Sandy
15th February 2007, 04:47
Bathroom drama
Summary: Let's just say Lex is having a bit of "bathroom drama". (not what you THINK!)
Rated:PG-13
One
"Seriously Clark, why do men have to read play boy?" Chloe looked disgusted at her friend, as he flipped the pages of the latest issue of Play Boy.
"Don't you let Lex read it? Lois doesn't care." Clark shrugged as he flipped a page and stopped in his tracks.
"Yeah right Smallville. Oooh.." Lois loomed over his shoulder and stared at the new "beauty queen" for this month.
"This months new beauty queen is Smallville's very own," Lois paused as if to make a grand entrance. "Lana Lang. In all her glory serious does she have to own all the hearts of Kansas?" Lois huffed as she took the mag from Clark.
"Hey! I was reading that!"
"The hell you were! It should go in the garbage where it belongs!"
"Where what belongs?" A male voice entered the conversation. Chloe turn towards the sound of Lex Luthor.
"Nothing.." Lois finished. She didn't want Lex to know that Lana Lang was in Play Boy. He would probably freak like Clark.
"Lana is in this months Play boy." Clark snatched the magazine from Lois, and showed Lana in all her glory. Lex look entranced by her beauty but frowned.
"Chloe could do better." Chloe took that as a compliment, but then stated
"Hey! I am NOT going into Play boy just so guys can drool all over me. I get enough of that from you!" Lex smiled and gave a light tap on her butt.
"So anyway Lois, as I was saying. The bathroom has been well kinda 'active' the past few days. I swear if it's not smells it's something else."
"You two having sex in the shower again?" Clark raised an eyebrow as if flirting with his friend. Or likely sister in law.
"Not since last week." Lex winked at Clark and growled at Chloe.
"Haha it is to laugh. Everytime we have something to eat at night, he's in the bathroom at 3AM. I keep telling him not to eat that stuff. It's not good for him."
"Oh puhleeze! So I stink up the bathroom everyday. Who doesn't?" Lois almost chokes on her water. Clark gives her a glare, more like a threaten evil frown.
"Clark," Clark cut off Lois and wanted to know more about Lex's bathroom drama.
"Doesn't he know I have to clean that shit? I mean come on! At least be polite and put the lid down."
"Chloe, you can't expect me to put the lid down every time I go number 2." Chloe shot her husband a glare but he ignored it.
"Seriously Lex, the NEXT time you go poop in my bathroom, your doodoo!"
"Good one Chloe." Chloe was making her exit.
"Chloe?" Lex called after her. He shrugged at Lois and Clark, and ran after her.
"Bathroom drama." Clark shook his head. Lois hit him playfully on the shoulder.
"You're the one who should talk."
"Me? What about that whomper you left me this morning?" Lois glared at him and Clark turned to look at his Play boy magazine.
****
On the way home Lex's shoulders were tensed about the conversation at the Talon.
"How can men do that?" Chloe burst out.
"Well EVERYONE does it Chloe."
"Read Play boy. I mean seriously. You don't see me drooling in the Play girl aisle."
"Well there was that one time.."
"That's because it was YOU silly. Besides I haven't seen you naked then." She winks at him and a smile grows on his lips.
***
3:00AM
Chloe leans over to Lex, but he isn't there. She hears the toilet being flushed. A groan escapes her mouth. Lex tumbles in bed and lays down.
"Leeeeex!"
"Did you want something?" He growled seductively.
"What have I told you about the bathroom thing?" Chloe complained.
"What? It's my mansion."
"What's yours in mine."
"And yours is mine."
"Grrr! Stupid marriage." Chloe pulled the covers over her head, faced away from Lex and went back to bed.
"It's not my fault. I'm not the one who makes dinner." Lex said as he got comfy facing away from her. Chloe shot up and gave him the stariest of all glares.
"My cooking? What's that have to do with it?!" Lex shrugged still facing away from her. He could feel her icy eyes on his back.
"Well maybe your using too much grease."
"Well excuse me if you have a passion for fried foods."
"It's not my fault. I don't eat them too much."
"Well who's fault is it for going to the bathroom? It has to be SOMETHING you're eating." Chloe went back to bed and wondered what it was making Lex go poop more then anything.
Summary: Let's just say Lex is having a bit of "bathroom drama". (not what you THINK!)
Rated:PG-13
One
"Seriously Clark, why do men have to read play boy?" Chloe looked disgusted at her friend, as he flipped the pages of the latest issue of Play Boy.
"Don't you let Lex read it? Lois doesn't care." Clark shrugged as he flipped a page and stopped in his tracks.
"Yeah right Smallville. Oooh.." Lois loomed over his shoulder and stared at the new "beauty queen" for this month.
"This months new beauty queen is Smallville's very own," Lois paused as if to make a grand entrance. "Lana Lang. In all her glory serious does she have to own all the hearts of Kansas?" Lois huffed as she took the mag from Clark.
"Hey! I was reading that!"
"The hell you were! It should go in the garbage where it belongs!"
"Where what belongs?" A male voice entered the conversation. Chloe turn towards the sound of Lex Luthor.
"Nothing.." Lois finished. She didn't want Lex to know that Lana Lang was in Play Boy. He would probably freak like Clark.
"Lana is in this months Play boy." Clark snatched the magazine from Lois, and showed Lana in all her glory. Lex look entranced by her beauty but frowned.
"Chloe could do better." Chloe took that as a compliment, but then stated
"Hey! I am NOT going into Play boy just so guys can drool all over me. I get enough of that from you!" Lex smiled and gave a light tap on her butt.
"So anyway Lois, as I was saying. The bathroom has been well kinda 'active' the past few days. I swear if it's not smells it's something else."
"You two having sex in the shower again?" Clark raised an eyebrow as if flirting with his friend. Or likely sister in law.
"Not since last week." Lex winked at Clark and growled at Chloe.
"Haha it is to laugh. Everytime we have something to eat at night, he's in the bathroom at 3AM. I keep telling him not to eat that stuff. It's not good for him."
"Oh puhleeze! So I stink up the bathroom everyday. Who doesn't?" Lois almost chokes on her water. Clark gives her a glare, more like a threaten evil frown.
"Clark," Clark cut off Lois and wanted to know more about Lex's bathroom drama.
"Doesn't he know I have to clean that shit? I mean come on! At least be polite and put the lid down."
"Chloe, you can't expect me to put the lid down every time I go number 2." Chloe shot her husband a glare but he ignored it.
"Seriously Lex, the NEXT time you go poop in my bathroom, your doodoo!"
"Good one Chloe." Chloe was making her exit.
"Chloe?" Lex called after her. He shrugged at Lois and Clark, and ran after her.
"Bathroom drama." Clark shook his head. Lois hit him playfully on the shoulder.
"You're the one who should talk."
"Me? What about that whomper you left me this morning?" Lois glared at him and Clark turned to look at his Play boy magazine.
****
On the way home Lex's shoulders were tensed about the conversation at the Talon.
"How can men do that?" Chloe burst out.
"Well EVERYONE does it Chloe."
"Read Play boy. I mean seriously. You don't see me drooling in the Play girl aisle."
"Well there was that one time.."
"That's because it was YOU silly. Besides I haven't seen you naked then." She winks at him and a smile grows on his lips.
***
3:00AM
Chloe leans over to Lex, but he isn't there. She hears the toilet being flushed. A groan escapes her mouth. Lex tumbles in bed and lays down.
"Leeeeex!"
"Did you want something?" He growled seductively.
"What have I told you about the bathroom thing?" Chloe complained.
"What? It's my mansion."
"What's yours in mine."
"And yours is mine."
"Grrr! Stupid marriage." Chloe pulled the covers over her head, faced away from Lex and went back to bed.
"It's not my fault. I'm not the one who makes dinner." Lex said as he got comfy facing away from her. Chloe shot up and gave him the stariest of all glares.
"My cooking? What's that have to do with it?!" Lex shrugged still facing away from her. He could feel her icy eyes on his back.
"Well maybe your using too much grease."
"Well excuse me if you have a passion for fried foods."
"It's not my fault. I don't eat them too much."
"Well who's fault is it for going to the bathroom? It has to be SOMETHING you're eating." Chloe went back to bed and wondered what it was making Lex go poop more then anything.