hateSmallvilleLoveChlex
10th October 2004, 09:23
Title: No Escape
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: The Characters all belong to D.C. comics and the creators of Smallville on the WB. If I owned them, the people would be able to act, Pete would've had more lines, and Chelx would be prevalent.
A/N: This sort of a companion piece to Louise R's "Never Mind". It is in Clark' P.O.V. Please tell me what you think. :blush: First post ever, anywhere.
No Escape
I can't help but think of Her when I look at Lois. The way their eyes would light up in the same predatory way over a story. How Her hair would fall onto her face in the exact manner of Lois'. It was the same cut too, but it was the same color as Lana's.
Lana, Lois... What is it with me and brunettes? Or the initials L.L.?
L.L. ... Lex Luthor, no, PRESIDENT ALEXANDER Luthor. Another person that reminds me of Her. I can't escape Her; not even as Superman. Espescially, not as 'Super'man. I don't think Lex can either. In fact, I know he can't, or else he would leave me be. He won't let me suffer in peace, though. Always trying to bring Superman down. You can't get much lower than me. I think he sees the resemblance in Lois, too. I think that is one of the reasons for his fixation on her, as well as his disgust for me. He sees Lois as my attempt at happiness with Her. The ceasation of my guilt and pain. Lois couldn't stop the past from haunting me while still reminding me of it.
I wonder if She spoke of me to Lois. Did She tell Lois about her crush on me? Did She call Lois crying about all the things I did wrong? I wonder if Lois secretly remembers me from then. I remember Lois coming to Smallville searching for the truth, taking up Her passion for reporting in her quest. Lois should have been able to figure it all out but she never did. I don't think she wanted to really know. She doesn't speak of Her at all anymore. It's like she doesn't want reminders of Her. I can't lie, I need reminders of Her. Why else would I love Lois? Lois, who has Her same haircut. Lois, who has her same drive. Lois, who is also a reporter.
Lois... who is also Her cousin.
Her. She. Chloe. My former best friend. Not the only best friend I've lost, but the reason I lost all of them at the same time. She didn't mean for it to happen. Not that she even knows that it did. But, still, she would hate to think of me alone. Chloe was always so giving, espescially to me. If she were able to trade places with any of them, I would still have a friend. Unless, it was Lex. If Chloe and Lex had traded roles, it might be her who hated me most. But their places weren't reversed, and I'm left with the knowledge that all my friends hate me, except for her.
Her, Chloe, whom I let die. Whom I killed.
Ironic to think that so few know of her existence in my past when she is the reason behind my present and future. I became Superman because of her. If I could have trusted, if I could have kept my temper in check, she would still be alive today. I would still have friends and happiness. I don't know if I would still be Superman. I know I wouldn't still be in love with Lois. At least, I think I know that. I definately wouldn't be a reporter without her. She gave me my first taste of journalism, at the high school paper. Chloe, with her firey, snarky resiliance was behind a lot of firsts in my life. Chloe was the first girl I ever kissed, well she kissed me but I digress. She was my first female friend. She was even my first betrayal, closely followed by Lex.
Lex...I realize now that I should have seen the connection back then. I was too involved with concerns for only myself, though. They were both from Metropolis. They had both lost a parent. They both loved coffee and "verbal judo". They both knew more than their age would suggest. They were both great at searching for and finding what they wanted. And that was the real problem. When I said Chloe was my first betrayal, I meant that she was the first person I betrayed. You see, Chloe needed the truth. I mean really needed it, and I wouldn't supply it. It was the same with Lex. I feared the reporter in Chloe and the ruthless businessman in Lex too much to tell them the truth. So I betrayed their friendship by lying and despised them for lying to me and keeping secrets themselves.
I don't know how they fell in love or when but I know now that it was a great love. It was a love that changes history and had I known it then, history would indeed be different. Lex would be different. If Chloe was the reason behind my present and future, then I am the cause for President Luthor. I was the reason he lost his hair. I am the reason he lost his sanity. I am the reason he lost his love...
His love, Chloe.
Everything goes back to Chloe.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: The Characters all belong to D.C. comics and the creators of Smallville on the WB. If I owned them, the people would be able to act, Pete would've had more lines, and Chelx would be prevalent.
A/N: This sort of a companion piece to Louise R's "Never Mind". It is in Clark' P.O.V. Please tell me what you think. :blush: First post ever, anywhere.
No Escape
I can't help but think of Her when I look at Lois. The way their eyes would light up in the same predatory way over a story. How Her hair would fall onto her face in the exact manner of Lois'. It was the same cut too, but it was the same color as Lana's.
Lana, Lois... What is it with me and brunettes? Or the initials L.L.?
L.L. ... Lex Luthor, no, PRESIDENT ALEXANDER Luthor. Another person that reminds me of Her. I can't escape Her; not even as Superman. Espescially, not as 'Super'man. I don't think Lex can either. In fact, I know he can't, or else he would leave me be. He won't let me suffer in peace, though. Always trying to bring Superman down. You can't get much lower than me. I think he sees the resemblance in Lois, too. I think that is one of the reasons for his fixation on her, as well as his disgust for me. He sees Lois as my attempt at happiness with Her. The ceasation of my guilt and pain. Lois couldn't stop the past from haunting me while still reminding me of it.
I wonder if She spoke of me to Lois. Did She tell Lois about her crush on me? Did She call Lois crying about all the things I did wrong? I wonder if Lois secretly remembers me from then. I remember Lois coming to Smallville searching for the truth, taking up Her passion for reporting in her quest. Lois should have been able to figure it all out but she never did. I don't think she wanted to really know. She doesn't speak of Her at all anymore. It's like she doesn't want reminders of Her. I can't lie, I need reminders of Her. Why else would I love Lois? Lois, who has Her same haircut. Lois, who has her same drive. Lois, who is also a reporter.
Lois... who is also Her cousin.
Her. She. Chloe. My former best friend. Not the only best friend I've lost, but the reason I lost all of them at the same time. She didn't mean for it to happen. Not that she even knows that it did. But, still, she would hate to think of me alone. Chloe was always so giving, espescially to me. If she were able to trade places with any of them, I would still have a friend. Unless, it was Lex. If Chloe and Lex had traded roles, it might be her who hated me most. But their places weren't reversed, and I'm left with the knowledge that all my friends hate me, except for her.
Her, Chloe, whom I let die. Whom I killed.
Ironic to think that so few know of her existence in my past when she is the reason behind my present and future. I became Superman because of her. If I could have trusted, if I could have kept my temper in check, she would still be alive today. I would still have friends and happiness. I don't know if I would still be Superman. I know I wouldn't still be in love with Lois. At least, I think I know that. I definately wouldn't be a reporter without her. She gave me my first taste of journalism, at the high school paper. Chloe, with her firey, snarky resiliance was behind a lot of firsts in my life. Chloe was the first girl I ever kissed, well she kissed me but I digress. She was my first female friend. She was even my first betrayal, closely followed by Lex.
Lex...I realize now that I should have seen the connection back then. I was too involved with concerns for only myself, though. They were both from Metropolis. They had both lost a parent. They both loved coffee and "verbal judo". They both knew more than their age would suggest. They were both great at searching for and finding what they wanted. And that was the real problem. When I said Chloe was my first betrayal, I meant that she was the first person I betrayed. You see, Chloe needed the truth. I mean really needed it, and I wouldn't supply it. It was the same with Lex. I feared the reporter in Chloe and the ruthless businessman in Lex too much to tell them the truth. So I betrayed their friendship by lying and despised them for lying to me and keeping secrets themselves.
I don't know how they fell in love or when but I know now that it was a great love. It was a love that changes history and had I known it then, history would indeed be different. Lex would be different. If Chloe was the reason behind my present and future, then I am the cause for President Luthor. I was the reason he lost his hair. I am the reason he lost his sanity. I am the reason he lost his love...
His love, Chloe.
Everything goes back to Chloe.