Learning To Breathe Again (R) Pt. 12 2/25/07

[Ann]

Learning To Breathe Again
Fic By Ann
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Smallville or it’s characters.
A/N: This is a response to a challenge issued by Angie284. This is only the first part of chapter 1. It got late and I didn't have time to finish it, but wanted to get this up.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

“It was a beautiful service.”

Chloe looked at Lois and nodded. “It was. He put a lot into making it perfect for her.”

“And he wasn’t even here to see it.” Lois noted as they walked to the parked vehicles lining the outer edge of the fence. “Has anyone seen him since she passed?”

“I’ve tried but he isn’t accepting visitors. I’m really worried about him.”

“Me too Clark. But not everyone deals with death the same way. Maybe seeing her friends is too much of a reminder of what he lost. Seeing us right now could just make things worse.”

“Yeah but Chloe, think about Aunt Ria and how she handled it when Uncle Ben died.”

“That was an extreme case Lois. Besides, Uncle Ben was murdered.”

“That doesn’t matter, death is death regardless of how it happens. Like with Lex, everyone just assumed she’d want to be left alone. She jumped off her apartment building Chlo.”

“I remember. Quite well, thank you. But if Lex isn’t allowing visitors what are we supposed to do? We can’t force him to let us in.”

“You’re right, we can’t. He hates me. But he likes you guys, and whether he accepts it or not, he needs someone he can talk to.”

“Lois he obviously wants to be left alone.”

“How do you know that? Maybe he’s waiting for someone to reach out to him.”

“Then he would have let Clark in. Why are you pushing this so hard?”

“Because I remember what it was like for dad after mom died. The only thing that kept him going was his friendship with the guys at the base. I swear there were times when I thought I was gonna lose him.”

“What are we supposed to do Lois? Tell him everything will be ok?”

“Yes, if that’s what he needs.”

“But that’s just it. We don’t know that it will be. He lost his wife. That’s a kind of pain that doesn’t just go away.”

“No it doesn’t, and it probably never will. But that doesn’t mean it can’t get better. Those kids need their dad Chlo. They already lost their mom. They shouldn’t have to lose their dad too because no one’s willing to help.”

“It isn’t that I’m not willing. If he needs my help, I’ll be there for him, no questions asked. But I just…” She paused, taking a deep breath. “I just don’t want to push him so hard that he snaps. I honestly don’t think he could take another mental breakdown.”

“But if he doesn’t talk to someone, that’s exactly what’s going to happen anyway. He’ll keep all of his emotions locked inside and they’ll build and build until he just explodes. Then the next time you see him, he’ll be in Belle Reve in a straight jacket and Alexander and Lily will be in foster homes. He needs you guys.”

Chloe always hated it when Lois was right, and this was no exception. Not because she wasn’t Lex’s friend or didn’t want to help him, but rather the complete opposite. She wanted to be there for him and help him deal with Lana’s death, but she didn’t want to make matters worse. If there was one thing Chloe was really good at, it was messing things up. Whether he wanted people to see it or not, Lex was fragile right now and there was only so much pushing he could take before he broke. She just hoped they could help him before that happened.

TBC…

[angie284]

:grin2: Is it to early to proclaim my love for you?
Oh well here I go :love2:. I'm sensing some angsty goodness ahead.

[Krysia]

This looks like it will be full of angst. Poor Lex I hope CHloe can help him.

[xxasaxx]

very interesting...can't wait to read more!

[persephone47]

who was his wife, what's going to happen, good start...

[angie284]

Figured I would post the challenge I issued and Ann was kind enough to take up. Hope thats ok.

120. Issued by angie284
So here goes my idea, a different take on the episode "Lexmas." An answer to the following questions that have been bouncing around in my head. What would happen if it wasn't a dream but a reality? How would Lex handle single fatherhood after Lana's death? How much help did Lex give Chloe with her upcoming book and what kind of relationship do they have?

Somethings I would like to see:

-A strong friendship between Lex and Chloe
-Martha Kent dispensing some motherly advice
-Some bonding between Chloe, Lex and the kids
-A slow build up to a romance (as much as I dislike Lana, Lex did just lose his wife)
-Some kind of confrontation between Lex and Lionel, possibly over the fallout of Chloe's book

[Ann]

Cool, thank you Angie! Next part will be up soon. :)

[Sandy]

The challenge looks interesting Angie. Ann, I can't wait to see what you come up with! And how things will turn out. PPMS! Are you still updating your other stories? ;)

[Ann]

((Yes, I am. I know it's been a while, and I apologize for that, but things have been pretty hectic. I'm halfway through my update for On Thin Ice and I just had an interview with a prison warden for Cage Of Deception. I hope to have them both up by the middle of the week.))

[Gaia]

You know-this needs to be updated. Honestly:D Pretty please

[Ann]

A/N: Hey guys! I know it's been a while since I've updated my fics, but I promise you I'm working on it and it will be soon. I just finished taking a 7 chapter test and have a 4 chapter one this week and am working on writing 3 term papers. I apologize greatly for the delay, but promise you that I have not forgotten about my fics and will have the next parts up hopefully this week (or next). Thank you all for reading and for being patient!

[Kit Merlot]

A/N: Hey guys! I know it's been a while since I've updated my fics, but I promise you I'm working on it and it will be soon. I just finished taking a 7 chapter test and have a 4 chapter one this week and am working on writing 3 term papers. I apologize greatly for the delay, but promise you that I have not forgotten about my fics and will have the next parts up hopefully this week (or next). Thank you all for reading and for being patient!


Okay Ann, I will try to be patient;)

But this fic is very cool, and I really want to know what happens next.

And good luck on your test/term papers!

[persephone47]

come back and update, I can't wait to see what Chloe does...

[angie284]

A/N: Hey guys! I know it's been a while since I've updated my fics, but I promise you I'm working on it and it will be soon. I just finished taking a 7 chapter test and have a 4 chapter one this week and am working on writing 3 term papers. I apologize greatly for the delay, but promise you that I have not forgotten about my fics and will have the next parts up hopefully this week (or next). Thank you all for reading and for being patient!

I guess we can all be patient a little longer :grin3: Hope things are going well for you.

[carebear72884]

Great story!!! I hate lexanna, but since the bitch is already dead maybe it will be ok. Just let chole help him get over her, very very quickly!!! More Soon!

[Nikiys]

when i read
the first part..
it seems interesting thoughh..

by the way..
it is a good story...

please update..

[angie284]

Hey Ann, hope everything went well with your test and term papers. Hopefully you have more time to relax now that summer is here. I'm anxiously anticpating the next part of this story. Once more great beginning.

[Ann]

Learning To Breathe Again
By Ann
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I own nothing related to or in any way tied into Smallville.

A/N: Sorry this has taken so incredibly long. Things have been pretty hectic. I am finishing the next parts to Cage Of Deception and On Thin Ice also so if you are reading those, it won’t be much longer I promise. Anyway, here is the second half of part 1. Thank you for your patience!

~*~

She honestly didn’t know why she was sitting in her car outside Lex’s house or why she let Lois talk her into this in the first place. Clark should be the one trying to cheer Lex up. After all, he was his best friend. But no, he and Lois just had to work this week, leaving Chloe as the sunshine committee president. Sometimes she questioned her decision to stay in Smallville.

But in all honesty, even if she had decided to move to Metropolis, she wouldn’t have been able to stay there this week knowing that Lex and the kids were alone. They may not have been as close of friends as he and Clark were, but they were friends none the less and she wasn’t that heartless. After all, Lex and the kids did just lose a wife and mother.

She had a terrible feeling that this was going to be like driving head on into a freight train without a seatbelt on though. With the frame of mind Lex was sure to be in, she would be lucky if there were any pieces of her left to collect by the time she left there today. This was so obviously a bad idea and yet she found herself opening the car door and getting out of her only means of escape. She knew she should feel guilty for even considering an escape route, but she knew what Lex’s temper was like and when he was grieving, that temper was bound to be at a boiling point.

“Get over yourself already.” She mumbled, shaking her head as she forced herself to the front door. “This is Lex, not the Grim Reaper.” Reaching her hand forward, she knocked loudly and waited. Why couldn’t all of this have waited for a time when Clark and Lois would be back in town? She knew she shouldn’t think that way and she felt guilty as hell for it, but she couldn’t seem to quelch the fear that something was seriously wrong on the other side of the door. The fact that no one was answering was doing nothing to soothe that fear either. Someone should have been there by now. Lex never waited this long to answer the door. What the hell was going on in there?

Fear and curiosity getting the best of her, she reached out and grabbed the doorknob. She knew there was no chance it would be unlocked but she had to try anyway. And much to her horror, it WAS unlocked. Something was seriously wrong with this picture and she was terrified to find out what that something was. But Lex was her friend and as much as she wanted to choke Lois right now, she was right. He and the kids needed her.

Pushing the door open, she slowly crept down the hallway, making her way to the room she was dreading the most. Lex’s office. If he was home, this was the room he would most likely be in. Forcing herself to open the door, Chloe was shocked to find the room completely empty, a discovery that did nothing but cause the fear to build even more. Making her way through the house, empty room after empty room, her body strongly protested, threatening to stop at any point regardless of what her mind told it. But she managed to continue, finding herself outside the last room in the house, even more terrified of what she would find on the other side of the door. Closing her eyes tightly, she slowly turned the knob and pushed the door open, her heart sinking at the sight before her. She expected to see him in a grieving state, yes, but she never expected this, nor had she wanted to.

Walking in, she was barely able to find any area of the floor to walk on that wasn’t covered with liquor bottles and pieces of what used to be furniture. Lex was slumped in the corner, elbows propped on his knees. His face was cupped in his hands. He was completely surrounded by empty tequila and scotch bottles and looked like he hadn’t changed clothes in days. Whatever she had been expecting to find when she got there, this was far worse. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to see that he had hit rock bottom.

“Go home Chloe.” He mumbled at a tone barely above a whisper.

“No.” She replied firmly, navigating through the mess and making her way to where he was sitting.

“Please just go home.”

“I’m not leaving until you…” She paused, eyes wide as a thought hit her. “Lex where are the kids? Please tell me they aren’t here to witness this.”

Lex shook his head slowly. “What does it matter? It’s not like they’re old enough to understand it anyway.”

“What does it matter?” She bellowed. “Lex look at you! When was the last time you’ve eaten or taken a shower? When was the last time you’ve gotten off of that floor? Lilly may not be old enough to understand this but Alex is certainly old enough to know his dad has fallen apart. Is this really an example you want to set for him? That if the going gets tough, the tough get drunk? Look, I know that you’ve been through a lot and you have more right than any of us to grieve Lana’s death, but if you keep this up, you’ll be the next one we’re burying. I’m not ready to lose you too! Nobody wants to lose you, but even if you don’t care what the rest of us think you need to consider your kids. Do you really think they want to watch you do this to yourself?”

“They’re with Gretchen.” He mumbled.

“For how long?” He didn’t answer. “How long Lex?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know? How can you not know how long your kids will be at the babysitters?”

“I didn’t ask.”

“Ugh!” She growled. “What’s her phone number? Or do you not know that either?” She walked over and started searching the top of the end table, hoping to find some way to contact Gretchen. At his lack of response, she looked back at Lex who was well on his way to falling asleep.

“Oh no you don’t!” She seethed, storming over and shaking his arm roughly, jarring him awake. “The number Lex, where is Gretchen’s phone number?”

He looked up at her, a puzzled look on his face. “Who?”

“Who? What the hell do you mean who? What in the hell is wrong with you? The babysitter Lex. Where is the number for the babysitter?”

“What babysitter?”

“What babysitter?” She was getting really tired of repeating herself. “The babysitter who has your kids! I know you’re drunk but I need you to focus. How can I get a hold of the babysitter?”

Again, he didn’t respond.

“You know what Lex? Never mind! I’ll find it on my own. Just stay here and I’ll be back.” Storming out of the room, she made her way back to Lex’s office and started to rummage through the papers on his desk. She was beyond pissed at this point and had half a mind to find the babysitter and leave Lex’s sorry ass to deal with this on his own. But she knew she couldn’t really blame him for the state of mind he was currently in. He had been to hell and back over the past few days and it was going to get worse before it got better. It was that fact that scared her the most. How bad was it going to get? One thing was for sure, the last thing he needed right now was to be left alone, which was what kept her searching for Gretchen’s phone number. It had to be here somewhere.

~*~

It had been one hell of a long day and it didn’t appear to be anywhere near over. Lex had lost track of all sense of time hours ago, hadn’t been to bed in three days, and was so beyond tired that he wouldn’t be able to sleep now if he wanted to. He could doze off for five or ten minutes but real sleep was so far out of his reach that he had given up all hope for it actually becoming a reality. The last thing he needed right now was company, which was why Chloe was currently on a wild goose chase for a phone number that was programmed into his phone.

He knew where his kids were. He was the one who called Gretchen in the first place and asked her to take them for the night. With his lack of sleep and the current condition he was in, he was in no shape to try to take care of Alex and Lilly. They would just end up suffering for it. He was responsible enough to know when his kids were in a situation they shouldn’t be in. The fact that he was the one who had put them in that situation to begin with didn’t exactly make him proud. He had spent the past three years trying to prove to himself and the rest of the world that he was no longer the person who would turn to alcohol or trouble when things went wrong and in one night, he managed to flush those three years down the toilet.

Lex didn’t want anyone to see him like this. He just wanted to be left alone. He knew that people were just trying to be comforting, but it wasn’t helping. The fact of the matter was that the only thing that would help now was the one thing that he could never have. She wasn’t coming back. Lex was smart enough to know that. Nothing would bring Lana back to him. And that was just something he wasn’t prepared to deal with. So becoming numb was the next best thing. But the problem with that was that no matter how much he drank, no matter how much he tried to escape it, he couldn’t seem to reach the point of numb. His wife, the only woman he ever really truly loved more than life itself was dead and the pain from that was still very much alive. Nothing would change that or make it better.

He closed his eyes in a futile attempt to drown out the memory of watching her life slip away in front of him, but the only thing that it succeeded in doing was making the room spin. Shaking his head, he forced himself off the floor, groaning at the pain of the straining muscles in his legs. He had sat in the same position for so long that his body would barely hold itself up, let alone move, but he had to get out of that room if it was the last thing he did. Staggering his way to the bathroom, he turned the faucet on and splashed a handful of cold water into his face, an act that turned out to be useless. He was exhausted, smelled like a brewery, and his head was pounding. No amount of water was going to fix that. Opening the medicine cabinet in front of him, he searched for something, anything that would make the pain go away, even if it was temporary. He just wanted it to end.

~*~

Chloe had been angry before, but now she was downright livid. The bastard knew that number was programmed on his phone, but could he tell her that? Hell no! He just let her go on some wild goose chase for a number she didn’t even need to find. And the worst part was that she actually fell for it. She knew how Lex was with Alex in the past, he would never send the kids with the babysitter and not know how to get a hold of her. He was too protective of them and too good of a father to do that. At this point she didn’t know whether her anger should be directed at Lex for pulling that act with her or at herself for believing it. Either way it pissed her off. She stomped all the way back to the living room where she had found him before, fully prepared to tell him exactly what she thought but found the room empty. She threw her hands up in the air and let out a deep breath. “Great, just what I need. To play hide and seek with a drunk man who doesn’t want to be found.”

Wandering through the house, she decided that she should just leave. It was obvious he didn’t want her there and she knew that the kids were safe for the night. She would just go and leave him alone for now and check back in the morning to see how he was doing. All she had to do now was find him to let him know she was leaving, which was turning out to be much more difficult than it should have been. “Lex?” She knew he wouldn’t answer, but something made her holler anyway. It was like having the chicken pox. You know when you have them that scratching will do no good but you can’t seem to stop yourself anyway. Great. Now she was comparing him to a skin rash. She really did need to get out of this house before things got worse.

Where the hell was he? “Hello, anybody home?” That was a dumb question. He damn well better be home as drunk as he was. She grinned, knowing exactly what to say that would get an immediate response. “Lex, if you don’t come out here right now I swear I’m going to tell everyone that you wear a pink tutu and dance around to I Am Pretty.” She rounded the corner and walked toward the bathroom. “I can see it now, Lex Luthor in a pi… ” Her smile turned to a look of anger as she made her way to where he lay in the middle of the bathroom doorway. This was just getting better and better. He couldn’t even manage to make it to the couch or a bed before passing out and she’d be damned if she was going to drag him to one. “Well, guess you’re gonna just have to sleep it off buddy cause if you think I’m moving you, you’re out of…” Bending over, Chloe picked up the object that caught her attention, panic flowing through her. This was bad, this was very bad.

She tried shaking him, splashing water on him, slapping him in the face. Nothing was working. “Lex damn it wake up!” She yelled, still getting no response. It didn’t take her long to figure out why. Running back into the living room, she grabbed the phone and dialed as quickly as she could.

“911, what’s your emergency?”

“Help me please, he isn’t breathing!”

TBC…

[angie284]

:eek: Leave it to Lex to take things to the extreme. Really glad you posted the second part. Can't wait to read the fall out.

[Gaia]

Finally a second part! Please keep them coming:)

[Baily007]

I just discovered this story and am totally intrigued by it.
And though I hate the idea of Lexana, even if it came to an end already, this plot definitly holds some potential. Great JoB!

[Skye]

Great start!! Can't wait to see what will happen next??

[starmoon]

interesting please continue i can't wait for more.

[LexGirl]

Wow! This story is so good! I feel so bad for Lex and how low he's feeling and I can feel for Chloe too. I think Lana's death is going to be a lasting thing and that Chloe's going to have her hands full. Great update! :)

[Ann]

A/N: Ok, finally got the next part finished. This was a very difficult part to write and took me quite a while to do it for that reason. I hope I did it justice.

Chapter 3

She hated hospitals. The plain white walls and smell of disinfectant and medical fluids was always enough to make her cringe. It was just so impersonal, so cold. Smallville General was particularly bad for that. The nurses were rude, there was no place to find coffee and you had to walk about two miles to find a bathroom. Ok so it was really just down the next hall but it seemed like two miles. The only good thing was that Dr. Albenston, the same doctor who delivered both of Lex’s kids, was on duty when they rushed Lex in.

“Having a bad day dear?” Chloe looked over to see a little old lady in a hospital gown looking at her. Her silver hair was pulled up into a tight bun and her walker was decorated with bright pink ribbon.

Smiling slightly, Chloe put down the magazine she’d been looking at. There was only so much she could read about Tom and Katie anyway. “You could say that.”

“He’s cute, your husband. Is he sick?”

“My husband?” Chloe’s eyes widened.

“The young bald man who came in with you.”

Chloe chuckled. “Lex? He’s just a friend. His um, his wife passed away three days ago.”

“Well that explains it then.”

“Explains what?”

“Well why he was drinking darlin’. But don’t worry dear, he’s gonna’ pull through just fine.”

“How do you know he was drinking?” Chloe asked, puzzled.

The older woman smiled. “How old do I look to you dear?”

Chloe raised an eyebrow. “Is that a trick question?” The woman smiled sweetly, not saying a word.

“I don’t know. Sixty-five?”

“You’re very sweet child, but 2006, August the fifteenth, I’ll turn one hundred and three years old. I’ve seen many people die from the same loneliness and self-hatred your friend feels. Don’t be too hard on him for what happened today.”

Chloe nodded, sadly. “I know he’s upset. I do. And I understand that. But we just buried one of my best friends. I really don’t want to lose him too, you know?”

“Have you told him that?” the older woman asked.

“I tried, but I don’t think he really heard me.” She looked down at her lap and began fidgeting with her fingers.

“He’s hurting right now but if there’s one thing he needs, it’s understanding. Your friends chose you for a reason dear. You’re the only one who can help him through this. But you must be willing to be patient. Getting angry or upset with him is only going to set him back. Remember Chloe, Lex needs a friend, not a warden.”

“How did you…?” Chloe scrunched her eyebrows when she looked up to realize that the older woman was nowhere to be seen. This was turning out to be a really weird day.

~*~*~*~

There really was no point in trying to pretend that none of it happened. They both knew differently, and beating around the bush wasn’t going to save him from her wrath. But her reaction to what happened was the least of his concerns. The truth of the matter was, he was embarrassed that she had been there to witness it. He hadn’t been trying to kill himself, as he knew it must have looked. He just wanted to sleep. Sleep away the memories and the emptiness. Sleep away the pain. He thought that maybe if he could just close his eyes for more than two minutes, he would realize it had all just been a bad dream and Lana wouldn’t really be gone. But he knew that was just wishful thinking and he had to face the fact that she wasn’t coming back.

“Hey.” Lex looked up to see Chloe standing in the doorway. “I just talked to the doctor. They’re signing your release papers as we speak.”

“I’m sorry Chloe. I didn’t…”

“Lex don’t. It’s not important.” Chloe said, effectively cutting him off mid-sentence. “I know the reasons for what happened and I also know that if I were in your position, I probably would have done the same thing. All that matters now is that you’re ok.”

He turned his head and looked out the window. “I don’t think I know what ok is anymore.”

“Neither do I, but eventually we will. We just need to stick together.”

“I don’t expect you to baby-sit me Chloe.”

“I’m not. I’m just trying to get through this the best way I know how.”

“Alright, you’re all signed out.” Dr. Albenston said, walking into the room. “I wrote you a prescription for a non-narcotic, non-habit forming sleep aid. You’ll need to take it at least thirty minutes before bedtime and make sure to eat something with it, even if it’s just a saltine. You were very fortunate today Lex. The mixture of sleeping pills and alcohol could be fatal and if Miss Sullivan hadn’t been there to react, you might not have made it. If you insist on drinking, then don’t take these pills. Also, I’ve written a list of grief counselors here at the hospital if you decide you’d like to talk to someone. They’re all very well experienced in this department and I believe could offer you a lot of insight. But you have to be willing to take that step.” He said, walking to the door.

Something about this just didn’t seem right. It was too soon and Chloe couldn’t let it happen without at least finding out why. “Dr. Albenston, I know I’m not a doctor, but Lex almost died. He stopped breathing twice on the way here. Isn’t it too soon for him to be released?”

Dr. Albenston nodded. “Yes, it is.” he said, frowning at Lex. “But unfortunately he signed a form stating that he was refusing to stay despite medical recommendation and we can’t force him to change his mind. My office, pager and cell phone numbers are all on the patient information sheet that you were just given a copy of. If anything else happens, don’t hesitate to call me.” The older man walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Slightly irritated that Lex would take that kind of risk with his health, Chloe put her hands on her hips. “Lex you can’t do th…”

“I want to see my kids Chloe.” Lex got off the small hospital bed, pulling his pants back on over his boxer shorts, and walked over to the closet to gather his belongings, ignoring the fact that he had yet to put his shirt back on. “It’s time Alex knew the truth.”

“You haven’t told him yet?” Chloe asked quietly as she plopped down in the chair next to the bed, shuttering slightly at the thought. With everything that had happened, she hadn’t even thought about Lex having to tell Alexander about his mom’s death or how it would effect both of them. She remembered how hard it was for her own dad to tell her when her mom left and how it took him nearly two hours to get the words out because he was trying to fight back his own feelings of hurt and betrayal long enough to actually say them. She couldn’t even imagine how difficult it would be for Lex.

“I tried. Right after it happened. But nothing I could think of to say seemed right. How am I supposed to give him answers that I don’t even have myself?” Walking back to the window, Lex looked out at the speeding traffic on the road below. Everything looked so small and insignificant from the third story room.

“You can’t. The most you can do is tell him the truth, the parts you do know, and make sure he knows how much you love him. He needs to know you’ll be there for him and that no matter what, you’re not going to give up. The same goes for Lilly. She may be too young to remember her mom, but babies can sense when something’s wrong, and right now she really needs to feel that bond with you. If she senses you pulling away from her, it could cause a lot of problems later on.”

“I’m not trying to pull away from my kids Chloe, I’m just trying to get through this. But damn it, I’m not perfect.”

“Nobody expects you to be perfect Lex, or to just pretend like nothing happened. It doesn’t work that way. This is something that will probably take years to really work through. I understand that, and I’m not pushing you. All I’m getting at is that you and your kids are a family and you have to stick together and help each other through it or you’re all going to fall apart.”

Chloe stood and walked over to Lex, putting her hand on his shoulder. “There is nothing wrong with grieving. It’s a natural response to what happened and I would honestly be very concerned if you weren’t going through it. But there’s nothing wrong with healing either. And when the time does come and you are able to heal, I don’t want you to feel guilty for that. That’s not what Lana would want for you either.”

They had fallen into a brief silence, neither of them knowing what else to say when there was a light knock on the door. The nurse opened it slightly, making sure to respect Lex’s privacy by not looking. “You ready to go Mr. Luthor?”

~*~*~*~

Chloe spent the entire cab ride back to Lex’s house hoping that she hadn’t crossed the line at the hospital. She had only been trying to help, but sometimes what one person perceived as help, was anything but. She learned that when her mom left and everyone kept trying to tell her it would be ok, a gesture she grew to loathe as time went by. It was for that very reason that she refused to tell Lex that it would be ok. Things were a long way from being ok for him and she didn’t want to fill him with a bunch of empty words. She just hoped he didn’t resent her for that.

By the time they got back to the house, Gretchen and the kids were waiting on the front porch. At Lex’s request, Chloe had called her from the hospital before they left. And judging by the look on her face, the call had not been appreciated. She looked tired and slightly concerned. But more than anything, she looked angry. Lex paid the driver and got out of the cab, Chloe following closely behind. She had a feeling that this wasn’t going to turn out a nice visit.

Pulling the keys from his pocket, Lex held it out to his son. “Alex, go on in and find your cartoons.”

“I don’t want to watch TV. I wanna play out here.” Alex whined.

“I didn’t ask if you wanted to. I said go.” Lex said firmly, as a pouting Alexander took the key and unlocked the door.

“Hey Alex, do you have any Lego’s? I’m really in the mood to build something.” Chloe said, smiling at the young boy.

“Really?” Alexander asked, his face lighting up in a great big grin. Chloe nodded. “Really.”

“Cool!” Chloe looked back at Gretchen and smiled slightly. “Would you like me to take her?”

“Whatever.” The woman grumbled, handing Lilly over to Chloe.

“Do you like G.I. Joe?” Alexander asked, peeking his head out the door, excitement brimming in his voice.

“I was really more of a Cabbage Patch Kid person myself. I kinda have a problem with dolls who are bigger chested than I am. But, I’ll let it pass just this once.” Chloe grinned, as she took the kids inside.

Twenty minutes later, Lex came in the room to find Lilly sleeping on Alexander’s bed and Alexander riding on Chloe’s back as she ran around the room on all fours, dangling her tongue and stopping occasionally to “wag her tail”. If things hadn’t been so bad at the moment, he probably would have found it quite entertaining. But to see his son laughing and having so much fun, and to know that he was about to be the reason for why the little boy’s smile would soon become a very heartbreaking look of despair, was enough to make any entertaining moment look anything but.

“Chloe.” Chloe stopped moving and looked over at Lex. “Let me up a minute squirt.” She said, waiting for Alex to get up before getting off the floor and walking to the doorway.

“Gretchen just quit.”

“Why?” Chloe asked, eyebrows furrowed.

“She said she refuses to work for a man with a death wish.” Lex mumbled.

“I’m sorry Lex. I guess it’s probably hard for some people to understand everything that’s happened.”

Lex nodded, looking over at Alexander who was studiously watching Lilly sleep and giggling at the slobber bubbles that formed around her tiny little mouth as she breathed. “I hate to ask you this…?

“You don’t need to. I’m just going to put Lilly to bed and walk out back for a little while. I’ll have the baby monitor so if she wakes up I’ll hear her. Take your time.”

Lex nodded. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Picking up Lilly, Chloe walked out of the room and took her to the nursery.

~*~*~*~

Alexander watched Chloe walk out of the room with Lilly and looked over at Lex who was sitting on his bed.

“Hey daddy, can we pick some flowers for mommy so she’ll feel better? She likes the daddylions the best.” The young boy frowned as he watched his dad sadly look down at the floor. “What’s da matter daddy?”

Lex looked up into the face of his son, who was so looking at him so intensely that he nearly chickened out. But this had to be done. The boy had a right to know the truth, even if he himself didn’t want to face it.

“Come sit down here.” He said, patting the spot next to him on the bed. Walking over, Alex hopped up on the bed and reached his hand up to Lex’s cheek. “Daddy?”

“I know you want mommy to come home Alex.” Lex took a deep breath and swallowed back the lump that had formed in his throat. “But she can’t.”

“Why not?” Alex asked, his boyish features suddenly looking very distressed. “Did I do somefin wrong? ”

“What?” Lex asked, turning to face his son.

“Is mommy mad at me? Is that why she won’t come home? I want her to come home daddy. I promise I’ll be better!” It was all Lex could do to keep from breaking down as his son began to cry. Of all the possible scenarios that had played through his mind, this was not among them. He had never expected, nor wanted the boy to blame himself for Lana’s death.

“Alex, you didn’t do anything wrong. This is not your fault.”

“Then why won’t she come home? I want mommy to come home”

Lex nodded. “I want mommy to come home too. But she can’t.”

“Why?” The little boy sobbed, tears flooding out of his big blue eyes as he wiped his nose with his sleeve.”

“Do you remember your goldfish Fred?” Lex asked.

“He died.” Alex said between sniffles.

Lex nodded. “Do you remember what mommy and I told you when Fred died?”

“You said he went to heaven. Why?”

“Mommy told you that Fred was up in heaven swimming with all the other fish and smiling because he knew you loved him so much. Remember?” Alexander nodded.

“Alex, mommy died. It isn’t that she doesn’t want to come home to us. She can’t.”

“Mommy died?” Alex whimpered.

Lex nodded. “But right now, she’s flying with the rest of the angels, and looking down at you and smiling because she always knew how much you loved her. And she loved you more than anything in the world.” Lex’s voice cracked as the emotions threatened to spill out. He was hanging by a thread and knew that Alex could see it. A fact that was well proven when Alex jumped off the bed and ran to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Lex sat there for what seemed like an eternity wondering if he had done the right thing by explaining things the way he had. Somehow he was severely doubtful. His son had always looked at him as a hero. Some hero he was now. They had to figure out a way to get through this. They had to.

~*~*~*~

Chloe found herself sitting on her knees out in the middle of Lana’s flower garden. Lana always loved this place. She had the flowers laid out in perfect rows with the biggest ones in the back and the smallest ones in the very front. Sunflowers, tulips, daisies. They all had their place and there wasn’t so much as a blade of grass between them. Chloe had always wondered how she kept it looking so perfect while chasing a five year old little boy around, but that was just Lana, queen of the green thumb.

Hearing a door slam Chloe flinched, knowing that Lex and Alexander must be going through hell right now. She couldn’t even begin to imagine how that conversation went, but she knew it had to have been very difficult. She found herself staring at the weeping willow tree in the back of the garden as a tear rolled down her face.

“Do you even see what you’re doing to that man?” She hissed as the wind blew the branches around. “He’s a wreck Lana. He’s completely falling apart! And look at your kids. Your family needs you and what do you do? You take the easy way out! How is that fair to them?

I mean my gosh, do you even realize what you had? You had a family Lana. You had two beautiful children and a great husband who loves you more than life itself. You had what every woman alive wants. You had it all. I just don’t understand how you could leave them. How do you just leave a life like that? And do you know what else I hate? I hate that even though you’ve been gone for three days, you’re still all everyone can talk about!

I am so sick of living in your shadow. I’m sick of getting pushed aside while everyone flocks to you with their ‘oh poor Lana’ attitude. I am sick and tired of always being second best. Do you have any idea how it feels to be having a meaningful conversation with someone one minute and have them ignore you the next because someone prettier walks in the room?

Or to watch someone else get everything else you’ve always wanted without even trying? Do you know how many nights I cried myself to sleep because of yet another dream shattered? Of course you wouldn’t because there’s no one more perfect than Lana Luthor! When is it going to be my turn? When am I ever going to have the perfect man flock to me because I’m the most beautiful woman in the room? When am I actually going to mean something to someone?

You know I swore I wouldn’t do this. That I wouldn’t break down or let my resentment out. But I guess it’s just too many years of being nothing more than a glorified rock to those who are supposed to care about me the most. I am so tired of never being good enough!”

“She never saw you that way.” Chloe turned her head quickly to see Lex standing behind her. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she stood up and shook her head.

“Man Lex, I’m sorry. You must think I’m a horrible person yelling at her like this. I guess I didn’t realize I still harbored so much anger.”

Lex walked over and sat on the cement bench at the side of the garden. “You know right after my mom died, I couldn’t…I couldn’t wrap my mind around her being gone. I was so angry at her for getting cancer and leaving me alone with my father that I would close myself in the attic and try to hide from the rest of the world. But my father refused to really let me mourn her death.”

“Luthor’s aren’t supposed to feel.” Chloe nodded, rolling her eyes.

“That was his way of reasoning anyway. But one day he went to Wichita on official LuthorCorp business and left me with a babysitter who was more busy making out with her boyfriend than paying attention to where I was. So I took advantage of that fact and walked out into the garden where my mother’s grave is. For hours I just sat there staring at the headstone, angry at how little it said about her. It was an injustice to have her entire life summed up to four words that just didn’t seem like enough.”

“What did it say?” Chloe asked, sitting next to him on the bench.

“Beloved wife and mother. It seemed so basic and cheap. So impersonal. The longer I stood there, the more the anger that had I had been holding onto continued to build and build until finally I just couldn’t hold it in anymore and I exploded. I yelled things at her that I never realized I felt. Things that no nine-year-old should ever feel. I loved her more than I had ever loved anyone before and yet I hated her.”

“Why?” Chloe whispered.

“I hated her for not leaving my father when he would hit her like a stray dog. I hated her for getting sick and giving up on herself. But most of all, I hated her for leaving me. But after about twenty minutes of yelling, I realized that my anger was misdirected. I had spent the whole time hating her for things that she had no control over. Once I realized that, I began to hate my father even more for everything he had ever put her through and myself for being so damn selfish and blaming her.”

“You were nine years old Lex. It’s normal to feel that way as a kid.”

“Yes it is. Just as it’s normal to feel that way as a twenty-five year old who’s always been made to feel like second best.” Chloe looked down at the ground.

“Lex I’m..”

“I saw the way everyone treated Lana, Chloe. And I’ve seen how they treat you. You didn’t say anything tonight that was unjustified. But no matter how Clark and the other miscreants of this town have treated you in the past, Lana never saw you as being second best to her.

“How can you be so sure of that?” Chloe asked, barely above a whisper.

“Because she told me. You were the best friend that she had Chloe. She always looked up to you.”

“Me? Why?”

“You’re smart. When people need something, they run to you because you can accomplish a lot without even having to think about it. They don’t second guess you because they know that you’re right.” Lex said as he stood and walked over to the greenhouse.

“You had so many opportunities to do things that she had to give up when she married me and got pregnant with Alexander. Things she never thought she’d be able to do. She felt trapped and to be honest, she envied you. You signified everything that she wanted but I couldn’t give her and whether she ever told you or not, she was proud of you.” He looked to the side as a tear ran down his cheek. Doubling up his left fist, he sent it through the glass window of the greenhouse, shattering the glass.

Chloe flinched as she ran over to where he was standing. “Lex?”

“I don’t think I can do it Chloe. How am I supposed to go on without her?” He sobbed, trying not to make eye contact. “How am I supposed to raise my kids without her? How do I go on knowing that she isn’t going to be there to help sooth Alex or Lilly when one of them has a bad dream or someone says something mean to them?” Chloe couldn’t hold back the emotions anymore. The tears began flowing again as she watched one of her closest friend’s break down.

“I can’t do it. I can’t. I don’t understand why this had to happen to her. What did I do wrong? What did I do so wrong that she had to be taken from us?”

“You think this is your fault? Lex, you didn’t do anything wrong. You are not being punished!”

“Then tell me Chloe why I’m here and my wife isn’t. Why is the one woman who I loved more than anything gone? It shouldn’t have happened to her. She shouldn’t be dead. Damn it, it should have been me!” He yelled. He continued to sob for what seemed like hours, days of emotions finally coming out. When he started to calm some, Chloe managed to help him back to the house. It took a bit of work, but she was finally able to get him to lie down on the couch in the den. As long as he had gone without sleep, she knew it would only take a matter of minutes before he dozed off.

Sitting on the coffee table in front of him, Chloe reached over and pulled the blanket that was draped over the back of the couch on top of him. “You were wrong when you said that Lana felt trapped. She didn’t. She was a beautiful woman Lex with a heart of gold who could have had anything she wanted. But she didn’t choose Paris, or Mel Gibson, or some high filutent career. She chose you. You made her happier than all of those things put together ever could have and she loved you. Nothing could compare to that. Don’t ever think that Lana wanted something else in her life when the truth is that you and Alexander were her life.”

“Thank you Chloe.” Lex whispered, just before falling into the recesses of sleep.

“You’re welcome.” There was without a doubt a long road ahead of them. But somehow, in time, they were all going to make it.

TBC…

[biscuits]

Heartwrenchingly well written and defintely worth the wait. Though that doesn't mean I want another few months before the next installment. Looking forward to more.

[hellinean]

It is a beautiful story.. a sad oone but very beautiful!
i love how you write the pain of chloe and lex.
I 'd lve that you write mre about it, i mean hw the children and how chlex will survided to it and how chloe and lex 'll fell in love :)
please write more, you cant let a s great story like this :)

[angie284]

Heartwrenchingly well written and defintely worth the wait. Though that doesn't mean I want another few months before the next installment. Looking forward to more.

Umm...bistcuits stole my words ;) . Ok, that's a lie, but I wholeheartedly agree.

Gahh my heart just hurts for Lex. I'm glad to see Chloe finally let loose her built up frustration. Talk about the grass always being greener on the other side. Excellent update. Hope to see more soon.

[buffiy18]

Good story... this chapter made me cry/ u[date soon.

[supervixen]

oh wow tre amazeing

[Ann]

Learning To Breathe Again
Part 4
Rating: R


Chloe knew that the only reason she was able to get Lex back to the house and to sleep as quickly and easily as she did was because the medication the doctor gave him had finally kicked in. She also knew that his breakdown in the yard was probably the last time he would open up about his feelings. At least for a while. Lex had never been one to wear his heart on his sleeve and that sure as hell wasn’t going to change now. Not that she had expected it to. It took more than one tragedy to change thirty-one years of behavior. Even if the tragedy was as bad as losing Lana had been for Lex. But still, she felt like she was failing him somehow. Like he needed far more than she could ever offer him and her mere presence was just making things worse instead of better. She couldn’t seem to shake the feeling that Lana was still there, in the house, and frowning at Chloe’s lacking effort to support the family she left behind. Maybe she was. Maybe she was looking down at her and wondering why she was even attempting to help pick up the pieces. After all, she could never measure up to the life that Lana had created for Lex and the kids. She wouldn’t want to. But what if she was doing more damage than good? Could Lex really take anymore bad in his life?

She really hated feeling like she was playing Suzie homemaker where she didn’t belong. Her main reason for even going to Lex’s house was to help him out, but did he really even need her there or was she just fooling herself into believing that someone actually did need her for more than just research? No. This wasn’t about her and she’d be damned if she was going to sit there and continue to question her reasons. It was time to just go home. There wasn’t anything else she could do right then anyway. Lex had been asleep for about an hour, Alex was taking his nap and Lilly hadn’t woken up since before the incident in the yard. She had picked up the house and just spent the rest of the time basically staring at her fingernails trying to figure out why she was still there. It was almost four o’clock in the afternoon and she couldn’t even take the pleasure of watching Jerry Springer for fear that she might enjoy something more than she should. It wasn’t right to laugh in the living room of your dead best friend just days after she passed away.

Chloe stood up and walked a few feet to the entertainment center that was decorated with pictures that Alex had drawn. Little hand paintings and macaroni murals adorned the wooden shelves so completely that it almost appeared that they part of the structure. But that wasn’t what had caught her eye. Reaching her hand out, she picked up the silver colored picture frame and ran her fingers over the picture that it held. They all looked so happy in the picture, Lana sitting beside Lex, and Alex with his head laying on both of their touching shoulders. It was beautiful how comfortable they all looked together, like nothing could ever tear them apart.

Hearing the sudden loud ring of her cell phone, Chloe jumped slightly and placed the picture back on the shelf. Wiping the tears from her cheeks, she grabbed her purse from the floor and pulled the offending device from the front compartment. Checking the caller ID, she pushed the answer button and put it up to her right ear. “What’s up Lo?”

“Hey cuz. You sound funny, were you asleep?”

“No, actually I was just getting ready to head home. Everyone else is sleeping and there really isn’t anything I can do right now.”

“Well I hate to rain on your picnic, but I don’t think you’re going anywhere for a while.”

“Why not?” Chloe asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Have you looked outside lately? The radio just said that Smallville is under a blizzard warning and will be for the next several days. You might want to just kick back and get comfy cause I think you’re gonna be stuck for the weekend.”

“Great. That would be just my luck.”

“Well look at it this way, it’s not like you had an exciting weekend planned anyway.” Lois joked.

“Oh thanks, just remind me of my lack of a social life.”

“Well I guess you could always spend it following Smallville around like a little lost puppy with no bone. Oh wait, you do that every other day.”

“You’re not helping Lois.”

“Hey, just trying to give you a little perspective on the situation. Besides, I was just repeating something Clark told me two days ago.”

“It’s been duly noted.” Chloe bit back impetuously.

“I was just joking Chlo.”

“Did it ever occur to you that maybe I’m not really in a joking mood? One of my best friends is dead Lois. Her family is falling apart and all you can do is joke about Clark and me? I think maybe you’re the one that needs to put things into perspective right now.”

“Maybe you’re right Chloe. Maybe that’s exactly what I need because I’ve got to tell you, when I heard that you sounded upset, I thought maybe, you might just need some cheering up. But apparently, you’re far more comfortable drowning in your own sorrows to accept a little bit of help from someone else who cares about you, because heaven forbid you might actually have to feel something besides anger, resentment and sorrow.”

“You know what Lois? The next time you get the urge to call me, don’t!” Chloe hung up the phone feeling like she’d been kicked in the gut. Of all the people that she considered herself to be the closest to, she certainly wouldn’t have expected that kind of a reaction from Lois.

She walked back over and plopped down on the couch, allowing the self-doubt to flood over her again. It seemed to her as if nothing she could do would ever be right by everyone. To this point, her life had mostly consisted of wrong turns and bad choices and now that she was supposed to be focusing on Lex and the kids, she couldn’t help but think about her relationship with Clark, or lack there of. Maybe she had leaned on him too much, but it was only because she felt like she could depend on him. But now she was even beginning to wonder if that had been a huge mistake. It seemed like all it ever did was come back and bite her in the ass.

“You’re going to get wrinkles if you don’t quit frowning all the time.” Chloe turned her head sharply at the sound of the soft voice, her breath catching in her throat at the site before her.

“Lana?” She asked, jumping up and shaking her head wildly. There was no way she was seeing what she thought she was. Either that, or she was completely out of her noodle.

The young brunette laughed. “Relax Chloe. You’re not losing your mind. I really am here. And I promise I won’t bite.”

Chloe’s first instinct was to walk over and hug the girl, but happiness was not an emotion she would allow herself at the moment. “You must hate me right now.” She said, sadly.

“Why? Because you finally said what you thought? Chloe, the only thing I ever asked for was for people to tell me the truth. I’m just sorry that I ever made you feel like you weren’t good enough or like you weren’t important. That couldn’t be any further from the truth. You meant the world to me. And to Lex.”

Chloe knew that her mind was severely clouded because there was no way in hell she was really having this conversation with her dead friend. But she felt a compulsion to talk to her anyway, even if she didn’t really exist. Maybe that made her crazy or just really, really lonely, but either way, it seemed to offer some, if not a whole lot of comfort.

“I really don’t know what I’m doing Lana. I don’t know how to help him.”

“You already have. I don’t even want to consider what would have happened to him if you hadn’t been here today. You’ve done more for him and the kids than you can even imagine, and I’m so grateful for that. All I have ever wanted was for him and the kids to be happy. I can’t offer that for them anymore. But you can. Look, I know it’s a lot to ask, but I really need you to be there for them Chloe. They’re going to need you.”

“What if I mess up and make things worse?” Chloe asked, still flooded with doubt.

Lana smiled. “You won’t. I trust you Chloe. I know you can do it, and if you really look within yourself, so do you.”

“But what if I can’t be what they need?” She asked, sitting back down on the couch.

“Chloe?” Startled, Chloe looked up to see Lex standing in the doorway where Lana had just been. Or at least where she thought Lana had been. “Who are you talking to?”

“No one. Just myself. I do that sometimes.” She smiled weakly.

Lex nodded and sat on the couch next to her. “You know sometimes it feels like Lana’s still with us. And other times it feels like she’s been gone for years. Last night I could have sworn she was with me. Like she’d never really left. I spent two hours talking to the wall before I realized that she wasn’t really there.” Lex looked down at the hardwood floor, remembering the day, just three weeks ago, that they finally pulled the old orange shag carpeting out. Lana hated that carpet and had begged Lex for weeks to pull it out, stating that her very sanity depended on it. Now he was beginning to wonder if his sanity could deal with the loss. “I don’t want to let her go.” He said almost to quietly to be heard.

Chloe nodded, not knowing what else to say at that moment. “Neither do I.”

“Look Chloe, I appreciate your help here today, but I really don’t expect you to put your life on hold for us. I’m sure there’s somewhere else you’d rather be.”

Chloe huffed slightly. “I don’t exactly have the most exciting life right now Lex. My biggest project is my next book and I can write that anywhere. Besides, even if I did have somewhere else to be, I wouldn’t go.”

Lex shook his head slightly. “We aren’t your responsibility Chloe. Don’t let us hold you back.”

“No Lex, I mean I wouldn’t be able to go. We’re in the middle of a blizzard. Looks like I’m in for the long haul. But you aren’t holding me back. I want to be here with you and the kids.”

Clearly giving up, Lex stood and looked at her. “My bedroom is down the hall. I’m sure you’ll be more comfortable there than on the couch. I’m going to sleep in with Alex.”

“Lex, I don’t want you giving up your bedroom just because I’m here. It’s not right.” Chloe argued, not feeling comfortable with the concept of taking over his bedroom.

“I haven’t been able to go in there since Lana died. I just can’t make myself do it. Alexander has bunk beds so I’ve been sleeping in with him for the past several days. There are extra blankets in the closet at the end of the hall if you get cold.”

“Okay, thank you. Hey, how’s the hand?” Chloe asked, looking at the bandage wrapped tightly around his large fingers and palm.

“It hurts like hell, but it could have been worse. Thank you for wrapping it.” He replied with a strained expression on his face that Chloe recognized immediately.

“Lex, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable around me. You know what happened earlier is nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Goodnight Chloe.” Lex said quietly as he turned and disappeared down the hall.

“Great, way to go Chloe. Why don’t you just make him more uncomfortable than he already is?” Chloe reprimanded herself. “Lex?” She said, hoping he would still be able to hear her.

“What is it Chloe?” He asked, stepping back into the doorway.

“I know it’s not the same, but I am here if you need someone to talk to.”

“I know.” Lex replied dimly. “But I’m not really ready to discuss it right now.”

“Well whenever you are, you know where to find me. I may not be Lana, but I’m a hell of a good friend and you can always tell me anything.”

Lex nodded and walked back down the hall to his young son’s room. Chloe sat back down and tried to remember the last time when she was really happy about anything in her life. Sadly, she couldn’t remember. It had been so long since she was truly happy that she couldn’t even recall what she had been happy about. She had been thrilled when she found out that her book was getting published, but as with every other time she was excited about something, it had a huge gray cloud hanging over it. She knew that Lionel would be angry about her writing an exposé about LuthorCorp and all the ruthless acts that kept the plant open, but she hadn’t really prepared herself for the wrath of one very pissed off man with all the power in the world to destroy her. And he had done just that. In less than twenty-four hours, she’d lost her job, her apartment, and her best friend. Of course Lana’s death hadn’t been completely Lionel’s fault, but his refusal to help when Lex begged him to, made the difference between Lana’s death and her still being with them. And it was something that Chloe didn’t think she would ever be able to forgive Lionel for. He may not have pulled the plug himself, but when he knew that the only way she would survive was with his help, and he refused to step up, then he killed her without even thinking twice and she would not rest until he paid for it.

Happy was just not something that Chloe even recognized anymore. The fact of the matter was that her and Lex had both been through their share of hell the past few weeks with no sign of anything better in sight. Chloe took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. “Looks like it’s going to be a very long road for both of us.” She whispered to herself, hoping that eventually they would both be able to heal. In more ways than one.

TBC…

[Gaia]

An update and a great one at that:D keep them coming:)

[Baily007]

Happy was just not something that Chloe even recognized anymore. The fact of the matter was that her and Lex had both been through their share of hell the past few weeks with no sign of anything better in sight. Chloe took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. “Looks like it’s going to be a very long road for both of us.” She whispered to herself, hoping that eventually they would both be able to heal. In more ways than one.

TBC…

AMEN to that!

Yay, you updated! Fantastic chapter - please keep 'em coming!

[channytell]

love this story cant wait for more
xoxox

[Alizaleven]

This update was incredible!!! I love the story, thanks so much :D Keep the new stuff coming hehehe

[gravelgerdie]

Ohhh this is good.. I can't wait for another update:)

[xxasaxx]

can't wait for more!

[Ann]

A/N: Great news guys! My sister and fellow member Angie is going to take over this fic. I have gone to writing strictly original fiction but didn't want to see it die and I know she will do it proud. A new part should be up pretty soon. Thank you all for continuing to be patient, and thank you Angie for taking it over. :)

[LexGirl]

You are very welcome, Ann! :) Thank you for all that you've said and for asking me to continue it...:) I only hope that I can do as good a job as you have thus far! :) I wish everyone a Merry Christmas and will try to have a part up very soon to this story! :)

[Kit Merlot]

How did I miss this update?!

Good for Chloe for choosing to help Lex and his kids after Lana's death. And I know that Lois can sometimes be too blunt, but I really think she was just trying to help.

And I think it is extremely cool that Ann's sister Angie is going to be continuing this excellent fic:D

[LexGirl]

Okay, here is the next chapter...I hope that I do it justice for Ann and for all of you! :)

Learning to Breathe Again
Started by: Ann; Continued by: Angie
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Rating: R
Chapter Five

Refusing to go into Lex’s bedroom since it was too much his and Lana’s old space, Chloe pulled out the hide-a-bed from the living room couch, then climbed inside the blue blankets to get warm. Chloe discovered that being in the Luther Farm on a snowy night was a chilly experience. Climbing from her bed, she walked over to the fireplace and taking a skill she’d learned at eleven from watching dad when they’d gone camping, Chloe lit the fireplace to get some heat into the living room. “Ahh…” Chloe muttered aloud, glad to feel warm and not freezing, she stood next to the stony fireplace for a few moments before going back to the blankets in the bed.

As soon as she sat down, Chloe glanced around her and saw a structure of a home that had been built long before and had held strong by love. Love from the people who lived here before Lex and Lana had bought the place and then love after they moved in as a married couple. Chloe saw pictures on the walls that she knew. She’d seen them before; she’d been here when Lana had put them up. Now, thinking about Lex lying probably very awake in a bunk bed upstairs, grieving horribly over his wife’s death left Chloe feeling very hollow with a deeply painful heart of her own.

At the sound of Lilly crying, Chloe quickly moved out of the bed and hurried up the stairs. She didn’t contemplate why she heard the sound of little Lilly’s awakening. She just moved. Chloe had seen this room many times since Lana had invited her over and asked Chloe’s thoughts on what looked the best where. Which cartoons Lilly might like over others – they’d picked Peanuts. She knew the room very well. Yet despite all the time she’d come by and all the hours she’d helped Lana with painting and hanging, setting up stuffed animals, the sight of this room now was heart wrenching. Lana wasn’t here. She wasn’t able to smile and see just how adorable the room looked or how sweet her angel looked inside the wooden crib with Peanut character blankets. Chloe broke into tears as she picked up little Lilly and crying with her, she walked over to the chair. After some time was past, she realized that Lilly needed a diaper change and changed her then kissing her and rocking her tenderly, she put her back to bed. Lilly was a beautiful baby and being her caregiver was the best thing that Chloe could want. But somehow the pain just was too sharp to tuck away. Instead, she walked back by where Lex and Alex were sleeping. To top off the night and how horrible that Chloe felt, she got to hear Lex sympathetically talking with Alex, telling him that things would get better, in time. As Chloe looked at the empty hallway and felt the chill of the blizzard hitting the house, she solemnly slid down to the floor, wondering if it was really true. Could things get better? Or were they all just hoping for something that wasn’t possible…

The next morning, Chloe bundled up in the winter coat she wore over here last night. Spotting Lex fixing Alex cereal and then feeding little Lilly in her highchair, Chloe smiled. He was pretty good at being a dad. Several times during the night Chloe had overheard Lex coming downstairs, warming bottles and taking them and Lilly to the next room to feed her. Chloe imagined that he was just as busy with Alex. Lana’s passing had just been announced and the kids were both too shocked to really deal with it yet. Alexander didn’t say a word to Chloe about it, though he did give her a glare as she spotted him coming downstairs a half an hour ago. He blurted out, “Why are you here?”

Chloe felt the hurt and the anger from his eyes and his frown. This was a switch. He’d played with Chloe for hours yesterday – but that was long before the news about finding out his mommy wasn’t coming home anymore. Now that that was the case things were different. He was angry and hurt and afraid. Chloe was about to reply when he added, “You were mommy’s friend. Are you why she’s not here?”

Chloe said assuredly, “No, Alex…I didn’t cause your mommy to go away.” How could a five-year-old kid cause her to feel so gut-wrenchingly awful? There was nothing Chloe could do to bring Lana back or to make Alex stop hurting. Not today.

Lex walked in whispered an I’m Sorry to Chloe, then bending down he looked up at his son and said, “Let’s go get some breakfast, Alex.”

Alex put his arms around Lex and cried hard. Lex held him back and cried a little with him. Chloe walked into the living room and put her bed back into a couch, crying herself…

Hours later as Alex played inside with his G.I. Joe’s with Chloe once again and Lilly napping in her crib, Lex stepped onto his porch, looking at the drifts that were piling. He saw the snow that continued to fall. He could see from where he stood the barn of the Kent’s and their yellow two-story farmhouse. Sharecroppers for the past five years, Lex and Jonathan often visited one another and had become very close since Lex’s choice to leave his father and his crooked lifestyle.

They had had good years and bad years of crops, but what it had taught Lex was the value of working hard and feeling that he earned every bit of what he got. It was a great feeling and even now, while he grieved over Lana, just looking at the land whitened by snow, he felt a farmer’s pride. To think he could feel anything positive after her recent death had him wondering why. Guilty instantly from the good thoughts, he felt the brittle ice and snow hitting him in the face. He felt the hard winds shaking him from their strength. It’s payment for your moment of pride, thinking that you actually accomplished an ounce of it by yourself, Lex thought as he walked back into the house and shut the door. Nothing that was on this farm was done alone by Lex Luthor. In fact he felt that a good part of it was thanks to Lana. She helped inspire him. She encouraged him from the beginning, telling him that even he could be a farmer if he wanted to be one. Now that she was gone…what did any of it really matter? Suddenly hearing Alexander laughing with Chloe, Lex realized again that it did matter. It mattered for Alex and for Lilly. Still as he walked on, Lex knew that deep inside his heart, he was far from being strong enough to make it for his kids. Walking into the living room, Lex saw Chloe playing G.I. Joe’s with Alex and babysitting Lilly who had woken up while Lex was outside. He saw the love in Chloe’s eyes for the kids – her kindness – and he smiled…

TBC…

[Kit Merlot]

This was a great chapter!

It does seem as though Lana was a real positive influence on Lex and I have no doubt she loved her kids--I wouldn't really mind it if thei was how Lexana was shown on Smallville.

Unfortunately, this isn't the version we are actually seeing;)

Great work on this chapter, Angie--can't wait for more.

[Ann]

Great chapter Angie. Very emotional and detailed. I love where you're going with this. Great job!

[LexGirl]

Thank you guys!! :) I'm so glad that you both liked it! :) Ann, I'm touched that you liked it so well!! And I'm glad that you liked it also Kathy...:) I'll try to add more soon! :)

[*gum*]

just started reading this...I really love the concept and the way you both write it is really beautiful.

I hope to see more soon :)

[Alizaleven]

Cool! Its so neat your sister is working on this now :D I'm glad its still going hehe.. awesome update by the way Angie I know your gonna do great, you already are hehehe.. more please... ;)

Ali

[kimbo]

This is so beautifully written. Poor lex. I can't wait for the next part.

[LexGirl]

A HUGE thank you to Ann, Kit, *gum*, Alizaleven, and kimbo for your wonderful replies to my chapter!! :) I'm so glad that you all like Chapter Five!! :)

Here is the next Chapter I hope that you like it as well! :)

Learning to Breathe Again
Part Six
A/N: This is a little lighter since Chloe is there to make things brighter!

Martha Kent busily worked in her kitchen, wrapping up the green bean casserole and the fried chicken that she had prepared. Checking over it again to be positive that there was enough, she put the basket on the table and began to put the food inside it. This trusty basket had been used so many times that Martha couldn’t count. Being a wife of a hardworking farmer and a growing son, Martha knew all about taking food out to her men as they worked on the farm. Today, she would use it to take the food next door, to the Luthor’s. Poor Chloe had been there all night long since the snow fell. She’d found out about it from Jonathan who had told her he’d seen her parking her Volkswagen Bug over there yesterday.

Tucking a blanket over the top and grabbing her light green heavy coat and earmuffs, Martha hollered to Jonathan that she was going and she’d be back. Then opening the front door she stepped out and with the basket on her right arm, she stepped onto her porch, closing the door behind her. The porch that was now covered in snow that stuck in the middle of the boards and was slippery in spots from ice that had dripped from the roof and frozen during the day. The wind was a bitter cold that had enough bite in it to cause even the biggest lover of winter to feel tears coming to her eyes. Martha was a huge fan of snow, yet as she walked across her porch that afternoon, her eyes were blurry and her teeth were chattering. The snow continued to fall as she walked down the steps, ever careful to keep from slipping off the icy spots that clung to the wooden steps. At 5:00 that morning, Jonathan had shoveled the snow off the porch steps so that he could go about his morning of feeding the animals in the barn and plowing. He came back in looking like a white polar bear with a sexy scruffy beard!

This was the first winter snow of the year. Martha smiled at that, despite how much effort she had to take walking through it, how damp her legs felt as they caved in twenty inches as she did so. The snow that continued to fall was trying, as she looked onward, toward the tan two-story farmhouse that she was attempting to reach. But eventually, she was halfway there and from where she stood, she made it a goal to reach the barn, then the house.
I’ve walked through worse, Martha told herself confidently as she continued to move forward.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Lex poured himself and Alex and Chloe glasses of hot chocolate. Chloe sat at Lex’s wooden table with Alex beside her, as they talked about Pirates of the Caribbean. Alex loved the character of Jack Sparrow. He was telling her all about how incredibly cool he was, which of course led to grabbing the broom and Alex’s bat for dueling. Alex grabbed his bat and aimed it with an “You don’t know who you’re messing with, mate.’ I’m Captain Jack Sparrow!” sound to make himself sound brave. Chloe attempted to be the opposing character of Will as she held the broom in her right hand and said, “Ooh, well let’s see what you’ve got! Charge!” Lightly pretending to be top fighters fenced back and forth for a few minutes in healthy fun, which Chloe loved more than anything because she got to see Alex smile. He was a great kid. When it became a little too adventurous, Chloe put a stop to it and they put the weapons down.

Meanwhile, Lex with a smile on his face and a congratulations to the two best Pirates of the Spanish Main, brought the cups to the table. Chloe smiled at Lex, seeing the mug of hot chocolate and said, “Ooh! Thanks, Lex.” Lex handed Alex his with candies on top and said, “No problem. The snow looks like it’s not going to stop.” Alex’s blue eyes got large as he shouted, “Cool!! I love snow. Does that mean I can go make snowmen?”

Making snowmen…How many times had Lana taken Alex out and made snowmen with him? How many times had she pulled Lex’s hand and tugged him out with them, despite his wishes to stay inside where it was warm? Yet even though it had been colder than hell, he had enjoyed being there, with Lana and with his son. Before Lex could really feel the pain of Lana not being there to be part of it, he looked at Chloe and said, “Making snowmen is a yearly thing we do. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, I’d understand…”

Chloe smiled largely and said with strong enthusiasm, “I’d love to help make snowmen. Let me get my coat and hat and boots.” Alex tugged on Chloe’s hand, surprising both Chloe and Lex and said, “Come on! I’ll show you where our buttons and other stuff that we keep are at.”
Chloe put her arm around his shoulder and said, “Sounds like fun.” Smiling, Chloe walked into the other room with Alex.

Lex drank his hot chocolate and looked lovingly at Lilly who was sleeping angelically on the table in her pink bassinet. Martha had given Lex and Lana the bassinet that she had bought hoping she could use it for hers and Jonathan’s baby. Lex touched the bassinet with fondness, caring for the gesture as much as the family that gave it to them. He smiled at his baby girl and touched her little hand as it curled into the blanket so sweetly.

Putting Lilly in a warmer outfit with a jacket and wrapping her up good, Lex grabbed his jacket and gloves. Before he could make it out the door though with Lilly, a knock happened on the door.

Lex walked across the kitchen, to the living room and opening the door he saw Martha with a smile on her face and a brown basket in her arm. Smiling, Lex said, “Mrs. Kent. Come in, come in.”

Martha walked into the house, stomping snow forever it seemed on the Welcome Mat. Kicking off her boots, she said, “I hope I’m not interrupting whatever you’re doing.”

Lex shook his head and taking her boots and moving them out of the way, near the door, he said, “Never. You’d never be doing that. Can you believe all this snow?”

Martha said, “I know! But I love it. It symbolizes so much festivity that I have to smile despite the cold.”

Smiling, Lex said, “I saw Jonathan out there plowing. I need to get over there and help him, but I’ve been so busy here…and truthfully, things are just now getting to somewhat of a normal state. After…”

Understanding, Martha said, “Lex, Jonathan and I are really sorry about Lana…and we offer our sympathy to you and our love.”

Lex put his hand over Martha’s and said, “I appreciate that, very much. Tell Mr. Kent that I will be back soon to help out and that I appreciate all his help.”

Nodding, Martha said, “I will.” Pausing for a second, she said, “I brought you some food to heat up for dinner. I figured that you probably weren’t up to fixing anything right now. It’s just a casserole and fried chicken.”

Lex felt very touched, feeling his eyes get a little wet as he said, “It’s more than enough. Thank you both, very much.”

Martha smiled and said, “We’re family, Lex. We became that way a long time ago.”

Lex gave Martha a hug and said, “Well, you’re welcome to stay and join in the fun. Chloe and Alex are out back building snowmen.”

Martha smiled and said, “That’s wonderful. Chloe is such a good girl, Lex.”

Lex nodded and said, “I know she is. I’ve really appreciated her friendship since she came here. It’s been invaluable…especially right now…” he looked downward for a few moments.

Martha touched his hand and said, “I know it’s hard right now, Lex…”

Lex tried to fight it back and said for show, “It is but I know that I can’t wallow I have to keep going.”

Squeezing his hand as she would Clark’s, Martha said, “Well, don’t be too hard on yourself, Lex. Grieving is a difficult process. We’re always here, Lex to help you and I’m here anytime you need a babysitter or a friend, all you have to do is ask.”

Lex said, “Thank you, Martha.”

Martha smiled and said, “You’re welcome. Well I think I’m going to get back to the farm, see if Jonathan’s up for lighting the fireplace.”

Just then, Chloe stepped in the back door off the kitchen with a smile on her face, as she said gleefully, “The first snowman is up! Alex is eager for you to see it.”

Lex smiled, hearing Alex’s excitement from inside the kitchen. He replied, “Well in that case, I better get out there and take a look.”

Seeing Martha, Chloe smiled and said, “Mrs. Kent…it’s nice to see you.”

Martha smiled at Chloe and said, “It’s nice to see you too, Chloe.” It was good to see Chloe smiling. She hadn’t smiled a lot in the past few years, Martha knew. Just then, Chloe looked outside and saw Alex playing and called him in so she could watch him while this was going on. When he came back inside, she helped him with his boots and brushing off the snow. Martha saw a maternal bond that was forming already between Chloe and Alex. It was heartwarming.

Walking over to Lilly, speaking of motherly love, Martha saw the baby bundled up snugly and suddenly she became aware of what was going to happen before she arrived. Looking at Lex she said, “Lex, you aren’t going to take the baby out in this are you?”

Lex looked at Chloe and innocently shrugged saying, “I…was…I thought it would be okay if she was bundled up well.”

Martha looked at Chloe who also showed surprise at the idea and then said, “Lex you never take a four day old baby out in blizzard conditions.”

Lex feeling shamed by his mother said sheepishly, “Oh…well I’m…sorry. I won’t do it again.”

Retaining her parental look, Martha continued, “Good. After a few weeks, it should be fine. Anyway, Lex, Clark will probably come and see you in the next couple of days, Lex. See how you’re doing.”

Gulping, seeing Chloe’s grin of watching Lex sound like a little boy who just got warned, Lex replied, “Sounds good. Thank you for stopping by and bringing us this great food. We’ll enjoy it, won’t we Alex?”

Alex looked at the food like a little kid and said with a large smile, “Yeah! Thanks, Mrs. Kent!”

Martha smiled at Alex and said, “You’re more than welcome, Alex. After all this snow you can stop by our house anytime you want to, if your dad says it’s okay.” Jonathan loved having Alex there and so did Clark, when he was visiting.

Alex looked up at Lex who was still trying to get back to the program after the talk with Martha, and he begged, “Can I dad?”

Lex said, “Sure, if it’s okay with Mrs. Kent then it’s okay with me.”

Alex eagerly said thank you and took off for the front door. Chloe stopped him explaining quietly that they had to wait a few minutes since Mrs. Kent was getting ready to leave.

Martha hugged Chloe and then hugged Lex and Alex and pushing on her boots she left the farm, heading across the land they shared, back to hers and Jonathan’s.

Lex shut the door and walked back to Chloe who stood trying not to giggle, but showing a smirk on her face anyway. He said, “I know, I sounded like I was five. But Mrs. Kent is like my mother and hearing her say that felt like I was being chastised.”

Chloe giggled a little and said, “Don’t worry, Lex. I know what it’s like to be chastised. I won’t pick on your for it…not right now anyway. Let’s go see the snowmen.”

Alex grabbed Chloe’s hand and said agreeably, “Yeah!”

Lex smiled, about to go with them, then said, “On second thought, maybe I should take a shift.”

Recalling the conversation, Chloe grinned largely and said, “I’ll stay inside while Alex takes you out.”

Lex grimaced and followed his excited little boy outside, while Chloe stayed inside with Lilly, giggling to herself with glee!

TBC…

[Kit Merlot]

Another great update!

I like that Chloe is spending so much time with Alex and that seems to be helping Lex as well, which is awesome.

And I always enjoy it when Martha appears in fics:D

Great work.

[LexGirl]

Learning to Breathe Again
Part Seven
A/N: I hope this sounds okay. I did it more in Chloe's perspective...:)

Chloe knew when she drove from Lex’s mansion back into town that she was going to face a headache of a mess. She was up until 1:30 that morning, talking with Lex about the kids and Lana and the weather and a little bit of everything. She felt the caffeine that she’d felt had helped her get through the first part of today going away and because she knew what would happen if she ignored it, Chloe opened her can of Pepsi and took another drink. If she was going to drive into town with center roads piled up like Mount Everest, then she needed to be awake. Sure enough, as Chloe drove further down Main Street, she saw that the damned plows pushed every bit of the snow into the middle of the roads and left it there recklessly so that the drivers of Smallville could struggle to drive through it.

What topped all this mess off was the fact that her period started that morning and she had unbearable cramps that hit her so badly right then that all she could do was bitch out loud to the crew! Rolling her window down and fighting the ice-cycles that were jammed into the window itself, Chloe put her pain and anger at the moment into it and leaning out the window she yelled, “Do you think that you could have found another place to pile this crap?”

Alan Danberk, a crewman that Chloe had known for years, shrugged his plump shoulders and said, “Not at the moment.”

Chloe glared at him and snapped back, “Oh! I can’t believe this!” Chloe fought the window again, rolling it up and then with her hands covered with silver gloves. She drove her red bug ahead of those behind her trying to be a good leader, but suffering from a need to beat the shit out of those that felt that the middle of a main road was the optimum place for this much snow!

Arriving at her house, Chloe parked the car and with her right side, gave it her all as she pushed the door open. Wasn’t winter wonderful? Chloe bitterly thought as she grumbled her way, slipping on ice that was on her sidewalk. Having to force herself to create traction by sliding her boots across it, she eventually made it to her front door.

Unlocking and opening her door, Chloe walked inside, resembling Mrs. Claus as she kicked off her boots and attempted to get warm. It was one thing to enjoy making snowmen with little Alex, but another to be an adult person having to drive in mayhem and then slip and slide all the way to the front door of her own home!

Hurrying to her light blue bathroom, Chloe stripped down to her bra and panties and put every bit of her clothing into the bathtub.

Grabbing a towel from beneath her bathroom sink, Chloe wrapped up and walked into her bedroom. Hurrying to her oak dresser, she opened her third drawer and took out her black sweat outfit.

Yes! Her favorite around the house outfit was clean and in her dresser! Getting dressed, Chloe put on socks as well and walked into the living room. Letting out a deep breath as she sat on the couch, Chloe remembered the past few days at Lex’s…

Lex had looked at Chloe during the night when the kids were asleep and said in the living room, “You heading out tomorrow?”

Chloe nodded, liking sitting on Lex’s comfy couch, next to him, as she said, “Yep. I have to heat up the place and change…I’ve been in these clothes for a few days now.”

Feeling guilty for saying that when Lex and Alex and Lilly were in so much worse of a predicament, Chloe hung her head and said, “Lex I didn’t mean to sound so selfish or vain. I know that you guys have been through hell and I’m not in any way trying to sound like that…”

Lex put his hand on hers and said, “Hey. Nobody thinks that you’re anywhere near vain or selfish. You’re like an angel, Chloe. You came here when we needed you…I needed you and you were here for me. So you never ever have to think that I’m going to consider you anything less than incredible.”

Chloe quizzically grinned at him and said, “Wow…And just when I thought I didn’t need my tape-recorder. I could have taped all this and used it later for reminders of how wonderful I truly am.”

Lex grinned at Chloe with best friend eyes and said, “Regardless if you had it or not, I’d still feel the same way, Chloe.”

Smiling at him, Chloe said, “Okay. Well it’s after one now. I think I need to get some sleep so I can drive tomorrow.”

Lex stood and stretching he said, “Yeah, I need to get to bed myself. Have a good night’s sleep, Chloe.”

Chloe smiled and said, “You too, Lex.”

Lex left the living room and Chloe stood watching him go up the steps. Lex was going to be fine, she thought to herself. So will the kids. They will get through it.

Looking around in her house currently, Chloe wondered if going on with her life was going to be as easy as it was, now that she’d spent three days in the farm house of Lex Luthor. She had been single hadn’t had any guy live with her even as a buddy. Chloe had been independent and liked having her own say about everything. The blizzard had opened a chance for Chloe to help Lex and the kids, but it did something even more for Chloe...it got her to see just how empty-hearted she could feel when she was alone in her own house with nothing to smile at her. Nobody to put their arms around her and call her mama. Nothing...except herself...

TBC…

[Kit Merlot]

Another wonderful update! I know that Lex and his kids have gone through a terrible trauma, but I'm worried that Chloe is going to wind up getting hurt--she's throwing herself into helping Lex and his kids heal. that she is almost forgetting to live her own life.

Can't wait for more.

[blacktears]

I have read this story some month ago and i realy like it because it so full of drama. Anyway i can't wait to read what going to happend nex!!!

[Ann]

Yet another great chapter! I am looking forward to seeing whether Chloe can adjust to living both lives or if one will pull her stronger than the other and she has to choose. Keep up the great work. :)

[LexGirl]

Thank you all for your wonderful feedbacking!! :) It means a lot that it's liked so well! :)

Learning to Breathe Again
By, Angie
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Chapter Eight

Chloe felt that going to see Lex and the kids the next day was what she needed to be doing. She told herself that she could take her laptop with her and her notebook she had written ideas in for her novel and anything that inspired her could be added while there at the farm. She ignored Lois who told her she was getting too involved. She ignored everybody who tried to say that being over at Lex’s this much after the funeral was pushy and going to get her hurt. Her heart wouldn’t let her stay home. Not when she felt that she needed to be there.

So climbing into the little red bug, Chloe drove down the main road in Smallville, past The Talon, even though she was secretly wishing she’d stopped to get a coffee to take along, on out to the farm.

She grabbed a Pepsi from her house and she figured that was good enough. Going with her laptop up the sidewalk and to the steps, Chloe walked across snow and slipped here and there on ice until reaching the front door. Knocking on the door, Chloe said, “Lex? It’s me, Chloe.”

Lex opened the door with Alex in his arms and the baby crying in her bassinet nearby. Looking a mess and stressed in his gray sweats and black college sweatshirt, he said, “Chloe. I didn’t know you were coming by.”

Chloe said with a shrug and smile, “I thought maybe you’d need some help and it was more fun here than at home by myself.” Honesty, even if it did sound incredibly lonely and miserable, Chloe thought to herself.

Lex put Alex down and said with zest, “Well I won’t say that being here is more fun, but I am glad that you’ve stopped by. I need the help right now.” He’d been trying his best to get things cleaned and couldn’t get anywhere between Alex wetting the bed this morning, again, and since Lana’s going into the hospital, tugging Lex around to get new clothes. Clothes that Lex hadn’t had the chance to get into the dryer yet from cooking and taking care of the kids.

Chloe could tell it had been a tough morning from the looks of the house and how clothes were all over the couch and the floor. Taking Lilly she said, “Chloe’s here now so I’ll chip in wherever you need me.”

Lex let out a huge breath and then said, “Thank you!” He took Alex into the bathroom to get him cleaned up and change his clothes into something that wasn’t what he was wearing, which was his bear bottom and a sweatshirt.

Chloe locked the door and walking over to Lilly she said, “Hello, little angel.” Picking up the baby, she saw that what she needed was changing. So searching for the diapers – finding them also on the living room floor – Chloe changed Lilly and holding her in her arms, Chloe walked to the bathroom and knocked.

Lex hollered out, “Yeah?”

Chloe said, “Lex, has Lilly had breakfast yet?”

Lex muttered, “Not yet…Alex hold still. The water is barely warm and it’s not going to hurt you, I promise. But I’ve got to get you cleaned up.”

Chuckling in the hall, Chloe said, “I’m going to find some formula and feed her, okay?”

Lex said, “Fine. It should be in the fridge.”

Chloe nodded and continuing to smile, she walked with little Lilly in her arms and said, “Let’s get you something to eat, Lilly.”

Fixing a bottle, Chloe sat in the kitchen at the table and was feeding the baby when Lex walked out with Alex, dressed in red sweats and a fire-engine sweatshirt. Chloe smiled and said, “You look very handsome today, Alex.”

Alex grumbled, “I hate baths!”

Lex said, “Well you smell lots better and you have to be warmer.”

Alex just looked miffed at having to get through another one and then get dressed when he’d rather be in his shirt and underwear.

Chloe fought a laugh and looking she saw a box of Count Chocula cereal on the table, opened but with nothing taken out, like he’d started but had got caught wet from dad and had to stop getting his breakfast. She put Lilly back in her bassinet when she was done eating her own breakfast.

Then standing she said, “How about we finish making your cereal?”

Alex walked over and said, “I can do it, remember?”

Chloe backed up and said, “I know you can. Can I have some too?”

Alex smiled larger and said, “Sure! I’ll fix it.” He grabbed another bowl, a cute yellow plastic one similar to his, from the dishwasher and put it on the table next to his. Chloe watched with love as Alex poured the chocolate cereal into her bowl. This little boy who had just had one of the largest things taken from him was willing to pour a bowl of cereal for her. It might sound silly or small, but to Chloe just seeing the love and the innocence of his heart, his sharing something like this with her, had Chloe putting her arms around him and hugging him. She cried from the experience.

After helping get the house back in order so Lex could get his farm chores done, Chloe watched Babar with Alex and going with the need to prove that he was a big kid, Chloe asked Alex to help her when she gave Lilly a bath. He handed her the baby shampoo and the baby soap. Lilly was so tiny! Chloe held her so carefully as she bathed her gently in a small amount of water, in her blue infant bathtub.

Drying her and putting on a new outfit with unicorns on it, Chloe put Lilly down for a little nap around 9:30 and then with Alex beside her, she put together Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches and wrapping them up, put them into the fridge for lunch.

When Lex came back into the house sweaty and cold with snow on his boots, Chloe said, “Well hello. Here,” she helped him get his coat off and then said, “Alex was a big help to me fixing lunch.”

Alex smiled largely at Chloe’s bragging and said, “I’ll get them out of the fridge, Dad.”

Lex showed impressed emotions and said, “Wow! I’m proud of you, Alex.”

Lilly made some noises and Chloe said, “Ah, looks like Lilly wants to eat with us. I’ll go get her. Alex tell your dad about our morning.”

As Alex and Lex got lunch on the table, Chloe walked into the other room to get Lilly. Picking her up she held her with affection. Standing in the room with a baby in her arms and Lex and Alex in the kitchen, Chloe felt that her happiness was here, in this farm. Maybe it was just helping a good friend on the outside, but inside her, Chloe knew now that she wanted this kind of life someday herself as a wife, as a mother…

TBC…

[Kit Merlot]

This was a lovely update, by why do I sense a horrible tragedy about to happen?

Like Lex might begin to think he is taking up too much of Chloe's time, and asks her to back off helping him so much? Or someone comes up to Chloe and accuses her of jumping into Lana's spot? That Lex doesn't want her, just her help with his kids?

Maybe I'm projecting too much, but I think Chloe's going to get horribly hurt. But that's not to say that Lex can't make it up to her:D

Please continue--soon!

[channytell]

interesting story would love to see what happens next.....
xoxoxo C

[LexGirl]

I will try to add more soon...just started back at School, so I've been busy...but don't give up, I'll be back! :)

[LexGirl]

Here is my next chapter, hope you like it! :) All is not lost with Lex/Chloe, just to forewarn...:)

Learning to Breathe Again
By, Angie
Rating: Adult
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Chapter Nine

Lex was having a really bad go of it. For the past several nights he had been having dreams of Lana visiting him, haunting him with feelings of love and happiness that just weren’t part of his life anymore. He began to hate them because of the fact that every time he awoke he was by himself with an urge to pee and an empty bed full of wrinkles and sweat…and worst of all a heart full of pain and anguish. The dreams were becoming nightly and he had multiple ones during the nights, leaving very little sleep and chaos the next day when he tried to get things going.

When Chloe came by over a week ago, Lex thought it was great that she was there because he needed the help more than anything – until she started smiling at him and getting under his skin. Lex battled it however feeling he was being a jerk for not thinking of how much she cared about helping out a good friend and his family. Maybe that made him an absolute ass, but Lex just didn’t feel right having her come by all the time stepping in as a substitute. It felt wrong.

His inner feelings of distress over the mess toppled by seeing the picture of himself and Chloe in a newspaper article. “Is there a new woman in Lex’s life so soon after Lana?” Lex hated it and wanted to burn the son-of-a-bitch, but he read it because he felt he should in order to know what was being written…and it only got worse. Not only did the headlines read that trash, but it insinuated that Lex had been cheating on Lana with Chloe during their marriage. This wasn’t something Lex could deal with and so he made a phone call, asking Chloe over to his place.

Chloe was working on her novel when Lex called her and asked her to come by. She had decided to write about a woman who helped a friend when a tragedy occurred – yes very similar to what was going on with Chloe and Lex, but facts were easier to write than made up fiction off the top of her head. So she went with the idea and was typing it when the phone rang.

Chloe heard Lex’s voice and of course she recognized how direct he sounded, but Lex often sounded that way. She thought nothing of it, figuring that he was just having a tough day.

Parking her bug, she walked with her brown purse to the front door. She was going to knock on the door, but Lex opened it.

Chloe stepped into the house and she felt the chill of something that was wrong. Something had happened and she felt she was about to figure it out, like it or not. Where were the kids?

Lex said, “I’m glad you stopped by.”

Chloe said simply, “I stop by when friends call me.”

Lex said dryly, “Especially when I call you.”

Chloe smiled and said, “Well you are a great friend, Lex and I care about you. I don’t mind.”

Lex was upset about his name being put on the Smallville paper like it was despite his being away from the press and what’s more the marriage he had with Lana that he felt was very pure and honest being trashed so badly.

He said flatly, “Well I mind it. You can’t keep coming by and being my Alice all the time. You have a life of your own, Chloe and I have to keep living mine and doing the best I can with my kids.”

Chloe spoke exactly what she was thinking in her tattered heart, “Ever since high school, I’ve worked hard to believe that the way I was treated was over. It was behind me. All the times I’d been hurt and treated like a reject from everyone in the school, never getting a date to the dances I went to. Stupidly thinking that a guy would ask me to dance. Lana and I were best friends, Lex.”

Lex said with a sigh of pain at the knowledge and yet determination at his decision, “I know that, Chloe…”

Chloe looked into Lex’s eyes and continued with pain in her voice, “I came here to help you, Lex because you needed a friend, someone to help you out. I thought I was doing what was right…All I was doing was helping you out and helping out Alex and Lilly.”

Lex looked at Chloe and said plainly, “Chloe you’ve done more damage than you realize.” Handing her the newspaper, Lex walked over to the fireplace and stood with a feeling of horror in his heart.

Chloe looked at the article and realized why Lex was saying all of this. She walked over and said, “Lex, you know that this is a bunch of crap. We weren’t having an affair. I wouldn’t do anything like that to Lana or to you or the kids. I only came by here to help you out because I thought you needed the help. I’d help my 70-year-old neighbor if she needed my help or anyone else.”

Lex looked down at Chloe and said, “I doubt you’d go to her house as often as you have mine…”

Chloe looked away and said softly, “Lex I don’t know what you’re trying to say…I’ve only come by as a friend…to be here for you and for Alex and Lilly. I won’t come by anymore since it bothers you.”

Chloe got up to leave, feeling yet another time of being knocked to the ground by a guy who didn’t care about her at all. She was too upset to think about that thought any further. She was just destroyed by his words and needed to get out.

Lex said flatly, “Visiting me is one thing, Chloe. Becoming a live-in substitute for Lana is another.”

Chloe turned white and hurt all over. She broke into tears and said, “You bastard! I came by here to help get you out of a mess…You know that I would never be a sub for Lana! Not ever…I cared about her as one of my closest friends…but now I see that you think I’m as bad as a whore…thank you. Thank you for that insult. You might want to know though as you think such horrid things about me the ridiculousness of it, since I am a virgin.”

Lex turned and said, “Chloe…”

Chloe spat, “Leave me alone!” Chloe stormed out of the house and hurried to her bug.

Breaking into tears, she saw Lex stopping in front of her car. She rolled down the windows like an idiot.

Lex let out a ragged breath of regret and said, “I’m sorry, Chloe. I just think…”

Chloe said evenly, “You think that I’m a horrible person who is trying to take over Lana’s place. Sure, I might have liked being here and spending time with the kids…even having a good friend…but I would never…” Shaking her head she wiped her eyes and said, “Your Alice as you called me is going and she won’t be back.”

Chloe started her car and backed out of the driveway. She drove wiping her eyes and cursing traffic and herself for being a gigantic idiot.

Meanwhile Lex stood and watched as she left the farm feeling like a giant horse’s ass…

TBC…

[Gaia]

And she did get hurt.....figures...Stupid Lex!

[LexGirl]

Don't worry, things will work out...eventually...:)

[Kit Merlot]

Dman I knew that someone would call Chloe a Lana substitute--I just never thought that it would be Lex.

Chloe's been nothing but kind to Lex, and this is how he repays her. But most of his anger is actually directed at himself, because he is starting to have deeper feelings for Chloe.

Please post more soon:D

[LexGirl]

Yep and I think that scares him... Thank you guys for your constant feedback! :)

Here is Chapter Ten - hope you like it! :)

Learning to Breathe Again
By, Angie
Rating: Adult
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Chapter Ten

Chloe went home that day and deleted everything she had on her novel. She told herself it was all gibberish crap anyway and why keep it? Nobody would publish it like that and deep down she really couldn’t keep writing it when she thought of what happened at the farm earlier that day.

Grabbing a paper that had been tossed on her doorstep, Chloe changed into her jammies and walked to her movies. Checking her current mood, Chloe selected a DVD and walking to her DVD machine she put it in there. She wasn’t hungry, not really and she wasn’t in the mood to call Clark or Lois. Instead she plopped on the couch pitying her life and pushed play. Yep it was that same music of the same show she liked to watch when life itself sucked and she needed to connect with a girl who had a shitty life 24/7. Good old Buffy the Vampire Slayer the Series. Clicking on the episode Graduation, Chloe did the scene select and clicked it where it was the saddest, when Angel was telling her that he had to leave. Chloe muttered bitterly aloud, “Yeah, she gives you all her blood and you still leave…you wimpy jerk!”

But Chloe continued to watch and eventually began to cry while she watched Angel leaving and the love that Buffy felt destroying her.

A voice entered the scene that Chloe didn’t expect…

Lana said, “He didn’t mean to treat you that way, Chloe.”

Turning quickly, Chloe saw Lana standing against the wall.

Feeling worse for knowing her own real feelings at this point, Chloe said, “I’m sorry, Lana…I tried to be his friend and to be there…but he doesn’t want me there.”

Lana said with a patient smile, “He’s just worried that he might be giving a bad image to the town and leading you on…”

Chloe looked up and said emotionally, “I’m not expecting anything! Lana I just wanted to be his friend…he called me a whore.” Tears fell as she thought more about that mess earlier.

Lana said gently, “He didn’t mean it, Chloe. He’s just upset right now…he’s confused.”

Chloe put her hands together and sighed, “I am too…”

Lana touched Chloe’s shoulder and said, “My advice is to work on your novel and take it easy. It isn’t over, Chloe. Trust me.”

Chloe looked up through distraught green eyes and said, “What isn’t over? I’ve totally destroyed our friendship by stifling him like crazy…now he thinks I was coming on to him and making him uncomfortable…”

Lana grinned and said, “He’s just trying to handle things, Chloe, don’t take it to heart. Let Lex be a jerk and stay in that farm of his…let him handle things…you work on your novel and don’t worry about it.” Looking at the TV, Lana said, “Buffy’s over.”

Chloe hit the off button and started to say, “Yeah, I know but I can’t stop watching it…” She turned to Lana, but Lana was gone…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Lex was doing things, as he felt was right. He was working on the farm with Jonathan and Clark. Alex was in pre-school during the day now and Lilly was watched during the day by Martha. It worked out very well. Everything was smooth and taken care of. Yet Lex felt a huge painful feeling in his heart whenever he walked through the house. He felt alone, no friends, nobody to say hi to except the Kent’s. No smiling blonde to tell him to knock it off and deal. He was alone and he’d picked that option when he’d decided to call Chloe and tell her to stop coming by so often.

He’d been a big time jerk and he knew it. He’d felt the pain in his heart after she left and he couldn’t sleep. He felt worse than scummy. Though he wasn’t Lionel, ruthless and cold, he was tactless and could have handled it better. I should have thought about things before just calling her up like that, Lex thought to himself in a pace through the house.

It was ten in the morning. Alex would be home in a couple of hours. Meantime, Lex was heavy-hearted and lonely. He missed Chloe’s friendship. He thought about her helping him with building snowmen and sitting with him and the kids in the house. He missed her…

Suddenly Lana appeared in the room and looked lovingly at Lex. She said softly, “When you decide to stop torturing yourself, Lex, you can call Chloe. She’s at home…”

Lex looked up at Lana and said, “She’s not going to come back here, Lana. I was horrible to her.”

Lana walked over to Lex and sitting beside him, she said, “Lex why are you worried about hanging with Chloe? She’s a good friend.”

Lex looked at Lana and thinking about why had him rushing in his heart with the reasons, the pain, the worry, and he said, “Lana I love you! You are the woman I married and wanted to spend my life with. Being friends with Chloe, letting her come around her as much as she was…I’m afraid she’s going to feel led on.”

Lana touched Lex’s hand with hers and said, “You’re both big people, Lex…I think you can be friends. Down the road, though, you are going to have to realize that I would never expect you to stay where you are, with no one in your life. You’re too good a man to not be with another person, Lex.”

Lex looked at Lana and said with tears in his eyes and immense pain in his heart, “It’s too soon for me to even think of that, Lana. But I miss not having Chloe here as my friend.”

Lana said firmly, “So change that. Go to her house and tell her you screwed up and that you’re sorry.”

Lex blushed and smiled saying, “I love you, Lana.”

Lana said with emotion as well, “I love you too, Lex.”

Disappearing, Lana was gone.

Lex wiped his face with his fingers and looked at the room. Going to his BMW, Lex drove to Chloe’s…

Chloe was typing on her computer, nothing really exciting, but they were her thoughts anyway. She got up when she heard the front door. Walking over in her spaceship pajamas, Chloe looked through the peephole. She saw Lex and opening the door she said, “What are you doing here? I thought you didn’t want to hang around me anymore.”

Lex said sorrowfully, “Chloe I was stupid. I wasn’t thinking and I was wrong to blame you like that for all the crap that was in that paper! I just was upset…”

Chloe saw that he was so she opened the chain and let him in. Shutting the door behind him she walked in and said, “I knew you were upset and I understand about Lana and the paper and all that crap.”

Lex said, “I should have never called you that horrible name, Chloe. I can’t take that back as much as I want to.”

Shrugging, Chloe said, “I’ve been called more horrible of names in my life…”

Lex looked at Chloe as she sat on the EZ chair and sat next to her on her couch. He said, “But not by friends.”

Chloe wiped her own tears and said, “No, I’ve not been called a whore by my friends.”

Lex looked down and said, “The fact is Chloe, I do need you to come visit me and the kids. I want you to.” Looking into her eyes he said, “I need your friendship…if I lost that now on top of losing Lana…”

Chloe said from her heart, “I need your friendship too, Lex. You and Clark are the only two-guy friends I do have. Lois is a friend but it’s not the same… I may never get married, Lex or have a real relationship where I one day have kids. I guess I liked the idea of being an aunt or something like that to the kids.”

Lex looked at Chloe and said, “Chloe you may have been shafted in school because of jerks, but let me be the one to say that being alone, having a life of not being a mother or being cared about, those aren’t things that you’ll always have Chloe. Someday a man will find you and will see how loving you really are…how forgiving. And you will have a lifetime with him, Chloe.”

Chloe wiped her face and said with a chuckle, “Thank you, Lex, but I think that my days of being date girl are gone. I’m just going to keep doing what I’m doing and be happy with that. I’ll kill this mess that’s going on with the paper and I’ll keep visiting…”

Lex shook his head and said, “Don’t worry about it. I’ll handle the gossip crap, Chloe, I just want your friendship and want to apologize for being so selfish and so big of a bastard.”

Chloe walked over and sat next to him saying, “I forgive you, Lex. And you have my friendship.”

Lex reached over and hugged Chloe. Chloe hugged him back. They walked outside to the BMW and Chloe said she’d visit tomorrow. Lex smiled at Chloe and thanked her again, then climbed into his driver’s seat and drove on home. He entered the house feeling he’d done the right thing.

Chloe entered her place glad that Lex had come by… She smiled over at the wall where Lana had stood and said, “Thanks.”

Seated in front of her laptop, Chloe got back to work on her novel…

TBC…

[Kit Merlot]

Well good for Lex for apologizing!

And you've really made Lana a nice,loving presence, so it is quite difficult to hate her or the Lexana. I don't know how I feel about that:D

I'm glad that the Chlex friendship has been re-establsihed--they both need good friends in their lives. I just hope that the gossip mags leave them alone.

Can't wait for more.

[Gaia]

awww...*sniffs* that made me cry. The Chloe talking was just....so sad!

[LexGirl]

Thank you guys for your nice replies...sorry Gaia, didn't mean to make you cry!

This is a mini-chapter, just to show that the friendship between Lex and Chloe is continuing and that they aren't afraid of others thoughts about it! :)

Hope you like!

Learning to Breathe Again
By, Angie
Rating: Mature
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Chapter Eleven
A/N: I know this is kind of short, but I wanted to show that Lex and Chloe were continuing their friendship and that neither cared about what the town thought…hope I succeeded! 

Chloe went and visited Lex and the kids the next day. They spent the day just hanging out together. The difference was Chloe didn’t clean the house, she didn’t assume act in as a babysitter. Instead she relaxed and just enjoyed being here as a friend.

Over the next week, Chloe worked heavily on her novel, while Lex got things under control at the farm. He spent his days working hard, shoveling snow and planning on paper how he was going to get things going in the spring. That weekend, he took the kids and went to Chloe’s and they all four went to The Talon for lunch. Lex pushed two tables together so there would be enough room.

Chloe smiled as she watched how well behaved Alex was and figured his daddy had told him he better be nice or else. Lilly sat in a bassinet that Lex set on the table. Both Alex and Lilly were bundled up in winter coats, scarves and mittens. Lilly looked so cute! Her tiny little hands were fitted with pink mittens that matched the white and pink coat she wore. Her hat that attached to it had pink fringed around the face that was just too precious for words.
When Chloe saw the picture of Lana on the wall she felt saddened, since they put up her portrait in memorial to her being the one who started the Talon back up again. Her Aunt Nell and Lex had insisted upon it.

Lex caught it though and said with a hand squeeze and a smile, “So how are things going with your novel, Chloe?”

Chloe felt glad that Lex had brought her to this topic since right then her heart was sad over the memory of a great friend being gone. She smiled and said, “Pretty good, actually. I’ve been working all week on it, till late in the morning most days.”

Lex moved his hand and put it on the table saying light-heartedly, “I know how it is to be heavy into your work.”

Chloe said, “How have you all been doing?”

Alex said with a smile, “I got to make snowmen yesterday, after school. Maybe you can come and see it, Chloe.”

Chloe smiled and said, “I’d love to, sometime.”

Alex beamed and said, “Cool!”

Lex looked at Alex and grinned.

There were a lot of eagle eyes watching as the two friends ate lunch together. Teenagers watched through the windows. Families who were inside the restaurant were whispering.

Chloe saw it and she signaled to Lex. His reaction was to smile at Chloe and then at his children and continue to enjoy lunch. Chloe followed suit.

TBC…

[Alizaleven]

Awww lovely update!! I'm so glad he apologized :) and I'm super glad that I got to finally get back here at NS :D I've certainly missed a lot... I hate being busy.. you miss way too many good updates that way!

[Kit Merlot]

Alright--this is what I like to see, a happy Chlex relationship--even if they are just friends:D

And good for Lex for not letting the town busybodies get to him--he and CHloe are allowed to be friends, and they can hang out together all they want.

Great work on this fic!

[LexGirl]

Thank you all for your wonderful replies!!! :)

Here is the next chapter!

Learning to Breathe Again
By, Angie
Rating: Mature
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Chapter Twelve

One Month Later…

Word had gone all around Smallville that Lex and Chloe were seen together, in various places with the kids. It was one thing that sucked about Smallville, kind of a drawback to the choice of staying here. But safety and familiarity of the same people and the same setting had been what had Chloe Sullivan choosing to stay here after graduation and all these years since. It had been what had Lex staying as well and raising a family here. Despite the talk and the nonsense, for the past month, Lex and Chloe had chosen to spend a great deal of time together, going to parks with the kids, and things like that. Lex had had to go to the school to see about Alex, but he wisely went alone so that that decision wouldn’t be seen as a slam against Chloe.

As time had gone by the town was putting up decorations for Valentine’s day. In a way Lex despised it because Valentine’s Day was one of Lana’s favorite holidays. But in another way, he was happy to see it because of the way that Chloe’s face just got so excited about it, when she spoke of it. It didn’t matter that nobody had bought her anything in ages, she still saw the holiday as special and began wearing red sweaters in homage to the event!

It was Chloe who inspired Lex to decorate the farm a little for the occasion, and he consented to her working with Alex, cutting out hearts and taping them up on the windows. She convinced Alex and Lex that it was not a “girl” thing to decorate for it. It was universal. Alex, being five years old, loved the idea of having scissors and tape. And Lex just liked seeing Alex happy again. Chloe’s bright face made Lex feel happy as well. It was as if she was a magnet and possessed some sort of positive goodness within her that gave him hope and a feeling that maybe one day he could be truly happy too.

Martha invited Lex and the kids over to hers and Jonathan’s place for dinner that night. Alex loved going to the Kent’s because he got to sneak through Clark’s things, when Martha wasn’t looking. He may only be five but he was a Tom Sawyer follower if he ever did exist! While everyone was catering to little Lilly and how pretty she looked, taking turns holding her, Alex sneaked upstairs in his brown boots and blue jeans, suspenders and white shirt. Turning into Clark’s room, he felt he had entered Fantasia! The entire room was full of exciting things. Clark’s favorite toys, his favorite collections. Walking to the door, he leaned out and listened…yep everyone was still busy down there with Lilly and with dinner. Going back to his scavengering, Alex set into having a blast in Clark’s room!

Clark turned off the engine to his pickup and walked into the house. He said hi to Lex and the others, hugged his mom and spoke briefly to his dad. He needed to go to his room and kick off his boots, change into some warmer clothes and then he’d be back down to visit with company. As he walked closer to his room, though, he noticed a sound of someone rummaging in there…grinning to himself he figured he knew who it was. Alex Luther was just like his dad when it came to curiosity.

Quietly stepping in, Clark said a bit louder than his footsteps, “Found anything exciting Alex?”

Alex turned quickly and blushed nervously saying, “I…was…just looking.”

Clark looked at the card collection and said, “Why don’t we look together?”

But Alex felt he was busted and so he was embarrassed. He said, “Maybe next time…”

He hurried downstairs. Clark carried his card collection with him and grinned as he jogged down the steps. Walking over to Alex who had sat on the couch in the livingroom, Clark handed the card collection to him and said, “Here, Alex. You forgot this upstairs.” Smiling at him, Clark said, “It’s better if you ask, Alex. I’d never mind you looking at my things.”

Alex smiled larger and got to looking as Clark stepped to Lex.

Lex was behind Clark, trying to see what was going on. He said, “Is my son getting into your stuff again, Clark?”

Clark smiled at Alex and said, “Nah, just being curious…wonder where he got that tendency?”

Lex chuckled and said, “Couldn’t have been from me. Must have been from you, Clark.”

Clark said, “Uh-huh. I’m going to change.”

Lex nodded and walked into the kitchen, to see Chloe who just showed up and was visiting with Martha. One more reason to be happy being here, Lex thought as he walked over and got into the conversation with his best friend…

TBC…

[Kit Merlot]

Oh this was just lovely!

I liked the Alex/Clark interactions--Clark would probably have been an excellent big brother:D

And I like the slow build-up you have to Lex's growing feelings for Chloe--great work.

[LexGirl]

Thank you Kit!! :) I'm glad you liked my last chapter and the buildup! :) Sorry about the wait, I was preparing for Midterms. But here is my Chapter 13.

Hope you enjoy it!

Learning to Breathe Again
By, Angie
Rating: Adult
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Chapter Thirteen

Lex knew that the closer that Chloe got to being serious with her novel, the more his father would seep out like moss from a tree. He had been right. When Chloe made news around Smallville that she was indeed writing a story for publication on the past investigations of Lionel Luthor, it got back to him. Enough well paid dogs that his father had hired to eavesdrop on any good news that came out and he had the updates within the week. That meant another visit to the farm and yet another battle between father and son.

Luckily Chloe had the kids and they were gone because Lex abhorred the battles in front of his father with his kids being there. Now that the house was empty though open war was a-okay.

“Why did you come out here, Dad? Except to ***** about what’s going on in Smallville, I mean.” Lex asked in the living room, as he paced and his father gave that look of evil spite he always gave.

Lionel glared back and said, “I came by, Lex because it is apparent that your girlfriend is threatening to publish a book that will make me look defamatory.”

Snorting, Lex said, “All Chloe is doing dad is publishing the truth. You don’t like that because it makes you look bad.”

Lionel’s eyes got even more steely and his words more crisp as he declared, “It makes us both look bad, Lex!”

Lex folded his arms and stopped pacing saying, “It doesn’t make me look bad at all. I’ve changed. When I left the company and your money, I decided I was going to start over and that’s what I have done. I’m on the same level as the farmers in this town. I don’t care what people think about me, as long as they know I’m being honest and I’m being perfectly honest when I tell you that if you don’t like what Chloe is doing with her book you should have thought twice about your actions umpteen years back when you decided to commit crimes. Now we have nothing else to talk about.”

Lex opened the door and showed his father out.

Lionel turned vehemently and said in a leering voice, “If your girlfriend causes me any trouble, Lex it will ricochet back, she will feel the consequences."

Lex shoved his dad back against the wall of his house and said, “Don’t you dare threaten my girlfriend’s life, do you understand me? I’ll be the one hunting you down and you won’t like it! Now you get the hell off my property and don’t ever come back here again!”

Lex took his farming strength and waylaid his dad off the porch and toward his fancy limousine.

He didn’t think about what he referred to Chloe as until his dad was many miles down the road. At that point though he was still fuming from his dad’s threat. There was nobody who was going to threaten Chloe Sullivan’s life. He cared about her too much.

As he sat on the couch and looked at the clock, Lex did think about how he called her his girlfriend. Maybe it was just the fact that his dad had said it first, in a negative way that had Lex saying it in a protectively positive way. Who knew? All Lex thought was that he was going to protect Chloe from here on out. When he saw her pull up in her red bug, he walked back out onto his wooden porch. Seeing his children was the best thing he could see…seeing Chloe was second best. Walking over to them both, he smiled and said, “Did you have fun?”

Chloe smiled largely, the sunlight from the day in her eyes, as she said, “Yes, we had a blast. Alex played in the playroom at Mc Donald’s for a long time, while Lilly and I enjoyed playtime at our table.”

Alex leapt out of the car and ran up to Lex saying with joy in his heart, “It was awesome dad! You should have come with us!”

Lex looked into his son’s beautiful face and said, “You’re right, Alex, I should have come. Next time, count me in.”

Alex said, “Cool! Can I go in and turn on the TV?”

Lex said, “Yes, after you tell Chloe thank you for taking you out to lunch.”

Turning, Alex said half-heartedly, wanting to watch the Power Rangers, “Thanks, Chloe.”

Chloe smiled and said, “Anytime, Alex.”

But she saw that Lex was upset about something. Noting tracks she said, “He was here earlier wasn’t he?”

Lex was surprised that she knew, since he hadn’t said. He said, “Yes, but how did you guess?”

Chloe rolled her eyes and said, “Come on, Lex. This is Smallville. Anytime a limo is in town, everyone knows about it.”

Shaking his head, Lex said, “I didn’t think about that.”

Lex walked to the car and unhooked Lilly from the infant seat. Picking her up he held her protectively, then looking at Chloe, he said, “My dad is mad about your publishing your book. His entire visit was on bashing the idea.”

Grinning, Chloe said, “OH really? Well that means that he’s just nervous what it will do to his image.”

Lex said with a gust of energy, “Exactly. But that’s not important. I’m going to keep a watch on what he does the next few weeks. He’s got a mission to get even if this gets ugly, which we both know it will.”

Chloe said, “What did he say, Lex?”

Lex said dismissively, not wanting to worry her, “It doesn’t matter, Chloe.”

But Chloe wanted to know. She said, “It does matter, Lex, I’m not an idiot, I know by looking at you right now that it matters. What did he say?”

Lex looked and saw Alex was in the house and turning to Chloe he said, “My dad is threatening to get even with you, Chloe if he gets bad repercussions from your book.”

Grinning, not at all concerned, Chloe walked toward the house saying, “I’m shaking.”

Lex walked closer to her saying, “My dad is an imbecile, I agree, but I think you should…”

Chloe stopped and said, “If you’re going to ask me to stop coming by, that’s not going to happen, Lex. I won’t stop living or seeing my best friend and his family because Lionel Luthor might breathe down my neck a little. He’s pulled crap before and I’ve gotten past it. I’ll get past this too.”

Lex admired her, but still he said, “I’m keeping an eye on you for a little while, Chloe, just to be safe.”

Chloe smiled and said, “You do that anyway, Lex.”

Lex felt nervous hearing her say that. He said, “I do?”

Chloe said, “You stop by my place to see that I’m okay, if I need anything at the store. I come by here and you ask how I’m doing.”

Lex said self-consciously, “I’ll back off some when this is over, Chloe…I didn’t know that I was hovering.”

Chloe slid her feet closer to him and said, “I don’t want you to stop checking up on me, that means you care enough about me as a friend to know that I’m okay. I’ve never had a friend good enough to do that before.”

Lex said simply, “I do care about you, Chloe. We all do.”

Smiling, Chloe said, “I appreciate that. But I want you to know I’m not afraid of your father, Lex. We’ve banded together before, remember?”

Nodding, Lex grinned relaxed by talking with Chloe, and he said, “We did and we got through it, I remember.”

Squeezing his hand as a friend, Chloe smiled brightly again and said, “So. I’m not going to let this stop me from living. Are you?”

Shaking his head, Lex said happily, “Not at all.”

Chloe said, “I’m going in to watch the Power Rangers with Alex. I missed last week’s.”

Lex smiled as he watched Chloe go inside. So what if he did call her his girlfriend to his dad. His dad could eat dirt, and he didn’t care what he thought. Right then, Lex just liked going inside the house and feeling the warmth of home all around him. The smile of a woman who cared about him and two fantastic kids that were his…

TBC…

[Kit Merlot]

This may seem immature, but

LEX CALLED CHLOE HIS GIRLFRIEND!!

I love it:D

Good for him for not letting Lionel try to threaten or intimidate Chloe.

Great work on this fic!

[Nyx]

OHH this fic is so good, sad in the beginning.

I have a question: in the first chapter you can see that the story goes back in time two years, to when Lana died that means someone got hurt in the present???

I hope you will update soon.

[LexGirl]

Yes, another person close to Lex's heart will wind up hurt...later on. I'm so glad you like this story! Thank you for both for posting replies to my chapters!! :) I will try to have another post up soon! :)

[Nyx]

And I'll be waiting.... :grin3:

[LexGirl]

Cool! :) Here is Chapter Fourteen - hope you like it, I felt inspired with the occasion of St. Patrick's Day! :)

Learning to Breathe Again
By, Angie
Rating: Adult
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Chapter Fourteen

It was St. Patrick’s Day weekend. Smallville was up and rearing with festivities and excitement, so was Metropolis. Lex took Chloe and the kids to the carnivals and being a sap of a dad, he won a stuffed St. Patty bear for Lilly and gave Alex a few dollars to buy something he wanted as well.

Chloe dressed up in a bright green shirt and blue jeans. Alex took the money that his dad gave him and bought Chloe a green necklace to put on to match her shirt. Chloe took it willingly and smiled saying to Alex that she would always wear it on St. Patrick’s Day. She hugged him and kissed his head. He hugged her back tightly.

Lex watched all of this as they walked in the fairground and said with a smile, “It matches quite well.”

Smiling brightly, Chloe said, “Thank you.” She put her arm around Alex and watched as Lex pushed Lilly in the stroller.

There were tents set up in the fairgrounds with green leprechauns and four- leaf-clovers hand painted on the outside flaps. The painted pictures and signs stood as a welcome to anyone in Smallville or outside Smallville as tourists who wished to come inside and buy St. Patrick’s Day stickers, necklaces, headband antennae, T shirts to name a few of the many things for sale.

Lex, Chloe showed up at the event early at around 9:00 on that Saturday. Spending the morning there, they bought a few things that were fun in the tents. Alex begged to go on the Ferris Wheel, but since he was only five and a little guy they couldn’t take him on it this year. Chloe bent in front of him and offered instead to take him on a swing ride. Alex wasn’t too happy about having a “second best option,” until he got on with Chloe and they got to moving. From that moment, his entire outlook changed and he had an absolute ball! Lex stood with Lilly in her stroller and he watched. He watched Chloe, her smile and her excitement. The way Alex hollered with her and leaned into her and how she was so nurturing with him.

He moved into a criss-cross sitting position on the grass and talked with Lilly, pointing to the ride and finally when he wanted to hug her, he unhooked her and held her in his arms. Opening the diaper bag, he grabbed the bottle of Apple Juice and fed his girl as he watched the ride carry through to its finish.

Lex was feeding Lilly when Chloe and Alex walked up to him. Chloe watched with appreciation as she saw Lex being daddy and doing it so well.

Alex said, “Daddy we had fun!”

Lex looked up and said, “Good. I’m glad.” After burping Lilly, Lex set her back in her stroller and standing he said, “Anyone object to us leaving and spending the rest of today…at the Smallville Park?”

Alex frowned at first and said, “But dad, it’s fun here.”

Lex said, “We’ve already gone through everything, I’ve fixed food for lunch…and there are swings and I just might get on the see-saw with you.”

Excited about this since Alex loved the seesaw at the park, Alex took another look at the tents and things and said, “I’m ready.”
As Lex and Chloe walked back to the car, Chloe whispered mischievously, “What did you cook?”

Lex gave Chloe a confident smirk as he said, “You’ll just have to wait and see.”

Chloe playfully swatted his arm and then was drug to the car by Alex who said, “Come on, Chloe!”

Lex pushed Lilly the rest of the way, placed her inside her baby seat, hooked her belt and checked Alex’s. Chloe had let him try on his own at first, then helped when he asked for it. She climbed into her own front seat and was there when Lex sat next to her. He smiled and said, “Thank you, Chloe, for spending today with us.”

Chloe smiled back and said affectionately, “You’re welcome, Lex.” When the smile was long, Chloe turned to Alex and said, “I hope you’re having a good time, Alex.”

Alex said openly, “I’m having a great time!”

Chloe saw all of his stuffed animals and things he held and that were around him and she knew he had spent a great morning. She didn’t want Alex to catch on to the fact that Lex was smiling so long at her…or that she was smiling back as long with him. Happiness was innocent and Chloe had seen it that way for a long time, but Alex was five years old and he might not think it was…

So Chloe had turned to him to bring him into the conversation and she was glad she had.

Chloe looked at Lex again and saw he was arguing with his keys! She looked closely to see what was the problem and detecting it she said, “Lex, it might help to use your set instead of mine.” He had grabbed Chloe’s keys off the seat that she had set down earlier after cutting a nail that was bugging her. Lex blushed and said, “Son of a…” He caught himself though and said, “clown.”

Alex giggled in the back now too. He said, “Dad!”

Lex grinned and took the keys from Chloe that were his. He said, “Thanks, Chloe. I guess my mind’s not with me right now.”

Chloe grinned and said, “That’s okay, mine’s rarely ever with me.” She got Lex to chuckle, which was what she wanted, and she added, “But I will take over if you want. It’s no problem.”

Shaking his head, Lex said, “No, I’m good. I just was spacing off for a minute. But I’m good. Let’s go have some fun.”

So the four of them went to the park. They set up a picnic on a light blue checkered blanket Lex had bought yesterday at Wal Mart. He had truly fried chicken and bought Deli potatoes and Mac and cheese. He brought along some Kool-Aid for Alex and a six pack of Pepsi for he and Chloe to drink. Chloe and he both shared a like for Pepsi.

A crispy fresh smell was in the air that afternoon as they sat surrounded by trees and looking downward to a playground that Alex would surely get into and play later with Lex, he knew. In the meantime, Lex fed Lilly in her stroller and saw Alex swatting at flies from getting into his food. Chloe was wiping her shirt where she’d accidentally spilled food on it while talking and laughing. It felt like a fine early spring day, the snow was long ago melted and the weather was mid 50’s. They wore jeans and jackets, there was a tart breeze due to the transition between winter and spring still going on, but it was a really great day for all of them.

And even after Lex was home and the kids were asleep, Chloe back at her place, he still felt as happy and alive as he had when they went to the fairgrounds at 9:00 that morning. He smiled as he climbed into bed that night feeling a peace within his heart and a sense of gratefulness for having such a remarkable person involved in his and his children’s lives.

TBC…

[Kit Merlot]

This is just lovely! Chloe is becoming an essential part of Lex's and his kids lives.

Can't wait to see what happens next:D

[Nyx]

That was so sweet!!!!

Lex is finally starting to let go of Lana, and Alex clearly loves Chloe so everything is going to turn alright.

Great update and thanks Angie for posting that quickly.

[LexGirl]

Learning to Breathe Again
By, Angie
Rating: Adult
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Chapter Fifteen

Lex walked into the room and saw Chloe mingling. It was a party that Martha had held for a few close friends and family. But as he walked into the Kent living room, as he saw her smiling with a glass of wine in her right hand, he knew that he was completely lost. His friendship with Chloe had been building and he felt it every time he was around her. The events here lately just made it more of a certainty. And here she was her hair down along her shoulders in that style that Lex liked, that relaxed but pretty look that he saw as absolutely beautiful. Moving forward in the room, Lex walked past people visiting and having a good time with each other. He walked onward, ahead, to where she stood.

Lex felt warm. He felt as if he were in a boat, sailing at night, going forward and not seeing anything else except the one bright light richocheting off the lighthouse towerand for Lex that light was Chloe Sullivan. She stood there not knowing yet that he was walking right to her. He didn’t know if it was right completely, but he needed to be here with her.

Chloe looked over, hearing Lex and seeing him out of the corner of her eyes. She smiled instantly as she always did seeing him, which was enormously and honest. She said, “Lex.”

The girls Chloe had talked with moved on, talking to others in the living room and kitchen. One sought out the bathroom. Chloe couldn’t say what on earth she had been talking to them about. She was so happy seeing Lex here that she was focused on that alone.

Hugging him, she felt his arms go around her and she leaned into him, sliding her arms up his back and holding him too, and in the process smelling his Obsession cologne. Backing up after a few minutes, Chloe said, “You got all fancy.”

Lex grinned and said, “Not really, I just threw on some jeans, a sweater… sprayed some cologne on.”

Chloe said, “It’s nice.” She saw he was wearing nice blue jeans and an even nicer silver sweater that brought out the dark blue in his eyes. She said, “You look great, Lex.”

Lex grinned as he had years ago, before all the things that had happened, when he was sly and confident. He looked at Chloe’s black dress and said, “Thank you, Chloe. You dressed up quite a bit yourself.”

Chloe looked at what she was wearing, shrugged and said, “I wanted to look nice tonight.”

Lex said, “You look stunning, Chloe. Absolutely beautiful.”

Chloe blushed pretty and said, “Thank you…” People were looking in their nosy ways, but she didn’t care. Lex said, “It’s too bad there isn’t any music, or I’d be a real gentleman and ask you to dance.”

Chloe said spontaneously, “So ask me. I don’t need fancy music to dance to. Not when I’m happy.”

Lex said, “Chloe will you dance with me?”

Chloe smiled and handing him her hand she said, “Yes.”

Lex politely nudged a space, not that big, but big enough for he and his partner. And putting his arms around her, Lex began to dance with Chloe. Chloe put her arms around him and slid her feet forward, she looked up into Lex’s blue eyes and enjoyed the dance.

Clark shook his head, then watched as Lex and Chloe danced, noticing how closely they danced, how deeply they looked at one another and he knew there was something going on there…but he doubted it would be as cut and dry or romantic as it looked tonight. There were feelings involved, and he had this feeling that he would become a listening ear to one of them, maybe both before it was over.

TBC…

(I will add more soon! Please let me what you think!)

[Kit Merlot]

Thank you Angie!

I love that the Chlex romance is beginning--makes me smile how happy Lex is in Chloe's presence.

Can't wait for more:D

[Nyx]

Yeahhh now things are going on track romance is building up!!!

I think this Clark is smarter than the real one at lets not as obvious.

Keep going Angie!!!

[LexGirl]

Thanks guys!! :) I"m so happy you both like it! :) Well here is Chapter 16, it's pouring rain, but here ya go!

Learning to Breathe Again
By, Angie
Rating: Adult
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Chapter Sixteen

Lex awoke the next morning feeling that he had done the right thing by going to Martha’s party and dancing with Chloe. He took a risk, he knew he did, by doing it, but it was something that felt good at the time and still even as he lay beneath his silver sheets on his bed, he felt happy for dancing with Chloe. He sat up in bed and wiped the ackies from his eyes, looked in his bedroom and saw the outfit he had worn on the floor and he smiled thinking how nice it had felt having Chloe’s hands touching the back of his sweater.

Climbing out of bed, Lex walked downstairs to an empty house. Martha had kept Alex and Lilly last night. It was odd, but he smiled thinking of Chloe. Going to the fridge he grabbed his carton of orange juice and poured himself a glass. He looked at the kitchen clock and saw it said 8:10 AM. She was probably dead to the world, he thought with a laugh.

Walking in his boxers to the living room, Lex picked up his remote control and turned on some TV. He’d watch a little and then call her, see how she was doing. So he sat on the couch and he watched Good Morning America…and he looked at his black phone…and like a lovesick guy he dialed the phone!

Chloe was asleep, but hearing the phone ringing she picked up her phone by her bed and said, “Hello?”

Lex grinned and said, “Did I wake you?”

Chloe sat up in bed and said with a smile, “Can’t enjoy a morning of sleep can you?”

Lex said, “Nah, it is too engrained to get up at the crack of dawn and get to work. Right now though, I’m just getting alive, watching a little TV, and thinking about last night…”

Chloe smiled and pushed her blonde hair away and said, “Yeah?” Climbing from her bed she walked to the kitchen of her apartment and pushed the on button for her coffee maker to begin working.

Grabbing a bagel from the freezer, Chloe stuck her hand in the fridge and grabbed Strawberry crème cheese and walked to the table. Sitting in a yellow chair, she said, “Watching Good Morning America?”

Lex chuckled and said, “Yep, same old.” Hearing her eating he felt his stomach growl and said, “What are you eating?”

Chloe put her butter knife in the sink and walking back tot he table she said, “Sorry…I’m eating a strawberry bagel.”

Smiling, Lex said, “Sounds good. I am not sure if I have any of that in my fridge or I’d fix me one too.”

Chloe grinned slyly and said, “Well how about you come on over and I’ll fix you one?”

Lex grinned just as slyly and thought about Martha and wondered she’d mind if he took off for Chloe’s apartment. He said, “My kids are at Martha’s…”

Chloe took a bite and said, “Well Lex you know I love Alex and Lilly so if you want to bring them along, do it. I can fix them something to eat too.”

Lex knew he could do that, but he kind of liked the idea of going over by himself and having Chloe fix him a bagel. He told her he’d head over in a few and then hung up.

Throwing on his jeans and a Kansas Heartland T Shirt, Lex spotted Martha putting clothes on the line. She got up as early as he did, being a farmer’s wife. Lex shut the door behind him and walked across the yard and drive to Jonathan’s and her farmhouse. Stopping at the clothes line, he said, “Morning, Martha.”

Martha smiled and said, “Hello, Lex. Did you sleep well?”

Lex said, “Very. I was actually coming by to see how the kids were and to thank you again for keeping them.”

Martha gave her genuinely caring smile and said, “They were fine, Lex and you know you can bring them over anytime. Jonathan and I loved having them.”

Lex bit his lip and then said in a plotting little kid voice that was cute, “I called Chloe and she’s fixing bagels for breakfast. She offered to fix me one, but I wasn’t sure if the kids were up to bring them with me…I didn’t want to wake them.”

Martha grinned and said, “Lex it is no trouble to keep them while you go to Chloe’s and have breakfast.”

Lex grinned and looked off for a minute then said, “Well if it’s no trouble, then I might go and then come back for them. I appreciate it, Martha.”

Martha touched Lex’s forearm and said kindly, “Have a good time, Lex.”

Lex thanked her again and walked back to his truck. Climbing in it he drove over to Chloe’s apartment.

Chloe heard him knocking and walked across her small apartment.

Going to the door, she opened it and saw Lex standing there. Smiling largely she said, “Come in.”

Lex walked inside and closed the door behind him. He said, “Martha agreed to keep Lilly and Alex for awhile so we could have breakfast.”

Chloe laughed warmly and said, “Well that was nice of her.” Chloe invited Lex into the kitchen and said, “You can see where I do my re-heating and getting by.”

Lex stepped into the kitchen and saw a yellow table and matching chairs, a window that was open with a white and yellow set of curtains over it. He smelled the wonderful smell of Folgers coffee brewing and saw Chloe putting Strawberry on another bagel that she was making for him. He watched her make his bagel and hand it to him. Taking the bagel he thanked her and took a bite. Closing his eyes he moaned and said, “Oh that is wonderful!”

Chloe laughed and said, “I know! I go to the store and stock up on this stuff so I’m good to go whenever I want to have a morning snack.”

Lex said, “Remind me to write it down so I can get some when I go the store next. I want to have this more often.”

Chloe gestured for Lex to join her at the table. Lex sat next to her and said, “Thank you for inviting me over.”

Chloe said, “Anytime.”

They ate for a minute then Lex said, “How is your book coming along?”

Chloe grinned and said, “The same as it was yesterday, pretty steadily. I got some ideas as I lay down last night and wrote them on a notebook. I couldn’t help it. I remembered things that I’d not thought of when we were on our hunt on Lionel. I didn’t go to bed until after 2 AM.”

Lex saw Chloe smile so broadly and the affect on him was strong. He enjoyed her happiness and really enjoyed having breakfast here this morning with her. Smiling and shaking his head in a light manner, Lex said, “I sure can’t say anything about that, not when I spend just as many hours at times out in the barn, checking on my animals.”

Chloe finished her bagel and taking a drink of her coffee, she said, “The dance we had last night was really romantic, Lex.”

Lex smiled again and said, “Thank you, I thought it was romantic too.”

Chloe saw him drinking his coffee and eating his bagel and said, “Well I’m going to go change out of my pajamas and get into some real clothes. The remote is on the couch if you want to watch some TV.”

Lex called her name.

Chloe turned around and said, “Yes?”

Lex said, “I’m glad to be here…and I love these bagels with crème cheese.”

Chloe giggled and said, “Well I’m glad you’re here, too, Lex and I will definitely write down the name for you before you leave.” She laughed and heard Lex laugh as she left to change clothes.

!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!

Clark still thought about last night as well. He recalled watching them dancing and knowing that Lex was a great guy, and Chloe a great girl, but wondering if things weren’t going to be bumpy. OF course his negative thoughts could be because he himself was single and so misery enjoyed company. Apparently he was showing a mopey mood though because his mother accused him of being in a bad mood that morning when all she’d asked was if he’d got the paper off the front porch.

He was supposed to be positive since he liked mornings, but today he felt growly. What he really needed, he knew, was to get busy with his chores. And after he finished his own breakfast and saw his mother getting started with morning work and watching Alex and Lilly, he decided to get some farm work done. Alex wound up being his helper and he was glad to see him there. That brought his mood up 100%. Clark always liked being a big brother to a little guy and Alex Luthor was the greatest kid he knew…aside from Lilly who was a sweet angel, when mom changed her diapers and he was in charge of feeding her alone…

Chloe walked into the living room and saw Lex watching TV. She smiled and plopped on the couch beside him saying, “What did you find on TV?”

Lex showed her the Yankee show and she smiled and said, “Oh I love this show! He builds the greatest things I’ve ever seen.”

Lex said, “I don’t normally watch this, but it is really cool. I’ve written some things down to remember for when I decide to add more onto the barn.”

Chloe smiled at Lex and said, “Well when you decide to add another room, I’ll be there to help. I like being a helper in construction.”

Lex said, “So does Alex.”

Chloe saw him thinking about him with a smile and said with her own, “You can call over there if you want, Lex.”

Lex said, “I will, after we finish watching Yankee. Martha’s watching them.”

Chloe figured he’d call before it was over.

She was right.

But he did put his arm around her and snuggle on the couch. Somehow, though this was a new thing they were doing together, Chloe liked it. They were friends, but they were closer friends. Lex turned to Chloe as they watched and she talked about the work the guy on the TV was doing. Just watching her going on about the show had him wanting to listen, enjoying the time that they were spending on her couch.

Chloe turned to Lex and saw him looking at her interestedly and she liked it. She liked Lex. She smiled and said, “So what do you think about it?”

Lex said, “I’m not sure I can really say what I think about the builder. But I can say that I think you are a fascinating person, Chloe.”

Chloe was next to him and she looked up and siad, “Why is htat?”

She grinned, expecting something like that she ran on and on with her mouth and didn’t know when to let go of something. She’d heard that a lot from others.

But Lex said instead, “Because you are serious, not air-headed, you risk what others think by saying what you think. And you are a great bagel fixer.”

Laughing, Chloe said, “Well thank you, Lex. I like that I’m a good bagel fixer. That makes me feel very useful.”

Lex laughed with her and said, “You know what I mean.”

What was going on with them? Chloe wondered She liked him being here, she liked Lex a lot. But in her heart, Chloe wondered if he was leading her on some. Saying nice things as a friend but sounding like he was saying them as something else. She’d gotten that mass confusion from Clark. Chloe smiled at Lex and yet she wondered what he was thinking. Her conscience wondered what she was thinking as well. Lex had just gotten past knowing that Lana was gone. Now they were hanging out, saying flirting things with each other in her living room. Dancing at the Kent’s house at night.

But then again she could just be making mountains out of mohills. When Lex left, she called her cousin, Lois. She hadn’t said much to her in awhile, but maybe it would be good to get some sisterly advice. She needed to know what Lois thought about this. Of course Lois wasn’t home, so Chloe left a message on her machine.

And as she sat on the couch preparing to think about her plans, she thought about the recipe. Crap! She meant to give it to Lex. Picking up the phone, she called his phone.

Just talking to him on the phone helped Chloe realize that she liked him even more and yep, things were changing. Dang it, Lois, call me back!

TBC…

[Kit Merlot]

Great update!

It makes sense for Chloe to be a little thrown by Lex's flirting with her--she is used to see him simply as a friend, and as a grieving family man.

But Chloe does still like him, and I hope her talk with Lois will demonstrate how much :grin3:

[Nyx]

They should have more mornings like that. He is soooo falling for her.

Chloe definitely need to talk to Lois so she'll sort out her feelings.

And what was wrong with Clark? Does he now realize he has feelings not in a friendly way toward Chloe, well to late buddy.

more more more!!!!

[LexGirl]

THanks guys for your feedback! :) This is a little more romantic, but hopefully just the right amount...:)

Learning to Breathe Again
By, Angie
Rating: Adult
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Chapter Seventeen

Two months later…

Lex looked as sharp as he always did. His eyes looked upward as he took a drink of his Mountain Dew. It was another day on the farm and he was working in his dark blue jeans and his white tank top that was covered utterly in Lex sweat from hard work. His shoulders and his arms were a dark tan and to Chloe he looked like one of those hot guys you see on the TV advertising a cold beer. Chloe wanted to get a drink of his Mountain Dew because her throat was dry from watching him so directly, so out right.

She looked down over his flat stomach, down to his jeans and saw pretty well every part of him that his jeans would let her see! She liked that and smiled slyly, shamelessly. Lois had called her back and told her that moving on was what Lex needed to do and if she liked him then go for it. Okay so she didn’t say it word for word like that since Lois thought Lex was no better than pond vermin, but she did say to do what her gut was telling her to do.

So right now she stood, letting her body gaze at his sexiness and she crossed her arms over her chest, drooling!

It was 5:40 PM. Chloe had stopped her bug to talk with Martha, to see Clark…then she saw Lex standing there drinking some of his Mountain Dew. She watched him guzzling and she stood and watched seductively, okay feeling seduced by how he looked and how he stood there so Texas Ranger like.

Lex finally turned, feeling someone looking at him. He looked with more precision at her and with his own feelings of curiosity. He said, “Chloe?”

But Chloe may as well have kept staring because when she tried to say hi to him, she sounded like she’d swallowed a gulp of a Rice-Crispy Treat and was still trying to get it down! She uttered something ridiculous and as she moved forward, didn’t see the dip and twisted her ankle.

Cussing she hobbled forward until Lex jogged over and put his arms around her, picking her up. Maybe it was strange, but Chloe liked being carried by Lex. She liked him walking her to his house and setting her down. It felt romantic.

Lex set her down and said, “Find a seat and get off your foot. I’ll get you something to set on it, some ice.”

Chloe gave Lex a rolled eye expression and said, “Lex I twist my ankle all the time. I’ve done it since I was a kid. Where are the kids?”

Lex said, “Martha’s. She is watching them while I do my farm work.” Grinning largely he said, “So…” Looking down into Chloe’s eyes, he said, “What brings Chloe here?”

Chloe was locked on his eyes and she didn’t say a word for a second. She touched his shirt though and then turned away when he touched her fingers. She felt caught and embarrassed.

Looking back at Lex, Chloe said, “I was on a drive to visit with Martha…then I saw you out there working…I stopped.”

Lex reached her fingers again on her right hand and clasping them he looked deeply into her blue eyes and said, “I’m glad.”

Chloe looked headlong into Lex’s face, into his ocean blue eyes. She saw him looking back and she knew that he knew…he knew that she liked him.

Lex moved his hand to her shirt and looking into her eyes he lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her.

Closing her eyes, Chloe could tell that Lex was still there, he was still so close to her that she wasn’t but a hair away and she knew she could grab his shirt and kiss him back, she knew it. And she wanted to. But she turned around and said, “Lex…what’s going on here?”

Lex said simply, “I kissed you…”

Chloe said, “Lois told me that it was fine to like you, to have these thoughts…but I thought you didn’t like me that way…it felt safe to look at you across the field.”

Lex chuckled sexily and said, “So you were watching…”

Chloe turned around and looking at him she said, “Yes…”

Lex rose his brows again and said, “Chloe?”

Chloe said, “Yes?”

Lex said, “I watch you too.”

Staring back then breaking into a private smile, Chloe said, “I see…so what do you think about it?”

Lex moved forward and said, “I think I’m glad that you like looking at me too. It feels better to have the person you’re ogling looking back too.”

Agreeing about that, Chloe said, “So…”

Lex put his hands on her tanned shoulders and staring into Chloe’s blue eyes he said, “So…”

Lowering his lips, Lex kissed Chloe on the mouth. Chloe put her hands on his shirt, holding it, and looking up, she opened her pink mouth and when he came back again she kissed him back…

TBC…

[Kit Merlot]

This was lovely! Good for Chloe for listening to Lois and letting Lex know that she liked him:D

The romance has now begun--WOO HOO!!

[Nyx]

yeahhh finally!!! They both admited their feelings, and all because of a twisted ankle.

Keep going...

[LexGirl]

Thank you guys for your wonderful feedback throughout this story! Here is the long awaited conclusion to Learning to Breathe Again...hope you like it! :)

Learning to Breathe Again
By, Angie
Rating: Adult
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!
Chapter Eighteen

Lex took Chloe on walks through the country part of town where they could see cows in herds, mooing, and eating grass. Within fences, Lex and Chloe saw white horses galloping over beautiful green pastures. They saw farmers outside feeding their pigs and chickens. Holding hands and walking down the dirt road they saw farmers wives hanging clothes on the lines, children playing on swing sets, one little boy chasing his dog, a little girl playing hop scotch. Chloe put her arm around Lex and smiled, thinking about Alex and Lilly. They were young too and one day they would be outside in the backyard, on the farm, playing, chasing each other. Chloe said wistfully, “Someday that will be Alex and Lilly, Lex.”

Lex grinned at Chloe and said, “With you carrying another baby in your belly and telling them to be careful.”

Grinning even larger, Chloe said, “Lex! Do you expect I’ll be wearing a blue maternity dress, and putting clothes on the line someday?”

Lex looked lovingly at Chloe and said, “Expect? No, Chloe, I don’t expect things, I hope for them. It is my hope that one day you will move into the farm and together that we will have more children together. I love you, Chloe.”

Chloe felt her throat getting warm again and her heart as well as she said, “Lex…I love you too.”

Walking to a brown fence on the side of the road with wild grass and sunflowers growing beneath them, Lex looked at Chloe and said romantically, “Chloe Sullivan, will you marry me?”

Chloe grinned innocently and said with a teary face, “Yes, Lex. I will marry you!”

Lowering his face, Lex did what he never thought he’d do again in his life, he kissed the woman he wanted to marry…a loving person that had been there for him throughout his worst times. A woman who he wanted to plant gardens with, share events with his kids with, continue having a family with and walk in the country with just because he loved her. For Lex, he never thought he’d be happy again, or never have the will to live again. But it was Chloe Sullivan who had been there, Chloe who had helped him in the process of Learning to Breathe Again…

The End.

[Kit Merlot]

That was a great ending!

Chloe has always been there for Lex, and I love that he finally saw her for the wonderful woman she is:D

Great job on finishing this story, Angie:grin3:

[LexGirl]

Thank-you! :) You are right! She was always there for him...:)

[lexie]

I absolutely loved this fic. Lex has always deserved to be happy and after so much pain and heartbreak in his life, having someone like Chloe beside him to see his children- and why not their own children- grow up is a dream come true.
:blinkkiss

[LexGirl]

Thank you, Lexie!! :) I'm glad you enjoyed reading this story!! :) I agree, I think that Lex does deserve happiness and Chloe is a great girl to give it to him! :)

[Nyx]

Beautiful ending!!! They deserve it after so much pain.

Great work Angie.

[LexGirl]

Thank you, Nyx! *hugs* :)

[lexie]

Why has this fic ended in the graveyard???!!!:wth:

It´s finished and the rating´s up there, folks.

[LexGirl]

Thank you guys for your wonderful feedback!!! It is much appreciated - I'm not sure how this story wound up in the Graveyard since it was completed, but anyway, I see that it's fixed and back here so thank you whoever put it back! And once again thank you everyone who's read the story! :)

[Ami Rose]

Sad but cute. Nice story.

[ermelindis]

I just discovered this story. It looks very interesting.