Shanna
4th January 2005, 03:32
Title: Switch Your Type
Author: Shanna - shannalynn9064@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters of Smallville, just this fluffy little non-plot.
Summary: Another brunette bombshell tries to take out Lex. Maybe he should consider other dating options?
Pairing: Lex/Chloe friendship-flirtation
Spoilers: None really unless you're unaware of the women who have tried to kill Lex in the past. However, I would say this is set in the summer after Chloe graduates high school, so it's a slightly future fic.
Rating: I'll say PG-13 for mildly suggestive verbal judo
Feedback: It's greatly appreciated. This is my first Smallville fic that wasn't a crossover, so constructive criticism is welcome.
Chloe ran a hand over her face, wiping away the water droplets tickling her skin. She sloshed through the shallow waters and climbed the muddy bank of Crater Lake. 'This is just gross.' Plucking at her soaked jeans, she shivered when the cold water stuck the denim to her chilled skin like glue.
She had been treading water in the darkness for the last fifteen minutes, trying not to be seen by their attacker. Luckily the woman either gave up on finding them in the moonless night, or she came to the conclusion that Chloe and her companion actually drowned as they'd pretended. They snuck ashore several hundred yards away from their initial entry point.
Some refined cursing from behind her caught Chloe's attention. Turning around, she glared at the reason she currently looked like a dripping, wet, drowned rat. "You really know how to show a girl a good time, Lex." Sarcasm dripped from her words just like lake water dripped from her hair. Squeezing the short strands, she felt it trickle down her wrist and over her bare arm.
The bald billionaire, who luckily was also buoyant, swore once more as he began peeling off his five hundred dollar custom-tailored, silk shirt. "Well, Chloe, you were complaining about the heat wave we were having earlier this week. As a gentleman, I felt it was my duty to make sure you cooled off."
Chloe gaped at Lex's arrogant reply. "Excuse me?" Hands on hips, she stalked toward him, eyes flashing and teeth chattering. "Cooled off? Your newest potential trophy wife almost killed us."
"I beg your pardon, but when I met Sharese at an art gallery opening she didn't seem like a psychotic, hmm, what is it you call them again?"
"Meteor freak." Chloe ground out through now gritted teeth. "She is a psychotic meteor freak who can command bats to do her evil bidding. She made them attack us in the cave which forced us to jump into the lake to escape, in case your short-term memory is lacking. Thus, my amazingly glamorous appearance." She spun on the heel of her boot with a squish and stalked to the nearest flat rock.
Lex watched her temper tantrum with mild amusement. Yes, his streak of luck in love was intact, oh for a million...make that a million and one now. Unfortunately Chloe Sullivan got caught in the middle that evening when he caught her exploring the Kawachi cave and its secret crevices and drawings. Who knew his new girlfriend would feel the urge to follow him into the woods, and that she had such a jealous streak? It's not as if there was anything illicit about his run-in with Chloe. He was simply escorting the curious reporter from the restricted property.
She plopped her bottom onto the rock without preamble and began pulling off her boots and socks. With an almost silent "Ewww," Chloe began wringing out the soggy cotton. After giving them a few firm twists, she shook the socks out, only to let her arm fall. She peered at Lex, a considering gleam in her eye.
"If there's something you'd like to say, Miss Sullivan, please feel free to do so. It's been a trying night, and the sooner I get back to the castle to ensconce myself in a steaming hot shower the better." Seeing the logic in Chloe's actions, Lex perched on the rock near her and began to follow her lead. His Italian loafers were shot. Fifteen hundred dollars down the drain. He was pretty sure his tailored black linen pants were a wash as well.
"I'm seeing a pattern, Lex. A very disturbing pattern." Chloe swung her stretched, damp socks in random circles, and her head cocked to the side as she formulated her argument. "How would you describe Sharese?"
Lex pondered her question momentarily, and decided to answer honestly. "Well, up until she tried to kill us both, I thought she was a strong, independent woman..."
"No, no, no! You misunderstood the question." Chloe laid a chilled and damp hand on his bare forearm to break into his diatribe.
"Then by all means, do elaborate." He smirked at the bedraggled girl beside him and poured a small puddle of water from one ruined shoe.
"How would you describe Sharese, physically?"
Lex's smirk widened into a full-fledged smile and he waggled his eyebrows at her. "Well, she's tall, statuesque even, with a perfectly delectable figure. Her face is beautiful with classic features and amazing dark eyes. Sharese's hair is a thick sable curtain which is soft as silk." His eyes darkened as his description continued, reminding him of all of the enjoyable private time he'd spent with the woman, or as Chloe called her, the psychotic meteor freak.
"Hmm. Now, try to follow me here, okay?" Chloe rested her hands flat on the rock behind her and leaned back on them. She stretched her legs out in front of her semi-reclined body and crossed them at the ankles. "Tell me if I'm going a little too fast for you."
His lips twisting in a slight smirk, Lex waved his hand graciously, indicating she should continue.
"Okay, so you've got Sharese, psycho bat girl, Helen, cold-hearted black widow, Desiree Atkins, pheromone spewing little miss hotpants, and of course we can't forget Shannon, the jilted and revenge-driven legal aide. Throw them all into Smallville's tiny lineup room, and tell me what you've got."
"Either my ultimate fantasy, or my ultimate nightmare, depending on whether they're in the mood to kiss me or kill me." His smile was self-depreciating as he ran a hand over his head.
"Lex, all I'm saying is that every woman who's tried to kill you, at least the ones I'm aware of, have been these amazing brunette, gazelle-like supermodels. Have you ever considered switching your type?"
He would have laughed if Chloe didn't appear so serious in her speculation. "Switch my type? Exactly what are you saying?"
"Try dating a redhead, or a blonde. See if they try to kill you. If they don't, then we can hypothesize a generalization in which only brunette women romantically involved with you are evil and homicidal."
Lex chuckled softly. "And if the blonde or redhead try to end my existence?"
"Well," Chloe paused and began twitching her feet back and forth before shooting him a thousand watt smile. "Then we know it's just you. But, hey, at least you'd know."
He laughed outright this time. "Are you volunteering for the test phase of this little psychology project?"
"It wouldn't work, Mr. Luthor." She straightened into a sitting position before leaning over to dump water from her black boots.
"And why is that, Miss Sullivan? After all, you do fill the major requirement, being blond." He graced her with a wry smile which turned into a disgusted grimace as he stuck his bare foot back into the sopping leather.
"Lex, don't be ridiculous." Chloe rolled her eyes as she pulled on her own footwear. "I can't exactly be a test subject since I'm aware of all the details of the experiment. The data would be tainted from the get go."
She stood and held out a hand to help Lex to his feet. When he graciously accepted her offer, she tugged him off the rock to stand beside her. "Come on. We have to notify the sheriff about your psycho girlfriend before you can comfortably 'ensconce yourself in a steaming hot shower'."
Lex allowed himself to be led through the woods by the curvy spitfire. The entire trip was spent admiring the rear view of one, Chloe Sullivan. She was smart, witty, unimpressed by his wealth, and had a dislike of his father. Hmm, maybe it was time to change his type after all.
End.
Author: Shanna - shannalynn9064@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: I own none of the characters of Smallville, just this fluffy little non-plot.
Summary: Another brunette bombshell tries to take out Lex. Maybe he should consider other dating options?
Pairing: Lex/Chloe friendship-flirtation
Spoilers: None really unless you're unaware of the women who have tried to kill Lex in the past. However, I would say this is set in the summer after Chloe graduates high school, so it's a slightly future fic.
Rating: I'll say PG-13 for mildly suggestive verbal judo
Feedback: It's greatly appreciated. This is my first Smallville fic that wasn't a crossover, so constructive criticism is welcome.
Chloe ran a hand over her face, wiping away the water droplets tickling her skin. She sloshed through the shallow waters and climbed the muddy bank of Crater Lake. 'This is just gross.' Plucking at her soaked jeans, she shivered when the cold water stuck the denim to her chilled skin like glue.
She had been treading water in the darkness for the last fifteen minutes, trying not to be seen by their attacker. Luckily the woman either gave up on finding them in the moonless night, or she came to the conclusion that Chloe and her companion actually drowned as they'd pretended. They snuck ashore several hundred yards away from their initial entry point.
Some refined cursing from behind her caught Chloe's attention. Turning around, she glared at the reason she currently looked like a dripping, wet, drowned rat. "You really know how to show a girl a good time, Lex." Sarcasm dripped from her words just like lake water dripped from her hair. Squeezing the short strands, she felt it trickle down her wrist and over her bare arm.
The bald billionaire, who luckily was also buoyant, swore once more as he began peeling off his five hundred dollar custom-tailored, silk shirt. "Well, Chloe, you were complaining about the heat wave we were having earlier this week. As a gentleman, I felt it was my duty to make sure you cooled off."
Chloe gaped at Lex's arrogant reply. "Excuse me?" Hands on hips, she stalked toward him, eyes flashing and teeth chattering. "Cooled off? Your newest potential trophy wife almost killed us."
"I beg your pardon, but when I met Sharese at an art gallery opening she didn't seem like a psychotic, hmm, what is it you call them again?"
"Meteor freak." Chloe ground out through now gritted teeth. "She is a psychotic meteor freak who can command bats to do her evil bidding. She made them attack us in the cave which forced us to jump into the lake to escape, in case your short-term memory is lacking. Thus, my amazingly glamorous appearance." She spun on the heel of her boot with a squish and stalked to the nearest flat rock.
Lex watched her temper tantrum with mild amusement. Yes, his streak of luck in love was intact, oh for a million...make that a million and one now. Unfortunately Chloe Sullivan got caught in the middle that evening when he caught her exploring the Kawachi cave and its secret crevices and drawings. Who knew his new girlfriend would feel the urge to follow him into the woods, and that she had such a jealous streak? It's not as if there was anything illicit about his run-in with Chloe. He was simply escorting the curious reporter from the restricted property.
She plopped her bottom onto the rock without preamble and began pulling off her boots and socks. With an almost silent "Ewww," Chloe began wringing out the soggy cotton. After giving them a few firm twists, she shook the socks out, only to let her arm fall. She peered at Lex, a considering gleam in her eye.
"If there's something you'd like to say, Miss Sullivan, please feel free to do so. It's been a trying night, and the sooner I get back to the castle to ensconce myself in a steaming hot shower the better." Seeing the logic in Chloe's actions, Lex perched on the rock near her and began to follow her lead. His Italian loafers were shot. Fifteen hundred dollars down the drain. He was pretty sure his tailored black linen pants were a wash as well.
"I'm seeing a pattern, Lex. A very disturbing pattern." Chloe swung her stretched, damp socks in random circles, and her head cocked to the side as she formulated her argument. "How would you describe Sharese?"
Lex pondered her question momentarily, and decided to answer honestly. "Well, up until she tried to kill us both, I thought she was a strong, independent woman..."
"No, no, no! You misunderstood the question." Chloe laid a chilled and damp hand on his bare forearm to break into his diatribe.
"Then by all means, do elaborate." He smirked at the bedraggled girl beside him and poured a small puddle of water from one ruined shoe.
"How would you describe Sharese, physically?"
Lex's smirk widened into a full-fledged smile and he waggled his eyebrows at her. "Well, she's tall, statuesque even, with a perfectly delectable figure. Her face is beautiful with classic features and amazing dark eyes. Sharese's hair is a thick sable curtain which is soft as silk." His eyes darkened as his description continued, reminding him of all of the enjoyable private time he'd spent with the woman, or as Chloe called her, the psychotic meteor freak.
"Hmm. Now, try to follow me here, okay?" Chloe rested her hands flat on the rock behind her and leaned back on them. She stretched her legs out in front of her semi-reclined body and crossed them at the ankles. "Tell me if I'm going a little too fast for you."
His lips twisting in a slight smirk, Lex waved his hand graciously, indicating she should continue.
"Okay, so you've got Sharese, psycho bat girl, Helen, cold-hearted black widow, Desiree Atkins, pheromone spewing little miss hotpants, and of course we can't forget Shannon, the jilted and revenge-driven legal aide. Throw them all into Smallville's tiny lineup room, and tell me what you've got."
"Either my ultimate fantasy, or my ultimate nightmare, depending on whether they're in the mood to kiss me or kill me." His smile was self-depreciating as he ran a hand over his head.
"Lex, all I'm saying is that every woman who's tried to kill you, at least the ones I'm aware of, have been these amazing brunette, gazelle-like supermodels. Have you ever considered switching your type?"
He would have laughed if Chloe didn't appear so serious in her speculation. "Switch my type? Exactly what are you saying?"
"Try dating a redhead, or a blonde. See if they try to kill you. If they don't, then we can hypothesize a generalization in which only brunette women romantically involved with you are evil and homicidal."
Lex chuckled softly. "And if the blonde or redhead try to end my existence?"
"Well," Chloe paused and began twitching her feet back and forth before shooting him a thousand watt smile. "Then we know it's just you. But, hey, at least you'd know."
He laughed outright this time. "Are you volunteering for the test phase of this little psychology project?"
"It wouldn't work, Mr. Luthor." She straightened into a sitting position before leaning over to dump water from her black boots.
"And why is that, Miss Sullivan? After all, you do fill the major requirement, being blond." He graced her with a wry smile which turned into a disgusted grimace as he stuck his bare foot back into the sopping leather.
"Lex, don't be ridiculous." Chloe rolled her eyes as she pulled on her own footwear. "I can't exactly be a test subject since I'm aware of all the details of the experiment. The data would be tainted from the get go."
She stood and held out a hand to help Lex to his feet. When he graciously accepted her offer, she tugged him off the rock to stand beside her. "Come on. We have to notify the sheriff about your psycho girlfriend before you can comfortably 'ensconce yourself in a steaming hot shower'."
Lex allowed himself to be led through the woods by the curvy spitfire. The entire trip was spent admiring the rear view of one, Chloe Sullivan. She was smart, witty, unimpressed by his wealth, and had a dislike of his father. Hmm, maybe it was time to change his type after all.
End.