tiff
3rd May 2004, 11:35
Title: Imperfect
Rating: G-PG, character death
Disclaimer: I got nothin'.
AN: Actually, all three parts of the story were three separate beginnings to stories I just couldn't seem to continue/finish. So I just kinda pieced them together into one and tried to make it fit. If inspiration hits, I'll continue the parts separately. This is definitely not my best...Probably one of the worst but I needed to get it out, so here it is.
I’m sorry I’m not perfect.
I’m paranoid and drink too much scotch. I’m a compulsive liar and a workaholic. I’m anal and controlling. I’m a perfectionist. I’m obsessive.
The blood coursing through my veins is cursed, tainted, impure.
I tried to make you strong, but instead, it seems you’re much like me. And it will destroy you, and the woman you love. You deny yourself for now. Determined that everything you touch will rot. And it will. All of it. Turn to ash at your fingertips and fall artistically to the floor.
I fooled myself, into thinking I was raising you right. I was raising you well. I was raising you to be strong and independent. To be courageous, cautious, and intelligent. I wanted you to be my legacy to the world and I wanted LuthorCorp and all its subsidiaries to be my legacy to you and the children you would bring into the world. But now I see. Now I see…
I was a fool.
There is no turning back. For me, for you. You will fall prey to your passions, to the woman you love. You will ruin her.
Chloe Sullivan… She’d seem an odd choice to anyone who doesn’t know better. For one thing, she’s blonde, and another, she’s young, and another, she’s not a deceitful bitch. She’s an innocent who knows how to get her hands dirty. She’s neither here nor there. She’s beautiful and intelligent. She can utilize cold logic and reason, and she can be overcome with spiteful rage. She’s much like you in that sense.
I was as good a father to you as I could be, for once, it might not have been good enough. I tried.
-------------------------------------------
His father is dead.
He does not rejoice as he often thought he would. The sun shines brightly in the clear blue sky over the funeral. He looks dispassionately over the crowd as he delivers the eulogy he wrote and rewrote fifty-seven times.
“How does it feel to finally be free?” Lucas asked with a solemn smirk as Lex took his seat again.
He never thought a smirk could be solemn.
“Lonely.”
And soon the funeral was over and he was shaking hands and thanking people for coming and accepting condolences from people, many whose names he couldn’t remember. He stayed long after everyone had left and the sun began to set.
“Well dad. I guess it’s useless but, I hope you’re not burning in hell right now. You were my father and despite my denial, I am thankful to you for influencing the man I’ve become.” He sighed and crouched in front of the marble set right next to his mother’s.
We buried you right next to mom, just like you wanted. I think most of the people who came today would’ve preferred it to be open-casket, to see with their own eyes that you’re dead. They probably went home and toasted to it. And I can’t fault them for it, because you were one magnificent bastard.
I think even Lucas is a little grateful that you’re gone.
You weren’t the ideal father, but you were my father and I am your son, nothing can ever break that bond. I once hoped that I would be a better father than you ever were.
But that’s not going to happen.”
He turned and walked away without a backward glance.
-------------------------------------------
She’s better off without me.
At least that’s what I keep telling myself. Over and over and over again. Watching her live her life. Her new life. Without me. Longingly…I trace her face on the screen before me. I trace the smile on her lips, the one I hadn’t seen for years.
I almost smile. Almost. At seeing her so happy without me. At starting over in this brand new life, free of her past, of her memories, of me.
What about me? Without her? I’m nothing. I’m a monster, just as I’ve always been. Without her light… I am corrupt, and would’ve inevitably destroyed her too. I’d rather sacrifice being with her than destroying her. Than being the one who robbed her of what made her so special. So perfect. Unlike me.
I take a deep breath and turn off the screen.
I suck it up and move on…because at least this way, I know she’s all right. I'm not you and she's not mom. We're different.
She's better off without me. Somehow, I'll deal with it. I always do.
the end.
Rating: G-PG, character death
Disclaimer: I got nothin'.
AN: Actually, all three parts of the story were three separate beginnings to stories I just couldn't seem to continue/finish. So I just kinda pieced them together into one and tried to make it fit. If inspiration hits, I'll continue the parts separately. This is definitely not my best...Probably one of the worst but I needed to get it out, so here it is.
I’m sorry I’m not perfect.
I’m paranoid and drink too much scotch. I’m a compulsive liar and a workaholic. I’m anal and controlling. I’m a perfectionist. I’m obsessive.
The blood coursing through my veins is cursed, tainted, impure.
I tried to make you strong, but instead, it seems you’re much like me. And it will destroy you, and the woman you love. You deny yourself for now. Determined that everything you touch will rot. And it will. All of it. Turn to ash at your fingertips and fall artistically to the floor.
I fooled myself, into thinking I was raising you right. I was raising you well. I was raising you to be strong and independent. To be courageous, cautious, and intelligent. I wanted you to be my legacy to the world and I wanted LuthorCorp and all its subsidiaries to be my legacy to you and the children you would bring into the world. But now I see. Now I see…
I was a fool.
There is no turning back. For me, for you. You will fall prey to your passions, to the woman you love. You will ruin her.
Chloe Sullivan… She’d seem an odd choice to anyone who doesn’t know better. For one thing, she’s blonde, and another, she’s young, and another, she’s not a deceitful bitch. She’s an innocent who knows how to get her hands dirty. She’s neither here nor there. She’s beautiful and intelligent. She can utilize cold logic and reason, and she can be overcome with spiteful rage. She’s much like you in that sense.
I was as good a father to you as I could be, for once, it might not have been good enough. I tried.
-------------------------------------------
His father is dead.
He does not rejoice as he often thought he would. The sun shines brightly in the clear blue sky over the funeral. He looks dispassionately over the crowd as he delivers the eulogy he wrote and rewrote fifty-seven times.
“How does it feel to finally be free?” Lucas asked with a solemn smirk as Lex took his seat again.
He never thought a smirk could be solemn.
“Lonely.”
And soon the funeral was over and he was shaking hands and thanking people for coming and accepting condolences from people, many whose names he couldn’t remember. He stayed long after everyone had left and the sun began to set.
“Well dad. I guess it’s useless but, I hope you’re not burning in hell right now. You were my father and despite my denial, I am thankful to you for influencing the man I’ve become.” He sighed and crouched in front of the marble set right next to his mother’s.
We buried you right next to mom, just like you wanted. I think most of the people who came today would’ve preferred it to be open-casket, to see with their own eyes that you’re dead. They probably went home and toasted to it. And I can’t fault them for it, because you were one magnificent bastard.
I think even Lucas is a little grateful that you’re gone.
You weren’t the ideal father, but you were my father and I am your son, nothing can ever break that bond. I once hoped that I would be a better father than you ever were.
But that’s not going to happen.”
He turned and walked away without a backward glance.
-------------------------------------------
She’s better off without me.
At least that’s what I keep telling myself. Over and over and over again. Watching her live her life. Her new life. Without me. Longingly…I trace her face on the screen before me. I trace the smile on her lips, the one I hadn’t seen for years.
I almost smile. Almost. At seeing her so happy without me. At starting over in this brand new life, free of her past, of her memories, of me.
What about me? Without her? I’m nothing. I’m a monster, just as I’ve always been. Without her light… I am corrupt, and would’ve inevitably destroyed her too. I’d rather sacrifice being with her than destroying her. Than being the one who robbed her of what made her so special. So perfect. Unlike me.
I take a deep breath and turn off the screen.
I suck it up and move on…because at least this way, I know she’s all right. I'm not you and she's not mom. We're different.
She's better off without me. Somehow, I'll deal with it. I always do.
the end.