Not An Addict
19th April 2003, 02:39
Disclaimer: The idea of me owning anything is laughable. I don’t have enough in my bank account to buy a can of Reddi-Whip, much less something as delectable as Lex Luthor. Mmmmm….Reddi-Whip….Lex Luthor….sorry, got sidetracked for a minute there. Where was I? Oh, yes. I own nothing, if you sue me you’d get a nickel, but only if I found one in the street, so you may as well not bother. Everything belongs to someone else. I get no money for this, only the joy and inner satisfaction that writing brings. Which kinda sucks since I have to buy Christmas presents. OK, enough rambling, on to…the author’s notes!
Author’s Notes: This is a completely random bit of work. I was online looking up lyrics for another fic I’m working on when I saw this song. It was about then that my muse picked up a 2x4 and smacked me upside the head with it. (I’d complain, but then she’d abandon me entirely.) Be warned, it’s fairly angsty—not my usual style, but my muse didn’t give me much choice in the matter. I apologize for any incoherentness; it made sense in my head, I swear. Review, please. CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is welcome. All right, now it’s (finally) on to the story!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
JEKYLL:
Lost in the darkness,
Silence surrounds you.
Once there was morning,
Now endless night.
If I could reach you,
I'd guide you and teach you
To walk from the darkness
Back into the light.
Deep in your silence,
Please try to hear me;
I'll keep you near me
Till night passes by.
I will find the answer.
I'll never desert you -
I promise you this -
Till the day that I die...
Chloe sat alone in the Talon, watching the rain lash against the windows, her solitary cup of coffee long since cold. She had been sitting in the same booth for the last hour and a half, simply staring. The waitress thankfully seemed to have gotten the message that the petite blonde wanted to be left alone, and hadn’t interrupted her solitude even to refill her coffee. Pete and Clark were off somewhere planning how to spend the last spring break of their high school careers and Lana was thankfully following the waitress’s example, leaving Chloe to her own thoughts.
The melodic strains of a harp and flute floated through the air, barely registering in Chloe’s consciousness. Lana had found a cache of CDs a few weeks ago, and when no one answered the lost-and-found fliers she’d put up they had been relegated to the Talon’s music selection. She’d been trying them out for the last few days, trying to gauge a reaction from the customers. Although why Lana was bothering now Chloe couldn’t say, as the Talon was unusually empty for a Friday night. Not that Chloe was complaining. She had gone home first, but she hadn’t been able to stay in that empty silence. It reminded her too much of how she felt. Even so, she was glad for the distinct lack of people; here she could be alone, but was still too much in public to give in to the despair that had lodged itself in her chest.
For the millionth time in the last two hours, her mind replayed the events of earlier that night. She should have known, really, when he hadn’t let her kiss him when she came in…
***************************
Confused, Chloe stood in the middle of Lex’s library and watched him walk around his desk to seat himself behind it. She stepped forward slowly, not liking the message he was projecting with his body language. His face was a hard, emotionless mask, the one she hadn’t seen for a month, not since that first frantic night of passion and discovery.
“Lex,” she started cautiously, “what’s going on?”
“It’s over, Chloe.”
Just like that; no explanation, no reasoning, just a cold hard statement of fact. Well, if he wanted to stop at that he shouldn’t have gotten involved with someone whose chosen life’s work was to question.
“What the hell do you mean, over?”
His lips showed just a hint of a smirk. “I mean over, Chloe. Done with, concluded, finished. I would think you’d be able to grasp the meaning of such a simple word,” he mocked, and a spark of anger ignited within her. His face took on a condescending expression. “Look, it was fun while it lasted—”
“God, couldn’t you have even come up with a better line?” she shot.
His eyes narrowed slightly, then hardened again. “But it’s over.”
Despite her resolve, she sank into a chair. “And just what brought on this sudden declaration, Lex?” Her voice was soft, and the tone made him wince in a way that shouting never could have.
“I got this today,” he said, sliding a file across the glass towards her. She reached for it but her fingers stopped an inch from it, a sense of foreboding sweeping over her. But glancing back at his eyes, she saw past the stoniness to the disgust that lay there, and knew she had to know. Pulling the file into her lap, she opened the cover and skimmed through a report of a business acquisition until her fingers brushed over the glossy surface of several grainy black and white photos stacked neatly in the back. As she studied them she felt her face pale. Lex, watching her intently, began to speak as she slowly flipped through them, his voice cold and impersonal.
“I had told my team that I wanted this company, no matter what the cost. The girl is the daughter of the president and CEO, who also happens to be the largest shareholder. They checked her age first—she’s sixteen, technically legal in Kansas. According to their report she was a virgin, but it would appear that the Ecstasy they slipped her loosened her up quite a bit. I doubt she was coherent enough to know they were photographing her; hell, she may have thought it was just one guy she was with instead of three. But I doubt the tabloids would really care one way or the other; her father was of the same opinion.” Her gaze snapped back up to him at his next words. “And at the end of the day, I got my company.” Self-loathing was now clear in his eyes. “No matter what the cost.”
Her hands shaking, she put the file back on the desk and stood, unable to sit anymore. Her voice, too, was trembling. “You didn’t know, Lex,” she started.
“This time,” he interrupted. “I’ve destroyed people’s lives before, knowing full well what I was doing. This isn’t new for me, Chloe. This is who I am.” He shot out of his chair and rounded on her, grabbing her arms and holding on so tightly she swore her arms would be permanently marked. “This is a part of me; it’s in my blood.”
“Lex,” she whispered, her eyes wide and pleading, “it’s not you, Lex. You’re good, and you’re the strongest person I know; you don’t have to be anything you don’t want to be.”
“What’s it going to take to get through to you?” He snarled. Dropping her arms like he couldn’t stand to touch her anymore, he fixed her with a look so cold she wondered that she didn’t turn to ice right there. “I don’t want you,” he stated, his voice clear and firm. “You were an amusing toy, for a time, but frankly, I’ve lost interest. And though you do have a certain homegrown charm,” he drawled, skimming over her body, “I’d prefer someone a bit more . . . sophisticated than a small-town, high school reporter.”
It was her weak spot, and he knew it. And even though in her heart she knew that he didn’t mean it, she was stung, torn, bleeding. Not because she thought it was true, but because he would use that against her, would play on her worst fears and insecurities to purposely hurt her. Shaking her head, she felt the tears forming in her eyes as she began to back away.
“Chloe—” he started, reaching for her, his expression panicked now, but she turned and fled. Out of the room, out of the house, into the first drops of rain, she had run to her car, practically vaulting into the seat. Turning the ignition so violently she feared it might break, she brought her car roaring to life and immediately slammed on the gas, wanting only to get away as quickly as possible.
***************************
Now here she sat, watching the rain and half-listening as the new CD Lana had put in began to play. The hurt from Lex’s words was gradually fading, leaving behind a kind of aching emptiness. She needed a sign, something to tell her what to do, where to go from here. Blinking out of her daze as the last few words of the song caught her attention, she turned from the window.
“Lana,” she called out. The brunette turned around, startled by Chloe’s first words that evening since she had ordered her drink. Seeing that she had gotten Lana’s attention, Chloe continued, “Could you replay that last song?”
“Sure,” Lana agreed quickly once Chloe’s words had sunk in; she walked to the stereo to reset the song, turning up the volume a bit for good measure. Lana watched as Chloe sat perfectly still, absorbing the words that echoed through the room, her eyes growing wide. As the instrumentals built, Lana watched in amazement as Chloe snatched up her keys and bolted from the table, running out the door and into the rain.
***************************
“Come on, don’t do this to me,” Chloe begged. She turned the ignition again but only received stuttering sounds in response.
“Damn it!”
Wrenching her keys from the starter, she sat for a moment in frustration. Out her windshield she could see the Luthor Manor through the rain. Almost there, and her car had died. Those haunting words drifted through her mind again, and filled with new determination she opened her door and stepped out into the downpour. She only had to walk for a minute or two—her car had died literally a hundred feet from the drive—but by the time she reached the front door, she was drenched—her filmy shirt and thin pants weren’t meant to repel the buckets of water currently pouring from the sky. Even so, she barely noticed her state as she pounded on the massive door. She was surprised when Lex answered the door himself, but she didn’t let it deter her from her mission.
For his part, Lex was stunned. She was here. After what he had said and shown to her, he had been certain she would never want to associate with him again. It wasn’t until she was walking away that the reality of losing her had hit him. Since then he had been wandering around the mansion in a daze, wondering vaguely where his heart had gone. But now she was here, soaked to the bone and swiftly closing the distance between them.
And then her lips were on his, her hands holding on to the back of his head, pulling him closer to her. Swept up in the sensation of kissing her again he crushed her wet body to his own, his arms lifting her up as she plundered his mouth. Finally they parted and he set her down, both of them gasping for breath. Lex told himself to push her away, but his arms remained locked around her, holding her close.
“Chloe,” he choked out, “you shouldn’t be back here.” His eyes could hide nothing now, and he traced her face, his gaze filled with pain and naked pleading. “I don’t want to drag you down into the darkness with me.”
Chloe saw the pain and the despair, and as she heard the words in her mind she was filled with a peaceful calm. She took his face between her hands, forcing his eyes to meet hers, to see the certainty there.
“I’ll guide you, Lex—I’ll help you find your way back to the light. And I will never desert you. I promise.” Her lips came back to his, kissing him gently. She kissed him with all of the love and trust she had in her, and gloried as she felt him sweep her up into his arms.
He carried her upstairs, to the bed that somehow didn’t seem real without her there. They peeled off wet, clinging clothes and fed off of the feel of each other. Touches brushed against skin; everywhere she touched him he felt healed. When he entered her she gasped his name, and he lowered his mouth to hers to drink her cries, wondering how he ever thought he could live without this, without her. At last she shivered, cried out, and brought him with her to the edge.
He lay there, holding her close to his side, as though he was afraid she would slip away. She kissed his shoulder gently before returning her head to his chest.
“I love you, Lex.” Her voice was soft; he felt her lips moving against his skin as she spoke.
“I love you, Chloe. More than life.”
And so Lex Luthor took his first stumbling steps towards the light.
END
Author’s Notes: This is a completely random bit of work. I was online looking up lyrics for another fic I’m working on when I saw this song. It was about then that my muse picked up a 2x4 and smacked me upside the head with it. (I’d complain, but then she’d abandon me entirely.) Be warned, it’s fairly angsty—not my usual style, but my muse didn’t give me much choice in the matter. I apologize for any incoherentness; it made sense in my head, I swear. Review, please. CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is welcome. All right, now it’s (finally) on to the story!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
JEKYLL:
Lost in the darkness,
Silence surrounds you.
Once there was morning,
Now endless night.
If I could reach you,
I'd guide you and teach you
To walk from the darkness
Back into the light.
Deep in your silence,
Please try to hear me;
I'll keep you near me
Till night passes by.
I will find the answer.
I'll never desert you -
I promise you this -
Till the day that I die...
Chloe sat alone in the Talon, watching the rain lash against the windows, her solitary cup of coffee long since cold. She had been sitting in the same booth for the last hour and a half, simply staring. The waitress thankfully seemed to have gotten the message that the petite blonde wanted to be left alone, and hadn’t interrupted her solitude even to refill her coffee. Pete and Clark were off somewhere planning how to spend the last spring break of their high school careers and Lana was thankfully following the waitress’s example, leaving Chloe to her own thoughts.
The melodic strains of a harp and flute floated through the air, barely registering in Chloe’s consciousness. Lana had found a cache of CDs a few weeks ago, and when no one answered the lost-and-found fliers she’d put up they had been relegated to the Talon’s music selection. She’d been trying them out for the last few days, trying to gauge a reaction from the customers. Although why Lana was bothering now Chloe couldn’t say, as the Talon was unusually empty for a Friday night. Not that Chloe was complaining. She had gone home first, but she hadn’t been able to stay in that empty silence. It reminded her too much of how she felt. Even so, she was glad for the distinct lack of people; here she could be alone, but was still too much in public to give in to the despair that had lodged itself in her chest.
For the millionth time in the last two hours, her mind replayed the events of earlier that night. She should have known, really, when he hadn’t let her kiss him when she came in…
***************************
Confused, Chloe stood in the middle of Lex’s library and watched him walk around his desk to seat himself behind it. She stepped forward slowly, not liking the message he was projecting with his body language. His face was a hard, emotionless mask, the one she hadn’t seen for a month, not since that first frantic night of passion and discovery.
“Lex,” she started cautiously, “what’s going on?”
“It’s over, Chloe.”
Just like that; no explanation, no reasoning, just a cold hard statement of fact. Well, if he wanted to stop at that he shouldn’t have gotten involved with someone whose chosen life’s work was to question.
“What the hell do you mean, over?”
His lips showed just a hint of a smirk. “I mean over, Chloe. Done with, concluded, finished. I would think you’d be able to grasp the meaning of such a simple word,” he mocked, and a spark of anger ignited within her. His face took on a condescending expression. “Look, it was fun while it lasted—”
“God, couldn’t you have even come up with a better line?” she shot.
His eyes narrowed slightly, then hardened again. “But it’s over.”
Despite her resolve, she sank into a chair. “And just what brought on this sudden declaration, Lex?” Her voice was soft, and the tone made him wince in a way that shouting never could have.
“I got this today,” he said, sliding a file across the glass towards her. She reached for it but her fingers stopped an inch from it, a sense of foreboding sweeping over her. But glancing back at his eyes, she saw past the stoniness to the disgust that lay there, and knew she had to know. Pulling the file into her lap, she opened the cover and skimmed through a report of a business acquisition until her fingers brushed over the glossy surface of several grainy black and white photos stacked neatly in the back. As she studied them she felt her face pale. Lex, watching her intently, began to speak as she slowly flipped through them, his voice cold and impersonal.
“I had told my team that I wanted this company, no matter what the cost. The girl is the daughter of the president and CEO, who also happens to be the largest shareholder. They checked her age first—she’s sixteen, technically legal in Kansas. According to their report she was a virgin, but it would appear that the Ecstasy they slipped her loosened her up quite a bit. I doubt she was coherent enough to know they were photographing her; hell, she may have thought it was just one guy she was with instead of three. But I doubt the tabloids would really care one way or the other; her father was of the same opinion.” Her gaze snapped back up to him at his next words. “And at the end of the day, I got my company.” Self-loathing was now clear in his eyes. “No matter what the cost.”
Her hands shaking, she put the file back on the desk and stood, unable to sit anymore. Her voice, too, was trembling. “You didn’t know, Lex,” she started.
“This time,” he interrupted. “I’ve destroyed people’s lives before, knowing full well what I was doing. This isn’t new for me, Chloe. This is who I am.” He shot out of his chair and rounded on her, grabbing her arms and holding on so tightly she swore her arms would be permanently marked. “This is a part of me; it’s in my blood.”
“Lex,” she whispered, her eyes wide and pleading, “it’s not you, Lex. You’re good, and you’re the strongest person I know; you don’t have to be anything you don’t want to be.”
“What’s it going to take to get through to you?” He snarled. Dropping her arms like he couldn’t stand to touch her anymore, he fixed her with a look so cold she wondered that she didn’t turn to ice right there. “I don’t want you,” he stated, his voice clear and firm. “You were an amusing toy, for a time, but frankly, I’ve lost interest. And though you do have a certain homegrown charm,” he drawled, skimming over her body, “I’d prefer someone a bit more . . . sophisticated than a small-town, high school reporter.”
It was her weak spot, and he knew it. And even though in her heart she knew that he didn’t mean it, she was stung, torn, bleeding. Not because she thought it was true, but because he would use that against her, would play on her worst fears and insecurities to purposely hurt her. Shaking her head, she felt the tears forming in her eyes as she began to back away.
“Chloe—” he started, reaching for her, his expression panicked now, but she turned and fled. Out of the room, out of the house, into the first drops of rain, she had run to her car, practically vaulting into the seat. Turning the ignition so violently she feared it might break, she brought her car roaring to life and immediately slammed on the gas, wanting only to get away as quickly as possible.
***************************
Now here she sat, watching the rain and half-listening as the new CD Lana had put in began to play. The hurt from Lex’s words was gradually fading, leaving behind a kind of aching emptiness. She needed a sign, something to tell her what to do, where to go from here. Blinking out of her daze as the last few words of the song caught her attention, she turned from the window.
“Lana,” she called out. The brunette turned around, startled by Chloe’s first words that evening since she had ordered her drink. Seeing that she had gotten Lana’s attention, Chloe continued, “Could you replay that last song?”
“Sure,” Lana agreed quickly once Chloe’s words had sunk in; she walked to the stereo to reset the song, turning up the volume a bit for good measure. Lana watched as Chloe sat perfectly still, absorbing the words that echoed through the room, her eyes growing wide. As the instrumentals built, Lana watched in amazement as Chloe snatched up her keys and bolted from the table, running out the door and into the rain.
***************************
“Come on, don’t do this to me,” Chloe begged. She turned the ignition again but only received stuttering sounds in response.
“Damn it!”
Wrenching her keys from the starter, she sat for a moment in frustration. Out her windshield she could see the Luthor Manor through the rain. Almost there, and her car had died. Those haunting words drifted through her mind again, and filled with new determination she opened her door and stepped out into the downpour. She only had to walk for a minute or two—her car had died literally a hundred feet from the drive—but by the time she reached the front door, she was drenched—her filmy shirt and thin pants weren’t meant to repel the buckets of water currently pouring from the sky. Even so, she barely noticed her state as she pounded on the massive door. She was surprised when Lex answered the door himself, but she didn’t let it deter her from her mission.
For his part, Lex was stunned. She was here. After what he had said and shown to her, he had been certain she would never want to associate with him again. It wasn’t until she was walking away that the reality of losing her had hit him. Since then he had been wandering around the mansion in a daze, wondering vaguely where his heart had gone. But now she was here, soaked to the bone and swiftly closing the distance between them.
And then her lips were on his, her hands holding on to the back of his head, pulling him closer to her. Swept up in the sensation of kissing her again he crushed her wet body to his own, his arms lifting her up as she plundered his mouth. Finally they parted and he set her down, both of them gasping for breath. Lex told himself to push her away, but his arms remained locked around her, holding her close.
“Chloe,” he choked out, “you shouldn’t be back here.” His eyes could hide nothing now, and he traced her face, his gaze filled with pain and naked pleading. “I don’t want to drag you down into the darkness with me.”
Chloe saw the pain and the despair, and as she heard the words in her mind she was filled with a peaceful calm. She took his face between her hands, forcing his eyes to meet hers, to see the certainty there.
“I’ll guide you, Lex—I’ll help you find your way back to the light. And I will never desert you. I promise.” Her lips came back to his, kissing him gently. She kissed him with all of the love and trust she had in her, and gloried as she felt him sweep her up into his arms.
He carried her upstairs, to the bed that somehow didn’t seem real without her there. They peeled off wet, clinging clothes and fed off of the feel of each other. Touches brushed against skin; everywhere she touched him he felt healed. When he entered her she gasped his name, and he lowered his mouth to hers to drink her cries, wondering how he ever thought he could live without this, without her. At last she shivered, cried out, and brought him with her to the edge.
He lay there, holding her close to his side, as though he was afraid she would slip away. She kissed his shoulder gently before returning her head to his chest.
“I love you, Lex.” Her voice was soft; he felt her lips moving against his skin as she spoke.
“I love you, Chloe. More than life.”
And so Lex Luthor took his first stumbling steps towards the light.
END