Reese
20th January 2005, 09:05
Title: Maybe...Maybe Not
Author: Reese
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: They're not mine...blah blah blah...wish they were...blah blah blah.
Spoilers: I've only seen through S3 but I'm pretty sure this story could happen pretty much anytime in the first three seasons, so no particular spoilers.
Author's Notes: OK, so please forgive me. I'm not quite sure where this came from but my muse is tired of working on 5 different stories at once so she finished this one in a single sitting and wanted to share it. Heck, it's not even beta'd but you see, you don't know my muse. She can get pretty insistent from time to time...
So can we just consider this a warm-up exercise since it's my first fic posted here at NS? :blush:
***
“You should have told me.”
“Because that would have changed things?”
“Maybe.”
“It wasn’t worth ‘maybe’ to me.”
“It would have been worth everything to me.”
He turned to say something but she was already gone.
***
“I’m glad you came.”
“Did I have a choice?”
She looked away, somewhat stung by his words. “I guess not.”
“I’m…Look, I’m sorry. It’s just…”
“Hard?”
He nodded, looking out the window in the hallway, trying not to look at her. He didn’t want to see her in that dress. It signified everything he’d given up…everything he’d lost.
She spoke again. “It’s so hard I…I don’t know if I can do this.”
His jaw clenched and it took all of his might not to look down at her.
“Don’t say that.”
“It’s true.”
He could feel her looking up at him, could even picture the look in her eyes…but still, he didn’t look down.
He was strong, he knew that. But he also knew he wasn’t that strong.
Especially when it came to her.
“I should go.”
Silence.
Then resignation. “Yeah, maybe you should.”
***
“Are you happy?”
“Don’t I look it?” Her words were an invitation for him to look...really look at her.
He didn’t like what he saw.
“Is he…I mean, is everything OK?”
“Everything is as should be expected, I guess.”
She was talking in riddles. It was driving him mad.
“Jesus, Chloe…just give me a straight answer. Does he make you happy?”
She shrugs as she gets up from where they sit. “Yeah, I guess…maybe.”
He goes to say something about how he hates her always using that word but she’s already turned her back on him.
Just like he did to her all of those years ago in an attempt to protect her.
He wonders now if he would have done the same thing then knowing what he does now.
He can’t help but laugh at his mind’s answer: maybe.
***
“Is she going to be OK?” He’s almost out of breath and for some reason he doesn’t care whom, if anyone, notices.
“They don’t know yet. Maybe…”
He just stares at the other man and knows…knows he didn’t utter the last of that sentence.
Maybe not.
“Is there anything I can do?”
The other man hesitates. He seems uncertain about what’s coming next.
“Clark? Is there anything I can do?”
“She’s been asking for you.” Just saying it seems to hurt him.
Lex stiffens at the words and the tension it causes between the two of them. “May I see her?”
“Of course. I’ll…I’ll be out here if she needs anything.” Clark just nods and walks away, leaving Lex alone to compose himself before entering the room.
She’s strapped to the bed in front of him and there’s a man sitting in the corner watching her.
The sight of it almost makes him sick.
“Get out.”
“I’m sorry, sir, but…”
“Get out.” He casts one of his most severe looks upon the man who hesitates and then slinks out of the room.
“So you’ve still got it, huh Luthor?” She smiles up at him and the clarity of her voice confuses him. Wasn’t she supposed to be…?
“How are you?”
“How do I look?” There it is again, that challenge to really look at what her life’s become. But now the challenge is uttered with a soft smile that seems to signal a surrender of some kind.
“I’m sorry.”
“You should be.”
He purses his lips together and tries to figure out how to respond but she speaks again, this time rolling her head away from him and looking out the window.
“It doesn’t matter, it’ll all be over soon enough.”
He sits down on the bed next to her, taking one of her pinned hands in his. “Chloe, what do you mean? Clark said…”
“Clark doesn’t know anything. He’s kept his secrets and I’ve kept mine.” She still doesn’t look at him when she speaks. “I guess that’s something we all shared in the end, isn’t it?” She finally turns and settles her gaze upon him. “The ability to keep secrets.”
“Chloe, I never meant for this to happen. If I would have known…”
“No, Lex. It’s not a matter of whether or not you knew but whether or not you trusted…in me, in us.” She rolls away again, breaking what little connection they’d managed in the passing moments. “And you didn’t…so here we are.”
“Chloe, please.” The words are full of desperation and love and need, everything she ever wanted to hear from him.
But they’re too late.
She’s too far gone to come back.
Not even for him.
“You should go, Lex.” She keeps her eyes on the window but he can hear the tears in her voice.
“I’ll come back tomorrow. Will you see me again?”
“Maybe…”
He gets up to leave but hesitates in the doorway as he hears her last words to him.
“Maybe not.”
***
Author: Reese
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: They're not mine...blah blah blah...wish they were...blah blah blah.
Spoilers: I've only seen through S3 but I'm pretty sure this story could happen pretty much anytime in the first three seasons, so no particular spoilers.
Author's Notes: OK, so please forgive me. I'm not quite sure where this came from but my muse is tired of working on 5 different stories at once so she finished this one in a single sitting and wanted to share it. Heck, it's not even beta'd but you see, you don't know my muse. She can get pretty insistent from time to time...
So can we just consider this a warm-up exercise since it's my first fic posted here at NS? :blush:
***
“You should have told me.”
“Because that would have changed things?”
“Maybe.”
“It wasn’t worth ‘maybe’ to me.”
“It would have been worth everything to me.”
He turned to say something but she was already gone.
***
“I’m glad you came.”
“Did I have a choice?”
She looked away, somewhat stung by his words. “I guess not.”
“I’m…Look, I’m sorry. It’s just…”
“Hard?”
He nodded, looking out the window in the hallway, trying not to look at her. He didn’t want to see her in that dress. It signified everything he’d given up…everything he’d lost.
She spoke again. “It’s so hard I…I don’t know if I can do this.”
His jaw clenched and it took all of his might not to look down at her.
“Don’t say that.”
“It’s true.”
He could feel her looking up at him, could even picture the look in her eyes…but still, he didn’t look down.
He was strong, he knew that. But he also knew he wasn’t that strong.
Especially when it came to her.
“I should go.”
Silence.
Then resignation. “Yeah, maybe you should.”
***
“Are you happy?”
“Don’t I look it?” Her words were an invitation for him to look...really look at her.
He didn’t like what he saw.
“Is he…I mean, is everything OK?”
“Everything is as should be expected, I guess.”
She was talking in riddles. It was driving him mad.
“Jesus, Chloe…just give me a straight answer. Does he make you happy?”
She shrugs as she gets up from where they sit. “Yeah, I guess…maybe.”
He goes to say something about how he hates her always using that word but she’s already turned her back on him.
Just like he did to her all of those years ago in an attempt to protect her.
He wonders now if he would have done the same thing then knowing what he does now.
He can’t help but laugh at his mind’s answer: maybe.
***
“Is she going to be OK?” He’s almost out of breath and for some reason he doesn’t care whom, if anyone, notices.
“They don’t know yet. Maybe…”
He just stares at the other man and knows…knows he didn’t utter the last of that sentence.
Maybe not.
“Is there anything I can do?”
The other man hesitates. He seems uncertain about what’s coming next.
“Clark? Is there anything I can do?”
“She’s been asking for you.” Just saying it seems to hurt him.
Lex stiffens at the words and the tension it causes between the two of them. “May I see her?”
“Of course. I’ll…I’ll be out here if she needs anything.” Clark just nods and walks away, leaving Lex alone to compose himself before entering the room.
She’s strapped to the bed in front of him and there’s a man sitting in the corner watching her.
The sight of it almost makes him sick.
“Get out.”
“I’m sorry, sir, but…”
“Get out.” He casts one of his most severe looks upon the man who hesitates and then slinks out of the room.
“So you’ve still got it, huh Luthor?” She smiles up at him and the clarity of her voice confuses him. Wasn’t she supposed to be…?
“How are you?”
“How do I look?” There it is again, that challenge to really look at what her life’s become. But now the challenge is uttered with a soft smile that seems to signal a surrender of some kind.
“I’m sorry.”
“You should be.”
He purses his lips together and tries to figure out how to respond but she speaks again, this time rolling her head away from him and looking out the window.
“It doesn’t matter, it’ll all be over soon enough.”
He sits down on the bed next to her, taking one of her pinned hands in his. “Chloe, what do you mean? Clark said…”
“Clark doesn’t know anything. He’s kept his secrets and I’ve kept mine.” She still doesn’t look at him when she speaks. “I guess that’s something we all shared in the end, isn’t it?” She finally turns and settles her gaze upon him. “The ability to keep secrets.”
“Chloe, I never meant for this to happen. If I would have known…”
“No, Lex. It’s not a matter of whether or not you knew but whether or not you trusted…in me, in us.” She rolls away again, breaking what little connection they’d managed in the passing moments. “And you didn’t…so here we are.”
“Chloe, please.” The words are full of desperation and love and need, everything she ever wanted to hear from him.
But they’re too late.
She’s too far gone to come back.
Not even for him.
“You should go, Lex.” She keeps her eyes on the window but he can hear the tears in her voice.
“I’ll come back tomorrow. Will you see me again?”
“Maybe…”
He gets up to leave but hesitates in the doorway as he hears her last words to him.
“Maybe not.”
***