hurlingturtles
20th June 2003, 07:55
Title: Everybody Cries
Author: hurlingturtles
Rating: PG, I guess, but only because it deals with death and loss.
Disclaimer: I hate doing these, and never feel like being very creative with them. I guess I’ll just run through the same old song and dance- I don’t own any of these characters, I just make them do things they’d never do on the show.
Summary: This one’s a heart-breaker. Lex is having a difficult time dealing with Chloe’s death when her ghost appears to help him.
Notes: Chloe’s dialogue is loosely taken from the lyrics of a song called “Everybody Cries” by Jim Cuddy of a band called Blue Rodeo. It’s a beautiful song- download it.
Walking upstairs was a struggle, his feet unbearably heavy. His head felt light, his chest hollow. The mansion was overwhelmingly silent, broken only by the solitary clicking of his heals against the polished wood floor. He loosened his tie a little bit with trembling hands. The suit he wore was a ruthless black, the shirt underneath the jacket a stark white. His funeral armor.
The shirt almost matched his pasty complexion, contrasting with the violet circles under his eyes. He looked brittle, and felt it, too. Eating and sleeping had become impossible since the accident
He stood in the doorway of his bedroom, his eyes haunted with misery. Her things were still in his room. Gabe had come to collect them the other day, but Lex had refused to let them go.
He stood there, remembering…
* * * * * *
He’d come back home after hours of aimless driving, sick with the knowledge that she wouldn’t be there. As he walked upstairs he heard feet shuffle from the direction of his room. He ran to his room- his heart weeping with the hope that it would be her, his brain telling him that it was impossible.
He threw open the door. And there stood Gabe, pulling out one of her dresses and throwing it in a cardboard box. He remembered the last time she had worn it. She had told him that she was wearing it just for him, bending over just a little and giving him a magnificent view of her breasts with an impish grin. Fury burned in his chest at seeing it so casually discarded.
“What are you doing?” Lex demanded snatching up the dress. Seeing other clothes in the box, he overturned it on his bed.
“Taking her stuff.” Gabe tried to grab the dress from him. “You don’t need it, and I would like to have it. She’s my daughter- was my daughter.”
Lex wretched the dress away from him. “You can’t have her things! They’re mine!” He put the dress back on the hanger, lovingly smoothing out every wrinkle and pretending for a moment that she was wearing it, a knowing smile on her lips. “Leave,” he ordered tightly.
“But-“ Gabe protested.
“Leave or I’ll call the police.”
Gabe rubbed his forehead wearily. “Fine, but I’m coming back for her things at some point. I’ll get a court order if I have to.” He picked up the cardboard box and left.
* * * * *
Lex sat heavily on his bed and kicked off his shoes. Undressing took sometime, his long fingers fumbling with each button, each fold of his clothing. Finally, he lay on his bed, on top of the comforter, in his boxers and stared up at the ceiling. His eyes ached for sleep but every time he closed them she was there- touching him, laughing softly, moaning in delight. Chloe…
His heart ached in his chest as if it had been cleaved in two. The details of his room blurred together and tears filled his eyes. He grabbed the comforter and dragged it around him, making it a cocoon around him, as he shivered uncontrollably. Burying in his face in a pillow offered no consolation, it muffled the sobs that shook him but it smelled of her.
He pressed his face harder into the pillow, then harder still. It became difficult to breath and he pressed his face deeper into the pillow. His lungs burned from lack of oxygen and he started to feel like he was floating, numb to the agony. Visions of Chloe danced around him and he felt like she was there with him.
He felt a light, familiar touch on his shoulder and he jumped. Rolling over, his eyes snapped open and he gasped.
She was there. Kneeling bedside his bed, smiling lovingly.
Well, she was almost there. Her body shimmered, slightly transparent. She was ethereally beautiful. To him she looked perfect, but then she always had. Was she a ghost or some fantasy that his grief stricken mind had made real? Did it really matter? She was with him again
“Chloe,” he murmured, his throat aching as new tears gathered in his eyes.
She cupped his cheek and he swore he could almost feel the warmth of her skin.
“Close your eyes, my dear. There’s no need to wake. I wish I could take away the tears from your eyes. It’s just…that sometimes everybody cries.” Her voice was a balm to his soul and he closed his eyes, glistening tears slipping from the corners of his eyes. She continued, her voice as soft as a gentle caress, “Outside the walls around us must be strong when you feel you can’t go on. Just remember, I’ll be there to greet you when you rise. It’s okay, sometimes everybody cries,” she reassured him.
Would she really still be there? He yearned to wake up one last time with her. He yawned sleepily and struggled against sleep. The thought that she might not be there made him fight against sleep.
Her voice echoed in his head. “Let the stars fall down over your head. Don’t you worry about the things you’ve seen. Just you drift away into the world behind your eyes. It’s okay, sometimes everybody cries. Sometimes everybody cries.”
He was fighting a losing battle. As he fell asleep he realized something that made him smile. She would be there when he woke. She’d always be there- in his heart. She wasn’t really dead, not as long as he was alive.
As his breathing evened Chloe pulled the blanket up to his chin and lightly brushed her lips against his. Then she faded away- gone but not forgotten.
End
Author: hurlingturtles
Rating: PG, I guess, but only because it deals with death and loss.
Disclaimer: I hate doing these, and never feel like being very creative with them. I guess I’ll just run through the same old song and dance- I don’t own any of these characters, I just make them do things they’d never do on the show.
Summary: This one’s a heart-breaker. Lex is having a difficult time dealing with Chloe’s death when her ghost appears to help him.
Notes: Chloe’s dialogue is loosely taken from the lyrics of a song called “Everybody Cries” by Jim Cuddy of a band called Blue Rodeo. It’s a beautiful song- download it.
Walking upstairs was a struggle, his feet unbearably heavy. His head felt light, his chest hollow. The mansion was overwhelmingly silent, broken only by the solitary clicking of his heals against the polished wood floor. He loosened his tie a little bit with trembling hands. The suit he wore was a ruthless black, the shirt underneath the jacket a stark white. His funeral armor.
The shirt almost matched his pasty complexion, contrasting with the violet circles under his eyes. He looked brittle, and felt it, too. Eating and sleeping had become impossible since the accident
He stood in the doorway of his bedroom, his eyes haunted with misery. Her things were still in his room. Gabe had come to collect them the other day, but Lex had refused to let them go.
He stood there, remembering…
* * * * * *
He’d come back home after hours of aimless driving, sick with the knowledge that she wouldn’t be there. As he walked upstairs he heard feet shuffle from the direction of his room. He ran to his room- his heart weeping with the hope that it would be her, his brain telling him that it was impossible.
He threw open the door. And there stood Gabe, pulling out one of her dresses and throwing it in a cardboard box. He remembered the last time she had worn it. She had told him that she was wearing it just for him, bending over just a little and giving him a magnificent view of her breasts with an impish grin. Fury burned in his chest at seeing it so casually discarded.
“What are you doing?” Lex demanded snatching up the dress. Seeing other clothes in the box, he overturned it on his bed.
“Taking her stuff.” Gabe tried to grab the dress from him. “You don’t need it, and I would like to have it. She’s my daughter- was my daughter.”
Lex wretched the dress away from him. “You can’t have her things! They’re mine!” He put the dress back on the hanger, lovingly smoothing out every wrinkle and pretending for a moment that she was wearing it, a knowing smile on her lips. “Leave,” he ordered tightly.
“But-“ Gabe protested.
“Leave or I’ll call the police.”
Gabe rubbed his forehead wearily. “Fine, but I’m coming back for her things at some point. I’ll get a court order if I have to.” He picked up the cardboard box and left.
* * * * *
Lex sat heavily on his bed and kicked off his shoes. Undressing took sometime, his long fingers fumbling with each button, each fold of his clothing. Finally, he lay on his bed, on top of the comforter, in his boxers and stared up at the ceiling. His eyes ached for sleep but every time he closed them she was there- touching him, laughing softly, moaning in delight. Chloe…
His heart ached in his chest as if it had been cleaved in two. The details of his room blurred together and tears filled his eyes. He grabbed the comforter and dragged it around him, making it a cocoon around him, as he shivered uncontrollably. Burying in his face in a pillow offered no consolation, it muffled the sobs that shook him but it smelled of her.
He pressed his face harder into the pillow, then harder still. It became difficult to breath and he pressed his face deeper into the pillow. His lungs burned from lack of oxygen and he started to feel like he was floating, numb to the agony. Visions of Chloe danced around him and he felt like she was there with him.
He felt a light, familiar touch on his shoulder and he jumped. Rolling over, his eyes snapped open and he gasped.
She was there. Kneeling bedside his bed, smiling lovingly.
Well, she was almost there. Her body shimmered, slightly transparent. She was ethereally beautiful. To him she looked perfect, but then she always had. Was she a ghost or some fantasy that his grief stricken mind had made real? Did it really matter? She was with him again
“Chloe,” he murmured, his throat aching as new tears gathered in his eyes.
She cupped his cheek and he swore he could almost feel the warmth of her skin.
“Close your eyes, my dear. There’s no need to wake. I wish I could take away the tears from your eyes. It’s just…that sometimes everybody cries.” Her voice was a balm to his soul and he closed his eyes, glistening tears slipping from the corners of his eyes. She continued, her voice as soft as a gentle caress, “Outside the walls around us must be strong when you feel you can’t go on. Just remember, I’ll be there to greet you when you rise. It’s okay, sometimes everybody cries,” she reassured him.
Would she really still be there? He yearned to wake up one last time with her. He yawned sleepily and struggled against sleep. The thought that she might not be there made him fight against sleep.
Her voice echoed in his head. “Let the stars fall down over your head. Don’t you worry about the things you’ve seen. Just you drift away into the world behind your eyes. It’s okay, sometimes everybody cries. Sometimes everybody cries.”
He was fighting a losing battle. As he fell asleep he realized something that made him smile. She would be there when he woke. She’d always be there- in his heart. She wasn’t really dead, not as long as he was alive.
As his breathing evened Chloe pulled the blanket up to his chin and lightly brushed her lips against his. Then she faded away- gone but not forgotten.
End