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Queen Of Tact
14th July 2005, 04:04
This is for my friend who's always been there for a chat or two in the early morning and is doing the greatest thing a person can do for another---be a lifeline to a site that I love with all my heart, N.S., which I can't get into at the moment. So, CC, thank you from the bottom of my heart----you are our one in a billion, sweetie. Enjoy, everybody. And CC, Happy Birthday!

Title: Belated Birthday Fic For CC - "On The Outside, Looking In"

Author: PMD

e-mail: mary.davidson@sympatico.ca

Rating: R/M

Category: Friendship, Chlex, slight Clana, futurefic, Lex's POV, AU

Spoilers: Anything is fair game in Smallville.

Summary: It's Chloe's birthday.

Disclaimer: To whomever owns Smallville, its characters, Pig Latin, a saying from Love Story, and the song lyrics to True, I'm just borrowing them, will give them back, not making any money with their use in this piece, so don't sue me.

Archive: At BtS, BT2, Electricchlex, MD, N.S. Forums, SPP, and WBFFZ, for the time being. If anybody else wants it, all they have to do is ask.

Feedback: Yes I would love feedback.

Author Notes: This is a belated birthday present for my friend, CC, who's one of the kindest, most gentlest souls I've ever known. And yet can turn into Chloe or Lex, when provoked. Enjoy.

Belated Birthday Fic For CC - "On The Outside, Looking In" - by PMD


Prologue: I look into a world that sometimes I feel not a part of---like on the outside, looking in.

~

Outside The Talon

I slam the car door, wishing my father's hand was in it. Damn it---Lex, why do you let him get to you like this?

I dust off the imaginary scent of him and let out a sigh. Okay---happy thoughts---Chloe's birthday. Inside the Talon---oh my God---Chloe's birthday---her present. Where's her present? Shit---father, I hate you!

I stride over to the window and look in. On the outside looking in again, eh, Lex?

Somehow, even in a crowded room, I sense where she is. And this is no exception---except it is easier today, since she is surrounded by her friends, opening presents.

She smiles at the new laptop from Clark and Lana. Must has been saving money for month's, guys. You are good friends.

I watch as she opens another and smiles at the stuffed dog before her. She looks at her father and grins. Couldn't get her a real dog, so stuffed is just as good for them both.

She opens another and sighs, bringing out a rust dress; her father again, it seems. With the help of Lana of course.

She opens a couple more presents from her friends and then it's all over. She gets up, gives hugs to all and sighs, looking around. I duck away, when she looks out to where I was standing.

I hide in the shadows and find myself thinking how important she has become to me---somebody to verbal with. Somebody to protect from my father; to play hero for. Somebody to hold her when a boyfriend turned bad. And I find myself wondering if it's possible---that I have a chance with her. But I don't know---my father is still a threat. Am I strong enough to be on the outside looking in and always be that way---keep my distance, romantically?

"Hey!" causes me to jump back in surprise.

I look into her amused hazel eyes. "The parties inside, Luthor."

"I'll be in---as soon as my heart starts beating again."

She looks at me, worried. Then she moves closer, putting her ear to my chest, seeking out the tell tale heart, beating faster than before.

"Chloe?"

She backs away, with an inquisitive look. "Yes, Lex?"

"I'm sorry."

"About what? Being late? That's okay."

"No, it's not."

"Okay---it's not okay but you made it, almost."

"Help me---the rest of the way."

She looks at me, her eyes searching mine and then gasps.

"Lex, why are you so scared of me?"

I snort at her. "Scared---of a little thing like you---please."

"Oh oh, I've pushed your button."

"What?"

"When I used to work for your father---there was this button I could always push to get him upset with me."

"I'm not upset with you. I'm---upset with myself."

"Why?"

"Because---because I forgot to get you a present."

"But you did."

"I did?"

"Yeah, you showed up. That's all I wanted from you."

It takes a lot to startle a Luthor and friendship with no strings---that definitely does it. "Really?"

"Well, yeah. You're my best friend and it wouldn't be a party without you here. Well, you're almost here. So, come on, Buddy---the night is still young but it's getting older by the minute."

She offers me her hand like she's done before---first her hand of friendship and now---I have to know. For some reason tonight, I have to know.

I take it but instead of allowing myself to be lead into the world inside, I stand still.

"Lex---inside---party---what's wrong?"

I gently pull her to me, into a hug. "Chloe, I want to give you something else for your birthday?"

"Yes?" I hear her muffled question.

I back away, a shy grin on my face.

"The chance to never be alone," I state, before leaning down and capturing her lips.

I expect reluctance---maybe even to be pushed away. But instead, her arms encircle my waist and make their way up to my head, caressing me there and causing me to moan and her soft tongue to enter my mouth.

We duel for a couple of minutes until we have to breathe. As she backs away, she's got a shy grin too.

"Thank you. This is the best second gift I could have ever gotten."

I smile at this. Then I take her hand and lead her towards the door. Before I open it, I ask:

"Sure you want to go in?"

"Yes---I want to show off my new boyfriend---who just so happens to be my best friend too. Besides, he owes me another gift---since it's customary for the boyfriend to give more than a Dad."

"I do? Let's see---being here is one gift; friendship another. And love---another." Damn---I said the word---here it comes.

"Oh God, oh God, oh God," she wails, pulling away and grabbing at the door.

She walks in, me following close behind.

"Chloe, what's wrong?" I hear Clark ask, walking up to us. "What did you do, Lex?"

"I---"

"He said he loves me," she squeaks out.

"And?" Clark asks.

"What? He said he loves me!"

"Yeah, so?"

"What?" we both verbal.

"Nobody in this room is blind to that fact, except you two."

"What!?!"

"It's true what they say; love is blind---but usually to the two who are in love, not their friends or family," Gabe says, walking up to us.

He glances at me and then looks at Chloe. "Honey, don't you have something to say in return?"

She widens her eyes and then turns to me, and with a sob:

"This better not be a dream."

"Are we in bed, making love?" I quip.

"Hey, ixnay on the beday ookay."

"Pig Latin---I forgot how much fun that was to decipher," I quip again.

She laughs at that and then turns serious, standing in front of me. "Lex, don't break my heart."

"Don't break mine---say the words."

She closes her eyes and then opens them, her signature smile on her face. "I will love you till the day I die and haunt you with my love, if I go before you."

"I've always wanted to know what it felt like---being in love with a writer. Now---"

"---you do?" she asks me.

"Now, I do," I reply, leaning down, kissing her gently on the lips.

As we back away, I see this look on Clark's face.

"What?" I ask.

"Well, it's customary that the boyfriend sing for his girl on her birthday. And you aren't going to get out of this one, my friend."

I smile and then look at her again. "So?"

"You choose."

I kiss her once more on the lips and then lead her to where she had been sitting before. The other's join her as I walk over to the karoake machine. I look at the list of songs and find the one I need the most at this very moment. Yes, it's time to sing for the love of my life.

I gesture to Clark to help me. He comes up and I whisper to him. He backs away:

"Good song."

He walks over to the machine and I make my way to the mike.

"Well, sorry I was late for the festivities but I ran into a roadblock on the way here---you might know him---my father; the Monster of Metropolis."

Laughter is heard and then:

"Sing already---you're better at that then the jokes, Luthor."

"Oh really, Ms. Sullivan. I played a joke on myself, by getting involved with you."

"No, I did, but we won't go into that now. Just sing, will you, Alex."

"Whatever my lady wants, she'll get on this special day."

"Well---maybe your father's head on a platter next year."

"I'll try."

"Ready, Lex?"

I turn to smile at Clark. "Not sure but here goes something."

Clark turns to the audience:

"Ladies and gentlemen---and honored birthday girl; for your listening pleasure---Lex Luthor, singing True. And don't blame me, if he sings off-key."

He looks back at me and I give him a smart-ass smirk. He just gives it back to me.

Then he pushes the button and leaves the stage, to join his love, Lana. I take a deep breath and sing my heart out---and all the feelings I have for her:



"I won't talk
I won't breathe
I won't move 'til you finally see
That you belong with me


You might think I don't look
But deep inside the corner of my mind
I'm attached to you
I'm weak, it's true
'Cause I'm afraid to know the answer
Do you want me too?
'Cause my heart keeps falling faster


I've waited all my life
To cross this line
To the only thing that's true
So I will not hide
It's time to try
Anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true


You don't know what you do
Everytime you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move
I'm weak, it's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
Do you see me too?
Do you even know you met me?


I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing that's true
So I will not hide
It's time to try
Anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true


I know when I go
I'll be on my way to you
The way that's true


I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing that's true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited


This is true"


As the song ends, she jumps out of the chair and runs up to me, almost bowling me over with her enthusiasm.

"Lex, I feel the same way too. I won't ever feel any other way. I'm---"

I back away, smiling at her. "Love means never saying you're sorry. Happy Birthday, Sweetheart."

"God, I love you, so much. You are the one thing in my life that is true."

As I lean in to kiss her, I know that it's true for me too. And that I will never be on the outside, looking in, ever again---because of this woman in my arms. For she alone, accepted me---when I was good and when I was bad. As I did her too. And isn't that what true love is---loving a person---faults and all. This statement alone will always ring true for us---forever.

The End.

bluengreenswmer
14th July 2005, 05:34
That was great! I loved the song.....felt like it really communicated what Lex wanted it to...

:) So sweet.

Queen Of Tact
19th July 2005, 00:29
From PMD


Hey bluengreenswmer:

Awwww---glad you enjoyed it, sweetie. : ) And I feel so inspired to write, when I find the perfect song for them----glad this song touched your heart and you found it great for communicating what Lex was trying to say. : )

starmoon
6th October 2005, 21:15
that was a great story and so sweet and funny too.

PMD
16th October 2005, 08:05
Glad you enjoyed it, Starmoon. :)

Donutte
19th October 2005, 16:12
That was a great story! I loved reading it! It gave me that warm fuzzy feeling inside that I love to get when reading... Kudos!!

PMD
19th October 2005, 23:28
Hey Donutte:

Glad you loved this piece. Everytime I hear that song up there or read this story over again, I start to cry. And wish that maybe this could happen on the show but then, if it won't happen there, we'll have it happening in fanfic, all us Chlex writers, that is. :) Glad it gave you the warm fuzzies, like your story gave mine today. And I see there's a second half to it---something to read after dinner. :)

Ami Rose
17th March 2018, 09:46
Cute! Great song choice!