Blaire023
25th October 2004, 06:36
*reposted:this may have been posted in the humor section before...not sure*
Title: Hard Labor
Author: Blaire
Disclaimer: I don't own anything
Rating: PG13 for some language
Summary: Chloe's pregnant, and it's not all pansies and rosepetals as those stupid maternity magazines make it out to be.
A/N: Take it from someone's who's been there, done that. I've always heard that labor is different for everyone. I've watched three babies being born. Then I had mine and it was abso-@#%$-lutely nothing like everyone elses.
A/N2: Thanks to Sab and Kat who gave me positive fb, mostly. And to Mel who fed me words when I couldn't remember them, like victory. I think I said, "Hey, what's that word? It's the opposite of loses?"
Hard Labor
"LEX!"
Lex sat upright in his bed, silk sheets falling to his waist, his head turned left, then right. With a panicked start he realized Chloe wasn't in bed with him. "Chloe?" He called out to her.
"LEX!!"
Lex tossed the sheet aside and jumped out of bed, only to land face first in the plush knit of the carpet. He shook the sheet off from around his feet and climbed to his feet. He heard his name being yelled out again and ran across the room in three long-legged strides to the connecting bathroom door.
Chloe sat there on the toilet, her mouth turned down in a frown. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and leaned against the doorjamb. "What? What's wrong?" He moved towards her and knelt down. "Is it time?"
Chloe's face flushed and she tried squirming to the side on the toilet, her ballooned stomach keeping her from completing the task. "I...no.." Chloe shook her head, wispy blonde locks falling in her eyes. "We're umm, out of toilet paper."
Lex reared back with a shocked look on his face. "That's it?" The shock quickly turned to amusement as he shook his head in wonder. "Toilet paper. You screamed for me because you ran out of toilet paper."
Chloe took on the affronted look. "Well, I'm sorry, what was I supposed to do? It's not my fault I have to pee every five minutes. Junior is tossing and turning on my bladder and I'd just as well rather not have an accident on your precious silk sheets and be embarrased as hell. So yeah, I called out for you, I thought you would atleast pretend to understand, but seeing as how you obviously don't, if you'll excuse me, I'll just waddle on down the hall..." Chloe was cut off as Lex placed his hand over her mouth.
"I'm going."
Chloe nodded and bit the inner walls of her cheeks to keep the smile that wanted to bloom across her face. The Sullivan rant got him everytime.
Lex shook his head, aware of a sudden clenching in her mouth as she kept herself from smiling in victory. Lex mentally tallied the score, leaned over and brushed his lips across her forhead and excused himself to go hunt up some T.P. for his extremely pregnant wife.
*~*
"Stop it." Chloe whispered the words in her groggy sleep deprivated voice. Her eyes were still shut and her breathing was still deep but that didn't keep wandering hands from exploring her pregnant naked body.
"Can't, sorry." Lex ran his hands up her legs, to the insides of her thighs, back out again and up her stomach. "I can't stop touching you Chloe." He kissed his way across her expanding midsection and smiled against her protruding belly button. "You're so sexy."
Chloe groaned in mild amusement and pat him on his bald head. "Am not, you're just horny."
Lex disagreed with a low rumble and flicked his thumbs over her sensitive nipples then moved his hands to cup her full breasts in his palms. Then his hands went on a return route and moved back down over her stomach, tracing patterns there. "I love you."
"Mmmm." Chloe shifted and Lex looked back up at her to see that she'd fallen back asleep.
Chuckling softly to himself he pressed a final kiss to her navel and returned to his spot in bed beside her. His fingers trailed lazily over the stretchmarks running across her lower abdomen and he nuzzled his face into her hair, and settled down into a deep sleep.
*~*
Chloe's eyes popped open as her stomach tightened and she gnawed on her lower lip waiting for the pain to pass. Finally she exhaled an uneven breath and turned her face toward Lex. "Lex." His name came out as a strained whisper. She cleared her throat and tried again just as another contraction came. "LEX!"
Lex rolled over away from her on his side. She very faintly heard him mutter something about toilet paper. Chloe clenched her jaw and swung her leg out wide. Her foot connected with his ass and Lex woke up an instant before he landed on the floor. He turned around, knelt down beside the bed. "If you're going to abuse me, I'm going to go sleep in another room." He rooted around for the edge of the mattress then pulled himself up into the bed and under the covers.
"Lex." Chloe whispered again, pain lacing every breath. Her stomach tightened again, skin pulling taut and she screamed for all she was worth. "OH. MI. GOD!"
Lex sat upright and grabbed the blanket. "Fine, you stay. I'll go..." Chloe lunged for him and started sobbing. The last few weeks he'd regularly left in the middle of the night to find another place to sleep. Her restlessness kept him awake and she didn't blame him. But she would be damned if he thought he was going to go get some sleep while this child of his was trying to burst out through her navel.
"It hurts." She cried and tugged on his arm. "Make it stop."
Lex's body went stiff as he came completely awake. "You mean..."
"YES!" She screamed as tears rolled down her cheeks. If these were those stupid Braxton Hicks things she'd read all about she'd be majorly pissed off. "It's time, Lex."
Lex turned to his right, then to his left, mind made up he twirled toward the closet door, and swung the doors open wide, both smacking the walls behind them. "First, get the bag." Lex repeated in his head. Chloe moaned and his pulse skittered. "Almost, done, baby." Lex called out over his shoulder. "Bag, the bag." Without turning to look at her again he threw his hands up in disgust. "WHERE'S THE FUCKING BAG?!"
Chloe had managed to sit up on the side of the bed and gritted her teeth as a sharp pain spliced down her lower back to the heels of her feet. "It's in the car." She replied, hopefully loud enough for him to hear. When he turned and stared at her she reached her arms out to him. "I put it in the backseat of the Spyder."
Lex nodded dumbly and rushed over to her. "Okay, I'll get you down the stairs first, then. Then I'll, uhmmm..."
Chloe rolled her eyes and with one hand pressed to her lower back made it to her feet. "Quit with the stupid list, Lex. Just get me to the hospital, everything else will work out."
Lex nodded as if his neck was made of rubber. "You're sure it's time?" He asked slowly. Chloe rounded on him, her face bright and her eyes sparkling. "Take that as a yes." He muttered under his breath and put an arm around her to lead her out to the hallway. "Okay, down the stairs and out the door."
Chloe could feel her nerves wearing thin. That had been another problem. She'd never dealt with pms before, just lucky she guessed because she was already a highly agitated person. But with her hormones going haywire having Lex dote and question her she wanted to hit him. Just then she doubled over and grabbed onto the wall. Oh, yes, she was going to hit him where it counted. "Just...get...me...to the...fricking...car..." She gasped between breaths.
"You're doing a great job with the no cursing, Chloe. I meant to tell you before..."
"Shut up, Lex."
Lex closed his mouth and nodded. He knew her quirks by now. They'd been married for a little over three years, before that they'd dated for two. Chloe was not a force to be reckoned with. He'd learned not to think of himself as whipped, but in love. Although when the two were compared there wasn't much of a difference. Either way, when Chloe told him to zip it, he did as asked, or rather ordered. Especially in times like these.
When they neared the top of the stairs Chloe stopped and refused to budge. Lex clenched his jaw. "I don't want to hear about the elevator again." She'd told him it might be wise to put something like that to thought, but honestly, he couldn't figure out why. Now he wished he'd set up a pully outside the bedroom window, that way all he'd have had to do was roll her onto it and lower her down. Course if she knew what he was thinking right now, he'd probably be driving to the hospital for not one, but both of them, cause she'd most likely cause him a little bodily harm. "Lex, you're naked."
The words sank in instantly and he froze then looked down at himself. "Shit."
Chloe slapped a hand over her mouth and tried not to laugh as he propped her up against the wall. "Don't try going down those stairs without me, got it?" She nodded, her eyes filled with bemusement. His head jerked up in a quick nod and he turned back around and darted back into the bedroom. Chloe's eyes stayed on his bare ass following his every movement. Looked like Mr. Cool was in a bit of a daze.
Another contraction came and she concentrated on her Lamaze technniques. "Hee hee hoo, hee hee hoo, hee hee hoooooooommmmmmmph LEX!!!!!"
Lex came running back out of the bedroom, Chloe relieved to find he'd covered himself up pretty decently since his brains seemed to be scattered at the moment. "What, what's wrong?" As he reached her she opened her mouth to tell him to slow down but it was too late. His right foot hit the puddle of liquid that she'd wager as a guess was her water that had just broken. He skidded down the hall on his back and finally stopped. Chloe winced and sank down the wall slowly. Tears that had backed up broke through again and Lex fought to get up, slipping here and there. He crawled over to her, not even bothering to imagine what the hell was all over the back of his gray Gucci pants and shirt. "It's okay, sweetie, it's fine."
"It's not fine, Lex." His name came out on a sob. "Just shoot me and put me out of my frickin' misery."
The corner of his mouth started to raise with a grin but he though better of it. "How far apart are they?" Chloe sniffled in reply. "Chloe, honey," He stroked his hand down her hair, reveling in the soft whisps of it. "Tell me, honey."
"Very close."
Lex put his hand on her stomach and spoke in the most soothing voice he could, "Try to do the breathing exercises..."
Chloe's eyes popped open and a vein appeared in her forehead. "I TRIED IT ALREADY, THEY DON'T WORK!"
Lex reared back and laughed, then wisely shut his mouth. "I'm going to go change, just real fast and then I'm going to carry you down those stairs, out to the car, and..."
"JUST GO!"
Lex sprang up from where he was crouched and silently laughed all the way to the room.
*~*
"Breathe, Chloe. In, in, out. Try it, come on."
Chloe burried her face in her hands and started crying. "I suck at this, I can't have a kid, I'm going to be a bad mom, Lex."
Lex reached across the console and pet her hair. "No, baby. We're going to be wonderful parents, just wait and see."
Chloe's head bobbed up and down and then she wailed out, "I'm going to be a shitty mom, our child is going to hate me. I just know it, Lex."
Lex didn't answer. Instead he kept one hand on the back of her head and with the other, navigated the car through the dark winding streets of Smallville.
*~*
“She’s already dialated to 7, Mr. Luthor. We can’t give her any drugs to reduce the pain, by the time they kicked in it wouldn’t matter.”
Chloe screamed at the top of her lungs and wrapped her arms both around the pillow they’d brought from home. When the pain subsided she leaned back against the upright portion of the bed. “This focussing shit isn’t working.”
Lex frowned over in her direction. “Honey, I thought we agreed. What happened to the no cursing…”
“No cursing? No Cursing?!” Chloe grabbed the metal rail on the side of the bed as another contraction washed over her. "FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE!” As soon as the pain receded she sank back down against the pillow stacked behind her.
Chloe closed her eyes and gritted her teeth together. The nurse had stopped in the middle of marking vitals on her chart. Lex stared in shock at his wife. And Dr. Kimba laughed hoarsely before slapping Lex on the shoulder. “Quite the woman you’ve got there.”
Lex stupidly nodded his head and watched her sob during the next wave of pain.
*~*
Nearly two hours later Chloe was crying her little heart out. “I don’t want to do it anymore, Lex.”
Lex sat in a chair at her bedside, flipping through the latest Forbes magazine. “Darling, it’s called labor. That’s why you have to work at it.”
Chloe sniffled and one handedly smacked him in the face with her squeeze pillow. “No more kids after this. I’m so done.”
Lex murmured in agreement, not really listening to her. Chloe knew he’d blocked her out. She’d told him she was going to divorce him twice, told him he was a moron, imbecile, bastard, asshole. She couldn’t think of any name she hadn’t called him, and most of them she’d called him twice. Since he wasn’t listening anyways, she decided to have some fun.
“And don’t even think of trying to have sex with me for atleast a year from now. No nookie for you.” The nurse looked up from the fetal monitor and grinned shyly when Chloe winked at her. “No more of me waiting on you hand and foot.” Not that she ever did with their regular staff at the mansion. “I’ll be expecting breakfast in bed twice a week, whichever days are up to you.” When Lex hummed and nodded turning the page Chloe’s lips twitched into a grin. “Not to mention the fact that I won’t be breastfeeding. If you want some 8 pound mongrel gumming at your tits, be my guest.” The nurse covered her mouth with her hand and laughed silently.
Chloe smiled over at her and tilted her head towards Lex. The nurse shook her head and winked at Chloe as she exited the delivery room. The contractions didn’t hurt as bad now that she’d gotten used to them. She still grimaced with the pain, but the screaming had only seemed to make them worse, so she’d quickly given up on that.
“Lex?” Chloe jabbed at the magazine with her finger until he lowered it and looked up at her. “I love you.”
Lex smiled at her and set the magazine aside. “I love you too, babe.”
Chloe nibbled at her bottom lip and smiled a little. “Sorry about the name calling.”
Lex laughed and came over to her bed, sitting down beside her without bumping into the black elastic belt stretched across her stomach, monitoring all the goings on inside. “Quite alright, darling.”
Chloe grimaced and when the pain didn’t stop she gasped for breath. “Le-hex.”
Lex stood up and stroked a hand through her hair, wiping away the sweat gathering on her forhead. “What is it, sweetie?”
Chloe grabbed a hold of his hand and squeezed as hard as she could, her face turning red and the little veins disappearing beneath her hairline standing at attention. Lex gasped for breath and reached behind him with his other hand, grabbing at dead air and hoping to finally snag the pillow they’d brought from home. When she finally released him and started apologizing, Lex leaned down and kissed her, told her it was fine, and left out the part about his pinky and ring finger being completely numb.
As soon as she caught her breath Chloe gave up all niceties and groaned. “I have to go to the bathroom, Lex.”
Lex nodded and grabbed the bedpan. As he went to go position it, a totally grossed out Chloe closed her legs tightly. “NOT YOU!” When he raised both eyebrows she rolled her eyes toward the door. “Get a nurse.”
Lex laughed and shook his head. “You don’t have anything I haven’t seen before.” When a small growl escaped her parted lips, Lex set the bedpan down and went for the door. “I’ll just go get the nurse.”
Chloe smiled in satisfaction as he disappeared out into the hall.
*~*
“Push, Chloe.”
“Hold it. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.”
“Now release.”
“Okay, one more time.” The doctor’s low and calm voice did absolutely nothing to sooth her.
“If this god damn brat doesn’t come out in the next thirty seconds he’s going to be grounded for the rest of his life.” Since her feet with already in the stirrups and she was practically folded in half, she put her lips against her stomach and warned the unborn child taking up residence in her womb, and obviously overstaying his welcome. “You’re stubborn, I get that.” She gritted out through her teeth. “But you’re slow, that’s your dad’s fault. If you had more of the Sullivan genes in you, you’d already be out and walking by now.”
“Now release.”
Chloe leaned back and drew in a few deep breaths.
“Now push.”
Chloe pushed and Lex stared in awe at her nether regions as a head, or something of the sort, started to make an appearance. “Babies head is crowned.” Nurse made a note of the Doctor’s words and Chloe glared at Lex.
“Hey, Perv. Mind looking up here.” She waved her hand near her face.
Lex didn’t bother blinking back the tears that had welled up in his eyes. “It’s so beautiful, Chloe.”
Chloe sniffled, crying just because Lex was crying. Being in love sucked. Embarrased she grumbled, “Why don’t you take a picture, it’ll last longer.”
Lex’s face brightened and he rushed over to the hospital bag, pulling out her digital camera from her journalist days in highschool. “Smile pretty.” Lex said at the same time the doctor told her to push.
Lex’s jaw dropped and he lowered the camera after an errant flash erupted. “Holy shit.” He whispered.
Chloe started crying as Lex gawked at their baby.
“No sweetie, it’s fine, everything’s fine. It’s a beautiful baby boy.”
“Girl.”
Chloe and Lex pulled apart with a “Huh?” as the doctor placed the baby in her mother’s arms. “It’s a girl.”
Lex frowned for a moment as Chloe started laughing and crying at the same time, stroking the downy red hair. Lex’s hand carefully delved into the lower portion of the blanket, trying to get it unwrapped from the tiny bundle.
“What are you doing?” Chloe hissed accusingly. “It’s a girl, get over it.”
Lex looked menacingly over the doctor who’d delivered the baby, the same doctor who obviously hadn’t known how to read a sonogram.
“Uhemm.” Dr. Kimba cleared his throat. “Baby girl Luthor, 6 pounds, 7 ounces.”
Lex, staring down at his daughter now and stroking a shaky finger down her perfect little nose, obviously her mom’s, cleared his throat as well, uncaring of the fresh tears rolling down his cheeks. “See, she’s not an 8 pound mongrel.”
Chloe’s head jerked up at his reference to her earlier statement when he hadn’t been listening. “You were listening.”
Lex smiled and stroked his good hand, the other still suffering from the tingles, through his wives matted, sweat-soaked hair. “I always listen.”
Chloe turned a delicious shade of pink as she concentrated on the scrunched up face of their daughter. “You know,” Lex continued, “that old saying. Behind every great man, is an even greater woman?”
Chloe flushed more and nodded. “It’s all true.” Lex leaned down and placed his lips at her temple. “Every bit of it is true.”
Chloe smiled and whispered. “Really?”
Lex, smiling against her cheek nodded. “Uh huh.”
Then he turned his face and looked down at their daughter with her. After clearing his throat he said, “About that no nookie thing.”
Chloe huffed and nudged him in the side with her elbow as Lex started laughing.
They both knew she wouldn’t last a year.
end
Title: Hard Labor
Author: Blaire
Disclaimer: I don't own anything
Rating: PG13 for some language
Summary: Chloe's pregnant, and it's not all pansies and rosepetals as those stupid maternity magazines make it out to be.
A/N: Take it from someone's who's been there, done that. I've always heard that labor is different for everyone. I've watched three babies being born. Then I had mine and it was abso-@#%$-lutely nothing like everyone elses.
A/N2: Thanks to Sab and Kat who gave me positive fb, mostly. And to Mel who fed me words when I couldn't remember them, like victory. I think I said, "Hey, what's that word? It's the opposite of loses?"
Hard Labor
"LEX!"
Lex sat upright in his bed, silk sheets falling to his waist, his head turned left, then right. With a panicked start he realized Chloe wasn't in bed with him. "Chloe?" He called out to her.
"LEX!!"
Lex tossed the sheet aside and jumped out of bed, only to land face first in the plush knit of the carpet. He shook the sheet off from around his feet and climbed to his feet. He heard his name being yelled out again and ran across the room in three long-legged strides to the connecting bathroom door.
Chloe sat there on the toilet, her mouth turned down in a frown. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and leaned against the doorjamb. "What? What's wrong?" He moved towards her and knelt down. "Is it time?"
Chloe's face flushed and she tried squirming to the side on the toilet, her ballooned stomach keeping her from completing the task. "I...no.." Chloe shook her head, wispy blonde locks falling in her eyes. "We're umm, out of toilet paper."
Lex reared back with a shocked look on his face. "That's it?" The shock quickly turned to amusement as he shook his head in wonder. "Toilet paper. You screamed for me because you ran out of toilet paper."
Chloe took on the affronted look. "Well, I'm sorry, what was I supposed to do? It's not my fault I have to pee every five minutes. Junior is tossing and turning on my bladder and I'd just as well rather not have an accident on your precious silk sheets and be embarrased as hell. So yeah, I called out for you, I thought you would atleast pretend to understand, but seeing as how you obviously don't, if you'll excuse me, I'll just waddle on down the hall..." Chloe was cut off as Lex placed his hand over her mouth.
"I'm going."
Chloe nodded and bit the inner walls of her cheeks to keep the smile that wanted to bloom across her face. The Sullivan rant got him everytime.
Lex shook his head, aware of a sudden clenching in her mouth as she kept herself from smiling in victory. Lex mentally tallied the score, leaned over and brushed his lips across her forhead and excused himself to go hunt up some T.P. for his extremely pregnant wife.
*~*
"Stop it." Chloe whispered the words in her groggy sleep deprivated voice. Her eyes were still shut and her breathing was still deep but that didn't keep wandering hands from exploring her pregnant naked body.
"Can't, sorry." Lex ran his hands up her legs, to the insides of her thighs, back out again and up her stomach. "I can't stop touching you Chloe." He kissed his way across her expanding midsection and smiled against her protruding belly button. "You're so sexy."
Chloe groaned in mild amusement and pat him on his bald head. "Am not, you're just horny."
Lex disagreed with a low rumble and flicked his thumbs over her sensitive nipples then moved his hands to cup her full breasts in his palms. Then his hands went on a return route and moved back down over her stomach, tracing patterns there. "I love you."
"Mmmm." Chloe shifted and Lex looked back up at her to see that she'd fallen back asleep.
Chuckling softly to himself he pressed a final kiss to her navel and returned to his spot in bed beside her. His fingers trailed lazily over the stretchmarks running across her lower abdomen and he nuzzled his face into her hair, and settled down into a deep sleep.
*~*
Chloe's eyes popped open as her stomach tightened and she gnawed on her lower lip waiting for the pain to pass. Finally she exhaled an uneven breath and turned her face toward Lex. "Lex." His name came out as a strained whisper. She cleared her throat and tried again just as another contraction came. "LEX!"
Lex rolled over away from her on his side. She very faintly heard him mutter something about toilet paper. Chloe clenched her jaw and swung her leg out wide. Her foot connected with his ass and Lex woke up an instant before he landed on the floor. He turned around, knelt down beside the bed. "If you're going to abuse me, I'm going to go sleep in another room." He rooted around for the edge of the mattress then pulled himself up into the bed and under the covers.
"Lex." Chloe whispered again, pain lacing every breath. Her stomach tightened again, skin pulling taut and she screamed for all she was worth. "OH. MI. GOD!"
Lex sat upright and grabbed the blanket. "Fine, you stay. I'll go..." Chloe lunged for him and started sobbing. The last few weeks he'd regularly left in the middle of the night to find another place to sleep. Her restlessness kept him awake and she didn't blame him. But she would be damned if he thought he was going to go get some sleep while this child of his was trying to burst out through her navel.
"It hurts." She cried and tugged on his arm. "Make it stop."
Lex's body went stiff as he came completely awake. "You mean..."
"YES!" She screamed as tears rolled down her cheeks. If these were those stupid Braxton Hicks things she'd read all about she'd be majorly pissed off. "It's time, Lex."
Lex turned to his right, then to his left, mind made up he twirled toward the closet door, and swung the doors open wide, both smacking the walls behind them. "First, get the bag." Lex repeated in his head. Chloe moaned and his pulse skittered. "Almost, done, baby." Lex called out over his shoulder. "Bag, the bag." Without turning to look at her again he threw his hands up in disgust. "WHERE'S THE FUCKING BAG?!"
Chloe had managed to sit up on the side of the bed and gritted her teeth as a sharp pain spliced down her lower back to the heels of her feet. "It's in the car." She replied, hopefully loud enough for him to hear. When he turned and stared at her she reached her arms out to him. "I put it in the backseat of the Spyder."
Lex nodded dumbly and rushed over to her. "Okay, I'll get you down the stairs first, then. Then I'll, uhmmm..."
Chloe rolled her eyes and with one hand pressed to her lower back made it to her feet. "Quit with the stupid list, Lex. Just get me to the hospital, everything else will work out."
Lex nodded as if his neck was made of rubber. "You're sure it's time?" He asked slowly. Chloe rounded on him, her face bright and her eyes sparkling. "Take that as a yes." He muttered under his breath and put an arm around her to lead her out to the hallway. "Okay, down the stairs and out the door."
Chloe could feel her nerves wearing thin. That had been another problem. She'd never dealt with pms before, just lucky she guessed because she was already a highly agitated person. But with her hormones going haywire having Lex dote and question her she wanted to hit him. Just then she doubled over and grabbed onto the wall. Oh, yes, she was going to hit him where it counted. "Just...get...me...to the...fricking...car..." She gasped between breaths.
"You're doing a great job with the no cursing, Chloe. I meant to tell you before..."
"Shut up, Lex."
Lex closed his mouth and nodded. He knew her quirks by now. They'd been married for a little over three years, before that they'd dated for two. Chloe was not a force to be reckoned with. He'd learned not to think of himself as whipped, but in love. Although when the two were compared there wasn't much of a difference. Either way, when Chloe told him to zip it, he did as asked, or rather ordered. Especially in times like these.
When they neared the top of the stairs Chloe stopped and refused to budge. Lex clenched his jaw. "I don't want to hear about the elevator again." She'd told him it might be wise to put something like that to thought, but honestly, he couldn't figure out why. Now he wished he'd set up a pully outside the bedroom window, that way all he'd have had to do was roll her onto it and lower her down. Course if she knew what he was thinking right now, he'd probably be driving to the hospital for not one, but both of them, cause she'd most likely cause him a little bodily harm. "Lex, you're naked."
The words sank in instantly and he froze then looked down at himself. "Shit."
Chloe slapped a hand over her mouth and tried not to laugh as he propped her up against the wall. "Don't try going down those stairs without me, got it?" She nodded, her eyes filled with bemusement. His head jerked up in a quick nod and he turned back around and darted back into the bedroom. Chloe's eyes stayed on his bare ass following his every movement. Looked like Mr. Cool was in a bit of a daze.
Another contraction came and she concentrated on her Lamaze technniques. "Hee hee hoo, hee hee hoo, hee hee hoooooooommmmmmmph LEX!!!!!"
Lex came running back out of the bedroom, Chloe relieved to find he'd covered himself up pretty decently since his brains seemed to be scattered at the moment. "What, what's wrong?" As he reached her she opened her mouth to tell him to slow down but it was too late. His right foot hit the puddle of liquid that she'd wager as a guess was her water that had just broken. He skidded down the hall on his back and finally stopped. Chloe winced and sank down the wall slowly. Tears that had backed up broke through again and Lex fought to get up, slipping here and there. He crawled over to her, not even bothering to imagine what the hell was all over the back of his gray Gucci pants and shirt. "It's okay, sweetie, it's fine."
"It's not fine, Lex." His name came out on a sob. "Just shoot me and put me out of my frickin' misery."
The corner of his mouth started to raise with a grin but he though better of it. "How far apart are they?" Chloe sniffled in reply. "Chloe, honey," He stroked his hand down her hair, reveling in the soft whisps of it. "Tell me, honey."
"Very close."
Lex put his hand on her stomach and spoke in the most soothing voice he could, "Try to do the breathing exercises..."
Chloe's eyes popped open and a vein appeared in her forehead. "I TRIED IT ALREADY, THEY DON'T WORK!"
Lex reared back and laughed, then wisely shut his mouth. "I'm going to go change, just real fast and then I'm going to carry you down those stairs, out to the car, and..."
"JUST GO!"
Lex sprang up from where he was crouched and silently laughed all the way to the room.
*~*
"Breathe, Chloe. In, in, out. Try it, come on."
Chloe burried her face in her hands and started crying. "I suck at this, I can't have a kid, I'm going to be a bad mom, Lex."
Lex reached across the console and pet her hair. "No, baby. We're going to be wonderful parents, just wait and see."
Chloe's head bobbed up and down and then she wailed out, "I'm going to be a shitty mom, our child is going to hate me. I just know it, Lex."
Lex didn't answer. Instead he kept one hand on the back of her head and with the other, navigated the car through the dark winding streets of Smallville.
*~*
“She’s already dialated to 7, Mr. Luthor. We can’t give her any drugs to reduce the pain, by the time they kicked in it wouldn’t matter.”
Chloe screamed at the top of her lungs and wrapped her arms both around the pillow they’d brought from home. When the pain subsided she leaned back against the upright portion of the bed. “This focussing shit isn’t working.”
Lex frowned over in her direction. “Honey, I thought we agreed. What happened to the no cursing…”
“No cursing? No Cursing?!” Chloe grabbed the metal rail on the side of the bed as another contraction washed over her. "FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE!” As soon as the pain receded she sank back down against the pillow stacked behind her.
Chloe closed her eyes and gritted her teeth together. The nurse had stopped in the middle of marking vitals on her chart. Lex stared in shock at his wife. And Dr. Kimba laughed hoarsely before slapping Lex on the shoulder. “Quite the woman you’ve got there.”
Lex stupidly nodded his head and watched her sob during the next wave of pain.
*~*
Nearly two hours later Chloe was crying her little heart out. “I don’t want to do it anymore, Lex.”
Lex sat in a chair at her bedside, flipping through the latest Forbes magazine. “Darling, it’s called labor. That’s why you have to work at it.”
Chloe sniffled and one handedly smacked him in the face with her squeeze pillow. “No more kids after this. I’m so done.”
Lex murmured in agreement, not really listening to her. Chloe knew he’d blocked her out. She’d told him she was going to divorce him twice, told him he was a moron, imbecile, bastard, asshole. She couldn’t think of any name she hadn’t called him, and most of them she’d called him twice. Since he wasn’t listening anyways, she decided to have some fun.
“And don’t even think of trying to have sex with me for atleast a year from now. No nookie for you.” The nurse looked up from the fetal monitor and grinned shyly when Chloe winked at her. “No more of me waiting on you hand and foot.” Not that she ever did with their regular staff at the mansion. “I’ll be expecting breakfast in bed twice a week, whichever days are up to you.” When Lex hummed and nodded turning the page Chloe’s lips twitched into a grin. “Not to mention the fact that I won’t be breastfeeding. If you want some 8 pound mongrel gumming at your tits, be my guest.” The nurse covered her mouth with her hand and laughed silently.
Chloe smiled over at her and tilted her head towards Lex. The nurse shook her head and winked at Chloe as she exited the delivery room. The contractions didn’t hurt as bad now that she’d gotten used to them. She still grimaced with the pain, but the screaming had only seemed to make them worse, so she’d quickly given up on that.
“Lex?” Chloe jabbed at the magazine with her finger until he lowered it and looked up at her. “I love you.”
Lex smiled at her and set the magazine aside. “I love you too, babe.”
Chloe nibbled at her bottom lip and smiled a little. “Sorry about the name calling.”
Lex laughed and came over to her bed, sitting down beside her without bumping into the black elastic belt stretched across her stomach, monitoring all the goings on inside. “Quite alright, darling.”
Chloe grimaced and when the pain didn’t stop she gasped for breath. “Le-hex.”
Lex stood up and stroked a hand through her hair, wiping away the sweat gathering on her forhead. “What is it, sweetie?”
Chloe grabbed a hold of his hand and squeezed as hard as she could, her face turning red and the little veins disappearing beneath her hairline standing at attention. Lex gasped for breath and reached behind him with his other hand, grabbing at dead air and hoping to finally snag the pillow they’d brought from home. When she finally released him and started apologizing, Lex leaned down and kissed her, told her it was fine, and left out the part about his pinky and ring finger being completely numb.
As soon as she caught her breath Chloe gave up all niceties and groaned. “I have to go to the bathroom, Lex.”
Lex nodded and grabbed the bedpan. As he went to go position it, a totally grossed out Chloe closed her legs tightly. “NOT YOU!” When he raised both eyebrows she rolled her eyes toward the door. “Get a nurse.”
Lex laughed and shook his head. “You don’t have anything I haven’t seen before.” When a small growl escaped her parted lips, Lex set the bedpan down and went for the door. “I’ll just go get the nurse.”
Chloe smiled in satisfaction as he disappeared out into the hall.
*~*
“Push, Chloe.”
“Hold it. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.”
“Now release.”
“Okay, one more time.” The doctor’s low and calm voice did absolutely nothing to sooth her.
“If this god damn brat doesn’t come out in the next thirty seconds he’s going to be grounded for the rest of his life.” Since her feet with already in the stirrups and she was practically folded in half, she put her lips against her stomach and warned the unborn child taking up residence in her womb, and obviously overstaying his welcome. “You’re stubborn, I get that.” She gritted out through her teeth. “But you’re slow, that’s your dad’s fault. If you had more of the Sullivan genes in you, you’d already be out and walking by now.”
“Now release.”
Chloe leaned back and drew in a few deep breaths.
“Now push.”
Chloe pushed and Lex stared in awe at her nether regions as a head, or something of the sort, started to make an appearance. “Babies head is crowned.” Nurse made a note of the Doctor’s words and Chloe glared at Lex.
“Hey, Perv. Mind looking up here.” She waved her hand near her face.
Lex didn’t bother blinking back the tears that had welled up in his eyes. “It’s so beautiful, Chloe.”
Chloe sniffled, crying just because Lex was crying. Being in love sucked. Embarrased she grumbled, “Why don’t you take a picture, it’ll last longer.”
Lex’s face brightened and he rushed over to the hospital bag, pulling out her digital camera from her journalist days in highschool. “Smile pretty.” Lex said at the same time the doctor told her to push.
Lex’s jaw dropped and he lowered the camera after an errant flash erupted. “Holy shit.” He whispered.
Chloe started crying as Lex gawked at their baby.
“No sweetie, it’s fine, everything’s fine. It’s a beautiful baby boy.”
“Girl.”
Chloe and Lex pulled apart with a “Huh?” as the doctor placed the baby in her mother’s arms. “It’s a girl.”
Lex frowned for a moment as Chloe started laughing and crying at the same time, stroking the downy red hair. Lex’s hand carefully delved into the lower portion of the blanket, trying to get it unwrapped from the tiny bundle.
“What are you doing?” Chloe hissed accusingly. “It’s a girl, get over it.”
Lex looked menacingly over the doctor who’d delivered the baby, the same doctor who obviously hadn’t known how to read a sonogram.
“Uhemm.” Dr. Kimba cleared his throat. “Baby girl Luthor, 6 pounds, 7 ounces.”
Lex, staring down at his daughter now and stroking a shaky finger down her perfect little nose, obviously her mom’s, cleared his throat as well, uncaring of the fresh tears rolling down his cheeks. “See, she’s not an 8 pound mongrel.”
Chloe’s head jerked up at his reference to her earlier statement when he hadn’t been listening. “You were listening.”
Lex smiled and stroked his good hand, the other still suffering from the tingles, through his wives matted, sweat-soaked hair. “I always listen.”
Chloe turned a delicious shade of pink as she concentrated on the scrunched up face of their daughter. “You know,” Lex continued, “that old saying. Behind every great man, is an even greater woman?”
Chloe flushed more and nodded. “It’s all true.” Lex leaned down and placed his lips at her temple. “Every bit of it is true.”
Chloe smiled and whispered. “Really?”
Lex, smiling against her cheek nodded. “Uh huh.”
Then he turned his face and looked down at their daughter with her. After clearing his throat he said, “About that no nookie thing.”
Chloe huffed and nudged him in the side with her elbow as Lex started laughing.
They both knew she wouldn’t last a year.
end