The Billionaire Muggings, PG-13 to R, Ch. 42(update Feb. 22, 2016)

[somethingeasy]

Chapter Thirty-Nine


He patted the little body he was hugging to his chest, and nodded to himself. Lex had seen Andy, and there was no excusable way to ignore his parental rights. Mommy Chloe would get past her nerves once she saw Lex taking an interest. A puppet baby was just crazy enough to warm El Baldissimo's frozen heart cockles.

BM always sends me into that bewildered state of mind where I honestly cannot tell whether the characters are lunatics or geniuses… or lunatic geniuses? In any case, I’m actually pretty optimistic about all of this… because even if Lucas HAS created a lunatic plan over here, it’s still centered around a target (Lex) who happens to be a lunatic himself… which means that it should work just like a sane plan would work on a ‘sane person’, right?


Lucas spooned some of the scrambled eggs onto a saucer and brought the tiny plate back to the table with his own large one. Lex looked at it and scoffed. “You know portion control doesn't work if you just eat an extra plate of everything,” he said.

Lucas grinned, not offended by all of his brother's recent insults. He'd called in to Dr. Lauren's radio show and found out siblings – real ones – often teased one another mercilessly and with great hidden affection. “You're flabby, too,” he replied. “And these are for the baby.”

LOL! Aw, Lucas. I would shake my head at his naiveté, except that I actually think he’s onto something here. It actually IS true that siblings can become outright vicious in their ‘teasing’ of each other. Whether than viciousness is actually hiding away ‘true affection’ is… however… debatable! lol! But I’m so pleased and heartened to see Lucas taking such a positive and optimistic point of view. There’s way too much cynicism in the Luthors sometimes… so it’s darned nice to see at least one of them embracing the silver lining and positive viewpoint. Good for you, Lucas! Lol!


The bald man pulled his fists in close to his body and let him sit before he growled. “Baby?” Lex was looking to Chloe's usual seat, as if he could x-ray her absent belly with his rage.

Chloe was upstairs still, her hair or jeans or tampon not cooperating, according to Lucas. He was sure they weren't sleeping together. Absolutely positive. But it never hurt to browbeat someone into complete and severe honesty.

ROTFLMAO! Just how many times is Lex going to continue falling for that ‘Chloe might be pregnant’ line anyway?! ROTFL! I get the feeling that he’s probably never going to stop worrying about the potential occupants in Chloe’s womb… not until he’s completely secure in the knowledge that only HIS offspring have reserved the right to occupy that space, and no other. Lol!


He knew the family wasn't stable, but he'd assumed Lucas was crazy like he was crazy; persistently but at a low level unless provoked. Maybe it was time for some professional evaluation of the quirks of Lucas' mind.

*pshaw* Utter nonsense, Lex! Lex has exactly the same concerning musings about Lucas’s sanity every time Lucas reveals a new hobby. He really should be used to lunacy, first thing in the morning, from Lucas at this point.


Bristling, the older brother scowled. “Chloe and I would not let our baby starve. We would not schmoop over each other and we would not-Good morning! Here, let me get your chair for you,” he said sweetly as their third party arrived.

Holy crap! I didn’t really think that Lucas would be getting any kind of actual results from this new lunatic plan… but it’s actually working!! Lex actually IS buying into Lucas’s make-believe role-playing, and actually playing along, and contributing to how he and Chloe would make excellent parents to their common kids. ROTFL! Holy. Crap!! I can’t believe that the puppet show actually worked! ROTFLMAO!


Chloe and Lex took heroic gulps of coffee and slumped down silently. Lucas bounced the baby and sighed. They would probably be six or seven years into poor Adverb's life before they realized they were the cutest family ever. Maybe he'd make a Chloe and a Lex puppet and have them perform little mating rituals as examples. Teeny Felt Lex could give Teeny Chloe flowers and take her out to a miniature dinner, and christen the back seat of Barbie's pink convertible. He happily shoveled food in his mouth, mentally appreciating the little passion play of Teeny Felt Lex and Chloe's courtship. His little fuzzy big brother would be even dorkier than the dork pretending to eat on the other side of the table.

ROTFL! I might have scoffed at this lunatic idea at the beginning of the chapter… but now I actually think the idea has merit. After all, a puppet representation of a non-existent Chlex baby had Lex vocalizing, quite seriously and fervently, that the non-existent baby would NOT be neglected… imagine how much more powerful the results would have been if there has been puppet representations of real people over here! Real people fighting off and hiding real feelings for each other, no less!!


My new motto will be Honesty and Spontaneous Living, Lucas decided. I wish I could work something sexy in there. Honesty, Spontaneous Living and Rock-hard Abs!

ROTFL! It’s a I]good[/I] motto! Perhaps it doesn’t have the same academic quality of Carpe Diem, but it’s more catchy and sexy, dammit!!!


She made a little felt hand wave at him, and Lex waved back with a reluctant smile. They had cute kids and - if Lucas didn't ruin them with his mentoring - he wouldn't regret it a bit. He had a kitten daughter and a puppet son; somehow it felt like a good kind of crazy. Now he was really glad he'd decided to give her a big present, since she was the mother of his children twice over.

He squinted into his coffee and worried quite seriously that he might be taking psychotrophic drugs in his food. A puppet with his old, horrendously orange hair was making him feel far too emotional.

I would also suggest testing for psychotropic drugs… except that I know that this problem cannot actually be blamed on medication. Nope! Lex’s gradual descent into… erm… alternate forms of sanity cannot be explained away by something as simple as drugs.

ROTFL! It’s still damned funny though. I know I should be frightened for Lex’s sense of reason, perspective and sanity… but it’s still darned hilarious seeing Lex actually feeling some kind of genuine bond with the puppet son and the kitten daughter family that he’s formed with Chloe.


"Miss Sullivan is going to be -" If he were honest, he would say 'bonkers' or 'preternaturally hyperactive.' He was luckily a Luthor, born and honed to be a world-class liar. "-enthusiastic, but she's an experienced journalist for someone her age. If you give her the chance to learn, she will grasp the instructions easily."

Gauging the variously blank expressions, none of them were overly impressed by his diplomacy, or completely against working with a teenage forewoman. Lex nodded and continued.

"Today is a special case, but from now on I'd like to hire on at least two of you for a nine to five shift every Saturday. Miss Sullivan is capable, but she won't be hauling boxes or working directly with the equipment. I expect safety measures will be followed strictly, even when she is . . . boisterous. All the same, while I pay you, she runs the place. Try to work with her energy."

Lex turned away, then back again. "Oh, and my half-brother Lucas can usually be found with Chloe. It's up to her what privileges he gets, but I'd keep him clear of the machinery unless you want to be digging severed fingers out of it."

ROTFL! I don’t know what exorbitant amount of money Lex is paying these people… but they are SO clearly thinking that they don’t get paid enough to put up with this. And if they’re not thinking that right now, they WILL be thinking that within two minutes of meeting Chloe, and realizing that Lex was truly NOT exaggerating at all over here, LOL!

And this will probably happen even before they become closely acquainted with Lucas, Kitten Nasty and Puppet Adverb, LOL!

I wonder whether any of Lex’s serving staff have bothered to warn there workers about what’s in store for them… Hmmm… probably not! I suspect that Lex’s household staff has probably been waiting back with avid anticipation, just waiting for the moment of horrified realization to hit the newcomers to the Lunatic Manor, about the details of the situations they’ve been hired into, lol!


'Stranger danger' might be the only real leverage other than confiscating all the Chloe; and there was a lot of Chloe around the house lately. Lucas had been trying to paint her. There were partial portraits lining the hallway outside Lucas' apartment. Chloe said they freaked her out, and Lucas said they 'distressed the spark of inspiration' he claimed lived in his soul. Lex wouldn't have minded one full Chloe portrait on the wall, but the gallery of single Chloe eyes and headless Chloe bodies was eerie. There was on canvas with just giant fingers, making wiggling motions as if they were trying to climb off and chase people down the hallway.


A new hobby was imperative for his sanity, if no other reason. Lucas and Chloe had been talking about taking their painting to the outdoors. She wanted to paint a mountain, which naturally added up to climbing a mountain. They had used office chairs to test the wheelchair ramp at the front entrance. Lex had come home to see his half-brother seemingly disposing of a particularly familiar blonde corpse. He would have overreacted with some murder himself, except a squealing and garbage bag wrapped Chloe was barreling down the ramp. For whatever reason, they had decided it was safer just to lash her bodily to the chair, pinning her arms and removing any small potential for steering. The garbage bag smock, he'd learned later, was to guard against 'unscheduled vomit'.

I’ve always been sympathetic to Lex’s plight in trying to play ‘straight man’ as well as the sole guardian voice of sense and reason to Lucas’s and Chloe’s special brand of craziness. Granted, I’ve become increasingly concerned that Lex is beginning to become ‘infected’ by their lunacy… but it’s descriptions and musings like these which make me realize exactly how much difference there still remains between Lex’s level of sanity, and Lucas’s level of… erm… for lack of a better word… ‘alternate to sanity’.

LOL! Oh, Lex! The poor man. You know… I didn’t completely understand what was happening with the wheelchair, the garbage bags and the ramp… but I’m actually grateful for my lack of comprehension. I don’t think I ever want to descend into a state of mind where all the details of that kind of lunacy actually become clear and ‘logical’ to me, lol!


Grounding Lucas from Chloe was getting harder. She had to be hidden very well, or Lucas would sit outside the door and yell his side of the conversation. She often lobbied to be returned, as if Lex was the bad guy for locking her in a room away from her playmate.

"Semantics," he grumbled under his breath. "I'm right because I say so."

And yes, he was aware that was exactly how ever horrible person throughout history justified things. He was trying to keep everyone safe. He was on the side of right. He was a diligent father, brother and to Chloe he was . . . a patron of her endeavors?

LOL! Poor Lex… never gets appreciated. All he’s trying to do is protect Chloe. Why doesn’t she understand that while he’s locking her up in a barren, empty room… devoid of anything that might possibly hurt her. Why doesn’t she understand that he’s taking her BFF away from her ‘for her own good’? ROTFL! It’s a good thing that he never actually goes through with any of these plans to ‘protect Chloe from herself’. Lex still retains just enough sense, reason and sanity to realize that locking Chloe away would be construed as kidnapping and imprisonment, lol!


"Is it a huge ball pit," Lucas asked lowly. "Is it glow bowling? You knew that was my idea for the basement! If you're not going to let me play, I will sue."

Patting at him consolingly, Chloe said, "I'm sure you don't need to sue. And you can come, right, Lex? Just - put on your hardhat! Please! Pllllllllllease."

"She looks like she's dying, Lucas. You're literally killing her with curiosity. Just put on the safety gear."

ROTFL! Omigosh this was such a cute, funny scene!!! I loved the way that both Chloe and Lucas were practically vibrating with exuberant curiousity… but whilst Chloe was being quite open about her enthusiasm, Lucas was making a poor attempt to ‘acting cool’ about it, lol!


Her blonde hair was curling out under her very bright hardhat, and Chloe seemed thrown. She looked from Lex to Lucas and said, "I don't know what I do! I haven't done it yet, but I've never been awash in offers to do much of anything. Is it a sex dungeon? Not that I'm not grateful - I'm just . . . probably not grateful enough to do bondage?"

Sighing with resentment, Lex made a face. Lucas was absolutely ruining this wonderful gift for him and Chloe. "It's not a sex dungeon. Why do people always think I'm a big pervert?"

ROTFLMAO! OMFG! ROTFL! This. Was. Hilarious! ROFL! I loved the way that Chloe didn’t become outraged and outright reject the idea of Lex creating a sex dungeon, with the intention of making her the centerpiece of the project. Instead she was very careful not to act ungrateful… making sure that it was clear that she WAS appreciative of Lex’s efforts into whatever kind of present he had made for her… even if it WAS an incredibly creepy, pervy sex dungeon, ROTFL!

Oh, Chloe… you’ve gotta love the sweetness of a disposition that would instantly forgive being presented with bondage, manacles and possibly even creepy kink like anal ravishment and erotic asphyxiation as a ‘present’.

But… I have to say that it’s highly reassuring to see that Lex did NOT see her lack of outrage as some kind of invitation… that Chloe perhaps DID secretly want to be presented with bondage manacles as a present, lol!


And Gabe would kill me, Lex told himself. Kill me a lot, and I probably wouldn't stop him if I thought he was going to steal - I mean, return Chloe to his house. It's only another year and she's off in a dorm anyway. He should understand my point.

ROTFL! Hilarious! The idea that Lex sees Gabe as a potential ‘kidnapper’… because the poor man might choose to drag his daughter back to her home. LOL! It’s hilarious seeing how Lex has become so used to having Chloe as an integral part of his life… that he sees ANY possibility of her being taken away from him as outright theft, LOL! I think I’d really love to see some kind of showdown between Lex and Gabe. It would probably end up as a showdown where Gabe has no idea that they’re competing, purely because he doesn’t see it as a competition at all. HE is Chloe’s father… and Lex is… well… Chloe’s best friend’s older brother? LOL! Seriously, Gabe would NOT see that as a threat at all, LOL!

Hmmm… except… Gabe knows Lex to be obsessive as well as inclined towards clinging onto anything that’s emotionally valuable. Perhaps Gabe might already have assessed the potential of Lex as a threat to time with Chloe…? Damn… now I really want a showdown!!!


"I might throw up if you don't stop babying her," Lucas grumbled. "I have things to do later."

"Oh? Maybe you're planning on going into work to catch up that day you took off without any notice," Lex asked.

LOL! No doubt, Lucas sees this statement as a sign of brotherly mockery, that’s actually hiding away a deep well of true affection, lol!


He nodded, smiling down at her and holding her by the elbows until she was dancing past him to Lucas. "Lucas! This is exactly what we've needed!"

The joy building in Lex took a sudden turn into dread. He didn't know what he'd done here. It was supposed to be a gift, but it was powerful. It had changed the face of politics, religion, education and society at large. Somehow, he had never allowed himself to consider what might result from giving Chloe the means at his disposal. Journalism ethics and emotional harmony had never really crossed his mind.

"Is it," Lucas asked, still holding on to his glum expression. "Yay."

His sarcasm didn't even touch Chloe's happy chanting of ominous plans. "-on the shelves by next Tuesday! I'll go get my proofs!"

She started running up the stairs before Lucas could find out what she'd meant, or Lex could warn her against throwing herself headlong. A thump told him she'd fallen, but she recovered within seconds and was pounding away down the hall. He looked at his half-brother and said, "She has proofs ready?"

ROTFL! Oh, Lex… what kind of beast have you unleashed? What kind of monster have you created?!?? ROTFLMAO! I love the way that Lex is only NOW becoming aware of the deeper and far-reaching ramifications of this ‘present’ that he had made for Chloe, lol!

And I loved, LOVED the way that Chloe practically leapt onto the printing press, like a wild predator jumping on a hapless bunny… She’s really hit the ground running on this, hasn’t she? It’s especially fun seeing how scarily and frighteningly quickly she went from grateful joy to manic action with this new toy of hers. I love it, lol!


"I found one of Andy's comics, took the staples out and scanned it in. It's just a small test printing to show her how it all works," he said, glancing up at the stone ceiling. It was impossible, especially with the noise of the press rolling, but he could swear he was able to hear Chloe's frantic running.

"You read Andy's books?" Lucas looked skeptical.

"He's my son. I felt obliged to check out his literature." Lex crossed his arms. "Do you have a problem with that?"

"No." The hint of amusement Lex suspected he'd see was hidden by his sibling's well-timed cough.

ROTFL! And also… ah HA! This now opens up a whole new realm of possibilities for Lucas’s attempts at matchmaking. He doesn’t have to go through the trouble of making physical puppet representations of Chloe and Lex and having the puppets enact a demonstration of a courtship. He can just draw the courtship of Adverb’s parents in the next installation of the comic book, and wait for Lex to read through it. GENIUS!!!


Lucas continued walking, but Lex stayed where he was. He could see over the rollers to the spot where Chloe was hugging herself and vibrating with glee. Robards said something over his shoulder, she grinned, and her impromptu wiggly dance turned into a sideways slip and fall.

"For the love of-" Ignoring his own safety rules, Lex started running toward her. He had to made a big circle around the press and the cinderblock bolsters that held it stable. He rounded the corner to see Chloe being helped to her feet by Robards and one of the other workers.

First of all… squeee, the cinderblocks have finally found a home! Yayy! Lol!

Also… lol at the way that Lex rushed over at the chance to pull Chloe into a rescuing embrace… only to find out that she was being fondled assisted to her feet by one of Lex’s newest employees. Yeah, yeah… I know that Lex wasn’t consciously aware that he was only rushing to Chloe for the chance to grope embrace her, but I’m sure he felt quite a bit of resentment seeing that chance taken away from him nonetheless, lol!


"I'm a fool," Lex said, letting the words sink in. Why did he keep deluding himself that anything would keep Chloe happy and out of trouble?

Lucas gave him a languid punch to the arm, and nodded with satisfaction. "Now there's the appropriate reaction. Where do you come up with these terribly misguided ideas?"

Very much in opposition to the safety rules, Lex wanted to chase his brother down and beat him with his own hardhat.

ROTFL! Love it! I love the hilarious ending, with both Luthor brothers looking in feared awe at this little blonde, who is quickly turning into some kind of frenzied journalistic monster, right in front of their eyes. It’s ridiculously funny imagining Chloe intimidating a whole family of Luthors and their collected staff… without even trying! Lol! You go, Chloe!!

This was a great chapter, Nonky. Thank you SO much for the awesome reveal. In retrospect, it makes sense that this would indeed be the PERECT present for Chloe, and I should have guessed the nature of the present a long time ago. But I’m embarrassingly slow, and it just didn’t occur to me. Awesome present! Great chapter! Excellent laughs! Please update soon!

[Flyingwoman]

Lucas continued walking, but Lex stayed where he was. He could see over the rollers to the spot where Chloe was hugging herself and vibrating with glee. Robards said something over his shoulder, she grinned, and her impromptu wiggly dance turned into a sideways slip and fall.

"For the love of-" Ignoring his own safety rules, Lex started running toward her. He had to made a big circle around the press and the cinderblock bolsters that held it stable. He rounded the corner to see Chloe being helped to her feet by Robards and one of the other workers.

She put a hand to the top of her hardhat, pushed it down, and pointed at a smeared slick on the floor with a smile. The pool of spilled liquid was dark like ink, and had made an impressive stain on her hands, sleeves and jeans. Chloe seemed delighted to have fallen, and had taken over the computer. It was hard to say for sure, but the maniacal gleam in her eyes was brighter than usual.

I'm a fool," Lex said, letting the words sink in. Why did he keep deluding himself that anything would keep Chloe happy and out of trouble?

Hm. I think Lex'd better whip out the ol' "pizza party if we go ninety days without a lost time accident!" angle.

[kitten]

Chapter Forty

He had never really discovered what a good day for boring paperwork was.

Lex looked out his office window, allowing himself a few moments to enjoy the sun he knew he wasn't going to get to see otherwise. Work was piling up, and he was feeling the strain of a family life that wasn't played out on memos, spreadsheets and meetings with lawyers. Chloe was forcing him to spend time with his brother, and she insisted work had to be forfeit to compensate for the bonding time. She was also as much a part of the castle's population as Lucas, so he had to try to check up on both of them.

Fatherhood responsibilities had also inexplicably doubled, despite the fact his son was a puppet. Lucas claimed to have been filling in while Lex was unaware of the boy's paternity, but had gleefully handed off the duties. Apparently puppets required at least as much consideration as non-fabric children, he thought with amusement. Little Adverb also owned enough toys to run his own retail outlet; not that Chloe or Lucas would own up to buying them.

I'm going to have to keep a closer eye on Lucas and his spending, he thought with considerably less amusement than his reaction to his spoiled children.

As a rather mundane example, Lex had seen a charge for a swing on Lucas' credit card, and nearly canceled it, assuming it must be a mistake. A second of doubt had made him dial his brother's cellphone instead. It was a gift for Chloe, who had said the backyard, despite the labour intensive topiary and landscaping, was too bare. She said it needed something homey, like a sandbox, his brother insisted. Then she changed her mind, turned around, flung herself into Lucas' waiting arms - Lex sneered audibly at that part - and voiced a desire for a swingset.

Knowing Lionel would go crazy over the portent of a child, he still agreed the swingset was a fine gift, and Chloe's tolerance was certainly worthy of a present. So he left the credit card bill as it was and counted himself lucky the swing was from a children's toy store and not the adult variety.

It might have been a sign from the universe to get a knock at his office door just then, because Lex found himself glad for the excuse to put off sitting at his desk. He walked over and met Enrique with a nod.

"Yes?"

"A truck has just pulled up with a delivery for Mr. Dunleavy or Miss Sullivan, sir," the butler said with a hint of sniffy disapproval. "The gentlemen are meant to be installing an outdoor fixture?"

"Don't worry, Enrique, it's not a bright green water slide or anything too undignified. You won't even have to clean it," Lex told him. "Chloe wanted a swing. I'll meet them and show them where it goes. I wasn't getting much done right now anyway."

Exhaling a few syllables that suggested he was more aggrieved than worried, Enrique stood aside and folded his arms behind his back. "I would be less questioning of Miss Sullivan's necessaries if they didn't include boxes of Pop-tarts for your son, sir, who -respectfully- does not eat."

It was an entirely rational argument, one that Lex would have made himself not long ago. He knew he couldn't upbraid an employee for being reasonable and keeping household spending on budget. It was true Adverb's little smile was sewn on and he didn't need food. The tone his butler took felt too personal and Lex was insulted on his son's behalf. If he ever had another felt son - all too probable since he and Chloe seemed to be avidly gathering children and Lucas' craft station was regularly restocked - he wouldn't stand for any intolerance of the boy's . . . condition.

"This old ruin of a house should serve the people who live here," the billionaire said firmly. "I'm certain the silly requests aren't too extreme, and even if they were, Chloe is still the least expensive woman to set up house with me. And Adverb may well need those Pop-tarts . . . for something. Excuse me."

Retreating from the judgment he saw in his butler's slightly leaning stance, Lex winced at the sour end to his rebuttal. It was very difficult to uphold strange purchases without having Chloe there to bring up highly dubious but somehow convincing alternate uses for a bobsled.

He straightened his collar and went out to arrange her swings. At least it would be there when she got home from school.

Pausing at the door, Lex marveled at his life. He was shacked up with a teenage girl with whom he had - by some means not even clear to himself - fathered two children. He was taking time out from LuthorCorp business to have a swingset put in the back yard.

I might be mellowing, he told himself with a momentary alarm.

Luckily, his sanguine manner was disproved as he waited for the swing to form from the large collection of metal posts. The first few minutes were almost interesting, but once he'd studied all the parts it was far from complicated. There was no reason it should take more than fifteen minutes.

He checked his watch and nearly sighed. He'd lost another half hour of a day that was only barely productive before the interruption.

"Ah, I have some things to do in the house, so I'll go back in. Please be sure it's safe to use, and feel free to come into the kitchen for a cold drink once you're done," he said.

One of them made a swatting gesture to acknowledge him, but Lex was already turning away. He could hardly accuse them of disrespect when they were busy working on something that could collapse on one of them. He returned to his office and wasted some time trying to decide which pile of papers should be given his scant attention.

Lex waited another half hour, and looked outside. He expected to see the job completed, but the swing was evidently resisting assembly.

He frowned. If Chloe had left directly after school let out, she would arrive before the men were done. It was an absurd amount of time to need just to do a simple job.

The delivery men putting the swings up were working rather lazily, setting it on the lawn in between Lucas' entrance and the windows of Lex's downstairs office. He noticed the cursory check of the chains was barely a glance, and there was no attempt to tighten any of the bolts even though they had shifted it several feet while working.

Lex scowled. He had work to do. Lucas should be taking care of this, but he was nowhere to be found. The delivery men didn't even push down on the swings to make sure they held. He stood up and knocked on the window, gesturing for the men to wait as he came outside.

He rolled up his sleeves and sighed. Chloe was a lot of trouble. Everywhere she went she found dangerous things to do or say. When she wasn't doing anything particular to get hurt she was choking on food or bumping into things. If she was going to be so careless she could at least eat more and get a bumper of fat to protect her internal organs. Lucas often caught her before any harm came her way, but he was unobservant.

So by the time Lex was outside and saw Chloe bouncing toward her new swings with a handful of hula hoops, he might have been unduly harsh. "GET BACK INSIDE THAT HOUSE BEFORE I BEAT YOUR ASS RAW! DROP THEM!"

She let the plastic hoops fall and ran up the stone steps to Lucas' apartment. The door slammed and Lex was left to the startled delivery guys. Realizing he had just tyrannized someone who looked like a harmless, cheery teenage girl, he smiled grimly.

"Don't judge me. You haven't spent the day watching her think of ways to die horribly," he said, gathering the hula hoops. "She was probably going to stand on the swing the first chance she got and try to spin all of these."

Given his temper, the delivery guys were happy to check all the bolts and yank on the swings until Lex was satisfied it was as secure as could be expected. He tipped them and said a pleasant farewell, hoping they didn't report him to the police on their way through town.Then he turned to the steps and climbed up to apologize to the blond tornado he knew was waiting for him.


Lucas looked up from his reading and arched an eyebrow in a way that was cheap imitation of Lex's mannerism. "I'm not done with the paper."

“I bought the paper, it's mine when I say you're done with it,” Lex told him. “And quit using my eyebrow. Give me my kids.”

When he was finished his list of demands he was enraged to find Lucas grinning. Taking the high chair to his own side of the table, Lex turned back and took Nasty as his brother held her up. But when he reached for the paper it was pulled down and Lucas planted his butt on it.

“Ugh,” he growled. “I'll send someone out for another paper.” He cuddled Nasty and let her purr against his chin, setting her down in his lap once he was seated. “What's this?”

There was a magazine next to his plate named The Weekly Lucas. His half-brother was featured in a thoughtful pose leaning on the balcony. His slacks and teal sweater seemed styled and a little artificial. Either Chloe was experimenting with her printing press, or she and Lucas had visited the novelty kiosk at the mall.

“It's an advance issue,” Lucas said enthusiastically. “You're getting it days before the other subscribers.”

“Yeah, okay, but when did you get a magazine?”

“Chloe loves me,” his younger brother breezed. “She thinks I'm worthy of a publication.”

Lex wondered which of the unlikely claims he should trounce first, and aimed for the money. “You have subscribers?”

“Mrs. Kent thinks I'm sexy. Lana just wants to be seen as someone who can read. The girls at Chloe's school want me bad.”

His nose wrinkled and the bald billionaire used his knife to open a page. “There isn't a centerfold, is there?”

Lucas shook his head. “We decided it was too conservative a town. But Chloe said she'll figure out something to do with those photos.”

His humoured tone said he was lying, but Lex stiffened.

“Joking! Chloe is a serious journalist. She had plenty to say about me without stooping to soft-core,” Lucas said. “I'm practically tired of talking about myself.”

Lex sniffed his disbelief and cautiously scanned the first page. “She sold ADS?!”

“Martha wanted a full cover back page ad, but she said it was more her budget to take the inside cover one. We threw in colour for free.”

Lex shook his head and put one hand on Nasty to calm himself. With the little kitten rumbling softly, he read through the table of contents.

“'Lucas' Fashion Revolution: Leather, ties and loafers,'” he read. “She did a ten page pictorial of you in suits? I wear suits all the time – nicer suits than you! Why do you get the pictorial?”

Lucas tipped the newspaper down and tapped the front cover of the magazine. “We might do a little something on you for a brotherly love issue,” he placated.

Lex frowned. What had his high school dropout brother done that merited this kind of attention? He had apologized to Chloe for yelling about the hula hoops, but she was obviously expressing a lingering grudge. There was no way Lucas was the more newsworthy brother.

Belligerently returning to reading, Lex sighed. He was great and Chloe just refused to recognize it. Luckily, their kids were much more astute and showed great promise in getting exactly what he meant even if he didn't yammer exhaustively about it. Nasty popped up and bumped her face on his wrist and he hugged her absently.

“Did Uncle Lucas give you your breakfast, Miss Paws,” he asked her. There was no point trying to force Chloe to think he wasn't bossy. The truth was that he was bossy, but only for good reasons. She would have to forgive him at her own pace, and until then he would steer conversations around her goading favouritism of Lucas.

“I was waiting for Chloe. She likes the way Chloe mashes up the food with a fork. That makes me queasy, so we wait for Mommy, don't we little fur-butt?”

Nasty let out a plaintive cry and Lex put down the magazine.

“You feed my son who doesn't have a mouth a stack of pancakes bigger than he is, but you let my daughter starve? And don't call her fur-butt. She's beautiful.”

He stood up and carried Nasty out to the kitchen. Once he appeared in the doorway several of the staff froze and looked at him with something like terror.

“Good morning,” he said neutrally. “Chloe is running a little late so I'm feeding Nasty.”

He watched them relax as if he had said a magic word somewhere in there. He suspected it might be Chloe's name. She was gaining a large amount of power in his home.

“I won't get in your way.”

One of the maids timidly reached out and Nasty gave a friendly tap of her paw to her. “I can hold her, sir,” she said.

“Thank you, Ashley.”

A blushing Ashley took the kitten and was immediately joined by the cook and another maid in petting her. Nasty graciously allowed the caresses and made all the appropriate kitten bliss noises. Lex opened her food cupboard and looked through the choices. She had eaten chicken for her dinner last night and beef the previous morning, according to Chloe's chart posted on the inside of the door. He grabbed a can of tuna flavour food and put it on the can opener.

When Lex turned around to take Nasty's vitamin down, he found all three of his employees staring at him intently. He smiled tightly and took out Nasty's Wednesday bowl as well. He crushed the pill between two spoons and tipped the can of food over in her dish. As he mashed the pill fragments and the food together he heard three small sighs behind him. He carried the dish over to his daughter and let her stick her nose in. If she smelled the pill she would balk, but her little mouth dug in immediately.

Lex made a soft noise of annoyance. “Lucas was letting you starve,” he complained. “He's going to have to get over his squeamishness or the next cover of The Weekly Lucas will be when he gets a black eye. Thank you, ladies. Breakfast is very good this morning.”

He took the bowl in one hand and Nasty in the other, keeping them together so she could continue her meal. As he left the kitchen he heard another group of wistful sighs.

Chloe was sitting next to Lucas when Lex and Nasty got back to the dining room. He put the kitten on the floor next to her mother and nodded at Chloe. She smiled.

“She's very hungry, I think she's in a growth spurt,” she said proudly. “And today you're going to go stay with grandpa aren't you? Fill up your belly and we'll go visit.”

Lex put his coffee down and his shoulders shifted. “Are you staying overnight? Do you want her toys and her bed packed?”

This was a shade of resentment too dark to be ignored. He sat up and put one hand out to pat Adverb.

The blond leaned down and stage whispered to Nasty. “Your Daddy's trying to pack us off and get rid of us. He thinks we're going to give him a day of peace.” She shook her head and spoke normally to him. “We'll be staying until the weekend, but most of her stuff is packed. I just need some of her food and her vitamins from the kitchen.”

He nodded. “So you'll be back Saturday?”

Lucas made an indistinct noise behind the paper and Chloe elbowed him.

“We'll be back Sunday a little after lunch. My Dad wants me to hang out with him for a little bit. I was going to leave Andy here but I can take him if you like. I think Lucas was planning on spending Friday night and Saturday in Metropolis.”

Lucas flopped the paper down to say, “Yep, you're on your own. Prance in your thong all you want. Wear the shiny one and mix a matching margarita. Treat yourself to a Julia Roberts movie marathon.”

His half-brother's mockery could be safely ignored, so Lex concentrated on securing his fatherly rights and responsibilities.

“I'll keep Andy,” Lex said hurriedly. “I mean, you'll have Anastasia and she's going to be all over the place getting into trouble. Is there a baby gate on your father's stairs? I'll send someone over to put one in.”

Chloe picked up the kitten, who was sleek with food and licking her chops happily. “She doesn't need a baby gate. She can climb stairs and get down safely as long as she takes her time. Do you want to see?”

His forehead crumpled into worried creases. “She never takes her time. She's nearly as bad as you when she eats. And she doesn't know how to walk. She runs everywhere! I don't think she should be on the stairs. Why can't she take the elevator?”

Chloe blinked and hid a smile. “Well, my father's house doesn't have an elevator, and she can't reach the buttons. So she's not going to be a spoiled little cat, she's going to learn how to get around by herself.”

Lex still looked like she had told him she was teaching the kitten to juggle knives, but he stood up. “She should practice on the stairs then. Come on, Nasty. You have to go slow, right? Slow? One paw at a time, and take your time. Pretend you're sleepy and you can't go very fast.”

Chloe leaned on Lucas' shoulder and licked her lips. “Do you think I'll even get out the door with her before he throws a fit?”

Her friend lowered the paper and said, “That wasn't a fit?”

“You thought that was a fit,” she asked.

“It seemed fit-ish,” Lucas told her. “And I think if you took Andy with you at the same time Lex would have the borders closed. He's definitely attached.”

From down the stone hallways they heard him yelp, “Nasty! Slow down!”

Chloe turned in her chair to face Lucas, and he listened as she worried. “Maybe this is a bad idea. You're much better when you see Lex for a few minutes and don't see him again for the rest of the day. Maybe I'll just go away tonight and come back in the morning. I don't want you guys to end up fighting non-stop. I don't like my men with swollen faces from punching each other.”

Lucas had finished with the paper, and was shuffling all the pages back in precise order. When Chloe asked for the paper he returned it to chronological order, but he always mixed up the pages for Lex. Things like that were hardly worth a huge fight, but Lex had his tolerance level set rather low for his brother. She might not even be able to get away for one whole night.

"Oh, we'll be fine. I'm just worried about you and Nasty ending up back here mysteriously in the middle of the night because Lex couldn't stand his women being across town," her friend said mildly. "I'm not saying he'd start a gas leak to make your father's house unsafe, but he'd certainly fake one to evacuate you guys. Honestly, he's got the IssueZ."

Very seriously intent on his mission to shuffle every page of the paper as far from any consecutive page as possible, Lucas nodded sternly.

It was hard to believe Lex would react as dramatically as all that, but Chloe saw the thorough job Lucas was doing jumbling up the newspaper. Lex was as disciplined in his work as he was unschooled in normal family interactions. He would stew half the day about the messed up paper, even if he had dozens more at hand. The only joke she'd heard him make was something about Cubist painters and geometry she didn't entirely understand.

Her gentle attempts to explain whimsy usually made him mad, like the hula hoop incident. Chloe smiled at her son across the table. She was glad Adverb could be there for Lex when she and Nasty were away.

"Don't you listen to your Uncle Lucas," she said sweetly. "Daddy has a really wonderful mind, and he's always been very measured in his parenting. This weekend will be fun."

Lucas made a nonsense noise that implied disbelief, and Chloe poked him. "Yes, it will be! Nothing weird at all about it."

Lex and Nasty appeared in the doorway, the little cat perched on his shoulder and held with both hands. He nodded to Chloe. "She's not bad on the stairs but it's safer if she's carried. So I'll send Dean and Salvatore with you to your father's house. They're both on shift tonight and you like them, right?"

He was sending bodyguards to protect her at her father's house. Chloe mumbled several positive things that didn't obligate her to accept the company of goons, and grabbed her coffee to escape before Lex decided they needed a nanny and some personal assistants, too.

[somethingeasy]

Chapter Forty


Fatherhood responsibilities had also inexplicably doubled, despite the fact his son was a puppet. Lucas claimed to have been filling in while Lex was unaware of the boy's paternity, but had gleefully handed off the duties. Apparently puppets required at least as much consideration as non-fabric children, he thought with amusement. Little Adverb also owned enough toys to run his own retail outlet; not that Chloe or Lucas would own up to buying them.

I'm going to have to keep a closer eye on Lucas and his spending, he thought with considerably less amusement than his reaction to his spoiled children.


Exhaling a few syllables that suggested he was more aggrieved than worried, Enrique stood aside and folded his arms behind his back. "I would be less questioning of Miss Sullivan's necessaries if they didn't include boxes of Pop-tarts for your son, sir, who -respectfully- does not eat."

It was an entirely rational argument, one that Lex would have made himself not long ago. He knew he couldn't upbraid an employee for being reasonable and keeping household spending on budget. It was true Adverb's little smile was sewn on and he didn't need food. The tone his butler took felt too personal and Lex was insulted on his son's behalf. If he ever had another felt son - all too probable since he and Chloe seemed to be avidly gathering children and Lucas' craft station was regularly restocked - he wouldn't stand for any intolerance of the boy's . . . condition.

ROTFLMAO! Oh my gods! His boy’s ‘condition’? His son’s condition is that he’s made of fabric and stuffing!!! ROTFL! I loved the beginning of this chapter, and the way it highlighted Lex’s view of reality slooowly degenerating, until he actually feels offended at anyone commenting about how his felt-puppet son is a picky eater. It’s hilarious seeing how Lex views Enrique’s critique about Adverb as a personal attack on Adverb, rather than a subtextual concern about Lex’s own sense of reality and sanity. Your butler is trying to check whether you still know fantasy from reality, Lex!! He’s NOT actually launching personal attacks against Adverb. LOL!

Even funnier was seeing how Lex still thought that all of his protective reactions towards Adverb were quite reasonable, and even charming… whereas Lucas’s attentions towards Adverb’s welfare and happiness were just insane, lol!


Pausing at the door, Lex marveled at his life. He was shacked up with a teenage girl with whom he had - by some means not even clear to himself - fathered two children. He was taking time out from LuthorCorp business to have a swingset put in the back yard.

I might be mellowing, he told himself with a momentary alarm.

Hmmm… mellowing out…? losing his sanity…? PoTAEtoe, PoTAAtoe!
LOL! But, then again, how can you expect Lex to make the distinction between the two… considering that he’s dealing with the siring and joint-custody of two children with a teenager with whom he’s never even made out with, lol! I can see how Lex would lose the distinction between fantasy and reality under those circumstances.


He rolled up his sleeves and sighed. Chloe was a lot of trouble. Everywhere she went she found dangerous things to do or say. When she wasn't doing anything particular to get hurt she was choking on food or bumping into things. If she was going to be so careless she could at least eat more and get a bumper of fat to protect her internal organs. Lucas often caught her before any harm came her way, but he was unobservant.

So by the time Lex was outside and saw Chloe bouncing toward her new swings with a handful of hula hoops, he might have been unduly harsh. "GET BACK INSIDE THAT HOUSE BEFORE I BEAT YOUR ASS RAW! DROP THEM!"

She let the plastic hoops fall and ran up the stone steps to Lucas' apartment. The door slammed and Lex was left to the startled delivery guys. Realizing he had just tyrannized someone who looked like a harmless, cheery teenage girl, he smiled grimly.

ROTFLMAO! Oh, Lex! I love how his tender care and obsessive concern gets lost in translation… and he ends up looking like a tyrannical, bullying asshole. Heck, he ends up feeling like a bullying, tyrannical asshole, and feels horribly guilty about trying to protect Chloe from her own whimsy. The poor man is just a volcano of repressed emotions just waiting to erupt. He really needs to get all of his obsessive devotion and overwhelming lust for Chloe OUT into the open, where he can deal with it in a healthy (and fun) manner… rather than expressing his frustrations with this kind of an outburst.


"Don't judge me. You haven't spent the day watching her think of ways to die horribly," he said, gathering the hula hoops. "She was probably going to stand on the swing the first chance she got and try to spin all of these."

ROTFL! It was even funnier seeing Lex going on the guilt-ridden defensive because he sensed the delivery guys ‘judging him’. ROTFL! Oh, Lex!

At least he was able to prompt the delivery guys into working faster AND more effectively, once they perceived that their employer was actually a rather scary, bad-tempered, vicious person on top of being an intimidating billionaire.


“I bought the paper, it's mine when I say you're done with it,” Lex told him. “And quit using my eyebrow. Give me my kids.”

When he was finished his list of demands he was enraged to find Lucas grinning. Taking the high chair to his own side of the table, Lex turned back and took Nasty as his brother held her up. But when he reached for the paper it was pulled down and Lucas planted his butt on it.

“Ugh,” he growled. “I'll send someone out for another paper.” He cuddled Nasty and let her purr against his chin, setting her down in his lap once he was seated. “What's this?”

ROTFLMAO! Oh, Lex! He’s actually now demanding quality time with his ‘kids’. He’s demanding that he be given a proper amount of time to bond with, not only an adorable but slightly spoiled little kitten… but also a stuffed puppet toy!!! ROTFLMAO! Oh, Lex! The scariest thing is that this actually represents Lex becoming a little more progressed and healthy in his emotional involvement, interactions and relations with others. This kind of madness is actually an improvement in Lex’s behaviour. Scary! LOL!


“Yeah, okay, but when did you get a magazine?”

“Chloe loves me,” his younger brother breezed. “She thinks I'm worthy of a publication.”

Lex wondered which of the unlikely claims he should trounce first, and aimed for the money. “You have subscribers?”

“Mrs. Kent thinks I'm sexy. Lana just wants to be seen as someone who can read. The girls at Chloe's school want me bad.”

His nose wrinkled and the bald billionaire used his knife to open a page. “There isn't a centerfold, is there?”

Lucas shook his head. “We decided it was too conservative a town. But Chloe said she'll figure out something to do with those photos.”

ROTFLMAO! Lucas has his own magazine. That is just AWESOME! Lol! And it’s so cute seeing Lex both incredulous as well as slightly jealous. Oh Lex! You undoubtedly gets mentioned in large-scale, mainstream magazine publications of ALL sorts all the time… surely you’re not to begrudge your little brother HIS little time in the teenie-tiny, localized spotlight?


Lex frowned. What had his high school dropout brother done that merited this kind of attention? He had apologized to Chloe for yelling about the hula hoops, but she was obviously expressing a lingering grudge. There was no way Lucas was the more newsworthy brother.

LOL! Apparently he is… he IS going to begrudge his brother’s chance at being the centre of a magazine. Don’t worry, Lex. I’m sure Chloe is hard at work at another magazine dedicated completely to the older Luthor brother as well… and you can bet that Lex’s magazine WILL have a centrefold in it, lol!

Heck, there probably will be two of three magazines dedicated to the various aspects of Lex that Chloe finds most fascinating. A gossip magazine… dedicated completely to Lex’s social and personal life; a business magazine, showcasing his entrepreneurship skills; and, of course, a porn adult magazine!


“Did Uncle Lucas give you your breakfast, Miss Paws,” he asked her. There was no point trying to force Chloe to think he wasn't bossy. The truth was that he was bossy, but only for good reasons. She would have to forgive him at her own pace, and until then he would steer conversations around her goading favouritism of Lucas.

“I was waiting for Chloe. She likes the way Chloe mashes up the food with a fork. That makes me queasy, so we wait for Mommy, don't we little fur-butt?”

Nasty let out a plaintive cry and Lex put down the magazine.

“You feed my son who doesn't have a mouth a stack of pancakes bigger than he is, but you let my daughter starve? And don't call her fur-butt. She's beautiful.”

ROTFL! Oh, LEX!!! At least he’s acknowledging that Adverb doesn’t actually need to be fed. I was getting a little concerned wondering about Lex’s possibly deteriorating grasp on reality… and was afraid that he would start yelling at people for not feeding the little stuffed puppet.


When Lex turned around to take Nasty's vitamin down, he found all three of his employees staring at him intently. He smiled tightly and took out Nasty's Wednesday bowl as well. He crushed the pill between two spoons and tipped the can of food over in her dish. As he mashed the pill fragments and the food together he heard three small sighs behind him. He carried the dish over to his daughter and let her stick her nose in. If she smelled the pill she would balk, but her little mouth dug in immediately.

Lex made a soft noise of annoyance. “Lucas was letting you starve,” he complained. “He's going to have to get over his squeamishness or the next cover of The Weekly Lucas will be when he gets a black eye. Thank you, ladies. Breakfast is very good this morning.”

He took the bowl in one hand and Nasty in the other, keeping them together so she could continue her meal. As he left the kitchen he heard another group of wistful sighs.

ROTFLMAO! Oh that was hilarious! I’ll bet anything that Lex thinks that collective ‘wistful sigh’ behind him was for Nasty’s departure. Lex just would NOT realize how damned tender, sexy and irresistible he himself must have looked taking such careful and considerate care of the furry, little baby animal. He couldn’t imagine that the entire serving staff was gazing wistfully at his back, just barely fighting off the urge to JUMP HIM! Rotflmao!


The blond leaned down and stage whispered to Nasty. “Your Daddy's trying to pack us off and get rid of us. He thinks we're going to give him a day of peace.” She shook her head and spoke normally to him. “We'll be staying until the weekend, but most of her stuff is packed. I just need some of her food and her vitamins from the kitchen.”

He nodded. “So you'll be back Saturday?”

Lucas made an indistinct noise behind the paper and Chloe elbowed him.

“We'll be back Sunday a little after lunch. My Dad wants me to hang out with him for a little bit. I was going to leave Andy here but I can take him if you like. I think Lucas was planning on spending Friday night and Saturday in Metropolis.”

Wait what?! Gabe actually wants to take about 50% of Lex’s family away from him… under the loophole excuse that Chloe is technically a member of the Sullivan family rather than the Luthor family?! *gasp* the nerve and audacity of the man!!!

LOL! Seriously though, it’s about time that poor Gave got some quality time with his baby. Yes, I know Chloe is absolutely exhausting and exasperating in her manic, mad energy… but she IS Gabe’s only baby, and I suspect that he has been missing her greatly… insanity and all.

It was absolutely hilarious seeing Lex just a tiny bit heartbroken about having his family stolen away from him… even if it was only going to be for a couple of days. LOL! Just look at how needy the poor man is. He’s being really obvious with his needy, frantic panic at the idea of Chloe leaving the Luthor mansion, even for a couple of days. I’m impressed that he didn’t call up Gabe and demand full custody rights over Chloe and Nasty, lol!


Chloe picked up the kitten, who was sleek with food and licking her chops happily. “She doesn't need a baby gate. She can climb stairs and get down safely as long as she takes her time. Do you want to see?”

His forehead crumpled into worried creases. “She never takes her time. She's nearly as bad as you when she eats. And she doesn't know how to walk. She runs everywhere! I don't think she should be on the stairs. Why can't she take the elevator?”

Chloe blinked and hid a smile. “Well, my father's house doesn't have an elevator, and she can't reach the buttons. So she's not going to be a spoiled little cat, she's going to learn how to get around by herself.”

Lex still looked like she had told him she was teaching the kitten to juggle knives, but he stood up. “She should practice on the stairs then. Come on, Nasty. You have to go slow, right? Slow? One paw at a time, and take your time. Pretend you're sleepy and you can't go very fast.”

ROTFL! At least he’s not yelling at Chloe and Nasty like a bullying tyrant this time. THIS time, he’s expressing his care, concern, protectiveness and tenderness in an appropriate manner. Does it make that much of a difference to be dealing with a Kitten-Daughter? Does Lex tone down the bullying when the concern is over his beloved daughter, rather than the daughter’s insane mother? Lol!

Or maybe he just knows that the Kitten won’t care if he yells at the top of his lungs. Cats just don’t respond to bullying the same way that humans (and dogs) do.


Lucas had finished with the paper, and was shuffling all the pages back in precise order. When Chloe asked for the paper he returned it to chronological order, but he always mixed up the pages for Lex. Things like that were hardly worth a huge fight, but Lex had his tolerance level set rather low for his brother. She might not even be able to get away for one whole night.

Uh-oh. It occurs to me that Chloe is absolutely right, and that a few days without her acting her a buffer between the two brothers might result in a homicide. Probably with Lex killing Lucas in a state of homicidal rage, but it could just as easily end up with Lucas accidentally killing Lex as well.


"Oh, we'll be fine. I'm just worried about you and Nasty ending up back here mysteriously in the middle of the night because Lex couldn't stand his women being across town," her friend said mildly. "I'm not saying he'd start a gas leak to make your father's house unsafe, but he'd certainly fake one to evacuate you guys. Honestly, he's got the IssueZ."

LOL! Lucas is so right! And it’s comments exactly like those that would drive Lex into that scary state of killing rage, lol!


Lex and Nasty appeared in the doorway, the little cat perched on his shoulder and held with both hands. He nodded to Chloe. "She's not bad on the stairs but it's safer if she's carried. So I'll send Dean and Salvatore with you to your father's house. They're both on shift tonight and you like them, right?"

He was sending bodyguards to protect her at her father's house. Chloe mumbled several positive things that didn't obligate her to accept the company of goons, and grabbed her coffee to escape before Lex decided they needed a nanny and some personal assistants, too.

ROTFLMAO! Poor Gabe! All he wanted was some quality time with his baby… and now it turns out that his sweet, cosy, safe home is about to be taken over by Luthor security forces.

Great chapter, Nonky. Thanks for the awesome update. Please post more soon!

[Flyingwoman]

Lex is the most valiant man on earth. Everything they throw at him: swing-sets, vanity publications, unfed kittens, he simply takes in stride.

I do worry that Chloe's week-end away might prove his breaking point.

[MASCH]

This story keeps getting weirder and weirder. It truly feels like mental patients running around with their delusions :)

[kitten]

Chapter Forty-One

It was about time I put my foot down at work, Gabe Sullivan thought with satisfaction. I needed a break, and I'll get to spend it with my little girl.

He hurried to pack away the newly acquired groceries, eager to be ready for Chloe's arrival. He had hours to wait yet, but that was enough time to have the whole house sparkling. He didn't want Chloe to spend her weekend tidying up after her old man, or waste any quality time on chores.

Gabe was looking forward to having her home for entire days, even as he knew there would be thousands of moments that made him feel ancient. Chloe would simultaneously send a text on her phone, work on her computer and watch the movie that required all his attention; it being after 8 p.m. and all. She would buzz around doing six different things in the kitchen, producing a breakfast with all hot items piping and cold items bracingly frigid. It was like a ballet of teenage girl, toaster, coffee maker and fridge.

And she might finally explain why the Luthors keep trying to buy renovations for the house, he thought, glaring at the french doors dubiously. It was only luck I was home to intercept those contractors before they knocked down my shed for a stable.

He had no idea why Lionel was wasting his prison bribes hiring people to give Chloe a pony. Even as a little girl she'd been nervous of horses. She was bigger and bolder, but had turned down many opportunities to learn how to ride. If she wasn't going to be tempted to ride with Clark during the height of her crush on the boy, horses were decisively not Chloe's thing.

Gabe wasn't going to worry about it. He suspected Lionel was just trying to wind up his sons the only way he had at his disposal. He was in prison for a long time, even if a parole came up. The man had to be dying for any amusement he could devise.

Sparing a moment of pity for Lex and Lucas, he headed for the laundry room to tame the pile of washing that was languishing in a forlorn heap. He assumed Chloe was doing her laundry over at Lex's, because she usually took charge of the hamper before he let it get to this sad state. Gabe narrowed his eyes in distaste, and picked an armload up to dump directly into the washer. He was reasonably sure nothing worse than a misplaced paper clip or pen top was mixed in there. The situation was far past colour sorting and stain removal.

He washed his hands and checked his watch, making a face when he saw it was still only morning. Between school and her paper, Chloe was busy until four. He was really going to have to work on his hobbies or he was going to start causing trouble just to break up the days. He walked around gauging the need to vacuum.

If the Luthors do sneak some contractors in, I wouldn't mind a hardwood floor, he mused.

The phone rang, and he shrugged to himself. Grinning at the excuse to avoid the housework, he picked up with a cheerful greeting.

"Hhh-Gabe! I don't have much time!" Jonathan Kent sounded frantic, gasping around words and practically yelling.

"Jonathan, what's wrong? Is it the kids?" Feeling for his car keys in his pocket, Gabe looked out the window for emergency vehicles.

"You deserve to know, and I don't know why no one else has told you. I'm sorry, Gabe. I promise I only found out recently. I have no idea how it was hidden for so long," he said sadly. "Chloe had a baby. I think it was with Lucas Luthor, but I honestly don't know for sure. I've seen it. Martha didn't want me to say anything but - you're her father."

The silence swallowed any thoughts and Gabe didn't reply. Over the phone line, Jonathan thumped the old kitchen phone and asked, "Gabe? I didn't want this to be how you found out, but . . . I'd want to know if it was Clark."

The guilt shook Gabe enough to say, "Yes, I know. I am, I-I do want to know. She'll need me."

"I think - we can all come together and make this work out," Jonathan said anxiously. "You known Martha and I think the world of Chloe. She's a smart young woman. Both of you know you can call on us."

It was a kind, sincere offer, and it should have warmed some of the empty panic in his chest. Gabe nodded at the phone, and cleared his throat. Blaming Jonathan Kent wasn't fair. "I appreciate that. I honestly don't know what we'd need, but . . . it's good of you to say so."

"I really mean it. Anything at all. I know the same goes for Clark, too. I wish I could have come over and told you a little gentler, but I had to go against Martha to call you. I should hang up before she comes in."

There were a thousand questions pushing to the front of the line, and Gabe sputtered as he tried to voice one. "I understa-"

The line went dead and he let the phone drop to his side. Gabe blinked slowly as the urge to throw a tantrum built up. He'd wanted to give his daughter everything, and see her claim her bright future first before she undertook marriage and children. He'd tried to cover every teenage issue forthrightly, and fought past the embarrassment to explain sex was special and should be held sacred. His Chloe wasn't supposed to be a young mother struggling to get by. She was too smart to be limited by the needs of a baby.

He replaced the phone and sank onto the sofa. It wasn't as if he was a scary dad. He was approachable. He was very clear about his own flawed judgement and expected only that she try to learn from his past errors. At the very least, his health insurance should have sent an invoice for medical expenses. It was ridiculous that Chloe had gone and had a baby with a Luthor and kept it absolutely secret.

It is ridiculous, he thought. It's completely ridiculous. Lex gets photographed buying gas, and Chloe has pestered everyone in town for an interview at one time or another. There is no way they managed to have a baby without an angry mob rising up. It's not true. It can't be true.

Gabe leaned forward and hugged himself. He didn't know what was wrong with his neighbour, but he knew his girl. Chloe might have had a baby with her, but she babysat sometimes. She could have been sitting at the Talon and offered to keep an eye on a stroller while a friend visited the ladies' room. There were a thousand reasonable ways she could have had a baby with her while not being the baby's mother.

He exhaled so long he saw static float across his vision. It was really his own fault for not having faith in Chloe. She wasn't careless or thoughtless. Accidents did happen, but he would bet on his life that particular kind of accident wasn't going to happen to her.

He shot an irritated look toward Kent farm, and resolved to straighten out Jonathan's mistake soon. Everyone knew the farmer was a gossip. It wouldn't hurt for him to feel a little ashamed of his meddling, Gabe thought. I can't believe I let him get me going like that.

He carried on with his day as planned, leaving the phone call for another time when he would be more measured in his critique of Jonathan's help. The man had probably been trying to raise the alarm, and he had seemed genuinely upset for Chloe.

"Small towns," he muttered humorously.

He had put his momentary terror firmly in perspective by lunchtime, when the phone rang again. Gabe picked up and braced for more of Jonathan's eccentricities.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Gabe. Lex Luthor here. I'm not disturbing you, am I?"

A flush spread across his face as he remembered his earlier suspicions. Gabe cleared his throat and said, "No, not at all. Do they need me at the plant?"

"Nothing like that. I wanted to drop off some things for Chloe, since she'll be there with the baby for the weekend. It's not much, but some of it is too heavy for her to be hauling around. Are you at home all afternoon?"

It was so casual he nearly missed it. Gabe mumbled, "Sure. I'll be here," but his mind was racing. He must have heard wrong. Lex and Chloe wouldn't have a secret baby only to have him find out in this insensitive manner. His head hurt badly, and he blinked at a sting of tears.

"Great. It shouldn't take long. I'll get my team to drop the stuff inside before they check the perimeter. I know Chloe thinks I'm being fussy, but there's no harm in caution," Lex said happily. "I hope you three enjoy your weekend. Please remind Chloe to call if she needs anything."

The grumble Gabe couldn't hold in must have sounded like agreement, because his boss replied, "Okay, I'll talk to you soon. Goodbye."

For the second time that day, Gabe Sullivan allowed madness into his soul.


As she parked in the driveway of her house, Chloe blew blonde hairs out of her eyes. She was excited to be home for a while, but it had only just occurred to her to worry about her father's response to Lex's interference. She hadn't quite asked permission to bring her kitten with her, though she didn't know of her father having any allergies.

It's fine, she told herself. Weird to have Dean and Salvatore hanging around the back yard to protect us from ninjas or Godzilla or whatever, but we'll be too busy having fun to notice after a while.

It took a few minutes to gather up her bags and the big woven basket Lex had provided to cart Nasty around. It had clips that fastened to a seat belt, and a strong mesh to close over the top and contain the kitten in safety. Chloe suspected it might be a custom design, because the whole thing was Lex's signature purple.

She pulled the mesh off and checked on Nasty, who was sprawled in a nap. "We're going to see Pop-pop," Chloe told her. "We're going to have so much fun. Pop-pop tells corny jokes, and rents terrible movies that have plot holes the size of small nations!"

Grinning as she approached the door, Chloe noticed a car pull up across the street. It was carefully mundane but she knew a security detail when she saw one. Rolling her eyes, she figured it was pretty lucky she'd talked Lex out of having them childproof the entire house. Her father liked being able to open his windows without needing an alarm code and crowbar.

She let herself in and called happily, "Hey Dad! I'm home!"

Chloe glanced up, expecting footsteps to begin somewhere in the house. She didn't hear them. A red carpet wasn't required, but she had expected he would be around. Shrugging, she laid down all but the basket. Nasty would need some supervision before she could be trusted to her own discretion. She was very like her father that way.

"Sweetheart?" The tentative greeting was frail and brittle. She was certain he had fallen ill sometime during the day, and needed a doctor. Chloe stepped forward and frowned at her father's stern expression. "I'm not sure I'm up for this, Chloe. I didn't expect . . . you'd be bringing . . . "

Chloe faced her father anxiously, and held Nasty's basket closer to her side. She didn't know what he was thinking, but she hadn't played fair bringing the kitten home with her as a surprise instead of telling him about her. “Dad-”

He shook his head and took a step back, rubbing his stomach. “I don't – I can't -” he stopped and shook his head. “I can't.”

Chloe chased after him, hoping it didn't wake her baby. “Listen, Dad, I can get back in my car right now, but I thought you should meet her before you decide anything. She's sleeping now, but can't you just look at her?”

He turned to her pleading face and nodded like she was asking him to jump off a cliff.

He took the basket from her and put it on the table, slowly peeling back the fuzzy blanket over his granddaughter. It was going to come to this anyway, he thought bleakly. Anyone of Chloe's was his, too. He looked in and braced himself, but what he saw was a complete shock.

“That's a kitten,” he yelled.

She winced and held her finger to her lips. “Yes, she's a kitten, what else would she be?”

Nasty's head popped up from her basket and she looked right at her loud grandpa. “You're carrying a basket and a diaper bag,” Gabe sputtered. “I don't know. I'd like to think I'd find out but you're damn good, kid. I'm not getting any younger and you're over at Luthor's half the time.”

Chloe patted her father's arm and smiled brightly. “I would tell you if I was pregnant, Dad. I'd be asking you to break his penis for me.”

Smiling proudly, he grinned at the kitten, too. “She's a saucy little thing. You'll get along well.”

Chloe stuck her hand in the bag of Nasty's stuff and came up with Andy's latest picture, posed carefully in Lucas' pirate hat. “And this is the puppet baby Lucas made for me. His name is Adverb but Lex calls him Andy.”

Gabe took it absently and wandered off to get the coffee started. His legs would get feeling back soon if he wasn't having a real stroke.

[Flyingwoman]

Oh God.

*offers Gabe a tumbler of Scotch to help him recovery more quickly*

Now that that's over I say we quietly foreclose on the mortgage to the Kent farm and use the money to provide Jonathan with the care he so desperately needs...

[somethingeasy]

Chapter Forty-One


It was about time I put my foot down at work, Gabe Sullivan thought with satisfaction. I needed a break, and I'll get to spend it with my little girl.

He hurried to pack away the newly acquired groceries, eager to be ready for Chloe's arrival. He had hours to wait yet, but that was enough time to have the whole house sparkling. He didn't want Chloe to spend her weekend tidying up after her old man, or waste any quality time on chores.

ROTFL! Poor Gabe. The poor man is already suffering from empty nest syndrome, even before his daughter leaves for something as basic as college. I find it sadly hilarious how poor Gabe is gratified for whatever small amount of quality time he manages to steal away for himself and his baby girl.

Hopefully Chloe will spend her time at home doing some seriously intense bonding with her poor neglected dad… for a couple of days… until Lex manages to manufacture some kind of emergency that lures Chloe back to the mansion again… and if she’s NOT lured back, you can bet that he’s going to manage to have her brought to him… chloroformed and chained up if necessary… for her own good of course, lol!


And she might finally explain why the Luthors keep trying to buy renovations for the house, he thought, glaring at the french doors dubiously. It was only luck I was home to intercept those contractors before they knocked down my shed for a stable.

He had no idea why Lionel was wasting his prison bribes hiring people to give Chloe a pony. Even as a little girl she'd been nervous of horses. She was bigger and bolder, but had turned down many opportunities to learn how to ride. If she wasn't going to be tempted to ride with Clark during the height of her crush on the boy, horses were decisively not Chloe's thing.

ROTFLMAO! It was amusing enough imagining Lex wanting to renovate Chloe’s ‘home away from home’ (Chloe’s true home being Luthor manor of course)… but it’s side-splittingly hilarious imagining Lionel Luthor being the one responsible for all of these renovations… all for his own twisted, inexplicably psychotic, sociopathic reasons. I really don’t know whether Gabe should be amused or terrified, lol!

A pony?! Lionel wanted to give Chloe a pony?! Is that a sign of affection, or a hope that she’ll break her neck trying to learn how to ride… OR is it a test for her to prove her worthiness somehow?! Ride a horse to prove that you’re worthy of running an empire alongside the Luthor heir/s? lol! Oh, Lionel… you twisted f*ck! Gotta love him (in this fic!). Can we have more of him please?!??


"Hhh-Gabe! I don't have much time!" Jonathan Kent sounded frantic, gasping around words and practically yelling.

"Jonathan, what's wrong? Is it the kids?" Feeling for his car keys in his pocket, Gabe looked out the window for emergency vehicles.

"You deserve to know, and I don't know why no one else has told you. I'm sorry, Gabe. I promise I only found out recently. I have no idea how it was hidden for so long," he said sadly. "Chloe had a baby. I think it was with Lucas Luthor, but I honestly don't know for sure. I've seen it. Martha didn't want me to say anything but - you're her father."

*head desk* oh, Jonathan!!! Lionel sent me laughing… and now Jonathan is amusing me in a completely different kind of way. At least Lionel had my foremost respect with the way that he was messing with Gabe’s mind… Jonathan only has my amused contempt for the way that he’s trying to spread panic about Chloe state to her poor father.

LOL! At least I can take solace in the knowledge that Jonathan is obviously being harangued, condemned, censured, censored, reprimanded and dressed down by Martha Kent. She’s obviously been screening his calls, watching his every move… and she’s NOT going to be pleased to know that he managed to escape her guard and sneak a phone call while her back was turned. Oh he’s in trouuuuuble, lol!


He replaced the phone and sank onto the sofa. It wasn't as if he was a scary dad. He was approachable. He was very clear about his own flawed judgement and expected only that she try to learn from his past errors. At the very least, his health insurance should have sent an invoice for medical expenses. It was ridiculous that Chloe had gone and had a baby with a Luthor and kept it absolutely secret.

It is ridiculous, he thought. It's completely ridiculous. Lex gets photographed buying gas, and Chloe has pestered everyone in town for an interview at one time or another. There is no way they managed to have a baby without an angry mob rising up. It's not true. It can't be true.

Gabe leaned forward and hugged himself. He didn't know what was wrong with his neighbour, but he knew his girl. Chloe might have had a baby with her, but she babysat sometimes. She could have been sitting at the Talon and offered to keep an eye on a stroller while a friend visited the ladies' room. There were a thousand reasonable ways she could have had a baby with her while not being the baby's mother.

Poor Gabe. Obviously the dear man is a LOT smarter, wiser and savvy than the intellectually inept Jonathan Kent… and he’s already seeing ALL the flaws in Jonathan’s conspiracy theory of Chloe hiding away a baby. But I really loved how, despite all of Gabe reasonable, logical rationalizations… a part of him can’t HELP but panic a little at the idea of Chloe being impregnated at such a young age. He IS a dad, and it just wouldn’t be natural for him not to panic… just a little bit… at even the most ridiculous conspiracy theories directly involving his baby girl.

LOL! Great job in capturing and conveying a minor breakdown, Nonky. It was a LOT of fun to read, lol! And I really appreciated reading how Gabe weathered through the mini-breakdown… and came out the other side balefully angry at Jonathan, and plotting revenge against the nosy, gossipy farmer. LOL! He’s truly Chloe’s father alright, lol!


"Nothing like that. I wanted to drop off some things for Chloe, since she'll be there with the baby for the weekend. It's not much, but some of it is too heavy for her to be hauling around. Are you at home all afternoon?"

It was so casual he nearly missed it. Gabe mumbled, "Sure. I'll be here," but his mind was racing. He must have heard wrong. Lex and Chloe wouldn't have a secret baby only to have him find out in this insensitive manner. His head hurt badly, and he blinked at a sting of tears.


For the second time that day, Gabe Sullivan allowed madness into his soul.

ROTFLMAO! Oh, Gabe! Oh, Lex! Oh, GABE!!! ROTFLMAO! OMG!!! The sad thing is that Lex is a LOT more convincing fanning the flames about this baby conspiracy than Jonathan could ever hope to be… and Lex wasn’t even trying to spread gossip or panic, lol! Lex just wasn’t thinking… that was the problem! Lex has reached a state where he thinks it’s perfectly normal to refer to a kitten, and a PUPPET as his baby son and daughter… to the extent where he skirts close to referring to Gabe as their grandpa, lol!


It's fine, she told herself. Weird to have Dean and Salvatore hanging around the back yard to protect us from ninjas or Godzilla or whatever, but we'll be too busy having fun to notice after a while.

ROTFL at Chloe’s rueful thoughts about Godzilla protection. Sadly though, this IS Smallville… and Godzilla-like creatures are not completely outside the realm of possibility, lol!


"Sweetheart?" The tentative greeting was frail and brittle. She was certain he had fallen ill sometime during the day, and needed a doctor. Chloe stepped forward and frowned at her father's stern expression. "I'm not sure I'm up for this, Chloe. I didn't expect . . . you'd be bringing . . . "

Chloe faced her father anxiously, and held Nasty's basket closer to her side. She didn't know what he was thinking, but she hadn't played fair bringing the kitten home with her as a surprise instead of telling him about her. “Dad-”

He shook his head and took a step back, rubbing his stomach. “I don't – I can't -” he stopped and shook his head. “I can't.”

Chloe chased after him, hoping it didn't wake her baby. “Listen, Dad, I can get back in my car right now, but I thought you should meet her before you decide anything. She's sleeping now, but can't you just look at her?”

Oh dear me… this was hilarious as heck… but also a genuinely sad moment at the same time. It’s actually pretty sad how Chloe’s homecoming and happy family reuinion was spoiled a little by Jonathan’s idiocy and Lex’s thoughtless words… but, then again… HILARIOUS! lol! All of this fuss, bother, fanfare and nonsense… being caused over a spoiled kitten, ROTFLMAO!


Chloe patted her father's arm and smiled brightly. “I would tell you if I was pregnant, Dad. I'd be asking you to break his penis for me.”

Smiling proudly, he grinned at the kitten, too. “She's a saucy little thing. You'll get along well.”

ROTFLMAO! It figures that the promise of violence has Gabe completely cheered up. He really IS Chloe’s father alright… AND, he’s going to fit in perfectly into the Luthor clan, eventually… once he gives his blessings for the union… a hundred years from now, lol!

Honestly, I loved how Gabe so strongly and explicitly approved of Chloe’s bloodthirstiness… making it clear that he would be MORE than happy to break any number of balls, penises and assorted body-parts… if his lovely daughter complained about being touched by any lechers out there, lol!


Chloe stuck her hand in the bag of Nasty's stuff and came up with Andy's latest picture, posed carefully in Lucas' pirate hat. “And this is the puppet baby Lucas made for me. His name is Adverb but Lex calls him Andy.”

Gabe took it absently and wandered off to get the coffee started. His legs would get feeling back soon if he wasn't having a real stroke.

LOL! At least Chloe made a point of making sure that she called Adverb a puppet baby… rather than referring to him as the son that Lucas helped her make, lol! I don’t think Gabe could have taken three mini-breakdowns in the course of a single day.

But the day is young yet… there might still be some horrific frights and shocks just waiting around the corner for poor Gabe, lol!

Great chapter, Nonky. Thanks for the awesome update. Please post more soon… I find that I LOVE this new focus on Gabe, and I want more. Also… more Lionel too please?!

[skyblue78]

Poor Gabe! Got to love how he's able to roll with it though. Love this story, never know what's going to happen next!

[BackupLover]

AHAHA poor Gabe! Your Chloe certainly gives him a run for his money with these spur-of-the-moment adoptions- even if they are non-human. Loving this story!

[Emch]

Good start. Me think I'm going to read this one in one go.

[kitten]

Chapter Forty-Two

I wish I remembered CPR from health class better, Chloe thought dubiously. For the next time Lex announces the existence of our scandalous love child to my unsuspecting father. Maybe I should sign up for a first aid class.

Father and elusive daughter had eaten a fine meal, while Nasty ate her nutritionally balanced cat food from an embarrassingly ornate silver dish. Gabe mumbled something under his breath about 'silver spoons' but let it go for the moment. Chloe had just begun to believe her father was over his shock when she saw a large, goonish figure pass by the window. She wrinkled her nose and hurriedly tried to think if Lex had been whining about death threats from anyone in particular.

She knew the bodyguards were there for her protection, but Chloe had assumed that was just Lex fussing. He fussed over meals and accidents and television shows with violence and adult language. He even worried about Lucas, which was an unfortunate combination with his poorly hidden laughter when a Lucas plan turned into a Lucas injury.

Brothers don't make a lot of sense, she thought. But I thought I understood this whole guard situation. I understood it was neurotic and silly, but Lex's place gets home-invaded every other month. My dad's house is much, much safer. I just didn't want to hurt anybody's feelings by saying so. I'm sure Dean and Salvatore really do try their best.

She excused herself from the table and went to the downstairs bathroom, feeling in her pocket for her phone. She dialed Lucas and turned on the water to drown out her whispering. Naturally, his greeting was an ear-splitting impression of Jack Nicholson going insane.

"Heeeeeeeeeere's Johnny!"

"Hi Lucas, it's me."

He paused, and she heard him rolling over on the sofa. "You missed me! I knew you would. What can I do for you? My Christopher Walken impression? Do you want to hear how awesome I was today? I can make soothing ocean sounds to help you sleep," he offered graciously. "Do you need me to bring some stuff to you? You forgot your toothbrush, didn't you? Saynomore!"

She grinned, but forced her voice to be disapproving. "No, Lucas-"

"I said, say no more!"

"But I have to ask you something. Are these guards supposed to be guarding me from someone in particular, or is Lex just being . . . you know?"

Giving a guttural throat-clearing, Lucas put on his scholarly voice. "My brother is a cad! And a nincompoop! But he's just being himself. There's no real reason to have them there, except to protect you from starlight on a 45 degree angle, and rogue black holes. There was an orientation meeting about rabid creatures and snakes, but Lex has launched laser-equipped satellites to shoot down any comets. There's a pretty good chance you guys will be fine. What's up?"

She glanced out the tiny, very high bathroom window, batting the curtain away from her eyes. "I think I saw somebody going into the backyard. I didn't think they'd be wandering all around. My father just met Nasty and he's not so sanguine about my instant family. I'm pretty sure the aftershocks of the rumours about my pregnancy are giving him heartburn."

Lucas snickered not so quietly he was worried about her hearing it, and Chloe pouted. It would be nice to be the one getting humoured instead of the one having to accommodate an irrational viewpoint.

"Dean and Salvatore can't really be called upon for stealth. You know who would provide accommodating and unexceptional home security? Me! I'll be right over!"

"No, pleeeeeease don't show up here! My father is just starting to get some colour back. Could you just ask Lex about this?"

"Are there any ninjas hanging from the trees? They might be dressed in camo and blending in with the foliage," Lucas suggested.

Chloe sighed violently.

"Fine! If you insist on doing things the boring way."


Lex cracked his eyes open when the distinctive "Chloe" ringtone came from his brother's phone. He had been enduring Lucas' uninterrupted company since seven p.m., when it had sunk in for both of them that she really wasn't coming back that night. Or the night after, or the night after that, he thought dismally. It felt like forever.

Lucas, who had before been occupied with Chloe and Nasty activities, had leeched to his side like a . . . leech, Lex supposed. He had not only eaten his usual breakfast with Lucas, but been joined by his half-brother at lunch in the plant. They had driven to work separately, but Lucas had ordered a rack of lamb for dinner and waited until Lex was there to eat. Chloe would be touched to document how long they'd spent together that day. He was equally suspicious of Lucas' motives and sure the cause was simply missing Chloe.

On the other hand, if after the movie Lucas wanted to sleep in the same bed, Lex was going to object to having to make up her absence. He settled Andy in the crook of his arm and went to the bar to refill his drink. It was hardly the day to attempt any more misery tolerance. To a healthy level of anesthesia, he toasted himself.

Meeting Andy's little puppet gaze, he told himself puppets couldn't absorb bad habits regarding alcohol use. He probably didn't even have a tiny felt liver. Lex strolled back toward the sofa and sat the boy on his own pillow, giving him a little squish to try to decide if Lucas' puppet sewing had included small internal organs.

"Are there any ninjas hanging from the trees? They might be dressed in camo and blending in with the foliage," Lucas said into the phone.

It was very much to be hoped Lucas was asking about an action movie Chloe had watched with her father. The activity also explained why Lucas had been insistent on movie night; it was a long-distance way to piggyback on Chloe's activities.

It's beyond me how she puts up with this, Lex told himself. I nearly killed him for the incessant popcorn munching.

He addressed Andy warmly. "You wouldn't tell if I kill your uncle, right? Puppet fatherly loyalty being thicker than ugly half-sibling insides?"

Andy met his eyes with a steady attention he gave to everything. His boy was a thinker. Not a deep thinker, maybe, but still infinitely better than Lucas with his all-talk laziness. And, somehow, the green gaze of the puppet boy seemed to urge another bout of patient tolerance for Lucas.

"You really take after your mother," Lex sighed. "You're a good boy. I'll try not to kill him."

"Fine! If you want to do things the boring way," the teenager said before lowering the phone. "Lex? Are the bodyguards really necessary at Chloe's house? They are making things weird."

"Well, they ensure the welfare of anyone at the Sullivan house. I suppose a person with fewer impulses to die horribly might get by without them, but neither am I willing or able to permit that experiment."

His half-brother waited, as if giving Lex a chance to renounce previous statements and come up with the correct answer to win a prize. Or Chloe's approval.

"They stay as long as she does," he barked. "Tell Chloe she's lucky I don't have her followed all the time."

Lucas cringed at the wording, which did feel a bit aggressive when Lex thought back on it. He frowned. "You know what I mean."

Making faces all the while, Lucas put the phone to his ear and said crisply, "Listen, he just went full serial killer and all I did was ask about it. Probably you should just put the lotion on and then put it back in the basket. Can I sleep there tonight? I don't feel safe here."

Over the phone, Lex could distantly hear Chloe's squeaking protests, but evidently Lucas' need for approval was dwarfed by his need for attention.

"I will be right there, my dearest! As fast as my legs can take me," Lucas said brightly. "Love you, sorrygottago!"

Lex looked at the freeze frame of a car chase on the television. "You know, it sounded like you weren't invited over. I thought we were giving Chloe time with her father."

The very happy look on the teenager's face was enough to wish for a horrible fate awaiting him at the Sullivans' - as long as no one important got hurt. If anyone deserved to be eviscerated by tree ninjas . . .

"She misses me, can't live without me. Worships the ground, etcetera. I just hope she'll be okay once I marry twin Penthouse pets and move to Hollywood," Lucas supplied thoughtfully. "Well, I have to grab my stuff."

Lex picked up Andy and stood, his brother eying him warily. "I guess I'll drive you, then. It's not every day you go to your first sleepover."

It was a clear challenge, if a juvenile one, and they each tensed in concentration. Lucas dropped his chin first and said, "Thanks! That's nice of you. But I'm cool."

"No. I insist."

"Really, I couldn't. I mean, you're watching Andy," Lucas tried.

"Andy has a car seat."

Shaking his head in wonder, Lucas squinted. "You bought a puppet a - you know, a ride would be great! I will get ready, you can drive me over there, and who the hell knows what else will happen! It seems like that kind of a night."

Picking up his son, Lex scowled darkly at the possibilities. "Come on, Buddy, we'll visit your mother," he said. "Did you have a sweater?"

Upholding his status as the most pleasant Luthor man, Andy only smiled quietly.


Chloe reread the popcorn instructions without really seeing them, certain disaster was heading in her direction. Lucas spending time with her father was iffy at best. Lucas spending the night commenting on Lex's overprotective impulses would set all the alarms off for Gabe.

I just wanted a nice movie night watching a terrible movie, she lamented silently. A tiny chunk of normal life before the next meteor mutant tries to eat all the telephone poles or something. That would have to be one huge freak. Huh, I wonder if people could be mutated into giants. Physics says no, but it says a lot of things that don't apply here.

She picked a time and started the microwave, idly tipping her head to watch the bag spin. Every once in a while the large shadow passed the windows, but her father hadn't seemed to notice. He had warmed up to Nasty considerably since he'd realized there was no way a kitten could be the biological offspring of his human daughter.

Chloe was not sure her father considered Lex human. Gabe had muttered something irritably about 'hound dogs' and 'restraining orders.' Most lawyers in the state had to be either working for Luthors or justifiably terrified of them, so she didn't really think he'd follow through. It just seemed mean to ruin her father's rant with logic.

"Uncle Lucas is driving your Daddy bonkers, Nasty," she informed the cat easily. "So he's going to hide out with us and Pop-pop! Help me mediate, okay? Whenever my Dad looks a little irritated, prance right over and give him kisses."

Her father adored Nasty, almost as much as he hated her nickname. The evening could still go - not well, but . . . okay-ish. There really was no point trying to keep Lucas away if he was desperate to visit. She had just about talked herself into feeling glad to see her friend when the doorbell rang.

"Hi. Come in, we're in the living room," Chloe said, waving Lucas into the house.

"My treasure! I brought Lex!" Lucas darted past her with a pat and chased the cat down the hallway.

"You did what?!"

She felt a little bad sounding so horrified. Lex gave a rueful smile and extended a bag from a convenience store. "We brought snacks," he said, patting Andy's little body where it rested facing over his shoulder. "And this guy was asking about you."

"Hi. Hi Andy. Come in, I guess. I am really sorry Lucas derailed your night," Chloe told him.

"My night was a movie with Lucas," Lex said, managing to make it sound like exotic torture. "Despite what he thinks, Lucas is not inviting himself to stay overnight. He's verging on hopelessly co-dependent."

Then he handed off their puppet son and walked nonchalantly into her father's living room to horn in on the single night she'd planned to spend with her father. Chloe blinked a few times and wondered if she needed to print the definition of co-dependent for a few people of her acquaintance.

[trckyrcky]

Yipee! Happy dance!!! Been waiting for an update for this story and finally got one.