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Sandy
10th October 2005, 03:38
Soda Machine
Summary: Lex has an encounter w/ a soda machine and w/ Chloe afterwards
Rating: R for language
Disclaimers: Don’t own anything
A/n: Based on a true experience except with the smashing part. The stupid soda machine ate my money at church damn it!

Lex walked to the soda machine in Luthorcorp to get a hit of caffeine. He was having a stressful day and he needed a pick me up. Chloe was due to arrive any minute now. $0.60? I should lower it to free. He thought before he put in his money. He put $0.60 in the machine and hit the coke button. He waited for a few seconds. No soda came tumbling down the machine with a thud. Lex gave a frustrated glare to the machine. He pushed the button again. Still no soda came out of the machine. Lex has always said that he was a patient man. Well patience was screwing his ass right now. He pushed the button repeatedly out of his impatience. He looked around to see if anyone was looking. There was no one in the hallway but he knew the camera’s were on. He didn’t care because he could afford a new soda machine if this one “accidentally” got damaged. He kicked the machine giving it a slight dent. Still no soda came out of the machine. Anger pierced his face.

“Don’t fuck with me!” He demanded sternly.
“I’m your boss and you will give me that damn soda!” He snarled.

He found a long metal object on the floor. Some janitor must’ve dropped it from the previous night. An idea quickly flashed through his mind. An evil smile spread across his face. He went to pick up the metal object. He stood in front of the machine, gripped the metal object like a bat.

“Eat metal bitch.” He wacked the machine several times yelling and screaming for the machine to give him his precious caffeine. After a few minutes he wiped the sweat from his brow.
“Had enough?” No reply came from the inanimate object that stood before him. Lex was enraged at this machine. He could hear it laughing mechanically at him. He could almost see a smile on it. If machines had smiles or mechanic laughs. The machine had several small dents but soon would have large dents from the enraged Luthor. He smashed the metal object repeatedly until some of the plastic broke. He threw the metal object on the floor, gripped the machine on both sides with his hands and pushed the machine on the floor. It landed on its side with a crash, the plug snapped out. Out came Lex’s coke. Lex gave a half smile.

“I told you not to fuck with me.” He said like he did a job well done. He took the coke out and opened his can. Chloe saw him as she walked down the hall. Before he could take a sip Chloe interrupted him.

“Whoa. What happen to the soda machine?” Chloe asked freaked out and went to investigate. Lex pretended like nothing happen. He could afford a new one anyway. He was actually thinking of sending this one to the death chair.
“Oh some maniac with a crow bar came in and started smashing it like crazy.” He said that as nonchalant and as sarcastic as possible, then took a sip of his precious caffeine. Chloe had a confused look on her face while she squatted down looking at the piece of broken machinery lie on the floor. She caught him with his soda then put two and two together.
“Or an enraged boss beat the crap out of it.” She cracked a smile and so did he.
“I can afford a new one. Besides I own Luthorcorp if your not mistaken.” Chloe tilted her head as her reply.
“Lex, don’t get smart.” She got up off the floor. She took his arm and they walked out leaving the piece of filth on the floor for the night janitor to clean up.

The End!
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I feel better... actually I think I'd feel better if I got my sixty cents back.. *grrr*.... anyways what'd you think????

w1cked
10th October 2005, 08:20
i want a copy of that surveillance tape - that's what i think!

hfce
10th October 2005, 15:43
LOL! That was cute. I loved it.


Hope :)

starmoon
10th October 2005, 22:54
very interesting and a little scary. lex must have been realy mad to lose his cool like that i just hope noone else sees the camara footage and puts it on the news.

Sandy
11th October 2005, 04:43
Me gots ideas for a sequel.. ;)

FroggyJump
11th October 2005, 07:57
Fun and Cute. You know when you see people taking their frustrations out on the vending machines and you just smile knowing that's going to bug them for the rest of the day.

Roundaboutgrl
13th October 2005, 02:23
Funny, good job!


-K

Natasha
17th October 2005, 01:38
Great Story.... Did you say sequel? Can't WAIT

itsjustXchar
19th February 2006, 09:08
Adorable!

persephone47
19th February 2006, 17:57
cute *goes off to read sequel*

Pieper
18th May 2006, 00:30
Good job.

Nonhalema
30th May 2007, 12:37
love it...loving my ass of here *on my way to sequel*

somethingeasy
30th May 2007, 13:00
ROTFLMAO! oh MY! This was hilarious, and I LOVED reading about what happens when Lex finally lets go of all that pent-up hostility within. This is a side of Lex that he usually keeps well-controlled and carefully repressed, but that would only result in volcanic explosions of temper tantrums like this one. heh, at least noone got hurt, except for a soda-machine that definitely had it coming.

I thought it was really funny that Lex was so nonchalant about the idea of replacing and buying a whole new soda machine, but he really, REALLY couldn't let go of that ONE soda that he paid 60 cents for. LOL! Typical Luthor priorities.

Ami Rose
18th March 2018, 14:41
“Oh some maniac with a crow bar came in and started smashing it like crazy.”

Lmao I couldn't stop laughing! Great fic!