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Dannyblue
21st January 2004, 18:22
Title: I’ll Show You Mine
Author: Dannyblue
E-MAIL: dannyblue2@yahoo.com
SUMMARY: A frivolous, short, and hopefully humorous fic. If you want something, you have to be willing to make a fair exchange.
SPOILERS: None really. Story is set some time in season 2.
RATING: PG-13
WARNINGS: There's no harsh language, but the subject might get a little risque.
FEEDBACK: Yes, please.
DISTRIBUTION: All you have to do is ask.
DISCLAIMER: I don’t own Smallville. Other, richer people do.
AUTHOR’S NOTE: It's so hard to figure out where to post fics. But this is a funny story (I hope) with Chloe/Lex intereaction, so I hope it's okay to post it here. If not, mods, please set me straight by moving it. :) Anyway, this is especially for those who've been reading "Restless Spirits". I just want you to know I'm working on it. Just trying to decide where to take it next. Basically, I have too many options! But the next chapter will be up soon. Until then, enjoy.




Clark Kent was tempted to use his super speed. He didn’t care that he was in the middle of a busy street, and dozens of people would notice if he vanished in a sudden blur of motion. He just wanted to get away.

“Come on, Clark!” Chloe Sullivan said, hard on his heels. “It’s a simple question that requires a simple answer.”

“Well, I plead the fifth,” Clark said. Pushing open the door of the Talon, he hurried into the coffee house.

“What’s the big deal?” Chloe demanded, the slightest hint of a whine creeping into her voice. “It’s not like I’m going to print it on the front page of The Torch.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about,” Clark muttered. He clutched the strap of his backpack as his desperate eyes searched the Talon for some kind of escape.

And he found it in a very familiar face. Lex Luthor was sitting at a table, a file folder open in front of him, a laptop humming at his elbow.

“Lex!” Clark exclaimed, not trying to hide his relief. Grinning, he started across the room.

“Clark. Miss Sullivan,” Lex said with a welcoming smile. Even as he smoothly closed the file folder with one hand, folded down the screen of the laptop with the other. “And what are you two up to today?”

“Nothing,” Clark began. “We’re just…”

“Clark’s being a big baby man,” Chloe interrupted.

Sitting back in his seat, Lex stared at them. One eyebrow peaked with curiosity. “Really?”

Clark sighed. “No, not really. I’m just…”

“Running like a freakishly big chicken from a simple question?” Chloe asked.

Lex’s piercing gaze moved back and forth between the two teen-agers. A smirk quirked his lips. “Now I’m intrigued. What was the question?”

When a triumphant grin lit up Chloe’s face, Clark groaned. He should’ve seen this coming. It was bad enough having Chloe give him the third degree. Now, he’d practically handed her an even more persistent accomplice on a silver platter.

“Okay!” Filled with eager energy, the young reporter dropped into a chair and leaned across the table. “So, in class, we were given an assignment. Write about our most embarrassing moment. Not the details of what happened, but how it made us feel.”

“Hmmm.” Lex’s curious eyes settled on Clark’s face. “Sound’s interesting. If a little too Psych 101 for my tastes.”

“That’s what I thought too.” Chloe shrugged. “But, hey, easy A, right? Or B- at least. Anyway, I was pretty sure what Clark’s most embarrassing moment was. He spilled apple juice in his lap during lunch once, and had to stand up in front of the class to give a book report the next period.”

While Lex didn’t laugh out loud, his eyes danced with amusement. Clark’s face turned red as he squirmed in his chair. He’d never forget the snickering. The whispers. The pointing. The endless Depends jokes.

“Well,” Chloe continued, “as it turns out, that’s wasn’t Farmboy’s greatest humiliation.”

Groaning again, Clark slouched in his chair. It was his own fault. When Chloe leaned towards his desk and whispered, ‘I know what you’re writing about. The apple juice incident.’ he’d foolishly said, ‘Well, that was embarrassing. But not nearly as bad as…’

He’d cut himself off before he’d revealed too much, but it was already too late. Chloe’s curiosity was peaked.

But it wasn’t like he could tell her the truth, now could he? That his most embarrassing moment was waking up one morning, sitting up in bed, looking straight through the wall into his parents’ bedroom (thanks to his x-ray vision) and seeing…Seeing…

Weeks later, thinking about it still made him want to take a scouring pad to his brain. For a while, he thought he’d never be able to think about sex again. But, well, he was 16 and a guy, so it hadn’t really been a problem. Still…

“So, share, Clark,” Chloe demanded. She waved towards their audience. “Lex and I are dying to know.”

“Come now, Miss Sullivan,” Lex said. “A man is entitled to his secrets.”

Clark started to sigh in relief. So it wasn’t going to be two against one.

“However,” Lex continued, causing Clark’s sigh to catch in his throat. “I am curious. I suggest a fair exchange.”

“Yes!” Chloe exclaimed. She clapped her hands, rubbing them together with glee. “I’m game! Who gets to go first?”

“I will,” Lex graciously offered.

Clark opened his mouth to tell them he wasn’t playing this game. But, before he could get the words out…

“When I was 17,” Lex began, “my father came home early and found me having oral sex with his mistress. In his private office. He entered just as the young woman was…reaching the peak of her excitement. In fact, her screams were probably what drew him to the office in the first place.” After a thoughtful pause, Lex continued. “Anyway, having my father find me in that particular…position was more than a little embarrassing.” Finished with his tale, Lex watched them expectantly.

The two teens sat frozen in their seats, eyes glazed as they stared at the completely relaxed man across from them. All kinds of interesting images danced through their young, innocent minds.

When he realized Lex was watching Chloe, a wicked grin hovering at the corners of his lips, Clark turned to see why.

Chloe’s mouth was hanging open, her chin almost touching her chest. Her eyes were huge, about twice their normal size. Color flooded her face, until she was as red as a ripe tomato.

“U-um, w-well,” she stammered. “Well. Th-that’s, uh, very…Um. Yeah.”

Clark was fascinated. Chloe had been robbed of the power of speech, which he didn’t think was possible. And she usually had such a focused, penetrating gaze. But, now, her eyes were darting around the room. Whenever they landed on Clark or Lex, they quickly skittered away.

“Wow. That’s…Hey, is that Lana?” Chloe croaked, pointing to the girl behind the counter. “I h-have to talk to her about…things.”

Chloe all but fell out of her chair. She walked towards the counter so fast, it was a wonder she didn’t trip over her own feet.

“You know, Clark,” Lex said casually, “if you didn’t want to tell Chloe your most embarrassing moment, you should have just made something up. Not only would it have satisfied her curiosity, but it probably would have been more interesting than the truth.”

Clark frowned. “Yeah. I guess I didn’t think of that.”

“Yeah, I guess you wouldn’t.” Lex took a sip of his coffee.

“But I’m impressed.” Clark grinned. “I mean, I’ve never seen anything shut Chloe down as fast as the story you just made up.”

“Oh, the story’s true,” Lex assured him. The young billionaire shrugged. “But I was never embarrassed about it.”



THE END

Blaire023
21st January 2004, 18:30
*checks the tally board*

Yep, one more checkmark for Lex.

Heeee, if Lex said that to me...I'd have blushed to my roots, too. But only because I'd have been picturing me in the position with him. then again, that would mean I'd have to be Lionel's mistress. *frowns* Well, I guess sometimes you just have to make sacrifices.

LOL, I loved it. If you decide to do a sequel, I'm all up for it.

~B

autumngold
21st January 2004, 18:43
Originally posted by Blaire023@Jan 21 2004, 05:30 PM
Heeee, if Lex said that to me...I'd have blushed to my roots, too. But only because I'd have been picturing me in the position with him. then again, that would mean I'd have to be Lionel's mistress. *frowns* Well, I guess sometimes you just have to make sacrifices.

LOL, I loved it. If you decide to do a sequel, I'm all up for it.

~B
I think that was exactly what Chloe was picturing (minus the Lionel part of course!!) That was so funny!! I think you should definitely write a sequel where Chloe tries to get even with Lex!! :biggrin: :chlexsign3:

Kit Merlot
21st January 2004, 19:37
DAMN FUNNY :biggrin:

Well done--I loved it!!

staysixkid
21st January 2004, 22:23
brilliant i say! brilliant!!!!! :biggrin:

Impress
21st January 2004, 23:06
I'm all for a sequel with some Chloe revenge.

Good one.

scifichick774
21st January 2004, 23:39
LMAO! OMG! That was classic.

hfce
22nd January 2004, 02:47
:lol: my God funny :lol:



Hope :clap:

katspell
22nd January 2004, 03:49
yup, Lex 6, Chloe zip.
Lex got bonus points for knocking her speachless... LOL
Loved it.

Val
22nd January 2004, 04:23
Originally posted by Impress@Jan 21 2004, 05:06 PM
I'm all for a sequel with some Chloe revenge.

Good one.
I second that! She couldn't just let it go, could she? SHE WAS speechless! Not somthing she is comfortable with I'm sure! ;)

Clannadlvr
22nd January 2004, 08:00
LOL

That was too funny...definite points for Lex in that scenario. Please write "If You show me yours"!! I'd love for Chloe to get him back!

Sab_Luthor
22nd January 2004, 13:17
that was sooooo funny
naughty naughty lexy

Lilith The First
22nd January 2004, 19:54
this was... this was *so* Lex...

:biggrin:

Elviriel
23rd January 2004, 05:43
:lol:this is such a good fic ! Loved it ;)

gina
23rd January 2004, 11:04
I loved this! So funny! :lol:

Great job!

Like others, I'd also love to see a sequel where Chloe leaves Lex speechless.

TheDragonLady
3rd April 2004, 01:53
I think I need a sequel... Yes, I do!

dce
3rd April 2004, 08:17
I can only agree with everything that's been written before. Go Lex! :biggrin:

sosostris
13th April 2004, 08:29
nice one lex! i love that he wasn't embarrassed by it, that is so lex!

Sylyna
27th April 2004, 01:29
naughty lex. he needs to be spanked. :yay2: :yay2: :yay2:

MORE PLEASE!

lunaluthor
27th April 2004, 16:11
sounds like a great beginning to hell of a story, soe were is my sequel I demand a sequel asap :yay: :yay:

sabby
9th May 2004, 17:50
*Snickers* poor Chloe, but really, she shoul have expected something like that from Lex, I mean come on he's Lex! And of course he wouldn't be embarrassed about it, more like smug little bastard, smirking his ass off while Lionel is the one dumbfounded for once.

loved it!

Sab

hlmilk
12th May 2004, 03:50
WOW! I want more more more more more. Okay, I should stop begging now. :blush:

I wonder what revenge Chloe will come up with.. Hmm.

hippiez
14th May 2004, 16:02
OMG! That was funny!

LarkLuthor
16th May 2004, 14:17
Man, I love your fics, Danny! And I mean the Cordelia/Angel as well as the Chlex ones. They're so good! :drool: This is the third or forth time I've read this one.

Lark

Ainur
5th November 2004, 04:49
That was great. I'm just laughingy ass off. Great job!!! :biggrin:

Sidhe
19th February 2005, 10:33
Now that was pure Lex! :cool:

Krysia
19th February 2005, 12:11
:chlexsign1: Great story, not sure how I missed it before. And I totally agree with the people before me Lex is written perfectly. Now Why can't we see something like this happening on the show?

Baily007
21st February 2005, 09:26
This was sooo funny! :blinkkiss: Loved it!

Charmeye
21st February 2005, 17:50
Too Funny!! :applause:

Now you must to a sequel, come on, Lex has to get Chloe to trade up her most embaressing moment of course. ;)

:chlexsign3:

jafrizbee
26th February 2005, 03:33
That was hilarious and I definitely agree with Charmeye that a seqaul is needed!

Dannyblue
28th February 2005, 16:29
While not actually a sequel sequel, I did write a fic that was sort of inspired by "I'll Show You Mine". It was like, I was thinking of that fic, and the idea for this one sprang to mine. So, those who enjoyed this one might also like Knight In Shining Porsche (http://forums.naughty-seduction.net/showthread.php?t=1704).

Krysia
1st March 2005, 05:00
Wonderful story, but it kinda makes me wonder what would make Lex feel embarrassed?

peepsRfun2eat
4th March 2005, 15:16
hehe... Great story still laughing due to the last line.

starmoon
15th March 2005, 08:33
That was so funny!

Possibilities Unknown
29th May 2005, 19:06
Hehehe! She was embarassed cuz she was thinking of Lex doing that to her, wasn't she?! lol! I loved the last line! Oh, and I also love Clarks most embarassing moment. Great story all around!

arkakitty
9th June 2005, 15:38
Great great great!!!

jaxie926
26th June 2005, 22:37
“But I’m impressed.” Clark grinned. “I mean, I’ve never seen anything shut Chloe down as fast as the story you just made up.”

“Oh, the story’s true,” Lex assured him. The young billionaire shrugged. “But I was never embarrassed about it.”

love the way you write the characters!!!

darkangel
7th July 2005, 07:56
This fic was so funny. I loved it.

Cho_Hakkai
5th August 2005, 02:23
Hilarious! I love this - “Running like a freakishly big chicken from a simple question." - but I think that I like the last line more!

-Cho

Ann
28th August 2005, 23:20
LMAO! That was great. I would have blushed too but like Blaire said, it would have been because I was imagining myself in the mistresses place. Ooh, naughty thoughts.

I really loved this fic! But I think there should be a sequel since they agreed to a fair exchange. hint,hint.

angie284
16th September 2005, 01:02
:clapclap: Love the last line. I could so see Clark actually having those two incidents happening to him.

kimmie
17th September 2005, 16:16
All sorts of pictures spring to mind when you think of Lex's embarrassing moment!!!


Great fic...


Kimmie

AlwaysPretending
1st October 2005, 14:59
I'm not sure if I've feedbacked this one before but I had read it when you posted it previously - still didn't stop me from rereading, of course :) I enjoyed it just as much the second time as I remember enjoying it the first. Lex does know how to keep Chloe at bay at times, doesn't he? LOL

Kerry

starmoon
13th December 2005, 23:54
lol that was great how chloe was speachless though i would be too them i would have to make sure i didn't drool. :drool: the women was lucky to get lex.

somethingeasy
8th May 2006, 14:19
I really enjoyed it, the thought of Lex sharing THAT much information with innocents was hilarious. I can actually imagine Lex messing around with people's heads like that, purely out of sheer boredom. And the punchline had me almost falling off my chair in silly giggles (and I don't giggle easily) :D

I want some more DannyBlue shorties (please?)

peapod
9th May 2006, 04:26
thats was great!! i can so see lex saying something like that, just to shock people.

:rofl:

Pieper
11th May 2006, 12:50
Great story.

Esther25jm
2nd July 2006, 22:53
Bwahahaaa, that Lex is one smart dude!! Goodness, don't blame Chloe for the blushing, either. <g> Hehee, love the last line....it's soo Lex. Great job!

~*~Tasha~*~
6th July 2006, 06:00
ROFL!! The story was true, but he wasn't embarrassed by it. I figure he was probably pretty darn proud to be able to do that to his father's mistress. LOL!

SVfan1286
16th December 2007, 14:46
Naughty Lex, I loved it! Really funny, and I loved the last line.

My question is, what would embarrass Lex?

maja
13th September 2009, 19:26
funny :rofl:

macgurL91
13th October 2009, 20:09
awww.. this one is sooooo cute!

Ami Rose
7th October 2013, 13:07
Lmao wow