Lilith The First
22nd January 2004, 19:41
Title: Winter
Author: Lilith The First
Rating: PG
Spoilers: none
Disclaimer: not mine.
Author's Note: once again, thanks to Tigerlily (ha, i can call her that! ^__-) and to Gea because they convinced me into writing Chlex.
It is snowing. White wadding flakes are raining from the sky. Grey, hollow. The so-called celestial vault is now of a tonality which is not of the ash, neither of the pearl. Words, above all mine, cannot tell the solemnity of the sky in this day.
It is snowing. Everything around me is covered with a thick white layer. I raise my eyes, turning my gaze at the origin of this event, and I'm blind. Pure tiny particles fall at a velocity, which is at the same time endless and whirling. I close my eyes, just feeling the snow, but I don't shiver while thousand of these icy drops seem falling on my face. I have been raised too well to get upset for... how used my father to call it... dirty water.
Nothing could be more wrong. How could one define this colour so bright, even in the leaden light of an early January morning? So white, so simply white that my language doesn't even offer a term of comparison. This is antonomasia.
Everything around me is snow-white.
I would like to show it to you, father. I would show you this landscape, but it would only make you understand that you were mistaken. Once again. And these are not things you would like to know. Not that I could ever tell you them, either.
I let these thought carry me away with them, while my mind fluctuates. I open my eyes. Slowly, after what seems an eternity to me, I lower my gaze, bringing it in front of me. And now one of these flakes ends in my eyelashes, blinding me for a moment. I blink and that flake thaws.
And then I see you. Sitting in the snow. Gazing at the sky. Like if, and that is the impression I had in that moment, like if you were addressing to the firmament an unspoken prayer.
Asking for mercy.
For a purification.
You won over your personal devil. You're free from the man who wanted to control your person, sending you into a coil made of sarcasm and blackmail.. You struggled against him, body and mind both focused in this war. You had an objective to reach, and were desperate to succeed. With all the consequences this could bring in it.
You fought this battle, winning it. Winning it to the eyes of the world. But to yours? I don't think so. To your eyes this is a failure. You stretch out your hands in front of you, you stretch them to capture as many flakes as possible, you act to obtain the absolution the sky doesn't give you.
Murderer.
Murderer.
You repeat it feverishly to yourself, like a continuous and obstinate self-accusation. Who you killed was innocent.
Innocent. Murderer.
And it's like this that I'll remember you. Always. A woman, now as small as a girl, who prays the sky for something that, even if it came, you couldn't recognise. Your conscience has already convicted you. Without appeal. Murderer.
I turn from you, while the snow falls relentless. It's a silence so atrocious that seems uproar. And I can still hear you.
Murderer.
Murderer.
Murderer.
And my voice joins yours, addressing you words that will haunt you forever.
I was innocent. You are a murderer.
Author: Lilith The First
Rating: PG
Spoilers: none
Disclaimer: not mine.
Author's Note: once again, thanks to Tigerlily (ha, i can call her that! ^__-) and to Gea because they convinced me into writing Chlex.
It is snowing. White wadding flakes are raining from the sky. Grey, hollow. The so-called celestial vault is now of a tonality which is not of the ash, neither of the pearl. Words, above all mine, cannot tell the solemnity of the sky in this day.
It is snowing. Everything around me is covered with a thick white layer. I raise my eyes, turning my gaze at the origin of this event, and I'm blind. Pure tiny particles fall at a velocity, which is at the same time endless and whirling. I close my eyes, just feeling the snow, but I don't shiver while thousand of these icy drops seem falling on my face. I have been raised too well to get upset for... how used my father to call it... dirty water.
Nothing could be more wrong. How could one define this colour so bright, even in the leaden light of an early January morning? So white, so simply white that my language doesn't even offer a term of comparison. This is antonomasia.
Everything around me is snow-white.
I would like to show it to you, father. I would show you this landscape, but it would only make you understand that you were mistaken. Once again. And these are not things you would like to know. Not that I could ever tell you them, either.
I let these thought carry me away with them, while my mind fluctuates. I open my eyes. Slowly, after what seems an eternity to me, I lower my gaze, bringing it in front of me. And now one of these flakes ends in my eyelashes, blinding me for a moment. I blink and that flake thaws.
And then I see you. Sitting in the snow. Gazing at the sky. Like if, and that is the impression I had in that moment, like if you were addressing to the firmament an unspoken prayer.
Asking for mercy.
For a purification.
You won over your personal devil. You're free from the man who wanted to control your person, sending you into a coil made of sarcasm and blackmail.. You struggled against him, body and mind both focused in this war. You had an objective to reach, and were desperate to succeed. With all the consequences this could bring in it.
You fought this battle, winning it. Winning it to the eyes of the world. But to yours? I don't think so. To your eyes this is a failure. You stretch out your hands in front of you, you stretch them to capture as many flakes as possible, you act to obtain the absolution the sky doesn't give you.
Murderer.
Murderer.
You repeat it feverishly to yourself, like a continuous and obstinate self-accusation. Who you killed was innocent.
Innocent. Murderer.
And it's like this that I'll remember you. Always. A woman, now as small as a girl, who prays the sky for something that, even if it came, you couldn't recognise. Your conscience has already convicted you. Without appeal. Murderer.
I turn from you, while the snow falls relentless. It's a silence so atrocious that seems uproar. And I can still hear you.
Murderer.
Murderer.
Murderer.
And my voice joins yours, addressing you words that will haunt you forever.
I was innocent. You are a murderer.