fulolansu
3rd July 2005, 13:57
thanks to sabby who help me to translate this fic from french to english :blinkkiss
diclamer : nothing belongs to me
If your heart stopped beating I would give you mine, after all, without you it is of no use to me anymore.
I remember this terrible day as if it was yesterday, even though it’s been almost two years now since it happened. Two years in which every night, I have the same nightmare that I have really lived.
I feel the same pain that I felt because of its blade, the same suffering that went straight to my heart. An immense pain which is extends through my entire being… And the person, who did this to me as she went away, had left me there, broken, in the middle of the road.
The siren of the arriving ambulance, the chaos that starts happening right in front of my eyes, and you who appears, superb as usual, you speak but I hear nothing, and then everything fades to black.
And I wake up in this hospital room, you are here, near me, your concern is plainly written on your face, you call the doctor, and it’s here that I am given the bad news: I have to undergo heart surgery and need an implant, because mine is too damaged to be able to function.
He also tells me that I have the blood group rarest in the world and that there is little chance that he can find me a heart. Then, he tells me to rest and he leaves. I cannot believe my ears, I will die, at my age, I am still too young.
You are here, leaning against the wall then you approach. You give me a kiss and tell me that you love me, but that it is necessary that you have to take care of some business before you can come back. My heart burns and unconsciously I know that you won’t return. I rest and I sleep; I wake up only when the doctor says that he has very good news, that he has a heart for me and that I should be operated as soon as possible.
I ask him and beg him to wait for you. He accepts, and for a seemingly never-ending hour I wait. I can feel that you have abandoned me, you don’t want an injured woman as girlfriend, I must surely make you feel ashamed, since you don’t return.
Going against my heart I agree to begin the operation without you, but I don’t have any more hope, I know that I will never see you again. You surely hid with another, you don’t look at me, I am your past. And then as soon as I can leave the hospital, I return home to mourn you, you my love who didn’t support me in this trial.
The doorbell rings, my father has already left to go to work. When I open the door, the mailman hands me a letter. I recognize your writing, I open the envelope gently, I am afraid of what it might say and I see written in your hand these few words: If your heart stopped beating I would give you mine, after all, without you it’d of no use to me anymore. I love you, forever.
And it is by reading that I understand, the heart that I have now was not on of chance, it was your heart, you had the same blood group as I do. This is the reason why you never returned, the reason why you will never return again...
My love, you sacrificed yourself for me, because of that I cannot want you, but to live without you isn’t living anymore. For two years now that same nightmare has haunted my nights. I know what I have to do, because without you I don’t exist. You have given your heart to me, now I must give you mine.
diclamer : nothing belongs to me
If your heart stopped beating I would give you mine, after all, without you it is of no use to me anymore.
I remember this terrible day as if it was yesterday, even though it’s been almost two years now since it happened. Two years in which every night, I have the same nightmare that I have really lived.
I feel the same pain that I felt because of its blade, the same suffering that went straight to my heart. An immense pain which is extends through my entire being… And the person, who did this to me as she went away, had left me there, broken, in the middle of the road.
The siren of the arriving ambulance, the chaos that starts happening right in front of my eyes, and you who appears, superb as usual, you speak but I hear nothing, and then everything fades to black.
And I wake up in this hospital room, you are here, near me, your concern is plainly written on your face, you call the doctor, and it’s here that I am given the bad news: I have to undergo heart surgery and need an implant, because mine is too damaged to be able to function.
He also tells me that I have the blood group rarest in the world and that there is little chance that he can find me a heart. Then, he tells me to rest and he leaves. I cannot believe my ears, I will die, at my age, I am still too young.
You are here, leaning against the wall then you approach. You give me a kiss and tell me that you love me, but that it is necessary that you have to take care of some business before you can come back. My heart burns and unconsciously I know that you won’t return. I rest and I sleep; I wake up only when the doctor says that he has very good news, that he has a heart for me and that I should be operated as soon as possible.
I ask him and beg him to wait for you. He accepts, and for a seemingly never-ending hour I wait. I can feel that you have abandoned me, you don’t want an injured woman as girlfriend, I must surely make you feel ashamed, since you don’t return.
Going against my heart I agree to begin the operation without you, but I don’t have any more hope, I know that I will never see you again. You surely hid with another, you don’t look at me, I am your past. And then as soon as I can leave the hospital, I return home to mourn you, you my love who didn’t support me in this trial.
The doorbell rings, my father has already left to go to work. When I open the door, the mailman hands me a letter. I recognize your writing, I open the envelope gently, I am afraid of what it might say and I see written in your hand these few words: If your heart stopped beating I would give you mine, after all, without you it’d of no use to me anymore. I love you, forever.
And it is by reading that I understand, the heart that I have now was not on of chance, it was your heart, you had the same blood group as I do. This is the reason why you never returned, the reason why you will never return again...
My love, you sacrificed yourself for me, because of that I cannot want you, but to live without you isn’t living anymore. For two years now that same nightmare has haunted my nights. I know what I have to do, because without you I don’t exist. You have given your heart to me, now I must give you mine.