliance. I can’t believe that as a journalist, you don’t want to be the person who is on the ground floor about this.”
“Of course I want to be the first when it comes to outing Stu’s abilities, but what can we do? It’s not like we own…” She wasn’t able to say anything else as Lex had already jumped up and moved towards the office.
She followed after him, trying to explain how impossible it was to buy out Wikipedia. “You can’t do this, Lex. It’s a nonprofit organization. You can’t buy it. It’s free to everyone.”
However, Lex was already on the phone to his lawyers by the time she had reached the office. She could see that he was determined to get this done and nothing she said would change his mind, no matter how logical she was. As long as his megalomania made him happy, who was she to judge?
A half an hour later, he returned to the bedroom to inform her that they were now the proud owners of Wikipedia. It was still free to everyone and anyone could still edit it as they pleased as long as the two of them had final say so. He also made it so certain pages could not be deleted or edited unless done by one of them. Now, Stu would have his own personal page that would stand the test of time. Lex also told her that he changed the website name to Chlexipedia in their honor.
Chloe was tempted to tell him that the name made absolutely no sense when one thought about what Wikipedia does, but she didn’t want to spoil the happy mood that Lex was currently having.
“I’m off to write more about Stu, Nosy, and the kids. Is there anything else you think I should add?”
Chloe gave it some thought and decided she might as well have some fun with their new acquisition. “Yeah, I believe that Lana cloned herself so she would have someone to love her unconditionally only to found out that the clone decided to be in love with itself.”
“I’m on it!”
The End.
Author: westwingwolf
Rating: PG
Summary: Lex gets angry with Wikipedia.
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.
AN: If you are new to the Wiki Series, I suggest you read WikiBattle and WikiBaby first to know the craziness of this world's Lex and Chloe. Thanks to nonky for the use of Stu. This was written to vent about how Wikipedia has treated my latest article. If you don't know who Maury Povich is, Wiki him. I doubt his article has been deleted.
“Chloe!”
“What!”
“Come here!”
“Lex, I’m seven months pregnant. Think about who should be the one to make a move.” Nothing else was said and Lex made the short journey from the office to their bedroom.
At this stage in her pregnancy, she was resting comfortably with her firm round belly in view for the world to see. She had made a nesting area on the bed. Her laptop was in reach right next to her. Various chips and cookies bags were piled on the opposite side as was fresh cut broccoli and her choice of French onion dip, French dressing or chocolate sauce. Bottles of orange juice, milk, and water were lined up on the side table. She wished she could have coffee, but Lex refused to bring her any and only conceded that she could have the chocolate sauce for her milk.
Chloe had decided early on that she wasn’t going to be one of those idiotic starlets who worried about their weight and tried not to gain too much or choose to slim down as quickly as possible. She was watching Maury Povich, and some idiot guest thought she was five months pregnant but hadn’t gained any weight. The woman turned out not to be pregnant. All Chloe could think was either the woman was stupid for not catching on, or she was purposely neglecting the pregnancy and therefore knew exactly why she hadn’t gained a pound.
She wanted to do this pregnancy right and who cared if she didn’t return to her original weight after the baby was born. Lex was incredibly pleased by her curvier figure, and she was certain that he was already calculating just how long he had to wait before he could get her pregnant again. He was going to have to wait a couple of years or else he wouldn’t get the chance to even try again.
“Your every wish is my command. I live to serve only you my darling. My heart stops beating the moment you speak my name and does not beat again until you give it permission.”
She made no effort to resist her eye roll. “Stop being a jackass. You were the one who wanted me, so what is so urgent.”
“They want to delete my article!” Despite the closeness that she shared with her husband and how much she was the only person in the world who could understand him, she did not have a clue as to what he was talking about at times like this.
“Ok seeing as how I’m a journalist, I’ll ask two of the five important questions: Who? and What?”
“The WikiNazis on Wikipedia. They are trying to delete my article about Stu. They say it’s not relevant, and I can’t back it up with secondary sources or some nonsense like that.”
“Should you really be referring to them as Nazis if all they want is to delete an article? There’s hardly a strong comparison.”
“Chloe, you are missing the point.”
“Right, help me to see the point again.”
“An article about Stu is relevant, and they have no right to say it isn’t.”
At this point Lex was pacing back and forth while gesturing wildly, so Chloe reached out her hand to make him sit down next to her. Once he had done so, she put her arms around his back and put her head into his chest. She gave him a kiss where his heart lie and he started to settle down. Once he had moved them both back to lie on the bed with their heads resting against each other, she spoke softly to him.
“Baby, I love Stu just as much as you do, but perhaps the world does not feel the same way about him.” She felt him start to struggle as he prepared to argue, so she placed her arm against him to hold him down. “I know that means that the world is stupid, but that’s just the way it is.”
Lex let out a puff of air before his spoke. “How many skinny pigs are there that are being trained to play both chess AND poker?”
“Well, maybe you should wait until he’s proven that he can master those skills. Then, no one will have a reason to question his importance.”
“If I wait, then someone else might write the article first. I can’t let that happen.”
“You are going to be the one who trained him. That is what is important, not who wrote the article first.”
“But he’s my” Lex stopped and could feel the sharp glare Chloe was shooting at him from where she rested on the bed. “Our…he’s our skinny pig and we should be the ones to write the first articles about his brilliance. I can’t believe that as a journalist, you don’t want to be the person who is on the ground floor about this.”
“Of course I want to be the first when it comes to outing Stu’s abilities, but what can we do? It’s not like we own…” She wasn’t able to say anything else as Lex had already jumped up and moved towards the office.
She followed after him, trying to explain how impossible it was to buy out Wikipedia. “You can’t do this, Lex. It’s a nonprofit organization. You can’t buy it. It’s free to everyone.”
However, Lex was already on the phone to his lawyers by the time she had reached the office. She could see that he was determined to get this done and nothing she said would change his mind, no matter how logical she was. As long as his megalomania made him happy, who was she to judge?
A half an hour later, he returned to the bedroom to inform her that they were now the proud owners of Wikipedia. It was still free to everyone and anyone could still edit it as they pleased as long as the two of them had final say so. He also made it so certain pages could not be deleted or edited unless done by one of them. Now, Stu would have his own personal page that would stand the test of time. Lex also told her that he changed the website name to Chlexipedia in their honor.
Chloe was tempted to tell him that the name made absolutely no sense when one thought about what Wikipedia does, but she didn’t want to spoil the happy mood that Lex was currently having.
“I’m off to write more about Stu, Nosy, and the kids. Is there anything else you think I should add?”
Chloe gave it some thought and decided she might as well have some fun with their new acquisition. “Yeah, I believe that Lana cloned herself so she would have someone to love her unconditionally only to found out that the clone decided to be in love with itself.”
“I’m on it!”
The End.